I've been tagged. Barry, apparently, got it from Nice Deb.

Here are the rules:

1. Write your own six word memoir.
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you want.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere.
4. Tag at least five more blogs with links.
5. Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play

So, here's my six word memoir...

I'm not tagging anyone, because I taint in the mood, but if you'd like to participate, by all means, take it and run with it.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:59 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Because it's Friday afternoon and I don't have much going on.

Swiped from Sheila.

Here are the rules:

Bold movies you have watched and liked.
Turn red movies you have watched and loved.
Italicize movies you saw and didnÂ’t like.
Leave as is movies you havenÂ’t seen.

You got it? Read the rules a few times for good measure, so that this list makes sense. You ready? Ok. away we go.

The Godfather (1972)
The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
The Godfather: Part II (1974)
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)
Pulp Fiction (1994)
SchindlerÂ’s List (1993)
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) (The best entry in the entire series. Hands down.)
One Flew Over the CuckooÂ’s Nest (1975)
Casablanca (1942)
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) (just because I was happy it was finally over with.)
Star Wars (1977)
12 Angry Men (1957)
Rear Window (1954)
No Country for Old Men (2007)
Goodfellas (1990)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) (Any fondness I had for it evaporated with repeated viewings. Weak.)
City of God (2002)
Once Upon a Time in the West (196
The Usual Suspects (1995)
Psycho (1960)
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
Citizen Kane (1941)
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
North by Northwest (1959)
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
Fight Club (1999) ("SPACE MONKEY!")
Memento (2000)(Trippy little tale.)
Sunset Blvd. (1950)
Lawrence of Arabia (1962)(You want to understand Arabs? Watch this movie. You'll get it afterwards.)
ItÂ’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
The Matrix (1999) (perhaps the color should be green?)
Taxi Driver (1976)
Se7en (1995)
Apocalypse Now (1979)
American Beauty (1999) (Yeeuch!)
Vertigo (195
Amélie (2001)
The Departed (2006)
Paths of Glory (1957)
American History X (199
To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
Chinatown (1974)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
The Third Man (1949)
A Clockwork Orange (1971)
PanÂ’s Labyrinth (2006)
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (194
Alien (1979)
The Pianist (2002)
The Shining (1980)
Double Indemnity (1944)
L.A. Confidential (1997)
Leben der Anderen, Das [The Lives of Others] (2006)
The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)
Boot, Das (1981)
The Maltese Falcon (1941)
Saving Private Ryan (199
Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Forrest Gump (1994) (Loathe this film. Really and Truly. Mr. H. and I were recently discussing how, one day in the future, Tom Hanks will be ashamed he won an Oscar for this role. )
Metropolis (1927)
Aliens (1986)
Raging Bull (1980)
Rashômon (1950)
SinginÂ’ in the Rain (1952)
Rebecca (1940)
Hotel Rwanda (2004)
Sin City (2005) (Visually interesting, but not all that good in the scheme of things.)
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
All About Eve (1950)
Modern Times (1936)
Some Like It Hot (1959)
2001: A Space Odyssey (196
The Seventh Seal (1957)
The Great Escape (1963)
Amadeus (1984)
On the Waterfront (1954)
Touch of Evil (195
The Elephant Man (1980)
The Prestige (2006)
Vita è bella, La [Life Is Beautiful] (1997)
Jaws (1975) (Nope. I've never seen it. Sue me.)
The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
The Sting (1973)
Strangers on a Train (1951)
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
The Apartment (1960)
City Lights (1931)
Braveheart (1995)
Cinema Paradiso (198
Batman Begins (2005)
The Big Sleep (1946)
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
Once Upon a Time in America (1984)
Blade Runner (1982)
The Great Dictator (1940)
The Wizard of Oz (1939)
Notorious (1946)
Salaire de la peur, Le [The Wages of Fear](1953)
High Noon (1952)
Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983) (But not because of the damn Ewoks!)
Fargo (1996) (I just DO NOT GET what was so great about this movie.)
The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)
Unforgiven (1992)
Back to the Future (1985)
Ran (1985)
Oldboy (2003) (I actually wanted to shower after watching this, if that gives you any indication how gross it is. Not recommended. AT ALL.)
Million Dollar Baby (2004)
Cool Hand Luke (1967)
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Donnie Darko (2001)
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
The Green Mile (1999)
Annie Hall (1977)
Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)
Gladiator (2000)
The Sixth Sense (1999)
Diaboliques, Les [The Devils] (1955)
Ben-Hur (1959)
It Happened One Night (1934)
The Deer Hunter (197
Life of Brian (1979)
Die Hard (198
The General (1927)
American Gangster (2007)
Platoon (1986)
V for Vendetta (2005)
Judgment at Nuremberg (1961)
The Graduate (1967)
The Princess Bride (1987) ("Have fun stormin' the castle!")
Crash (2004/I) (Tried to watch this. Way too pretentious for my tastes.)
The Wild Bunch (1969)
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
Letters from Iwo Jima (2006)
Heat (1995)
Gandhi (1982)
Harvey (1950)
The Night of the Hunter (1955)
The African Queen (1951)
Stand by Me (1986)
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
Witness for the Prosecution (1957)
The Big Lebowski (199
The Conversation (1974)
Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
Wo hu cang long [Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon ] (2000)
The Grapes of Wrath (1940)
Gone with the Wind (1939)
3:10 to Yuma (2007)
Cabinet des Dr. Caligari., Das [The Cabinet of Dr Caligari] (1920)
The Thing (1982)
Groundhog Day (1993)
The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)
Sleuth (1972)
Patton (1970)
Toy Story (1995)
Glory (1989)
Out of the Past (1947)
Twelve Monkeys (1995)
Ed Wood (1994)
Spartacus (1960)
The Terminator (1984)
In the Heat of the Night (1967)
The Philadelphia Story (1940)
The Exorcist (1973)
Frankenstein (1931)
Anatomy of a Murder (1959)
The Hustler (1961)
Toy Story 2 (1999)
The Lion King (1994)
Big Fish (2003)
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (199
Bonnie and Clyde (1967)
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Magnolia (1999)
A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)
In Cold Blood (1967)
RosemaryÂ’s Baby (196
Dial M for Murder (1954)
All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)
Roman Holiday (1953)
A Christmas Story (1983)
Casino (1995)
Manhattan (1979)
Ying xiong [Hero] (2002)
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) (Call me crazy, but these films are lacking what most people would call "a plot.")
Rope (194
Cinderella Man (2005) (Even though Renee Z. is in this film, and she is HIGHLY annoying with that cloying New Jersey accent that just makes you want to wash out your ears after hearing, this film is still pretty good. I just wish they would have marketed differently. There was no need to see it after they blew the ending in the commercials and the trailers)
The Searchers (1956)
Finding Neverland (2004) (Cried buckets. Freddie Highmore is one gifted kid. His performance is astounding.)
Inherit the Wind (1960)
His Girl Friday (1940)
A Man for All Seasons (1966)
Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962)

Posted by: Kathy at 06:28 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 1107 words, total size 8 kb.

Because I've got nothing right now. I just got back from working out and I'm waiting for that much ballyhooed energy boost (!) to kick in. Which means it won't, probably.

The Privilege Meme

Premise: bold each of the statements that applies.
Original source: The list is based on an exercise developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University. The exercise developers ask that if you participate in this blog game, you acknowledge their copyright.

Father went to college

Father finished college

Mother went to college---Mother didn't even finish high school. But that doesn't mean she's not a smart cookie.

Mother finished college

Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor

Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers

Had more than 50 books in your childhood home

Had more than 500 books in your childhood home

Were read children's books by a parent

Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18---Not because my parents weren't willing to shell out for them, oh, who am I kidding? They wouldn't because I was the eighth kid and they didn't want to bother with paying for something I'd probably quit anyway.

Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18

The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively

Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18

Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs---HA! I wish!

Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs

Went to a private high school Does it make me privileged if I was the one who paid for it?

Went to summer camp

Had a private tutor before you turned 18---No, but I didn't really need one, either. You know, if you're not counting fourth and fifth grade math, when Miss Benda ruled my after school hours. God Rest Her Soul, but she was not a nice woman.

Family vacations involved staying at hotels For, like, a night on the way to someplace or on the way back.

Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18

Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them---No, but I did pretty much have free reign of my mother's LeBaron when I was the last kid left at home.

There was original art in your house when you were a child

Had a phone in your room before you turned 18---I wish.

You and your family lived in a single family house

Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home---they would have had certain things not gone horribly awry.

You had your own room as a child From age twelve on. Before that, well, there wasn't enough room to do so.

Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course---I don't even think they had SAT/ACT prep courses when I took the ACT.

Had your own TV in your room in High School---Nope, but had one down the hall in the spare bedroom that I hogged aplenty. It was easier to watch MTV there and not get busted for it.

Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College

Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16

Went on a cruise with your family

Went on more than one cruise with your family

Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up---King Tut at age five was just the beginning.

You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family---I just knew that they were A LOT and it was in my best interest to keep the bills down by wearing sweaters.

I suppose, by this, it doesn't look as if I was privileged when I was growing up. But I was. I had a home, a family that loved me, and a good education, even if I had to pay for it. And that's all you really need when it comes right down to it.

{ht: Phoenix}

Posted by: Kathy at 01:00 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 699 words, total size 4 kb.

And what better way to do that than with a meme!

Take the jump if you're interested in some "serious" Q&A time.

{Filched, per usual, from Robbo} more...

Posted by: Kathy at 11:31 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 1954 words, total size 11 kb.

You Are Kermit

Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know. You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems. Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green. Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!

{Hat Tip: Animal}

Posted by: Kathy at 08:38 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 62 words, total size 1 kb.

Quality filler swiped from Sheila...read on after the jump if you're interested. more...

Posted by: Kathy at 11:01 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 1298 words, total size 8 kb.

Well, I wouldn't like to think I was average at anything, but we shall have to see if that is true. The theory behind this meme I stole from you know who is that these are things that the average American does or has. I've struck the ones that do not apply.

• Eats peanut butter at least once a week
• Prefers smooth peanut butter over chunky- well, doesn't everyone?
• Can name all Three Stooges- yeah, but it's not like I enjoy having that information rattling around in my brain.
• Lives within a 20-minute drive of a Wal-Mart -Without traffic. If it's at rush hour, well, it's off 494 by the Mall of Gomorrah and it's a bitch to get to. Besides, it's located in the hood and you'd have to pay me serious money to go there.
• Eats at McDonaldÂ’s at least once a year-I would say that's probably about right. The only time we ever eat at McDonalds is when we're roadtripping somewhere. When the husband and I lived in Des Moines, because it wasn't a bustling Metropolis, we left town for the weekend quite a bit. Des Moines is intersected by I-35, which goes north-south, and I-80, which runs east-west. As a result of our constant mid-90's roadtrips, I am able to tell you, in every direction on those two interstates, where every McDonald's is located.
• Takes a shower for approximately 10.4 minutes a day- If not longer because I'm doing super secret GIRL stuff in the shower.
• Never sings in the shower

• Lives in a house, not an apartment or condominium I wish this weren't the case.
• Has a home valued between $100,000 and $300,000
• Has fired a gun- Don't want to, either, because they scare the hell out of me. That doesn't mean I'm going to begrudge someone else, though.
• Is between 5 feet and 6 feet tall- -5'6"

• Weighs 135 to 205 pounds -like I'm going to announce that on the internet. Pfft. We'll just say it's closer to the lower end of the scale.
• Is between the ages of 18 and 53
• Believes gambling is an acceptable entertainment option- but surprisingly enough, I have absolutely NO desire to rush right off to Vegas
• Grew up within 50 miles of current home-it's a little over 400 miles away

Posted by: Kathy at 09:44 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 387 words, total size 3 kb.

Let's do a little meme-ing. Music meme-ing, no less. Courtesy of Doug, we have this lovely meme: take the list from the year you graduated from high school then strike the songs you hate, bold the ones you love, and the ones left over are the ones you supposedly couldn't care less about.

Okedokey. I graduated in 1989. If you're interested, take the jump. more...

Posted by: Kathy at 05:40 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 971 words, total size 7 kb.

I KNEW it! HA!

Rosalind Russell You scored 21% grit, 38% wit, 28% flair, and 19% class!

You are one wise-cracking lady, always quick with a clever remark and easily able to keep up with the quips and puns that come along with the nutty situations you find yourself in. You're usually able to talk your way out of any jam, and even if you can't, you at least make it more interesting with your biting wit. You can match the smartest guy around line for line, and you've got an open mind that allows you to get what you want, even if you don't recognize it at first. Your leading men include Cary Grant and Clark Gable, men who can keep up with you. Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the Classic Leading Man Test.

{hat tip: Clark GableDoug}

Posted by: Kathy at 12:45 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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From Sheila and Ith: List five quirks/idiosyncrasies of yours.

Allrighty Then.

1. When I'm coding stuff in HTML for the blog, if I open a tag in lowercase letters, I must always close the tag in lowercase letters. It's the same if I open the tag in capital letters. I will actually go back and change this---even though there's no need to---because the non-uniformity of it drives me batty.

2. Personal products. I am brand loyal to the point of insanity. Even if there's a better product out there, I won't switch over, no matter how many times someone praises a product. Just won't happen. Now, in certain instances, this is justified, because, for instance, there is no better lotion out there than Lubriderm. There just isn't. But, for other things, there's no rational reason for this. This particularly holds true for hair care products. I've been using the same shampoo and conditioner and styling product for, oh, about three or four years now. (In the case of the Aveda Anti-Humectant I use to control frizzies, I've been using that for seven years) I'm LEERY about switching anything up, because that might mean something very bad will happen. When I find something that works, I'm a happy camper. When someone discontinues something that I love (like my old Estee Lauder moisturizer) I practically go postal on the well-coiffed sales rep.

3. I will stay up late, even if I'm exhausted, just because I can. I'm an adult now. No one tells me when to go to bed! I feel like I'm letting down all the little kids who want to stay up late if I take a header before midnight. I'm a grownup...I can STAY UP AS LATE AS I WANT TO! Hence proving to the masses of children out there that there are benefits to adulthood.

This, of course, drives the husband to distraction, because, go figure, he actually likes falling asleep with me.

4. Speaking of bed. I must have my side of the bed, no matter what bed we're sleeping on. If we're sleeping in the twin beds at my parents house (they still apparently don't want any funny business going on in their spare room) I will take the bed that corresponds to the side of the bed I always sleep on. I also will rub my feet together until I fall asleep. I don't even realize that I do this anymore. This comes from living in a drafty old house when I was growing up and having a natural aversion to sleeping with socks on. Then I moved to Minnesota and started wearing socks in the winter. There was no getting around it. I still rub my feet together because, even with the socks, they get very cold.

5. It queers my deal to do laundry in a different order than normal. You see, first it's the whites, then the sheets and towels, then the warm load of clothes, then the cold load of clothes. It's a pretty simple system, and it works well, if you ask me. You get the sock folding business over with at the beginning, so there's no excuse for not sorting the socks. This also ensures the sheets and towels are washed and replaced before we go to bed. But if the husband needs his jeans washed because he spilled something on them, and he needs them right away, this queers my deal. I don't like washing single items of clothing, because it's a waste of water, but more importantly, it's fucking with the order of things!

Anyway. There's my weirdness, out for all to see. Enjoy!

Posted by: Kathy at 02:41 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 617 words, total size 4 kb.

From Miss Sheila, because this is The Cake Eater Chronicles: we're all about the quality filler!

What I was doing 10 years ago: Geez. What was I doing ten years ago? Hmmmm. It's hazy, but I was in Des Moines at that point in time. I worked. I went out. We moved into the last apartment we would live in that Bad Mojo town. The husband and I enjoyed the last of the newlywed sex before our first anniversary that August. You know, the regular.

Five years ago: Oh, the summer from hell. This I remember. The husband was back in Kuwait. Briefly. He'd been there for most of the spring and had returned for about a month. Then he left again. I was unemployed because he'd told me to quit my job as we would be moving there soon. I just had to wait out the time in between. Everything very slowly went to hell with the Kuwait move, and my sweetie was stuck in the middle east in the middle of summer---when anyone who has any sense in their head leaves because it's so freakin' hot---watching all his hopes and dreams crumble around him because of some ambitious backstabbers. He spent a miserable thirtieth birthday alone and I cried because all I could do was tell him happy birthday over the phone. (Not like he knew it then, but I suppose he knows it now. I made up for it the next year by taking him skydiving.) Every day was yet another adventure in hearing about the possibilities of the trip, but wondering about how this one prick would sabotage them next. He finally got back to the states and the cheap-asses had only paid for a ticket into Chicago. I had to borrow money to get him a plane ticket into town because the bastards hadn't paid him what they owed him.

On the upside, this is the summer I finally started writing. I banged out a little novel during his absence, just to see if I could do it. (Yes. I was that bored.) It sucked rocks and I cringe when I read it now (I keep meaning to torch it, but I keep forgetting.) but I still love how I feel when I write, so one day, it will happen.

One year ago: Pretty much the same thing as now. Not much has changed.

Yesterday: I woke up to a wonderful breeze blowing through the apartment. The husband had turned off the AC and had opened up the house. It was almost chilly, which was nice after all the heat. I power walked around the lake, where there were whitecaps because it was so windy. Then I washed the linen and cleaned the house in anticipation of the mother-in-law's visit last night. I cooked part of a pork tenderloin (rubbed with salt, pepper, and rosemary. I cut holes in the fat and stuffed chopped garlic into it. Mmmmm), steamed broccoli, made rice and a salad. Then I sat down and had dinner with my mother-in-law and the husband. When she left I walked down to Walgreens to get a pack of smokes under the light of the almost-full moon, a nice cool breeze floating around me. It was lovely.

Last night, it actually dropped below sixty-degrees and I slept like a rock. The husband said I snored. {Insert blush here} Usually that's his department.

Five snacks I enjoy: I'm not really a big snack person, but here goes... Saltines, 100,00 bars, fudgsicles, cheese (any sort, really. I love cheese.) and Carr's water crackers.

Five songs I know all the words to:

Say Goodbye---Dave Matthews Band
Vienna and Scenes From an Italian Restaurant---Billy Joel (I love The Stranger album.)
Where The Streets Have No Name---U2
INXS---Mediate (It's "Pretty Kate Has Sex Ornate" just in case you were wondering.)

Five Things I would do with $100 million: Not like I've thought about it a lot, but I would...
a. Buy a private island.
b. Go to the highest point on said island, plant a flag in the soil and declare that I'm calling this bit o' land the Republic of Kathyland
c. Hire good lawyers and acquire sovereignty and US/UN recognition for Kathyland. (If the Vatican can do it, so can I. If I do it right, I won't need guns.)
d. Build a data haven in the basement of Kathyland. (Income, kids. Income. Lots of income.)
e. Buy a really sweet throne with built in masssage features from where I might benevolently rule Kathyland for the rest of my days.

Five locations I would like to run away to:

London. The Redneck Riviera. (And, no, that would not be the one in France.) Dubai. The Maldives. Anywhere with a beach, really.

Five things I like doing:

Walking around the lakes, reading, writing, having coffee with Mr. H., staring out the window at the birds and the flowers. The world really is lovely, you just have to take the time to look at it.

Five bad habits I have: Smoking. I bite my lip when I read books. (Don't ask me why, I've done it for as long as I can remember.) I rub my palms together all the freakin' time. I slouch (although, I'm getting better about this since I started Pilates.). I have issues with finishing things I've started.

Five things I would never wear: Hot pants. Anything Versace. A muumuu. A tube top. Bowling shoes outside of a bowling alley.

Five TV shows I like: House, Lost, the original CSI, McCleod's Daughters (totally addicted! the shame of it!), and currently Bridezillas, because I love seeing brides go bat shit loco over flower arrangements and the like. It's good fun.

Five favorite toys: the laptop, aka Wee Bastard, my Braun handblender (Best. Wedding. Present. EVER. Thanks Mr. and Mrs. Heenan!), the DirecTV, the DVD player, and my digital camera.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:18 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I've been hit again---twice---in the meme department.

If you're interested, take the jump! more...

Posted by: Kathy at 02:25 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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From Madame Sadie

Five Things I Miss From My Childhood

1. The Ding Dong Man: Now, I'm sure this sounds obscene to your adultified ears---either that or you have a serious Hostess problem---but the dude we affectionately called "The Ding Dong Man" is, in all reality, a guy who drove an ice cream truck around the neighborhood. That was just our nickname for him. He drove through the neighborhood just about every day, right around three o'clock. Methinks he was pretty crafty, knowing what time all the wee ones would be waking up from their naps. He also cunningly coordinated his timing with what could be considered the Industry Standard for snack time for the older kids in our neck of the woods. Two birds: one stone. Now, Mom was kind of a stickler in this department and only let us indulge in his treats every so often, but there was nothing better than a bomb pop when she would.

2. Happy Hollow: If you look at a map of Omaha you'll see that, near the vast expanse of Memorial Park, there is a street called Happy Hollow. Well, this isn't what I'm referring to, even though it's less than a mile from the old homestead and I used to cross it every day on the way to school. One of the perks of the bank presidency my dad held were a couple of country club memberships, and one of them was to Happy Hollow. Happy Hollow was, at that point in Omaha's development, out in what we mid-city residents considered to be the middle of nowhere. Now, however, most people consider where Happy Hollow resides to be midtown. During the summers, Mom would tell us relatively early in the morning if a trip to the club was on tap for the day. And, if it was, my sister and I were dumped into a state of heightened anticipation. I believe Mom scheduled these trips to west Omaha based on if anything interesting was happening on her "story" that day, but I'll never know unless she fesses up. Her "story" (and, yes, this is what she STILL calls it) is more commonly known as As The World Turns. If, as I suspect, nothing interesting was happening that day, we'd go right after lunch. If something was, well, we'd have to wait until afterwards. I remember the trip out to the club always taking FOREVER. I would finally feel a sense of relief when I could see the Witherspoon mansion. Across the street there was another mansion---I can't remember their name, but I'm sure the Omaha contingent will provide it when they read this---and attached to the mansion was a large field where the owner's horses ran free. Right after that field was a Sinclair station, which still stands at that corner, and that's where we turned left to get to the club. There's now a shopping complex where that field used to be.

We loved the club because the club had one big ass swimming pool and lots of kids. It also had a high dive, which made it infinitely better than Field Club, which was closer to where we lived and was the other club we belonged to, but where there was only a regular height diving board and if you wanted to use it, you were jumping right into the fray because the pool was small. At Happy Hollow, they had the diving area roped off to swimmers. Pure class. Christi and I were pool connosieurs at that point in time and nothing was better, in our humble opinion, than Happy Hollow.

One summer, when my mom was busy planning my brother's wedding and didn't have time to come to the pool with us, she'd drop us off right when the pool opened, we'd swim, we'd have lunch---they had a little grill shack that served the best hamburgers---then we'd swim some more, we'd have a Hostess blueberry or cherry pie for a snack and then we'd swim until our Dad would come to pick us up after work. Sometimes, if we were really lucky, Dad would want to go back to the club after dinner for more swimming. YIPPEEE! It was heaven for an eleven-year old fish like myself. This whole arrangement worked rather well until Dad freaked when he got the grill tab. Yikes, was he ever pissed off.

I still remember our member number: 606Z. Mom and Dad don't belong anymore---the membership went the way of the Dodo when Dad was downsized---but there are times when I'm back in Omaha during the summer and I wonder if they'd boot me out if I went in there and put that code down on the sign-in sheet.

3. Old reruns of decent tee vee shows. When we got cable, we were introduced to the glories of The Carol Burnett Show, The Addams Family, The Munsters and the like. Nothing was funnier than old Carol Burnett episodes. My favorite moments were when they cracked themselves up. Whatever happened to Lyle Waggoner? Does anyone know? I have to think he's who George Hamilton stole the skin cancer-schtick from.

4. Video Games At the 7-11. Tis where I learned how to play Pac Man and Ms. Pac Man. Donkey Kong was included, as was that little bastard Q-Bert, Asteroids and Space Invaders. Frogger ruled, but the ultimate was Pole Position.

5. Riding my bike: It's just not the same thing when you're an adult. The heady sense of freedom just isn't there when you're a grownup and you sling your leg over the chassis. It's fun, don't get me wrong, but it means less.

The rules:

Remove the #1 item from the following list, bump everyone up one place and add your blog's name in the #5 spot. You need to link to actually link to each of the blogs for the link-whorage aspect of this fiendish meme to kick in.

No Government Cheese
Villainous Company
Pirate's Cove
Fistful of Fortnights
Cake Eater Chronicles

Next, select four unsuspecting victims, list and link to them. Get the plank ready.

Who to pick, who to pick? Hmmmmm. Well, of course, I must choose Robbo. Because he's all about the meme, just like moi. RP would probably have some lovely answers (and who, inspired by The Girl Child, hopes your summer tastes like pear. Which is as lovely a sentiment as I've heard lately.) as would Miss Margi, our newest addition to the divesque ladies (and because she always humors me when it comes to these things). Let's see, I need one more. Hmmmm. Who to pick? Hmmmm. Aha. The Blog Child. Because she's a sucker for memes and maybe this will get her mind off the morning sickness.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:52 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 1133 words, total size 7 kb.

1 Nothing used to make me laugh more than Carol Burnett. Just thinking about Tim Conway in the painting of the barn on fire.... And Mrs Wiggins! I work with a girl who is her soul mate. But no body gets the reference.

Posted by: Ith at June 08, 2005 01:10 AM (DCF12)

2 AHHHH YES. Mrs. Ah-Wiggins! Our whole family loves Carol Burnett. In fact, we all say "Oh no, Fluffy" in a fakee-British accent (when something has gone wrong) because of a Farkle Family skit.

Posted by: Margi at June 08, 2005 02:23 AM (nwEQH)

3 Aye, I hated that smug little Q-Bert!!!! Nice dissertation, Kathy;-) Kidding kidding....I've been a slacker lately and I'm projecting my lack of length...um, nevermind. What I'm trying to say is - Excellent posting!

Posted by: sadie at June 08, 2005 03:50 AM (zZMHN)

4 The old sketch where Tim Conway is going on about a disabled elephant is my favorite memory of the Carol Burnett show. He just keeps going further & further off topic, and the rest of the cast ended up rolling on the floor by the end of the sketch (I think it was a "Mama's Family" skit, but I'm not sure). Unfortunately, I don't think many of today's shows are going to provoke these kinds of memories in a few decades. The old convenience store in Winterset (it's a Kum & Go now) used to have a "Galaga" game next to the door. I probably spent a semester's tuition at ISU (in-state) honing my skills at killing alien bug spaceships.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at June 08, 2005 09:00 AM (6krEN)

5 I loved your answers, Kathy. Thanks for asking me to play. Mine will go up in a little bit. Look for the trackback!

Posted by: RP at June 08, 2005 09:13 AM (LlPKh)

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...so here's one I swiped from Random Pensees.

And I'm not typing any long, involved essays that none of you will bother to read anyway until my hand is healed up. When that time arrives, I'll go for it, and we can get on with business as usual, me writing, you people ignoring. Until then, however, you'll have to deal with stuff I can post without my hand hurting.

If you're interested, you know where to find my lack of self-control. more...

Posted by: Kathy at 11:39 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 1195 words, total size 7 kb.

Ooooh.

Spooooooky. I was just chatting with Jonathan about this the other day. His preference is for Vanity Fair's Proust Questionnaire. (He doesn't think he'll ever be tapped for it. I think he will.) Mine is for this one. How handy is it that it suddenly appeared, eh?

1. What is your favorite word?

onomatopoeia

2. What is your least favorite word?

c**t (I *HATE* that word. And if you don't know which word I'm referring to, well, know that the Brits use it quite a bit, but we American women hate it. That should give you a clue.)

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

conversation, reading, simply paying attention to the little things, debate, friendship, love

4. What turns you off?

selfishness, endless rationalization, addiction, looking down one's nose at other people for no good reason.

5. What is your favorite curse word?

m*therf**ker (I don't use it very often, but it is just so good in its nastiness)

6. What sound or noise do you love?

an orchestra tuning their instruments and warming up

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

a lawnmower at seven a.m. on a Sunday morning

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Something where I'd be well-paid but wouldn't have to work a lot. Hmmmm. I know! I'll be an actor!

9. What profession would you not like to do?

garbage person, mortician

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Oh, good you're here. You look somewhat surprised. You were expecting, perhaps, something different? Well, I know, but you're such a lively person, we couldn't have you spending all that time in Purgatory, so come on in and put your feet up. You've earned it!

Posted by: Kathy at 10:28 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Yep. It's that time. I got hit by the Daring Diva with a meme. She has charged me with the vital mission of "going forth and creating havoc." I doff my floppy, feathered hat in her direction and proclaim, while bowing before her greatness, that I shall humbly try do my best. (And no, I'm not going to freakin' curtsey. Bleh. The General Rule states you do not get to wear floppy, feathered hats if you're a chick. So, I'd probably pull a Twelfth Night sort of deal so I could wear the floppy feathered hat. But I'm pretty sure I'd skip the whole mistaken romance thing. Bleh. Who needs that?)

If I could be a scientist... I would try and cure all the bastard diseases out there. These are also called "orphan" diseases. That would be the more politically correct way of stating it, although I think "bastard disease" is more accurate because they treated like bastard children used to be treated...poorly. They don't affect enough people for it to be worth it, monetarily speaking, for pharmaceutical companies/research universities to devote time and resources for finding a cure. I'd particularly would like to cure this one so that my wee niece Maggie doesn't have to deal with people staring at her and then saying, loudly, "Good God! What is wrong with that kid? She has spots!"

People are so fucking cruel sometimes. And I'm not talking about kids here, I'm talking about stupid grownups who don't have the good sense to shut their pie holes, and who point and stare, treating her like she's a freak show, and then complete the cycle of their idiocy by asking my sister the most inane questions in the world, instead of looking past her skin and treating Maggie like she was the coolest little girl in the world. Which she is, by the way. If you think that in this country we're past judging someone by their skin, you're really, really wrong.

/angry

If I could be a musician...I'd try to weasel my way into any number of bands, the first and foremost of which would be The Foo Fighters, because I have to think that Dave Grohl is fun to hang with.

If I could be a painter...I'd be high all the time because I'd be huffing the paint thinner. I'd have to think the art I'd create under such circumstances would be critically acclaimed, even though I probably don't have an ounce of artistic talent in me. The critics smile on paint-thinner huffers.

If I could be a chef... I'd stage a coup at The French Laundry. I would take over, claiming that I was just taking back what was mine. That Thomas Keller had, indeed, stolen all my recipes and was making a fortune off of them, so I was just doing what needed to be done. Then I'd continue running the place just like he does.

If I could be a linguist... I'd finally be able to be as rude as some people have been to me and would be able to say nasty things about other people without said people cottoning onto the fact that, indeed, I'm saying nasty things about them. Right in front of them. Because they're clueless.

If I could be a bonnie pirate...I'd sail the seven seas, in search of adventure. I'd enjoy whipping out my cutlass, ramming ships, stealing loot, and talking like a pirate. "ARRRRRRGGGGHHHH! Swab the decks, ye scurrilous scabbies!" See? That would be fun.

If I could be a psychologist... I'd tell people to look beyond their childhood for the source of all their problems. I'd also tell people to give their kids a firm whack on the behind when they've earned it, because it's not going to scar their wee ones for life.

Ok, that's enough havoc wreaking for one day.

Time to pass on the meme, so here's how it works. Following there is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you). Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three fine bloggers.

Here's that list:
If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a backup dancer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a midget stripper...
If I could be a proctologist...

Three bloggers to pass this on to. Hmmmm. Who shall I pick?

Ok. I'm going to tag Sheila, The Puffster, and Jonathan, because I don't think he's ever participated in a meme before and it's high time that he did.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:41 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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When it comes to this sort of thing. Sigh. Swiped from TeaFizz, who also has their own post on yesterday's Demystifying Diva topic that you should go read.

If you're interested in the meme du jour, read on after the jump. more...

Posted by: Kathy at 02:39 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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At last! I am done with the Interview Game meme!

In case you can't be bothered to scroll down because you have a lazy finger or something, know that Rich has answered my questions, quite marvelously, too.

Go and read.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:15 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Last but not least. We have arrived at my final victim interviewee, Rich of Seldom Sober.

Last summer, Rich embarked on a cross-country move. He decided that instead of having to find a motel room every night, he would instead plan his trip around the invites of hospitable bloggers. He called this project Blogs Across America and Glenn wouldn't give him one bloody insty-link to promote it. But he's not bitter about it. Anyhoo, he stayed here at the Cake Eater Pad on a rainy summer evening, and despite my promises of going and stalking Lileks, we wound up staying in and drinking lots of gin. A good time was had by all, but I had one mother of a hangover the next day.

So, to complete the game, Rich will answer my questions, I will linkie back to them when he's got them done AND he will need to include the rules in his post, so he can grill five of his own commenters, hence continuing the meme.

Here we go.

1. You are a poet, which is a rare thing in this day and age. What does poetry provide you with? Who are your poetry idols? And why haven't you coughed up my "albatrossy" poem?

2. During your BAA trip, you had the opportunity to meet up with Jeff Goldstein and Martini Boy---and even stayed at Martini Boy's house. Are there any stories you neglected to mention then that you'd like to relieve your soul of now? Confession being good for the soul and all.

3. In haiku format please define the differences between your old neighbors on the west coast and your new neighbors on the east coast.

4. You have received a classical education. What do you think this has given you and how has it prepared you for the future?

5. Explain where the title of your blog comes from. Do you have a favorite type of booze, or will any old swill do?

I'll update when Rich posts his answers.

UPDATE: Rich has answered all. And quite marvelously, too.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:04 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Phoenix, after having some issues with Blogger eating her posts, has finally posted the answers to her questions.

Go and read my children, and get to know my kid better.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:21 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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