Just come out of the closet already. If you find you can't do that, well, stop preying on women who are still too enamored of the Vollyeball Scene in Top Gun to know that their Gaydars need to be recalibrated.

Oh, and learn how to act, too, while you're at it.

Posted by: Kathy at 09:32 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 Ditto! In fact ANY of the OTHER guys in Top Gun were WAY hotter than "The Cruise" Goose, Iceman, and Wolfman (minor character) were my favs

Posted by: cheri at April 28, 2005 01:14 PM (Bzhsa)

2 A moment of silence for Rick Rossovich's abs. {biting knuckle}

Posted by: Kathy at April 28, 2005 01:21 PM (RFVZA)

3 You see? It is because of stuff like THIS that I love you (well, this is just one of them, kay?). I have been saying "HE'S SOOOOO GAY" since "Risky Business." And I have been getting the "OHMIGOD NO!" commentary since that time. Wouldn't it be swell if he DID come out? Then I can send about a zillion "I TOLLLLLD YOUUUUU" e-mails. Meh.

Posted by: Margi at April 30, 2005 01:14 PM (lWAiX)

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...take this idiot out behind the barn and whupp his ass until he can't sit down for a week? Would that really be too much to ask?

According to StarWars.com, the saga's creator George Lucas told attendees at the fan convention Celebration III in Indianapolis Saturday that he is working on two "Star Wars"-related television projects after "Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith."

The first, "Clone Wars," actually exists as series of animated shorts on the Cartoon Network, but Lucas said it will be turned into a "3-D animated version full-series" 30 minutes in length.

But the surprise came with his announcement of a live-action spin-off series that will take place between movie Episodes III and IV.

At first, according to StarWars.com, Lucas said, "There's none of the main characters from I, II, and III" in the series, but stopped mid-sentence and said that "that's not exactly true now that I think about it." He concluded by saying it's hard to answer what will be in the show since it's a year away from going into production.

He added that a lot of issues from the films are connected, but you won't necessarily see a lot of the people that are connected," the site reported.{...}

The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles should be ringing a freakin' alarm bell right about now.

Posted by: Kathy at 02:22 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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...my name is Suzy Homemaker. You fucked up my coiffure. Prepare to die.

Posted by: Kathy at 06:26 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Dude, I do not even want to know.

Posted by: Kathy at 02:41 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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For the love of all that is good and holy.

Anyone who has watched movies on an airplane or on network TV has seen films that have been sanitized, so to say, by the removal of things like foul language, extreme gore or nudity. Generally speaking, though, film directors don't like altering their original artistic vision, which helps explain why cleaned-up versions of commercial movies are not routinely for sale at Blockbuster. They do exist, however, made possible by new technology and by companies that are responding to consumer demand for hit movies in a "family friendly" format. Hollywood is hopping mad. Put on your seat belt; it's going to be a bumpy ride.

{...}Good grief. What companies such as CleanFlix and FamilyFlix really do is buy DVDs of popular movies and make a second, cleaner, version. The buyer gets both copies, allowing the seller to claim that Hollywood has gotten full price for each original-movie sale and that the edited, or "backup," disc is protected by the doctrine of fair use in copyright law. Another company, ClearPlay, doesn't alter discs in any way. It creates coding that works with a special DVD player to filter--by skipping or muting--potentially objectionable parts of ordinary DVDs.

{...}The Family Movie Act (part of the Family Entertainment and Copyright Act), if it passes, may end one part of the brawl. It would effectively legalize the technology that ClearPlay uses. As the legislation's author, Rep. Lamar Smith (R., Texas), notes: "This is the electronic equivalent of using a remote control to mute the sound or fast-forward over objectionable material."

If you are worried about junior seeing a pair of b00bies in a movie, or being desensitized by too much violence, well, it perhaps you need this little reminder.

Ahem.

On every electronic device known to mankind there is an "Off" button. Use it. You might have to deal with a lot of lip, but it will ensure that your children are seeing what you want them to see and not making everyone else suffer in the meanwhile. It might also help you in your quest for cleaner material if you said "No," every now and again when junior/juniorette requests something you deem to be objectionable. After all, if you don't buy/rent a movie, Hollywood does not make money. This will force them to consider their options, because they're in business to make money. That's the free market at work, kids. If Hollywood deems there's a demand for something they're not supplying, well, they'll work their tight, little, liposuctioned asses off to provide it. In other words, stop expecting the government to parent your children, and learn how to do it yourself. Stop messing with other people's livelihoods because you can't be bothered to do this, ya dig?

This just pisses me off.

If you are so goddamned lazy that you need a DVD player that skips through objectionable content because you can't be bothered to fast forward through it, you are a waste of space. Get off my planet. Furthermore, that you would attempt to legislate your laziness, well, you deserve what you get the next time someone pulls a similar move. Because it will happen, kids. This is a slippery slope you're advocating. Censorship always is a slippery slope, because where the hell does it end? Pretty soon the choice is taken out of your hands and placed into someone else's.

Posted by: Kathy at 04:30 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I don't normally watch Channel 5 News. Hell, I don't generally watch any local news because I find it to be, for the most part, full of shit. But Wednesday night is ABC night at the Cake Eater Pad. You've got Lost, Alias and that new show, Eyes, so the husband and I are subjected to sitting in front of the tee vee for three hours at a pop every Wednesday night.

We're also subjected to Cyndy Brucato constantly plugging stories about whatever blew up in the Twin Cities today for the ten o'clock news. If you're lazy, I would ask you to please click on that link. See how that picture advertises her wares.

Then look at this.

This is how she looks every night of the week.

Aieeeeeee.

All I can say is that the woman is scary looking. I don't know who talked her into this harsh-ass makeover, but the insanity stops here. Lighten up, lady. Literally. Lighten your hair and ditch the Wednesday Addams eyeliner. You're scaring me. {Insert shudder here}

And while I'm on the subject of KSTP news: with all of the firings, Joe freakin' Schmit gets promoted? Joe "I'm a Suckup and I Don't Possess Even Half a Brain" Schmit remains gainfully employed? Explain that one to me, will ya? Oy.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:36 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Fidel's being obtuse again.

HAVANA - Cuban President Fidel Castro criticized President Bush's attendance at Pope John Paul II's funeral Friday as "hypocrisy" because of the pontiff's opposition to the war in Iraq, and he downplayed the pope's role in toppling communism in the former Soviet bloc.

U.S. officials "went to cry in the presence of John Paul II, who was so against war, who so condemned the world order imposed by that empire (the United States), who so condemned consumerism," Castro said in his speech Thursday. "How far will hypocrisy go in this world? In my opinion it's an insult to John Paul II's memory." {...}

But wait, it gets better. Fidel tries to hitch his star to John Paul II's.

{...} Praising the pope for his compassion for the poor, his anti-war politics and his rejection of a long-standing trade embargo against Cuba by the United States, Castro said he shared more similarities than differences with John Paul, and that it was religion, not politics, that shaped the pope's stand against communism.{...}

{Emphasis mine}

So basically, the way good ol' Fidel sees it, if the Pope hadn't been Catholic, he would have been a Communist.

{...}"It's true that the pope was very critical of communism," Castro said. "But he also became very critical of the capitalist system."

An impassioned Castro spoke at length about the pope's historic 1998 visit to the island, saying, "He did not come with the intention of destroying the (Cuban) revolution."

The Cuban leader downplayed John Paul's role in helping end communism in his native Poland and Eastern Europe, saying one man could not be credited with ending a political and economic system.

"If one day Cuban socialism comes crumbling down, no one is to blame except ourselves," he said.{...}

Finally! He speaketh some sense! But he must have been drunk when he said this, so it probably doesn't count.

Posted by: Kathy at 02:28 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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{Yawn. In an interested sort of way.}

Michael Moore is a big fat liar. And yes I do mean that in the metaphorical sense, although I could see where you'd think I was being literal.

I still think he needs to be rolled over by a gigantic wheel of brie, too.

{HT: Galley Slaves}

Posted by: Kathy at 01:31 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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{Clicket on image for larger. Unless you have Superman-like eyes and can read it perfectly already. Which leads one to wonder: why are you reading my blog when you could be out, looking around, and seeing what sort of underwear people are wearing with your X-Ray vision?}

SCOTT KURTZ RULES! Preach it, brother!

The story is here if you're interested. Which you should be, because it means no more "C is for Cookie." Cookies are now a "sometimes food."

As the self-proclaimed defender of all that is good and wonderful in this world, I have decided I need you, my devoted Cake Eater readers, to lend your assistance to ensure Cookie Monster's original vision is kept alive. Think of it as a sort of Fahrenheit 451 action, only with music instead of some book. I will need you to download it and then back it up to a very safe place. You will then need memorize the song and sing it often so we can keep it alive for our young ones. Or until Sesame Street comes to its senses and decides to relocate out of New York City.

You can find the regular version here. And if the funk is running through your veins this afternoon, well, here's the disco version.

Posted by: Kathy at 02:27 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Fight the powers that be!

Woot!

/sarcasm /channeling Public Enemy

Some choice quotes on the repression of women in the blogosphere:

{...} But, one aspect of blogging Lauter finds disheartening is its coverage in mainstream media as an adult male political phenomenon.

“We are seeing more focus in mass media on blogs that are created by men. When in fact, the statistics show that more women are blogging than men,” Lauter said. {...}

Lauter said she believes the disparity in media coverage is a reflection of our society’s values. “I think that gets at another kind of inequity in terms of value. Valuing some of these blogs that are more political, more business-oriented, and privileging them over other kinds of blogs that may not be as edgy. A privileging of socially constructed ‘male issues’ over ‘women’s issues,’” said Lauter.

And male bloggers are helping to reinforce that privilege. Clancy Ratliff, a Ph.D. student at the University of Minnesota who is researching blogs, found that the most popular male bloggers rarely include women bloggers on their blogroll—a list of weblinks to other blogs the author visits and references frequently.

RatcliffÂ’s pilot study found that on the top 10 blogs defined by Technorati, a search engine that tracks more than 7 million blogs, just 16 percent of blogrolls provide links to female bloggers. Men are linking with men.

Some of the reasons for the male bias may harken back to more traditional forms of communication, Ratcliff said.

“I think it is kind of a self-perpetuating mechanism where male bloggers see all the op-ed pieces by men about foreign policy and blog about that,” said Ratliff. She said she feels the lack of women in the newsroom contributes to this disparity both in the real world and online, and helps to marginalize the issues women are blogging about. “A lot of times women’s issues like reproductive rights are not as often treated as serious political issues like the war in Iraq,” Ratliff said. {...}

{empahsis mine}

Please. For the last time. There is no lack of diversity in the blogosphere. I am sick to effin' death of reading this crap already. Let's air some things out:

• There are women in the blogosphere. We write. About any number of things. As do the men. It's all about the content, baby, and not really about who's writing it. Now that's gender equality!
• The fact that we have vaginas and tits does not mean Vodkapundit and Insty and the rest of the big dogs are repressing us. All it means is that we haven't taken over. Yet. And all we'd have to do is schedule the Great American Flash-O-Rama and we'd win. Hands down. Now there's some feminism for ya!
• Susan Estrich needs to be bitchslapped for starting this whole brouhaha off. And I'm just the bitch to do it.
• If you treat me like an effin' victim one more time, Farrah Fawcett ala The Burning Bed will have nothin' on my wrath.
• Have I mentioned that I'm not being repressed because The Cake Eater Chronicles is not in the top 100?
• I am however in the top thousand. So you can go ahead and bite me.
• Men are free to link to whomever they damn well want to link. I, too, am free to link whomever I want to link. That's called "Hyperlink Justice" in Cake Eater Lingo. I link things I find interesting. If I don't find your stuff interesting, I won't link you. Conversely, if someone doesn't find my stuff interesting, they are under no obligation to link to it just because I possess a (fabulous) pair of breasts

Get off this goddamn topic already, would you? It's a waste of time because it misses the goddamn point. To quote a marvelous female blogger:

{...}First and foremost I am a writer. That the content that makes up The Cake Eater Chronicles comes from a female shouldn't have anything to do with the validity of the opinions presented. They either have merit or they do not. It's quite simple. The blogosphere is all about ideas and opinions. It's a veritable smorgasbord. There's something for everyone. The sex of the author shouldn't come into the equation unless we're talking about things directly related to our sex---like tampons or jock straps. To miss this point is to miss the exact essence of the blogosphere. And the internet, for that matter.

Now, go and read what Doug and the MAWB have to say about all of this.

See also: Red and Sadie

Posted by: Kathy at 12:03 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Oh, good grief.

They believe in free love and multiple relationships, but not casual sex - and enjoy feeling "frubbly".

As a group they practise "polyamory" - the latest social phenomenon to cross the Atlantic to Britain, psychologists heard yesterday.

Polyamorists have relationships that are wide open. Despite having numerous partners at any one time, they are emotionally committed and do not cheat on them.

So, what these folks are doing is outside of the mainstream. They're rejecting the traditional Western monogamy construct as artificial. As such, one psychologist has decided these people (she's one of them, too) need a whole new language.

{...}Polys, as practitioners of polyamory term themselves, now need new words to describe their emotions and actions, Dr Barker said.

Some terms have been coined already. "Ethical slut" is used to define a woman in an open multiple relationship and is an attempt to take the stigma out of "slut". Feeling "frubbly" is described as the opposite to feeling jealous and is used to describe feelings of friendship towards a lover and their other partners, who are called "metamours".

A "wibble" is a jealous feeling but "not a massive sexual threat", Dr Barker said. "We are interested in another language," she told the conference. "The question is, when you are not having a standard relationship, what do you do for words? There are no words for what we do."{...}

{Insert head slamming on desk here}

Ok, bitch. Develop a whole new language to describe the fact that you like a little variety in your love-life. But don't try and tell me that by developing this whole new language you're not trying to rationalize your actions. Because you are. Even if you don't realize it.

Which is pretty pathetic, on the whole, if you ask me.

Hat tip: The Daily Ablution.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:44 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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...after reading this.

Once can only hope to go deaf, too, lest I actually have to listen to that crap.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:56 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Happy April Fools, SUCKERS!

On KQRS (92.5 FM), top-rated morning host Tom Barnard announced that a judge had overturned Hennepin County's smoking ban. The story, complete with quotes from county commissioners, sounded real to Hennepin County spokeswoman LuAnn Schmaus as she listened on her way to work.

"It took me a minute until I realized it was April 1," she admitted. (Another tip-off was Barnard's announcement that the United States would cease to exist by 2007). But Schmaus said after another radio station picked up the story and the county got a few phone calls, it put out an official release declaring the story bogus. For its part, KQRS reminded listeners hourly that it had been a joke.{...}

If one bloody Minneapolis City worker had to answer one phone call about the smoking ban being lifted, I am one happy effin' camper.

Seems only fair. Because, you know, the City Council didn't really allow for dissent when they passed the stupid thing.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:44 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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In the amusing legalese department, we have a libel suit that was thrown out of court. What was the alleged libel? you ask. Well it seems that someone called some city council candidates "dumbasses"; one was a "dead beat dad"; and my personal favorite, "bankrupt, drunk and chewin tobaccy."

Choice quotes from the decision:

{...}``The statement that the plaintiff is a `Dumb Ass,' even first among `Dumb Asses,' communicates no factual proposition susceptible of proof or refutation.''

{...}``denied being an alcoholic, but not that he consumed alcohol to the point of inebriation. . . . Similarly, he used only the present tense in denying that he chewed tobacco; for all the record shows, he might have chewed it in the very recent past, and might intend to chew it again in the future.''

The judges also said no one could determine with provable authority who was a dumb ass and who wasn't. ``To call a man `dumb' often means no more than to call him a `fool,' '' the opinion reads. ``One man's fool may be another's savant. Indeed, a corollary of Lincoln's famous aphorism is that every person is a fool some of the time.''{...}

Snicker.

Hat Tip: Tech Dirt, which is a blog you really should be reading every day.

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