November 30, 2005
You ready? Excellent. Away we go...
- My Maximum Leader is a wee bit cheesed that the Olympic Flame will be earning frequent flyer miles.
- I listened to President Bush's speech this morning, and while I thought it was good, I have to say I think Chad's got a point about how it's likely to be received.
- There's been a bit of a brouhaha in the 'sphere about N.Z Bear's idea of potentially re-valuing links within the Ecosystem's unfathomable algorithms. You can find a small sampling of what bloggers think here, here, here and here.
- Chrissy got smoked on the freeway by an El Dorado yesterday and, in true Oliver Stone flashback fashion, it brought back some interesting memories.
- Sheila, once again, lets us share and revel in her obsession with Cary Grant and has an awesome post about the last scene in Notorious. I, for one, am really glad Sheila has her obsession with Cary because it allows me to indulge in my obsession with Cary, but I don't have to do nearly as much work as I would have to do normally to keep the obsession up to par. If that makes any sense whatsoever, which I don't think it does, but hey, I've got a cold so you people should be indulging me
- The Llamas would like you to kindly buy some of their merchandise. But don't buy a thong with their visage on it. That would just be wrong. In too many ways to count.
And herein endeth the link dumpage. I'm off to make some chamomile/peppermint tea which I will drink while sitting on the sofa and spacing out.
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November 29, 2005
I was going to blog tonight, but somehow a cold has managed to get past my patented and (normally) highly effective Hermit Defense System(TM). Hence, two things are going to happen. First, you're going to realize you're up shit creek as far as fresh content is concerned. And Second, I'm going to see if my two-year-old bottle of Ny-Quil still has the same potency as when I bought it, or if it pickles up nicely the longer you have it.
Green tongue, here I come!
Cheers!
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November 22, 2005
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"Elvis died on the potty!" ---Llama-ette #1
Go read the whole thing.
I particularly love this bit:
{...}At first, I was amazed that the gel had even heard the name before. When I asked if she knew who he was, she answered, "Yes, she said he was the king of rock and roll.""Well, yes, that's right - he was a singer," I replied.{...}
Now if I know my dear pal Robbo like I think I know my dear pal Robbo, he was chafing by this point. I'm sure he didn't want to talk so much to his daughter about how Elvis died, but rather would have preferred to instruct the eldest llama-ette about whether Elvis really could be considered to be "The King of Rock and Roll."
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November 21, 2005
I have a neutral sort of appreciation for him, as in I know his music, but his music will never know me.
Johnny Cash was always country music. If you're from the Midwest, it's common knowledge that you're a follower of one of two philosophies: you're either country all the way or you loathe it. Generally speaking, with a few exceptions that could be thrown into the "follies of youth" department, I'm with the loathers. Ergo, Cash fell into the category of those who shall be loathed. That's just the way it was. Until he died. And then some bright soul at the record company decided it was time to cross market Johnny Cash to the rock and roll set. Because, you know, of course Cash was a big influence on lots of rock and roll acts. Hence you'd better run right out and buy this brand-spankin' new, digitally remastered, retrospective so you too shall know the genius that was Johnny Cash.
Better yet, you'll be able to tell a friend about it, and then they'll rush right out and buy his retrospective, too. And they'll tell another friend, who will tell another friend...
Until it's, reportedly, common knowledge that the Man in Black was always cool.
When he most assuredly wasn't.
Not by a long chalk.
Although, I will admit a fondness for his recording of Depeche Mode's Personal Jesus.
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02:19 PM
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November 18, 2005
Without further ado...
Did you see that re-showing of Pride and Prejudice that was on TV the other week? No, of course you didn't; you're all Americans. What the hell am I thinking? Right, so, there's this old, but very good, adaptation of Pride and Prejudice that the BBC did ages ago and, here in Britain, they recently repeated it. Though, perhaps you have all seen it anyway, eh? Because, if anything manages to lure you briefly away from a reading a good book, then that thing is sure to be PBS, isn't it? Oh, mercy - my poor ribs.Anyway, I was watching it with Margret, and this is the situation: she is reclining on the sofa, on the floor by her side is a cup of tea which I have made for her and brought in, she's resting her legs by placing them across me, and I am by turns gently stroking them and massaging her feet. On the TV, Colin Firth -- playing Mr Darcy -- glances up slightly in response to something Elizabeth Bennet has said. Margret pouts mournfully and says to me, 'Why can't you be romantic like that?'
Let me go over the salient points of that again.
Me:
* Tea.
* Reclining Assistance.
* Legs - Support of.
* Legs - Stroking of.
* Feet - Sensual Palpation.Colin Sodding Firth:
* Glances up slightly.
What about that, then, eh? How much earth moving machinery would it take to level that bleeding playing field, do we think?
Tons, Mil.
Sorry. But life's just not fair, is it?
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Oh, for the love of all that is good and holy, is NOTHING sacred? As if it wasn't bad enough that they're completely screwing with the book, they have to have a separate ending, tailor-made for what they presume the American market wants?
Excuse me, but I'm going to collapse now. The vapors have descended.
{Insert "thud" sound here}
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02:02 PM
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Forget buying a new robe. The poor man's going to need money for therapy.
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12:13 AM
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November 17, 2005
 | ||||||||||||||||||||
You scored as Susie. You are Susie. Simple and sweet, you can insult Calvin in just the right way. You get perfect grades and help Calvin fail his tests. Because of you, the club G.R.O.S.S. started up. Isn't it great that you make a difference in the world?
What Calvin & Hobbes character are you? created with QuizFarm.com |
Hat Tip: You know Who
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05:23 PM
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It's just so weird.
UPDATE: Yeah, I know this is probably one of the lamest posts you've ever had the opportunity to read. I'm sorry I wasted your time with it, but really you should learn that this blog isn't about you, per se, but is about me, and the shit that is important and interesting to me. You're just along for the ride, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, and it's a free freakin' ride, too, so you really don't have all that much room to bitch, do you? Hmmmm?
UPDATE DEUX: My, my, my aren't I passive-agressive today?
UPDATE TROIS: I don't really have anything to add. I just figured it would be cool to update one more time to freak out the people who are reading this thing via RSS.
Ain't I a stinker?
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02:27 PM
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LAS VEGAS - Former "Hollywood Madam" Heidi Fleiss says she's bound for a brothel in the southern Nevada desert that she wants to help remake into a resort featuring male prostitutes serving female customers."I am moving to Crystal," Fleiss said Wednesday of a desert crossroads 20 miles north of Pahrump and about 80 miles outside Las Vegas. It features two bordellos and little else.
"I am opening up a stud farm," Fleiss declared from her Hollywood home overlooking the Sunset Strip. "I am going to have the sexiest men on earth. Women are going to love it."{...}
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November 16, 2005
I've said it before but that man is so freakin' hot that bricks melt when he walks on them.
{insert fanning of self here}
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11:59 PM
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November 15, 2005
It's super-duper snarky tonight---and it's really good. You're going to want to rewatch it. Trust me on this one.
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10:36 PM
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November 14, 2005
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06:28 PM
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After an unusally balmy autumn, the Twin Cities are bracing for the first significant snowfall since March with up to 5 inches of snow scheduled to pile up by midday Tuesday.The entire state of Minnesota and much of western Wisconsin is currently under a winter storm watch.
For the Twin Cities, rain is expected tonight, turning to snow after 9 p.m. Tuesday's rush hours are likely to be tortured, with 3 to 5 inches possible by late evening Tuesday, compounded by strong winds gusting toward 30 miles per hour.
Winds are expected to continue to roar into Wednesday, with falling temperatures producing subzero windchills. The predicted low temperature for Tuesday is 24 degrees, but for Wednesday it's predicted to fall to 12 degrees. {...}
Oh, yay. Can't hardly wait!
/sarcasm
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02:20 PM
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If you are interested, read on after the jump.
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12:48 PM
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November 11, 2005
Two words describe it quite well: deliciously bitchy.
{...}What would Mr. Bennet make of the film? He would be left wondering, I suspect, why God gave him only two eyebrows to raise. Let us not even ponder the likely reactions of Lady Catherine de Bourgh (Judi Dench), Darcy’s glacier of an aunt, or those of Mr. Collins (Tom Hollander), the reverend munchkin who resides on Lady Catherine’s estate and slithers beneath her gaze. What they would find incomprehensible in the movie is not the storytelling, which charts with commendable briskness the motions of various hearts, but the prevailing mood. Who is this figure, complete with steed and flying cape, who canters through the dusky woods as if eager to get home before the moon turns him into a wolf? Why, it is our friend Mr. Darcy, who has just popped round to deliver a letter. What is the purpose of this tangerine glow that fills the screen? Has the movie taken an unheralded commercial break, in which tanning lotion is being hawked to the audience? No, this is the view from inside Lizzie’s closed eyelids on a sunny day. And whence this knocking at the door after dark, which brings the nightshirted Bennets downstairs with quivering candles? It is Lady Catherine, come to bawl and bark at Lizzie in a surprising reënactment of the drill-sergeant routine from “Full Metal Jacket.”What has happened is perfectly clear: Jane Austen has been Brontëfied. In the book, Lady Catherine appears in daylight, “too early in the morning for visitors.” The film has rightly kept the hint of social insolence but switched the hour, so that the dramatic may be shaded and inked into melodrama. The question is not whether the director was justified in that transmutation but whether he had the choice; whether any of us, as moviemakers, viewers, or readers, retain the ability—not so much the scholarly equipment as the imaginative clairvoyance—to see Austen clearly. Maybe we are doomed to view her through the smoked glass of the intervening centuries, during which the spirit of romance, and the role of the body within it, have evolved out of all recognition. Why, when Lizzie accompanies her aunt and uncle to the Peak District of England, should the film take care to set her silent upon a peak, her dress and tresses stirring in the wind, if not to drop the clanging hint that Mr. Darcy is less an icy gentleman of means than a britches-busting Heathcliff in the making?{...}
Make sure you read the whole thing.
I have said it before, I will say it again: if you are watching any version of Pride and Prejudice other than this one, you are missing out. This is easily one of the best---if not the best---projects that television, let alone the Beeb, has ever produced. If you are one of those people who moans and groans about the liberties taken with books that are adapted for either the small or large screen, know that for once (!!!!) they finally stayed true to a book and did it up right. It's an adaptation truly worthy of the novel. The novel is, in my humble opinion, Austen's best, so it is quite perfect, in the scheme of that thing called universal justice, that such a great novel would have a worthy adaptation. This miniseries hit every note perfectly.
And besides, why would you want to see this stupid new version when it's pretty darn obvious that Matthew MacFayden can't carry the ruffles off like this guy can?
QED
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by Father Edward O'Brien
USMC
It is the soldier, not the reporter,
Who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the soldier, not the poet,
Who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the soldier, not the campus organizer,
Who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.
It is the solider who salutes the flag,
Who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag
Who allows the protesters to burn the flag.
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10:26 AM
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LONDON - A Boeing Co. jet arrived in London from Hong Kong on Thursday, breaking the record for the longest nonstop flight by a commercial jet. The 777-200LR Worldliner — one of Boeing's newest planes — touched down shortly after 1 p.m. (8 a.m. EST) at London's Heathrow Airport after a journey of more than 13,422 miles. The previous record was set when a Boeing 747-400 flew 10,500 miles from London to Sydney in 1989.A representative of Guinness World Records, which monitored the flight, presented Boeing's Lars Andersen with a certificate confirming it was for the longest nonstop commercial flight.
{...}The jet spent 22 hours and 43 minutes in the air.{...}
I find I must second the thoughts of my Maximum Leader on this topic: "Hey Airbus Industries! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!"
Although, my God in heaven, that would be a really long time to spend on a plane. I sincerely hope they have a really good movie selection. It would probably help if they dedicated a few planes for smoking flights only. I can see where a smoker would get violent at twenty-two hours without nicotine.
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November 10, 2005
VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. - Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson warned residents of a rural Pennsylvania town Thursday that disaster may strike there because they "voted God out of your city" by ousting school board members who favored teaching intelligent design.All eight Dover, Pa., school board members up for re-election were defeated Tuesday after trying to introduce "intelligent design" — the belief that the universe is so complex that it must have been created by a higher power — as an alternative to the theory of evolution.
"I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God. You just rejected him from your city," Robertson said on the Christian Broadcasting Network's "700 Club."{...}
Yeah, I know. It's Pat Robertson. But still...
On a somewhat related aside: is this Robertson's fourth smiting this year? Or is it his fifth? I've lost track.
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11:22 PM
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