Don't you just love being jerked clean out of a nice, deep sleep by a booming crack of thunder at five in the morning? Furthermore, don't you just adore the way your heart goes THUMPTHUMPTHUMP!!! during said awakening? I also quite enjoy the sitting straight up in bed part, and the sharp inhale of breath, too.

It's all just so much fun, let me tell you. It's like waking up in the middle of a big loop-de-loop on a rollercoaster. Wouldn't you agree?

Posted by: Kathy at 10:47 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Does anyone else worry that because of the ever-present scooter, we're going to have a generation of kids who all have one leg that's stronger than the other?

Posted by: Kathy at 11:26 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Why are the shoestrings on Nike shoes always so damn long?

Posted by: Kathy at 01:10 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Here's what's going through my brain currently:

• Damn and blast the Edina Art Fair. If you happen to live in the Cities and are planning on dropping by this weekend, might I offer a few suggestions for how to behave?

  1. Parking. Don't park in my extra spot. Sure it's non occupado right now, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let you park there. I will call the towing company, because they don't charge me a damn thing to tow your car away. They will, however, charge you an arm and a leg for their services. Have fun climbing out of that bit o' bankruptcy. Neither should you block the alleyway, because I don't want to have to listen to my neighbors bitch and moan about it.

  2. If someone's crossing the street you, the average car driver who possesses very little patience, perhaps, should allow them to do just that. Particularly if they're in a crosswalk with the little "walk" sign in their favor. Particularly if there's a cop right there, directing traffic. If you are not part of the solution, well, you are definitely, this time around, being part of the problem. Get a clue. Pedestrians have the right of way, not you. And pedestrians who live here all the freakin' time DEFINITELY have the right of way.

  3. My lawn is not your garbage can. It's amazing, in this People's Republic of Minnesota, where everyone is supposed to be so societally advanced, how people forget about littering.

  4. Don't be an idiot and ask me how to get to the art fair when you can see the white tents from my house. Open your eyes and OBSERVE, m@#erf@#$er!

  5. Don't hog the line at Walgreens, asking the clerk stupid questions that patently ignore the rules of capitalism like "Why don't you have free water for the art fair patrons?" It's not called the EDINA Art Fair for nothing, you doof. We're Cake Eaters. Figure it out. Duh. They have the stupid thing to drive traffic into the neighborhood. They're not going to give a damn thing away for free. Figure it out you little, badly aging, tyed-dyed, fanny-pack-wearing, I LOVED the sixties, sad excuse for a hippy love child!

  6. And if you regularly use my neigborhood as a traffic shortcut, JUST DON'T DO IT THIS WEEKEND. Please. The traffic is insane enough without you throwing yourselves into the mix. STAY THE HELL AWAY! Hwy. 100 really isn't all that bad. I swear!

  And that's just what's bugging me today. There's two more days to go. YAY!

• We have a new radio station in town. 104.1 is now a cool station, instead of being an all-eighties, all-PatBenatar/Loverboy fest. I listened to it today while I was running and I'm in love. How can you not love a station that plays Abba's Waterloo right next to U2's Sunday Bloody Sunday? Good, eclectic stuff.
• I smell and I need to shower. And no, Phin, you can't wash my back for me. Neither will there be any puddin' wrestling.
• I think we're going to have breakfast for supper. Just haven't made my mind up yet.
• Thank God the grocery store is open 24 hours, so I can avoid you art fair nutjobs.

And that's it. I hope you enjoyed this quickie tour through my brain. Now...get the hell out.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:58 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 That hurts, no washy your back, no puddin' wresting, is there at least the possibility of a post supper lingerie clad pillow fight?

Posted by: phin at June 03, 2005 03:29 PM (Xvpen)

2 Well, there's always a possibility, but is it probable is what you should be asking.

Posted by: Kathy at June 03, 2005 05:09 PM (cgZvM)

3 So... what kind of stuff on velvet do they have down there? I could use an Elvis or two.

Posted by: Doug at June 03, 2005 07:52 PM (7P5xE)

4 oh wow. had no idea youre in minnesota, too.

Posted by: amelie at June 03, 2005 11:36 PM (iSKVX)

5 I suppose a good "squarehead" arts festival should have a plethora of black velvet paintings of walleyes playing hockey, or loons playing poker.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at June 04, 2005 01:37 PM (HoSBk)

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Ok, so is it really bad of me to want to see this movie? Even though I'm well past the target age group?

I have to think it is.

Furthermore, well, what exactly does it say about me that I also really want to see this movie? (And yes, Jonathan, Michael Gambon really does have a lovely set of pipes)

Methinks I'm more than just "eclectic" in my tastes. "Schizophrenic" is a more apt descriptor.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:10 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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1 Funny, I just read an article on the pants movie and they were saying that even though it's being marketed as a young girl movie, it really has a much wider appeal. So, no, you shouldn't feel bad either way

Posted by: Ith at June 01, 2005 01:26 PM (8CL1r)

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What's up with everyone getting knocked up all of a sudden?

Jokes aside, mazeltov, congratulations, etc. to the both of you from the Cake Eater.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:49 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Can it be spring when you see a fat arsed cardinal landing on the tree outside your window yet there is still at least five inches of snow on the ground?

Posted by: Kathy at 12:30 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Am I supposed to know who these people are?

Does anyone else get the feeling that the spin cycle on pop culture is now going so fast that---sooner rather than later---it will spin itself right into irrelevancy?

Posted by: Kathy at 02:04 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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What I want to know is how did Chely Wright know that the woman who flipped her off was ticked off at the Marine Corps sticker in the back of her SUV?

Did the woman point and grotesquely mimic distinct jarhead behavior? Is that what tipped Chely off?

Or is there a possibility that Chely cut this unknown chick off and that's what prompted the middle finger to be thrown?

Hmmmm.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:36 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Yeah, but will a McOctopus make me as gassy as a Quarter Pounder with Cheese does?

Which leads us to a new tag line for the blog:

The Cake Eater Chronicles: For Us, There Is No Such Thing As Too Much Information.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:24 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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What the fuck is a duchy, and why would you want to pass it on the left hand side?

Is passing it on the left hand side integral?

Or could you, conceivably, pass it on the right hand side without serious consequences being handed down?

Posted by: Kathy at 08:13 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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It's currently zero degrees outside.

This will be the high for the day here in the Twin Cities.

It's positively amazing how fast dog poop becomes solid when it's this cold outside.

Posted by: Kathy at 02:00 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 While not exactly a Christmas miracle, it's certainly something we can be thankful for. Frozen-solid dog poop is certainly better than the fresh-n-steamy variety.

Posted by: Drew at December 23, 2004 02:23 PM (rloI9)

2 The Feared Redhead is a native of the Twin Cities. Her parents will be here for Christmas. Hardly ever freezes here, but it does rain, and the doggie do's just sorta melt away under the deluge.

Posted by: Brian B at December 23, 2004 05:53 PM (CouWh)

3 You mean your dog goes outside when it's that cold? My dog just looks at me like I'm nuts when I open the door. "I'm not going out there, no way, no how, just give me the ole' potty and I'll even learn to flush." I have to go out with her. Brrrr! Hope it warms up so Santa can land on the roof without sliding off, Kitty

Posted by: K. Mason at December 23, 2004 07:25 PM (THsAz)

4 We don't have a dog, but friend's of ours do. Her name is Nessie and while her owners are gallivanting around California, we're part of a team that's looking after her. They just adopted her a couple of months ago and as she was abused, she's pretty skittish---hence no kennel. Today she actually protested when I wanted to go back in. I had to force her inside. She'd done her business---I sure as hell wasn't going to stay outside just to please her. Forget it. Only when you get past the subzero temperatures, do we get to the fun of our pooper scooper law

Posted by: Kathy at December 23, 2004 09:46 PM (E0v6D)

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I would still like to know why, if Ghaddafi is the supreme ruler of Libya, is he only a measly colonel?

Shouldn't he be a general or a marshal?

Makes no sense. Then again, what about Ghaddafi does make sense?

Posted by: Kathy at 10:34 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Can somebody find this guy and kill him?

Please?

Posted by: Kathy at 11:41 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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