Once again, Dr. Rusty's got the goods on the four hostages taken in Iraq.

Go and check it out.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:40 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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So, we really didn't do much over the weekend. We watched a few movies, both of which could have been better. I made a pot of chili on Saturday night---turned out wonderfully, thanks for asking---and on Sunday afternoon, the husband decided he had a boatload of paperwork to do (he'd been avoiding it) so I decided to go down to Barnes and Noble and see what I could do about blowing the ill gotten gains a/k/a gift cards I'd received for my birthday.

Of course, given my luck, this turned out to be a bad decision.

Now, undoubtedly you're wondering why this was a bad decision. You're thinking that perhaps with the upcoming Christmas shopping season the place was overloaded with holiday shoppers or that the sales staff wasn't being friendly enough, or that perhaps there had been some obnoxious fellow customer who'd ruined the experience for me. In reply, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, I would have to tell you that it was a combination of things that made this an unpleasant shopping experience.

Those and the fact that Jimmy Effin' Carter had decided to have a book signing in that particular Barnes and Noble.

Of all the book stores, in all the world, he had to walk into mine! The bastard!

You see, ever since we descended into Entrepreneurial Hell (TM), I don't get to go and spend money at the bookstore very often. And I miss that. Wandering around a bookstore for hours on end is one of my favorite things to do in this world. I love it. I get a thrill around books. You can walk me into a library and for a split second I'll stand there and let chills run up my spine. There is so much possibility when it comes to entering a book house. It doesn't matter whether it's a bookstore or a library or a friend's house where they have shelf after shelf loaded with books, all of these places signal possibilities---and people who like possibilities--- to me. You have no idea what you could find in those books. You have no idea how you could be enlightened by those books, or, when it comes to a home library, how you could be enlightened by the people who own those books. And that enlightenment creates a sort of awe and wonder in me.

In other words, I treat books the way some people treat the rainforest: there's probably a cure for cancer in there, somewhere, we just haven't stumbled upon it yet.

So, you'll perhaps understand that I enjoy shopping for books. The experience for me is akin to fine dining, or enjoying a particularly nice glass of single malt scotch with a cigar. There pleasure derived from in the act itself and there is also pleasure derived simply because you've done it right. It's one of the finer things in life for me. And, while it's horribly selfish of me to admit this, I just don't get the thrill of it all when budgetary constraints limit me. I know that sounds horrible, but would you go to a five-star restaurant if you were only able to pay for a breadstick? What's the point in that? So, when I'm broke I stay away from the bookstore and stick to the biblioteca. It's a system that works for me and that I'm accustomed to---except when I actually have money to spend, which is when I gear up for a trip to the bookstore, like I did yesterday. My birthday was two weeks ago. I've been holding on to the gift cards and have been waiting for a good moment to go and use them. I was savoring the anticipation of it all. And yesterday turned out to be that moment.

Until I actually got there...

...wherein I walked into the store and was accosted by two eager beaver Barnes and Noble employees, puffed up with their own self-importance, who asked, breathlessly, if I was there for President Carter's book signing. When I said, no, they sloughed me off like I was the dead skin on their loofah, and moved on, breathlessly excited, to the next person who'd walked through the door...who was, indeed, there for President Carter's book signing. As I stood there, taking off my gloves and hat, I, being the Gladys Cravitz that I am, listened to the schpiel. They were to go downstairs and someone would direct them to the end of the line. They were given a wristband the color of a yellow highlighter and were informed that there were no guarantees that President Carter would actually sign their books, it all depended on "how much he felt he up to doing." The very earnest lady on the receiving end of all this breathlessly relayed information, who looked like nothing so much as a Mrs. Potato Head in jersey knit and Clarks' clogs, nodded earnestly and waddled to the escalators, her copy of "Our Endangered Values: America's Moral Crisis," clutched tightly to her expanded universe-like bosom.

Have I mentioned this was at a little after two p.m.? Have I also mentioned that King Bubba the First wasn't expected until six p.m.? And that there were already forty some odd people in line by the time I got there?

Now, I'm not going to deny the moonbats a chance to see their bunny-rabbit fearing leader. I don't really care about that. What I do care about, however, is that the entire freakin' store was given over to this momentous occasion. To the exclusion of all else. The entire fiction section was littered with people who were lined up within the rows. If you tried to go and, God Help You, look for a book in that section you were shot nasty looks and, in one memorable exchange, accused of cutting in line. (Sha. As if!) Another section, upstairs, was entirely roped off as well. It looked to me as if they were preparing it for an extended queue but didn't want anyone in there, at all, until the line needed to be managed. As I passed that section, a book on one of the verboten shelves caught my eye. I wanted to look at it, but considering there were Cake Eater City cops and dogs from the Hennepin County Canine Unit posted nearby, I decided not to risk it. I asked a passing clerk if she would help me, and at which point said sales clerk had to forcibly restrain herself from rolling her eyes and said in an exasperated tone, "If you want something from there, why don't you come back tomorrow? We're a bit busy today," before storming off without extending an apology.

There is one rule of doing business that everyone should be aware of. And if you're not, you're probably bankrupt and you deserve to be so. Are you waiting with bated breath for me to tell you what this rule is, my devoted Cake Eater Readers? I'm sure you are, so I won't keep you in suspense any longer: NEVER MAKE IT DIFFICULT FOR CUSTOMERS TO GIVE YOU THEIR MONEY. While I would generally refer this rule when receiving slow service at a cash register---particularly with stores who only take certain kinds of credit cards, and who sneer at cash, etc.---the rule nonetheless can be boiled down to simply having merchandise you would like to sell. You do everything you can to facilitate sales, because, if you don't facilitate sales, ahem, you will be out of business.

Now, it may not be common knowledge, but book stores have events like these to drive traffic into their stores. These CRAZY managers are working under the utterly mad assumption that, hello!, the more people you have in the store, the greater the chances are you will sell stuff. Bring in a celebrity or two or maybe an ex-President of the United States of America and maybe, just maybe, you'll get an extra few hundred people to show up to purchase wares you just happen to sell, the lure of rubbing elbows with famous people a money-making charm like no other. So, while you'll sell more than a few copies of said famous person's book, you'll also sell a lot of magazines, newspapers, drinks and food from the in-store Starbucks, and especially important this time of year, Christmas presents---I'm sure you, my bright Cake Eater readers, can see that it would be very, very stupid to tell someone they should come back tomorrow instead of helping them today. When they're there, right there and then, with a gift card burning a hole in their pocket.

At that point, I took the one book I had in my hands, went to the cash register and checked out. I was asked if I had a discount card, and then when I said, no, I was asked if I wanted to purchase one. I said, no, again (and, honestly, people if you bought one of those you're, well, you're not a rocket scientist,are you? It's not really a discount if you're paying for it, is it? Like, duh.) and then she handed me my card and my bag and asked loudly if she could help the next customer in line. What did she miss, I ask you, my eager beaver, dying-to-learn-the-basics-of-customer-service Cake Eater Readers? That's right. You, like every five-year-old who's been taken down to DEFCON 1 on a manners alert exercise, caught that she didn't say thank you.

Way to go, Barnes and Noble at the Galleria. You should be really proud of your employees!

Posted by: Kathy at 01:46 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Particularly when it comes to the dubious information regarding secondhand smoke and the need for smoking bans. Well, kids, I hate to tell you this, but year-on-year sales numbers don't lie.

Keegan's Pub opened three and one-half years ago in the revitalized Old St. Anthony area of Minneapolis. For three years we met our financial projections before every level of government stepped in to put an end to it.

The Federal government forced the State to give us .08

The State government forced us to give a pay increase to our bartenders and servers, our highest paid employees.

Hennepin County gave us the smoking ban.

Minneapolis gave us a smoking ban and more costly and restrictive parking for our customers.

Now Hennepin County can recognize the economic hardship it has caused and act on it. Please do so!

For the first three months of 2005, our sales were up 8% over the same months in 2004. For the most recent three months our sales are down 7.5% compared to the same months in 2004. That is a swing of 15.5%. Although our percentage decrease is smaller than some, it represents the difference between profit and loss. We have not had a profitable month since April, and the trend is downward. October 2005 was 17% down from October 2004. Cold weather will only accelerate the trend as smokers will be less willing to smoke outside. Hence, they will go to locations where they can smoke inside.

{...}One final thought: The argument that non smokers will flock to our restaurants now that we are non smoking is totally bogus. Where are they?{...}

Just in case you're not familiar with the restaurant/bar biz, they make most of their money on liquor sales. The typical profit margin for liquor is, generally speaking, through the roof. That bottle of wine you purchased at the liquor store for $25.00? Well, the restaurant purchased the same bottle wholesale for $8.00---they'll charge $9.00 a glass and will get three and a half glasses out of that bottle. They made $23.50 in profit. One would hope that you're asking yourself, "where's the catch?" Well, here it is: liquor profits pretty much float everything else that's sold in a restaurant or a bar. Food sales aren't, generally speaking, all that profitable. The bottom line is quite clear: if you want a profitable restaurant, you want people to drink. It's pretty damn simple. That three hundred percent markup on booze has to pay the rest of the costs. Like labor. Someone has to pour that wine, after all. The industry average for labor is right around forty percent, and it is, generally speaking, the largest cost. Forty percent of that $23.50 is $9.40, which leaves you $14.10 for things like glassware, tables and chairs, food and liquor costs, rent, and of course, taxes. and there's not going to be that much left over, after that's all said and done. This, of course, is grossly simplified and it's just late enough that I'm not sure I'm doing the math properly, but I'm sure you get where I'm going with all of this.

This is why most bars and restaurants fail within the first year of operation. The margins are razor thin. And when sales of your most profitable item are down because the smokers, the people who buy that very profitable item, are going elsewhere, you'd better realize the jig is going to be up very very soon. 17%, kids. SEVENTEEN FREAKIN' PERCENT. That's huge. If I was still in the restaurant biz and I was the one who was facing those year-to year numbers, I'd be having a heartattack right about now.

Just go ahead and try and tell me the smoking ban isn't hurting bars and restaurants.

St. Anthony Main---where Keegan's is located---when I first moved to Cities, was a dump. The husband and I were down in that neck of the woods recently, and we commented that the only thing that used to be in that neighborhood, besides crack houses, was Surdyks. People have worked very hard and it is now a very nice, interesting part of the downtown Minneapolis scene. I would hate to see all of that progress just die because of the smoking ban.

If you're inclined to act, email the Hennepin County Board of Commisioners at
board.clerk@co.hennepin.mn.us

Posted by: Kathy at 11:27 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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In the great state of Minnesota, if you're charged with your second DWI within ten years, the DOT will impound your regular license plates and will issue you new plates. These plates are called "special registration plates" and identify you to all and sundry as someone whose car was involved in an alcohol-related offense. These plates all start with a "W" and, as such, are called "Whisky Plates." If you have these plates on your car, the police do not need probable cause to pull you over; the fact that you have the plates on your car is enough cause in itself, or so the Legislature would have you believe.

The husband and I have long wondered why the ACLU hasn't taken this one to court. After all these plates are a blatant violation of the Fourth Amendment protection against search and siezure without probable cause. One would think that since this is a pretty important violation of the Constitution, and, furthermore that since the ACLU is all about defending the Constitutional rights of the accused, if you'd put the two together, you'd have found a case worth fighting for. Unfortunately, this hasn't been the case. It's not popular to defend drunk drivers, and no one, but no one---including the ACLU---wants to get on the bad side of MADD, so they haven't touched these types of laws with a ten-foot pole.

Until Now. Why, you ask, are they getting involved now? Well, because the plates the great State of Florida would like to stick on drunk drivers are pink.

A Florida state senator wants to require convicted drunken drivers to have license plates that start with "DUI."

The proposed law would also require bright pink license plates on vehicles driven by people with restricted driving privileges due to convictions for driving under the influence.

"Maybe it will embarrass people and keep them from drinking and driving," State Sen. Mike Fasano said. "Maybe they'll think twice."

The bill also says police "may stop any vehicle that bears a DUI plate without probable cause to check the driver."

Ohio and Michigan have similar laws in place. Other states have debated the issue, but failed to pass it due to privacy reasons.

"Pink plates would hold out individuals for punishment as well as ridicule. We are very opposed to it," said Larry Spalding, legislative counsel for the
American Civil Liberties Union in Florida.{...}

So, it's not really about the Fourth Amendment violations for the ACLU. Civil rights have very little to do with it. It's about the fact that the proposed plates would be pink and would "hold out individuals for punishment as well as ridicule." That's a problem worthy of the ACLU's attention.

Yet again, it's no surprise why everyone and their mother thinks they're a worthless organization.

Posted by: Kathy at 02:35 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The only UN jerk-off shitcanned for participating in the Oil-For-Food Scandal has been reinstated by the UN.

Joseph Stephanides was fired on May 31 after a U.N.-appointed inquiry led by former U.S. Federal Reserve chairman Paul Volcker accused him of improperly steering an oil-for-food contract to a British firm.

The mid-level aide maintained he was acting on behalf of unnamed superiors in advising Lloyd's Register Inspection Ltd. to lower an open bid to win a contract.

A joint staff-management disciplinary panel reviewing his dismissal had recommended he be reinstated and given a written apology and two years' pay in damages.

Based on the review, Secretary-General Kofi Annan decided to rescind the dismissal and effectively restore four months of pay to Stephanides, who had been scheduled to retire in September.

But Annan rejected an apology and damages. "The secretary-general still maintains his position that Mr. Stephanides has violated the procurement rules," a U.N. official said.

{...}Annan, himself under attack for mismanagement of the Iraq oil-for-food program, dismissed Stephanides after Volcker's February 3 report. It accused him of colluding with Britain's then-U.N. ambassador, John Weston, by suggesting Lloyd's Register Inspection Ltd. would win a $4.5 million contract by lowering its bid.

While French firm Bureau Veritas was the low bidder, U.N. officials decided they could not select a French firm because they had recently given another contract to a French bank and hired a Frenchman as a U.N. oil overseer for the program, Volcker's report said.

Christopher Burnham, the U.N. undersecretary-general for management, said in a letter to Stephanides that he violated a U.N. requirement of impartiality by "advising the British Mission how much lower the Lloyd's bid needed to be."{...}

Hmmm. Now, there's something I'm finding curious in all of this: where's Stephanides' payola? How much did he get from Lloyd's---and where did he put it? Everyone else in this deal made some coin: there's no mention in the article of Stephanides' having received any cash. Never mind that Kojo Annan received $200K from a Swiss firm for steering Oil for Food business their way and his father hasn't been so much as slapped on the hand for it; never mind that Benon Sevon made some cash with oil payments, and he was allowed to resign; it's simply interesting to me that they would fire the one guy who didn't receive any cash for his efforts.

That really doesn't make much sense, does it?

Unless he's the patsy. Then it makes a whole lot of sense.

Hmmph. I don't know.

But I do know that I love that I just had the opportunity to use the word "patsy." I'm, like, all Oliver Stone-ish now with the conspiracy theory.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:41 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Martini Boy.

Now, shoo.

Posted by: Kathy at 09:38 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Fausta has put together an excellent roundup relating to the rioting in Paris and Birmingham.

Go enlighten yourselves.

And then start worrying that the toll of post-modernist sin has come due.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:06 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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