Even though I don't really feel like it.

A couple of things, though, in the ever handy bullet format.

• I'm feeling much better, thanks for asking. But the infection and the subsequent yuckiness really took the wind out of my sails. I keep waiting to get my energy back, and it does come back in short bursts, but then I crash. Again, I guess this is just yet another lesson in how fragile our bodies can be and while they can take a substantial amount of abuse, it does take some time to get back up and running.
• As far as where we stand on the pain in the ass lymphocele, well, that's a long story. Last week, once I'd recovered from the infection, I called in to Dr. Academic's office, to see where we went from there. The nurses jointly decided they wanted to see me, to check out my still-weeping wound (yes, the lymphocele was actually draining out of the incision they'd made when they'd inserted the dreaded catheter). The nurse practitioner, a nice lady who I had met before, decided that they wanted me to keep the wound open for at least three weeks, and while I was in the shower every day, to press down on it, to get more fluid out, the theory behind this being that it would reduce the inflammation. The rest of the time, I needed to keep it clean and covered with gauze. To put it bluntly: yeeeeuch! I was skeptical it would work, but I went along with it, because, after the first try, it actually did seem to reduce the inflammation and the pain. I was to check back with them in three weeks, whence I'd probably have another scan to see where we were at.

  Unfortunately, however, the wound decided it, indeed, had a mind of its own and decided to close up the other day. It happened in about four hours, and there really wasn't much to do about it, other than call in and inform the nurses of what had happened. It was then decided that since the lympocele had, in actuality, shrunk up dramatically, according to the cat scan I had when I was in the ER, that they wanted to see if it would continue along that path. I was to report in if it became more painful or the pressure increased, but for the time being, we be on our own, kids.

  So, pretty much, we're right back where we started. The lymphocele is actually smaller. I can tell as much by feeling it, but there's been so much intervention that the scar tissue has become quite tough and it feels like there's a medium sized nugget in my lower left pelvis. It's rough. It's bumpy. And it shouldn't be there. The original pain that led me to go through all this nonsense is back, as is the numbness in my thigh. Sigh. Fortunately, they put me on a new, non-narcotic pain killer that actually works better than over the counter pain relievers. It's called Tramadol, and it's actually fairly decent and doesn't leave me loopy. I highly recommend it for anyone who doesn't want to go the Percocet/Vicodin route for any number of reasons.

  As far as surgery is concerned, the nurse practitioner is very much against it, because, mainly, it could just bring me right back to square one in the future, as in I might get another lymphocele because they went in and took this one out. Apparently, according to her, these things form, partly, because of the retractors they use during surgery, to hold the area open so the surgeons can work on the innards. It didn't make much sense to her to put me in the same situation, with the same tools in use, to solve the problem. I got the feeling that surgery wasn't off the table entirely, but that it would be a fairly drastic measure that they're not at all sure would work. It's sort of a Hail Mary, I gathered.

• I went to a luncheon yesterday at one of the local country clubs (you can't swing a dead cat in this neighborhood without hitting a country club. Or a spa, for that matter.) to "celebrate" the volunteers at the hospital. I think I'll skip going next year because, dear God in heaven, was it incredibly boring. Oy vey. We had to sit through two speeches, one from the president of the hospital, thanking us for all our hard work, and one from the customer service chief at the hospital, who, according to one of my table mates, had appropriated her speech from one of Oprah's latest online self-improvement seminars. Then we had a storyteller for "entertainment" purposes, and I had the "pleasure" of hearing "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" in Finnish. Woohoo! By the time the food arrived, we'd been sitting there for two and a half hours already and I was about ready to go, so I lied to my table mates and told them I hadn't expected this thing to go so long, and I had an appointment to go to, so I scooted out before dessert was served. My bad, but it allowed me to leave before I became absolutely exhausted, so I don't feel too badly about it, on the whole.

  Another weird thing was that they "honored" me for working 300 volunteer hours. I don't quite see how that's possible since I've only been volunteering since January. At four hours per week, that puts me at sixteen hours per month. Three months x 16= 48 hours. I know I picked up some extra shifts along the way, so the number is actually higher than that, but someone didn't do the math correctly.

• If you've got some extra room on your prayer list, throw one out there for one of my brothers, would ya? I'm not getting into it, because, honestly, that would be the last thing he needs at this point in time, suffice it to say, however, he's going through a very rough time right now and could use any happy thoughts/good vibes/prayers anyone would be willing to send his way.
• I would really appreciate it if spring would show up sometime soon. We had snow on Saturday. I shit you not. It's been freezing here, and I can't hardly believe that the first of May is tomorrow. This is just bullshit, and the husband and I are seriously considering moving south of the Mason-Dixon line. We're tired of it.
• The husband and I have a book launch party to go to tomorrow night and, as I've never been to a launch before, I haven't the foggiest idea of what to wear. If anyone has any clues, drop them in the comments section.

Hopefully, that will do you for a time, my devoted, yet neglected, Cake Eater readers.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:16 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 1162 words, total size 7 kb.

This afternoon I had the pleasure of speaking briefly with our beloved Kathy. While she is toughing it out in true dignified Cake Eater fashion, she is not feeling that well at the moment. The catheter that was inserted last week has developed an infection. She is presently on antibiotics and hopes to resume regular posting as soon as she is able.

Take care of yourself, Kathy.

You are loved.

Posted by: Christina at 05:40 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 76 words, total size 1 kb.

In no particular order:

• Goddamned dishwasher motor crapped out about a week and a half ago. (Yeah, because we all know how much Kathy enjoys washing dishes by hand!) The repair guy came last week, took ten minutes to diagnose the problem, and then, after collecting a check for this admirable task, left, because he didn't have the part in his truck. Fortunately, it was covered under warranty, but they'd have to ship it out to the house, said he, and he'd be back in a week to install it.

  The part shows up yesterday, but not before the repair company calls FOUR freakin' times to a. tell me to call them regarding my service call b. to make sure that the part is there c. to tell me to call them when the part gets there, to confirm my appointment and, finally, d. to confirm the appointment, again, in case the computer gnomes erased the appointment.

  I spent more time on the phone with these jokers than it took to replace the motor.

• Oh, and the dryer is broken, too. Refuses to tumble, or so I'm told by the various males who live in the building. The landlord has been informed. Whether or not he'll do anything about it in the near future, I have no idea. One can only hope, but the fact he lives in Ohio now doesn't really help facilitate the speedy repair of things around here.

  As the husband was completely out of underwear, I had to wash the white load, then hang it up to dry, like I was living in the seventeenth century or something. Even with Downy, you can probably imagine how nice and soft his boxers were this morning when he put them on.

  The socks are another story entirely. They could stand up of their own accord, and perform a song and dance number if they wanted to.

• The dreaded drain is a real pain. Both literally and figuratively speaking. It hurts, yes, but it's just not ideal to have to drag this bag around all the time. God Forbid anyone sees it, because the fluid is yellow and they'll probably get the wrong idea. They gave me this nifty velcro strap to thread through some holes on the bag, and, in theory, you're supposed to wrap this strap around some part of your body; the strap will hold the bag in place and no one will be any the wiser. In reality, however, the strap itches like a bad case of poison ivy, and since this is a gravity bag, it's supposed to go around my thigh, so it will drain properly. Of course, my vanity can't be bothered with the wearing of sweat pants all the time, so I place it up under my boobs when I go out, where an overly large flannel shirt of the husband's hides it perfectly. The nurse disapproves of this move, but, fuck it. My sweat pants are, also, dirty, and I can't wash them because, ahem, the dryer is broken. She'll have to deal. It's not like I'm heading out and leading a normal life all that much right now, anyway.

  And, of course, this being something related to my body, and of course, is now attached to my general bad luck, it's not working. I'm still producing copious amounts of drainage, so I have to back in tomorrow for another round of "Kathy is the Human Cocktail Shaker!"

  Oh, and have I mentioned that it's, on occasion, leaking?

  Good times, my devoted Cake Eater readers. Good times!

• From the National Weather Service in Chanhassen, Minnesota. Ahem.

  {...}RAIN WILL TRANSITION TO SNOW ACROSS WESTERN AND MUCH OF CENTRAL MINNESOTA THIS EVENING. THE SNOW MAY BE HEAVY AT TIMES DURING THE MID-EVENING INTO THE OVERNIGHT HOURS. ACCUMULATIONS BY DAYBREAK FRIDAY OF FOUR TO EIGHT INCHES ARE EXPECTED IN WEST CENTRAL MINNESOTA. MORE SNOW WILL OCCUR DURING THE DAY FRIDAY...WITH TWO TO FOUR INCHES OF ADDITIONAL ACCUMULATION. TOTAL SNOWFALL AMOUNTS OF SIX TO TEN INCHES ARE EXPECTED WITHIN THIS AREA...WITH POTENTIALLY NEAR A FOOT IN A SWATH FROM CANBY NORTHEASTWARD TOWARDS LITTLE FALLS. THE SNOW IN WESTERN AND CENTRAL MINNESOTA WILL ALSO BE ACCOMPANIED BY STRONG WINDS...WITH PATCHY BLOWING SNOW EXPECTED IN RURAL OPEN AREAS.

  IN THE WARNING AREA IN WEST CENTRAL WISCONSIN...PRECIPITATION IS
  EXPECTED TO TRANSITION TO SNOW THIS EVENING. IT MAY BRIEFLY BE
  HEAVY...WITH ACCUMULATIONS OF ONE TO THREE INCHES EXPECTED NORTH
  OF THE HIGHWAY 8 CORRIDOR. MORE SNOWFALL IS EXPECTED DURING THE
  DAY FRIDAY WITH AN ADDITIONAL TWO TO FIVE INCHES OF ACCUMULATION.
  STORM TOTAL SNOWFALL ALONG AND NORTH OF THE HIGHWAY 8 CORRIDOR IS
  EXPECTED TO BE FOUR TO SEVEN INCHES.

  WITHIN THE WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY A MIX OF PRECIPITATION IS
  EXPECTED THIS EVENING...WITH PREDOMINATELY LIGHT PRECIPITATION
  EXPECTED OVERNIGHT. A TRACE TO AS MUCH AS ONE INCH OF ACCUMULATION IS EXPECTED WITHIN THIS AREA TONIGHT. HOWEVER...PRECIPITATION WILL BE PREDOMINATELY SNOW ON FRIDAY WITHIN THIS AREA WITH AS MUCH AS TWO TO FOUR INCHES OF ACCUMULATION.

  THE HEAVY SNOW IS IN RESPONSE TO A LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM MOVING
  NORTHEAST FROM NEAR KANSAS CITY EARLY THIS EVENING TO NEAR
  MILWAUKEE BY FRIDAY EVENING.

  Get all that? No, I don't know how much snow we're supposed to get either.

  I just know that it's supposed to snow. In April. On the TENTH of April.

  Gah. Screw this state. I'm moving south of the Mason Dixon line. I've HAD it.

• Ok, since when did gauze pads become such a highly valued commodity that you have to take a freakin' loan out to buy them? $5 for 20 gauze pads? And that's the Walgreen's brand! What? Is this only the finest Venetian gauze, gathered lovingly by EU-protected laborers? Eh? And, if I wanted the Johnson and Johnson gauze pads, I would have had to spend the same amount for half the product! What the hell is that all about? Don't get me started on how much tape costs.

  Fortunately, however, you can get a boatload of alcohol swabs for $1.99. Just never mind that whatever you need to sterilize won't be sterile for long because you can't afford to buy the gauze to cover it up.

  I swear to God the nickel and diming of all this medical crap is going to drive me to commit murder of some jackass pharmaceutical rep before this whole thing is over and done with.

• Upon the recommendation of Mr. H., who lusts after Jonathan Rhys Myers, I have been viewing the first season of The Tudors.

  Surprisingly, it's turned into yet another one of those "post menopause" experiences for me. Ever since they took my ovaries, modern day advertising doesn't work on me. I look at the writhing bodies that are in most ads nowadays and wonder just what the hell they're advertising. It makes no sense to me, she who hasn't the daily recommended requirement of sex hormones running rampant in her body. Watching The Tudors is much the same for me as looking at these ads: it's a big "What's with all the copulating?" moment for moi. I'll bet Henry VIII wasn't exactly a slouch in real life, but I'll be damned if the guy was really as, ahem, active as this series portrays.

  Other than that, it's a fairly decent show. Again, I doubt it's very historically accurate in the details, but it's a good drama and is highly entertaining, nonetheless. Sam Neill and Jeremy Northam are very good, as Cardinal Woolsey and Sir Thomas More, respectively. However, the standout performance, if you ask me, is Maria Doyle Kennedy as Catherine of Aragon.

That should do you for a time, my neglected Cake Eater readers.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:10 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 1293 words, total size 8 kb.