In no particular order:

• If Washington D.C. is such a cesspool of graft and sleaze, well, isn't it about time the American people fessed up to their part in creating said cesspool?

  We want to be lied to. We like it. We're codependent as an electorate. We want to have our cake---and we not only want to eat it, we want to lick the platter it came on and then demand some more, and when the cake doesn't come out exactly as we want it, even if we were too busy reading Asian lesbian pr0n to be interested whent the cake was just a thought, well, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT AND THERE OUGHT TO BE AN INVESTIGATION! Then, on the other hand, we want someone to tell us that we're eating too much cake and to take it away from us because otherwise we'll get fat. This is called "The Theory of Divided Government," and it is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. Really and truly. It would be one thing if there was one party in the White House and one party in charge of Congress, but there isn't---we have one party in charge of the whole shebang right now and THEY'RE ACTING LIKE THEY'RE NOT FROM THE SAME PARTY! It's stupid. Absolutely stupid.

  I'm tired of it. If consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds, what then, precisely, is inconsistency? You'll notice no one ever continues that particular thought, do they, my devoted Cake Eater readers, because that would implicate them as part of the problem, wouldn't it? And of course they're not part of the problem. They're the solution. They know all and goddamn if they aren't going to tell you about it until your ears bleed.

• I'm tired of ABC's constant re-running of the damn Lost pilot. WE KNOW THE GODDAMNED PLANE CRASHED ALREADY! Good grief, people, give us new stuff. That's your job!
• I'm also tired of American Idol preempting House. But it looks like I won't have much to bitch about on that one anymore.
• I'm tired of watching my country be abused by others who want our money, influence and protection, but who assume that we should just shut up and let them run things because, of course, they know better than we do.
• I'm tired of working out all the time and not yet being 120 pounds and a perfect size six.
• I'm tired of the idiots on Fox. I can take Shep Smith, Neil Cavuto and Brit Hume---and that's it. The rest of y'all are a bunch of flaming idiots who haven't the good sense to hire a producer who will whisper sweet nothings in your ear and make it sound like it's your own words. You're the biggest bunch of fakers I've ever seen---and that's saying something because I've chosen you lot over CNN! In particular I cannot stand the dorks on Fox and Friends and tweedledumb and his blond bimbo on Dayside. Oy. If I have to hear the phrase "Well, people seem to be really interested in this," as a justification for covering that dumb dog Vivi's adventures around Queens, I'm going to hurt someone
• I'm tired of hearing about this Barry Bonds deal. The guy's a cheater. We knew this a while ago.
• I'm tired of the the oh-gee-gosh-golly! surprise at the coming American isolationism by the same crew who's been bitching about how dumb America is, how stupid our president is, how idiotic we are not to recognize the genius of Kyoto, etc.

  You people have made it ABUNDANTLY clear that you don't like Americans, or anything we stand for or what we do to support our values or protect our interests. Why on earth do you think that certain sections of the American population and economy wouldn't take your message to heart and act to make sure you don't ever have to deal with another American ever again? If the isolationists take over, well, it will be your fault. You reap what you sow.

• I'm tired of winter. It's March 23rd. I want the snow to be gone. I want the grass to start turning green. I want warm breezes that come from the south, instead of cold air coming in from Canada.
• I'm tired of the thought that people want to build a goddamn wall to keep illegals out. I find this offensive. Why do I find it offensive? Because it's the twenty-first century and we're resorting to B.C. tactics. We should have evolved beyond what the Chinese did to keep out the Mongol hordes or what the Romans did to protect against the Celts, don't you think? A wall. That will undoubtedly be scaled or tunnelled.

  A wall that won't do anything to actually solve the problem of WHY Mexicans want to cross the border, but will only force the illegals to find another way to get across. Which doesn't solve the problem, but rather makes it someone else's problem.

  As the noted philosopher John McClane once said: "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. Stop being a part of the @#@@ing problem!"
  

• I'm tired of Brokeback Mountain jokes. Really, people. It's just gay cowboys. Get over it, already.

Ok, I feel better now. If you're in need of a vent, throw your own "I'm Tired Of's" in the comments.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:10 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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So, in the wake of the Debra LeFave case, in teacher molestation cases how much does the gender of a victim have to do with the punishment of the perpetrator?

While I fully realize that LeFave would have most likely received prison time had the teenage boy been willing to testify against her, I find it curious that she got off with house arrest, while as the linked article points out, a male teacher who molested a young girl got five years in prison. The husband has, in the past, commented that this was most likely not molestation because, well, boys and girls are different. As he says, "You can't rape the willing," meaning teenage boys are walking hard-ons and that they're pretty much always up for it. (pun intended) They wouldn't be traumatized by having sex with their teacher; they'd be proud of it. And if you'll notice in the article, the victim did not want to testify because of the "media frenzy" surrounding the case, while any trauma sustained pretty much went unmentioned. Take what you will from that.

Which leads us back to the original question: how much does the gender of a victim of teacher molestation have to do with the punishment of the perpetrator?

And, to take it up a notch, are we kidding ourselves when we say that the molestation of a teenaged boy by an adult woman is the same as the molestation of a teenaged girl by an adult man?

I don't know. I believe this boy was molested. I don't believe adults should be having sex with fourteen-year-olds, no matter what gender. I think she should have been put in prison for the same amount of time as that male teacher was. I also think LeFave should also have to register with the state as a pedophile, because that's what she is. I believe in equality under the law, and that means equal punishments as well as rights.

What say you?

Posted by: Kathy at 11:26 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Two things relating to a few of my favorite fellas.

• The Galley Slaves has undergone a bit of a remodel, and they're posting again. All of which is very nice because I was beginning to feel like a dork for going over there and checking to see if they were posting.
• And we have a bit of a news flash: the husband now has a blog!

  Aieeeeeeee! I know. It's quite scary, isn't it? Next thing you know he'll be posting excerpts from The White House Cookbook and ranting on about how kerosene is a good cleaner.

  Erm, anyway, he has recruited a few of his gamer geek friends and they will be blogging on (mostly) tech related stuff, although I wouldn't put it past them to post on elf pr0n in World of Warcraft and the like when things get boring. Go on over and harrass them for no particular reason other than I told you to do so. Because I like pretending I'm omnipotent and this is as good a way as any other to get my kicks.

Posted by: Kathy at 09:31 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Hmmmmm.

Isaac Hayes did not quit "South Park." My sources say that someone quit it for him.

I can tell you that Hayes is in no position to have quit anything. Contrary to news reports, the great writer, singer and musician suffered a stroke on Jan. 17. At the time it was said that he was hospitalized and suffering from exhaustion.

ItÂ’s also absolutely ridiculous to think that Hayes, who loved playing Chef on "South Park," would suddenly turn against the show because they were poking fun at Scientology.

Last November, when the “Trapped in a Closet” episode of the comedy aired, I saw Hayes and spent time with him in Memphis for the annual Blues Ball.

If he hated the show so much, I doubt he would have performed his trademark hit song from the show, “Chocolate Salty Balls.” He tossed the song into the middle of one of his less salacious hits and got the whole audience in the Memphis Pyramid to sing along.{...}

The truth is, Hayes has a sly sense of humor and loves everything about "South Park." It’s provided him a much-needed income stream since losing the royalties to the many hits he’s written, such as “Shaft” and “Soul Man,” in the mid-1970s.

Even though heÂ’s one of AmericaÂ’s most prolific hit writers, Hayes has been denied access to profits from his own material for almost 30 years.

But itÂ’s hard to know anything since Hayes, like Katie Holmes, is constantly monitored by a Scientologist representative most of the time. Luckily, at the Blues Ball he was on his own, partying just with family and friends. He was very excited about having gotten married and about the impending birth of a new child.

Friends in Memphis tell me that Hayes did not issue any statements on his own about South Park. They are mystified.

“Isaac’s been concentrating on his recuperation for the last two and a half, three months,” a close friend told me.

Hayes did not suffer paralysis, but the mild stroke may have affected his speech and his memory. HeÂ’s been having home therapy since it happened.

That certainly begs the question of who issued the statement that Hayes was quitting "South Park" now because it mocked Scientology four months ago. If it wasnÂ’t Hayes, then who would have done such a thing?{...}

Can you say 'Xenu', children?

If this is true---and I wouldn't put it past the Scientology freaks to do such a thing---they not only severed a source of income for one of their members who needed said source of income because---ahem---he has a family to feed, but it would also means they manipulated a stroke victim for their own pr purposes.

{Insert appropriate expletives here}

Posted by: Kathy at 02:29 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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{Insert Nelson Mundt Laugh Here}

If Iowa State isn't in it, well, our consolation prize is that the Hawks blew it in the first round!

HA-ha!

Posted by: Kathy at 03:16 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Matt Labash went to Mardi Gras.

Go and read it already.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:23 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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...make the bad, bad man stop.

{...}Daniel Craig, the new James Bond actor, has been accused of being a wimp, but now he has a defender: his dad. “It is all cobblers,” Tim Wroughton-Craig told London’s Sunday Mirror. “Daniel is a hard lad — you wouldn’t want to meet him in a dark street. Is he a wimp? No, I wouldn’t like to call him that to his face. As for the idea he doesn’t like guns — when he was younger he would play with a toy gun like any other boy.” {...}

Oh dear. The Pussy Bond's (TM) called in his Daddy to defend him.

{Hat Tip: Who Else?}

Posted by: Kathy at 09:45 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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WOW.

Here's the post which brought that dude to my site.

Because I know you're curious.

And to those who come here via those particular search words: if you would learn how to take Google off "moderate safe search," you might find what you're actually looking for.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:34 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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March in Minnesota generally sucks.

WINTER STORM TO PRODUCE MORE SIGNIFICANT SNOW THIS EVENING AND THURSDAY.

SNOW ACCUMULATIONS OF THREE TO SEVEN INCHES ARE ANTICIPATED OVER MOST OF SOUTH CENTRAL MINNESOTA AND WEST CENTRAL WISCONSIN FROM TONIGHT INTO THURSDAY. A WINTER STORM WARNING IS IN EFFECT ALONG AND SOUTH OF A LINE FROM WILLMAR MINNESOTA...TO THE NORTHERN TWIN CITIES METRO AREA...TO CHIPPEWA FALLS WISCONSIN. A SNOW ADVISORY IS IN EFFECT GENERALLY SOUTHWEST OF THE MINNESOTA RIVER...ROUGHLY FROM GRANITE FALLS TO BLUE EARTH MINNESOTA.

DURING THE DAY WEDNESDAY...A LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM WILL GATHER STRENGTH AS IT MOVES OVER THE CENTRAL PLAINS. AS THE LOW APPROACHES SNOW WILL BEGIN ON WEDNESDAY EVENING ACROSS WEST CENTRAL MINNESOTA...AND SPREAD INTO SOUTHERN MINNESOTA AND WEST CENTRAL WISCONSIN OVERNIGHT INTO THURSDAY.

And this is on top of the eight inches we received on Monday.

YAY!

I love the smell of sarcasm in the morning. Smells like...capitulation.

On the bright side, Bogus Doug might actually get to use his snowblower this time around.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:58 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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So, while it's not a photo of Keanu Reeves' spleen---and thankfully it's not Tom Green's cancerous testicle---Sadie has nonetheless managed to score an exclusive pic of Sean Connery's kidney tumor.

Why did she do this?

Because that girl is a giver!

Posted by: Kathy at 09:57 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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So, you might have heard that Maureen Stapleton, 80, died over the weekend of chronic pulmonary disease.

You might have also heard that Dana Reeve, 44, died last week of lung cancer.

Most of the obituaries about the former have gone out of their way to point out that she smoked, one even went so far as to call her a "legendary smoker," while all of the obituaries about the latter have also gone out of their way to point out that she'd never smoked.

My question is this: why is it anybody's business whether they smoked or not?

Because you know what the implication is, don't you? Maureen Stapleton, because she smoked, brought on her own death. Dana Reeve, however, did not---and boy did her PR people ever make sure EVERYONE and their brother knew she hadn't gotten her lung cancer because she'd fired up a Marlboro once upon a time.

The first time I ever read the phrase a "heirarchy of grief" was in an article in the New York Times a few months after 9/11. I vaguely remember the article being about division of all of the donations received and how this "heirarchy of grief" was making itself known because it was suggested that the families of firefighters and police officers should receive more money than the families of civilians who had died in the attacks because they'd raced into the buildings, while the others had run out. While the government had to eventually bring in someone to decide who got how much the phrase has always stuck with me because while one would assume that death would be the universal leveller, it's really not.

It seems like a small thing that someone smoked during their life. It's not that big of a deal, really. It's just a habit, after all. And it's one you can have and people might never know about it. (Believe me, it's possible.) Yet, here we have two obituaries and both of them mention the smoking or non-smoking habits of the deceased. It's nobody's business---in either case. It seems to me that the media is, yet again, inserting bias into their work. After all, the obituaries seem the perfect place for---once again---hammering home the point that smoking kills. They're attempting to create the same sort of heirarchy of grief with announcing someone was a smoker---or in Dana Reeve's case making sure people feel badly for her by announcing the tragedy of lung cancer without smoking to blame it on.

I do not enjoy the idea that some obituary writer gets to slap on the morality police badge and shape the reader's image of the deceased by listing out their non pc individual habits. It's no one's business that Maureen Stapleton smoked. Really and truly. Conversely, it's no one's business that Dana Reeve didn't.

After all, they're both dead. What does it matter?

Posted by: Kathy at 03:40 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Issac Hayes---the voice of Chef---is quitting South Park.

Over religion.

NEW YORK -Isaac Hayes has quit "South Park," where he voices Chef, saying he can no longer stomach its take on religion.

Hayes, who has played the ladies' man/school cook in the animated Comedy Central satire since 1997, said in a statement Monday that he feels a line has been crossed.

"There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins," the 63-year-old soul singer and outspoken Scientologist said.

"Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored," he continued. "As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices."{...}

Mmmhmmm. Couldn't be that they made serious fun of Scientology, could it?

I mean, I don't remember Isaac having issues when they lampooned the Catholic Church. Or when they made fun of the Mormons. Or when Jesus went up against the Devil in a boxing match. Or even when Satan just wanted to be cuddled by Saddam.

"South Park" co-creator Matt Stone responded sharply in an interview with The Associated Press Monday, saying, "This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology... He has no problem — and he's cashed plenty of checks — with our show making fun of Christians."

{...}Stone told The AP he and co-creator Trey Parker "never heard a peep out of Isaac in any way until we did Scientology. He wants a different standard for religions other than his own, and to me, that is where intolerance and bigotry begin."

{my emphasis}

Can I get an 'amen'?

Posted by: Kathy at 09:55 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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As some of you, my devoted Cake Eater readers may vaguely remember, we're big fans of the Financial Times around here. I don't bother with the paper most of the week, but on Saturdays, well, you can't keep me away from it. As the wise RP once wrote, "I heart the weekend section." I wholeheartedly agree. The FT's weekend section is quite wonderful and when I'm done reading it, I do try to give the polymath---it's a crossword with a weird name---a good whack every week, but usually I don't have too much luck.

This week, however, I'm four away from finishing the damn thing--a first---and I need your help, my devoted Cake Eater readers to do so.

If you know any of these throw the answers in the comments. The numbers in parentheses are how many letters are in each word. I'll also list out what letters I do have in each word, too.

28 Across: Department of northern France, created in 1790 and abolished in 1968. (5-2-4)

S_ _ _E_T_I_E

31 Across: Symbiosis (9)

M_ _ _A_I_M

10 Down: In Ancient Greece a male citizen from 18-20 years of age. (6)

_P_E_E

(I think it's some sort of variant of 'Spartan' but I can't figure it out for the life of me!)

18 Down:A name applied by German students to anyone not connected to the university (9)

P_I_ _ _ _ _R

I thank you in advance, my devoted Cake Eater brain trust. I'm sure you have the answers hiding in the recesses of your brain. Please share, so I can retire this puzzle.

UPDATE: Thanks to everyone who helped me fill in the pieces of the puzzle! IT'S FINISHED! Woohoo! I'm so excited! And, yes, I realize it's pretty silly to be excited at finishing a crossword puzzle, but, hey, my life is actually pretty boring so maybe you should give me this one, ok?

Posted by: Kathy at 01:46 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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I should have known: it was fifty degrees the other day; it's March in Minnesota; the other shoe was bound to drop, ending all that joy.

The local weatherguy says we've got somewhere between four and eight inches of heavy, wet snow, but it's not like I can look out the window and eyeball it. No sirreee. Because all the screens are covered with snow. I'm just glad we have satellite because for a time last night we didn't. Usually this is the kind of snow that knocks that bad boy right out.

Anyway, it looks like Mr. Tinkles got out of cat prison and went nuts with the flocking machine again.

They actually cancelled school here, which---stop the presses---is not something that happens every day. The husband turned on the news, saw footage of many sideways buses and decided to take a snow day.

Here's the view from one of two snow-free windows, which, conveniently, happen to be right next to my desk.

It was a good thing that I took this picture when I did. I had the window open and was aiming for the next shot when....

...that same bough broke.

I can't get a clear shot of the fallen bough from here, because the snow is blocking the screen, but suffice it to say that it was a very clear and loud 'crack.' The husband, quite rightly, berated me for missing the action shot.

Posted by: Kathy at 09:33 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Ken emails me this link and tells me it's quite funny.

Well, I don't really think so, but then again, I rarely watch ESPN---and when I do it's to watch sports, not SportsCenter.

All I noticed is how absolutely helpless they all are when their teleprompter doesn't work.

You might think otherwise because you watch SportsCenter all the time or whatever.

The Cake Eater Chronicles: We're All About Pleasing the Masses.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:47 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I say 'idiot' who's more interested in reelection, power grabbing and making a name for oneself instead of doing what you're supposed to be doing as the Chairman of the Committee for Homeland Security, which is to keep the country safe.

Which, just for the record, he didn't do. He actually made us more vulnerable.

Thanks for that, asshole!

Posted by: Kathy at 12:27 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The husband and I just finished watching the Battlestar Galactica season finale and I'm a wee bit pissed off.

I will leave a discussion of the plot for another time, lest I spoil it for the west coasters/Tivo viewers, but I will simply say this: if they could have shoehorned one more commercial into an hour and a half program, they would have. This fracked fucked with the telling of the story. The episode never gained any momentum and what would ordinarily have been a quite dramatic storyline was a joke by the time we got to the end.

I'm glad the show is successful and that the SciFi Channel is making a goodly amount of money on it, but they got greedy with this episode and it was a detriment to the telling of the actual story. Which, believe it or not, I was convinced, up until this point, was something they cared about.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:44 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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As in the kid has some choice words about sapphic experimentation in sorority houses.* more...

Posted by: Kathy at 05:57 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Phin Jr. has made his appearance into the world!

Go on over and wish them glad tidings!

UPDATE: WE'VE GOT PICTURES!

Posted by: Kathy at 09:56 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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See also: Agent Bedhead

Posted by: Kathy at 10:11 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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1 That's my Bride. http://cakeeaterchronicles.mu.nu/archives/151410.php

Posted by: MRN aka "The Husband" at March 09, 2006 08:55 AM (zgB3S)

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