Longtime Cake Eater readers will know that I periodically come back to Mikhail Khodorkovsky's troubles because I find the situation to be emblematic of how life moves in Putin's Russia nowadays---lots of brilliant chess moves, but no payoff in seeing how the match ends because the curtains will have been pulled long before that point. Khodorkovsky's tale is long, but I'll try to hit the high points quickly: local boy makes good in new captialist system, overreaches with his oil company at a time when Mother Russia needs cash, annoying those in charge---whilst simultaneously funding opposition parties---is arrested at gunpoint on his private jet in Siberia just days before he was to merge his company with another rival, and then spends years trying to clear his name of tax evasion and fraud charges, only to fail and wind up in a Siberian prison camp. And it ain't over yet. Khodorkovsky is biding his time, working on his PhD in prison whilst trying to be a bit of a martyr for democratic causes, and Putin's prosecutors have ginned up some more charges of embezzlement and money laundering, to try and keep him in jail.

This is the stuff of a Jeffrey Archer novel. It's awesome and it's interesting. You could make this stuff up, but if you did, well, you'd be Jeffrey Archer and I think we've all learned the hard way that one of him is sufficient enough to supply novels about trashy tycoons.

Khodorkovsky isn't the hell-bound-for-democracy-saint his human rights lawyers make him out to be, but neither is he the devil Putin claims is intent on robbing all that is good and holy about Mother Russia (i.e. her natural resources). The truth lies somewhere in between and a big mystery has evolved over the past couple of days in regards to selling off the last of Yukos'---Khodorkovsky's company---properties. Rosneft, the Russian state oil company, via seizures and less than fair market priced bidding at Yukos' many fire sales, has pretty much acquired Yukos, and all its assets, lock stock and barrel. This has lead to much speculation that all the charges against dear old Mikhail were trumped up (which, to be truthful, they probably were) and that Putin was simply trying to bankrupt the company so the state could profit.

But there's a twist---because you were waiting for the twist, weren't you?-----the Yukos office building in Moscow, all twenty-two floors of what appears to be unispired concrete, went on the block on Friday, in what was to be the final nail in Yukos' coffin. Everyone assumed that Rosneft would pick it up on the cheap, like it has all the other remnants of Yukos, but, surprisingly, when all was said and done, Rosneft was outbid by an obscure company no one knows anything about.

Curious.

{...}All of Yukos' production assets and refineries now belong to the state-controlled oil company OAO Rosneft, which has dominated the liquidation auctions that began in March. Once an underachiever among Russian oil companies, Rosneft has become the biggest producer in Russia, pumping 2.1 million barrels per day - or the same as Nigeria or Iraq.

In a fitting echo of the many murky twists in Yukos' downfall, the final auction on Friday came to an unexpected end.

Lot number 13, which included Yukos' 22-story, green-and-brown Moscow headquarters, should have been a victory lap for Rosneft. The towering downtown building would have made an appropriate home for the new oil giant that emerged from Yukos' remains.

But an unknown company won the auction after a grueling 2 1/2 hours of bidding that saw the opening price nearly quintuple - an unheard of result for the auctions, all of which have appeared to be closely scripted.

After 706 back-and-forth bids from Rosneft's subsidiary Neft-Aktiv and OOO Prana, the mysterious company made the winning bid - US$3.9 billion. By the end the auctioneer, who called three breaks in the bidding, was sounding hoarse. {...}

According to an article in Saturday's FT, which has since disappeared behind the subscriber wall, the building isn't worth that much.

The last bankruptcy sale of Mikhail Khodorkovsky's Yukos ended in mystery yesterday when an obscure company bought an auctioned lot, including Yukos' headquarters building, for almost $4bn, in what looked at first glance to be the most expensive property deal in recent history.

The company, Prana, bid nearly five times the starting price of Rs22bn ($852m) to head off state-controlled Rosneft in 707 rounds of bidding.

Observers were baffled by the price paid for the lot, which, at first glance, inclused only the office building, and a couple of shell companies.

Moscow property experts estimated Yukos' tower block was worth no more than $300m. "It's not new. It's not in the centre. This sum just does not fit the building, said Constantine Demetriou, head of capital markets at Jones Lang Lasalle in Moscow.

{...}Rosneft had widely been expected to snaffle the headquarters to cap its takeover of Yukos. The state-controlled oil major has faced little competition in previous bankruptcy auctions in which it has snapped up all of Yukos's remaining production units and refinieries in bidding often lasting less than ten minutes.

The break-up of Yukos over $33bn in back-tax demands has helped propel Rosneft to the position of Russia's biggest oil producer.

But yesterday's price bring the total raised from the Yukos bankruptcy sale to Rbs824bn. This substantially exceeds the company's total debts of Rbs709bn, fuelling Yukos shareholders' claims the company was bankrupted illegally to benefit the state and Rosneft.{...}

So, the questions that immediately come to mind are: who would pay so much for an office block that's not worth anywhere nearly as much as it was bought for, and why would they do it? Was there perhaps something more valuable included in the lot? Could very well be:

{...}Alexander Temerko, Yukos' former vice president, said he had information that trading entities included in yesterdays' lot held more than $4.5bn in cash from oil sales by Yukos' two remaining production units.{...}

{all my emphasis}

So, what the fuck, my devoted Cake Eater readers, eh? Can one not have some serious fun trying to imagine what, precisely, is going on behind the scenes here? After plotting for months from his Siberian prison cell, did Mikhail Khodorkovsky manage to hold onto some of his assets, because only he truly knew their value, via an outside buyer? Which, if true, would make him a playa' again---big time. How did Rosneft manage to miscalculate so egregiously? Did they have any clue what they were up against? Or were they simply outplayed?

It's good fun to imagine what went down, no? Because, God only knows, we're never likely to know what actually happened.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:04 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I'm going to try to make myself useful by entertaining you all. Because God only knows I'm not doing a whole hell of a lot else right now.

Work with me here, people.

So, without further ado some bits and bobs for your amusement and edification...

• Longtime devoted Cake Eater readers will know that we take the Financial Times as our daily dead tree paper. This past Monday they redid the layout of the paper and it's been somewhat interesting this week to read it. I keep thinking my reading speed must have increased tremendously because I'm getting to the opinion section sooner, only to be reminded that, duh, they just moved it up a few pages. Apparently, I'm not the only one who's having issues with the new layout. One Mr. R.A. Parsons, Tempsford, Beds sent a most eloquent letter regarding the new, er, positioning of columnist Lucy Kellaway's regular Monday missive about work life.

  And I quote:

  "Sir, I preferred Lucy Kellaway horizontal."

• Just for the record, I still haven't puked. Yet.
• How sweet would it be to own this ride?
• I've decided that chemotherapy is this guy. He's doing his damndest to break me down, so that, ultimately, he can build me back up again, but damn, I really wish he'd lighten up a bit. Right about now, I'm feeling a wee bit like Mario Van Peebles after Gunny ripped out his earring. I do know, however, that it would be a mistake to call in Swede to try and stop him. Gunny would simply kick Swede in the nuts and that would be that. Waste of time, really.

  Now, I simply have to decide whether or not I like the mental image of millions of little Clint Eastwood heads running around my body, killing cells left and right, whilst muttering the words, "Boo Ya" in that gravelly voice of his.

  What say you, my devoted Cake Eater readers? Do you think Gunnery Sgt. Tom 'Gunny' Highway should be the official image of my chemotherapy?

  If not, who should be? We could have a contest or something.

• Though it slays me to give the tubby bastard anything, I fail to see where Alec Baldwin should have to apologize for chastising his daughter. Furthermore, this maxima mea culpa business is getting old. Kids can be cruel. No, parents shouldn't take out their frustrations on their children, particularly not when the source of said frustration is their other parent, but one can and should call a kid on it when they've stepped out of line. It does no one any favors to let them get away with it. I almost feel sorry for the guy. Almost.
• They warn you that chemo will cause your skin to be uber-sensitive to the sun, and they tell you to rush right out and buy a bottle of 45 sunblock to protect yourself. I realized they weren't kidding when I got sunburned last Friday, right after the chemo, in about fifteen minutes. No matter how pale I get (and believe me, I can get pretty darn pale) that doesn't happen. So, I've been slathering the sunscreen on all week long and whaddya know, just from doing my usual errands, I'm getting a pretty bitchin' tan.

  You see, it's about making the side effects work for you.

  Not like I'd really know, though. This is the only one that's worked in my favor.

• Luna Bars have the official Cake Eater Seal of Approval.

  Particularly the Dulce de Leche bars. Mmmmmmcaramelmmmmm.

• Spelling pet peeve that I'm seeing everywhere nowadays: it's capitol when you're referring to where the seat of government is located and it's capital when you're referring to start-up money, accumulated wealth, letters, an important principle or a crime that's punishable by death.

  Seriously, people. How hard is it to get this one right? All you need is to remember the opening credits of the now-defunct soap Capitol to spell this word correctly.

  And don't give me that disdainful look. You know you watched it.

  Honestly, if soap opera writers can spell it correctly, you can too!

• Right at this bleedin' moment, there is a pair of ducks in my yard, looking for a space to do their dirty deeds dirt cheap. I will repeat this for the third year running: The Cake Eater Pad's yard is not a duckie brothel! Move it along, already! Go to my neighbor's yard: she's a former hippie and no doubt she'd be cool with it. Take your duckie licentiousness elsewhere.

Ok, that should do it for now, my devoted Cake Eater readers. I'll check back in when I have the need to feel productive again.

Posted by: Kathy at 02:53 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 792 words, total size 5 kb.

1 Looks like you are rocking right along. Kudos to you. Shall I send a pellet rifle for you to kick duckie butt?

Posted by: Chrissy at April 27, 2007 03:21 PM (d3xGU)

2 I got my breast biopsy results on Monday. I have invasive ductal carcinoma. I see the oncologist on Thursday and we will make a plan. If you have taken Gunny Highway then I am going to take Gunny Hartman (R. Lee Ermy) from "Full Metal Jacket". I don't have a complete plan, yet. It looks like surgery, radiation, and possibly chemo. Just DAMN!

Posted by: Robin at April 27, 2007 05:55 PM (AzTnM)

3 What is it with this "Dulce de Leche" meme that's suddenly popped up? Starbucks is flogging it for all it's worth.

Posted by: Robbo the Llama Butcher at April 28, 2007 05:33 AM (piZDb)

4 I was thinking Tank Girl, but Clint is better.

Posted by: Margi at May 03, 2007 12:18 PM (2Wxch)

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This is the kind of shit we're going to have to put up with from the macZealots we have to deal with on a regular basis.

Check out the drool encrusted specs here.

Touch screen for a keypad? No tactile response? It's going to suck.

Wanna be a millionaire? Start calling up Chinese manufacturers to find the fastest, cheapest one who will produce, pack and ship 1 million, custom designed scratch-resistant iPhone "pockets" with a drawstring, optional lanyard and/or belt clip and a pocket on the back that contains a branded, scratch resistant buffing cloth. Afficianados will certainly want the buffing cloth cut from Steve Jobs' old tighty-whities. They'll pay triple for the portion that cradled his nutsack...probably more if it's unwashed.

And what's with the android model hand in that photograph?!? Check out how long the thumb is in comparison to the other fingers! An obvious attempt to make the thing look smaller than it is. (Which I know "I" don't want in a left hand...)

ME?? I want one of these!

Posted by: MRN aka "The Husband" at 09:55 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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{Insert exceedingly brief moment of abject humility here}

I take it back. I take it back. I take it back. I take it back.

I will now proceed to shout it from the rooftops in case four takebacks did not adequately get the message across.

Ahem.

I have yet to figure out which Bond he is (it could very well turn out to be that he's the "Smokin' Hot Bond"), but after seeing Casino Royale last weekend and allowing my thoughts on the subject to percolate over the past week, I have come to the conclusion that I was wrong to call him what I did.

I apologize wholeheartedly to Mr. Craig. Which is pretty much a worthless gesture on my part, because it's not like he's going to stumble across this post. But just in case, well, I thought I'd throw it out there for what it was worth.

{insert ending to brief moment of abject humility here}

Allrighty then. If you're interested in what I thought of Craig's performance and the movie itself, take the jump. If not, well, that's your choice, but, hell, this is a "one-time only" comeback performance. And, unlike a Babs Streisand performance, not only will I not charge you an arm and a leg to attend, I will refrain from shouting obscenities at you from the stage if you heckle me.

Because, and I think this goes without saying, my neglected, yet somehow still devoted, Cake Eater Readers, I'm much cooler than Babs ever could be. more...

Posted by: Kathy at 02:56 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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View image

Oh yes...Phin is definitely on to something.

Posted by: MRN aka "The Husband" at 08:49 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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You, stop now and think.

You see that celebrity across the coffee shop? Is your instinct to grin and gush and fawn over them? Trying to decide if you have the temerity to approach and offer a kind word or ask for an autograph?

What the hell for!?

Think.

What has that person ever done for you? Sure, it's possible that you appreciate the work of that artist/politician/actor/author. But it is equally possible that you find that celebrity's work to be utter crap. Still, you sit there all a-twitter in the proximity of 'Someone Important'.

Garbage.

If you can, halt your media induced stupor for one minute and be in the moment. Look at your surroundings. Who in this coffee shop should you revere? Who deserves your attention and kind word?

It might be the cashier who, despite waking at 4:15 AM, five days a week for the past 3 years, always greets you with a smile and a warm "Good Morning" - even when you're tired, annoyed and an absolute bitch for no reason other than it's early. It might be the barrista who, regardless of doing the same thing day after day for going on 4 years now while studying full-time and trying to find 3 minutes a week for a social life, takes care each morning to make sure your milk is steamed just a little bit hotter than he would normally do - because that's the way you like it.

These people are the celebrities. These are the ones who deserve your attention and your gratitude.

You want to argue that they get paid to do those things for you, so any extra isn't deserved? I call bullshit again! The actor you would so gleefully fawn over helped a movie studio and distribution system take several million dollars, $8.50 at a time, for what he does. He got paid. The politician has been campaigning for the past 3 months to get re-elected. This campaign process burns tens of millions of dollars for her alone. When was the last time she voted "No" when a congressional pay raise was up for a vote? She got paid.

They both got paid, and because you're too stupid to recognize that you're paying them for the privelege of kissing their ass, you'll probably pay them again and get very little in return. But every morning - every. damn. morning. - your coffee comes across from a helpful pair just the way you like it.

Ask them for their autograph, and strike up a conversation. I'll bet the service gets even better.

Posted by: MRN aka "The Husband" at 11:42 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Recently The Edge posted an essay by one of the pioneers of virtual reality, Jaron Lanier. The essay raises some outstanding questions regarding the new "online collectivism" and services that have evolved into full-on movements such as Wikipedia.

I find myself agreeing with Lanier's point:

No, the problem is [...] the larger pattern of the appeal of a new online collectivism that is nothing less than a resurgence of the idea that the collective is all-wise, that it is desirable to have influence concentrated in a bottleneck that can channel the collective with the most verity and force. This is different from representative democracy, or meritocracy. This idea has had dreadful consequences when thrust upon us from the extreme Right or the extreme Left in various historical periods. The fact that it's now being re-introduced today by prominent technologists and futurists, people who in many cases I know and like, doesn't make it any less dangerous.

It is always refreshing to read reasoned, clear thinking in this day and age of zealotry on all fronts. To that end, I would also suggest Steven Pinker's book, "The Blank Slate: The Modern Denial of Human Nature". It's not an easy read, but it is absolutely full to the bindings of well thought out, reasoned arguments.

Posted by: MRN aka "The Husband" at 03:38 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Well, hello there my devoted Cake Eater Readers. I just wanted to quickly check in with y'all to assure you that I am, indeed, alive and to dump some baggage so I don't wind up scaring the landlord and his new bride with my volume as I yell at the tee vee.

In no particular order, here's what's going on in my head and life:

• The novel is coming along fine, thanks for asking. And, because someone asked, no, I will not be posting excerpts. I want to get paid for this thing and I fail to see how my future publishing company (the first one that offers me a big, fat advance) will take kindly to the notion that what they'd like to charge for is available for free. Sorry, kids, but something tells me you'll live.
• I'm smoking again. I say this not because I want a bunch of comments saying "Oh, Kathy, how could you?" (because, really, I don't want to hear about it at ALL, if you get my drift) but rather to announce that I'm a happier person now that I'm allowing myself some devil weed on occasion. Really and truly, I'm happier. I'm also lighter. My scale is rejoicing, instead of screaming, "GET OFF ME, YOU FAT BITCH!"

  I'm officially calling bullshit on all of those non-smoking advocates who say that, "on average, people only gain five to ten pounds when they quit." Well, beeeeyotches, I gained thirty. At this point it's a crapshoot as to which is worse for my health: the smoking of ultra-light cigarettes or the extra weight. In a perfect world I would have lost weight when I quit, my jeans would have become too big, I would have gone shopping and treated myself to a new smoke-free wardrobe. But I didn't, because I refuse to buy any fat clothes. Which seems to be yet another check mark in the "no good deed goes unpunished" column.

• When you've been away from HTML for two months, but have instead been using Word extensively, it's hard to remember that you have to code in the italics, bold, etc., instead of simply pressing CTRL-I or whatnot.
• So, New Orleans' residents re-elected Ray Nagin as their mayor. Oh, well done people. Well done. I suppose when the choice is between the incompetent and the corrupt, it should be considered a blessing that the incompetent won out, but don't expect the rest of the country to save your bacon the next time it falls into the fire. Seriously. We can only take so much.
• My twenty-one-year-old niece has announced she's getting married this summer. To answer your next question: no, she's not preggers; she is, instead, Mormon. To sweeten the pot: she's also marrying the guy with whom she shared her first kiss. He's twenty-six. And they're both still in school. To say this might be an interesting wedding is somewhat understating things. We're not even sure that our family, heathen Catholics to the last, will be allowed to attend the wedding proper, the Mormons having strict rules about not allowing non-Mormons in their temples.

  These concerns aside, we're all happy for her. It will be wonderful day and we can't wait to be a part of it.

  But, to bitch a bit about the choice of wedding date: have I mentioned she's getting married on the husband's and my wedding anniversary? Yeah. There go any plans we might have had for a romantic getaway. We'll be in Montana instead. Sometimes coming from a big family is a real pain in the ass.

• For another bit of "God, I feel old" news, another nephew is graduating from high school next weekend. He was born when I was a junior in high school. Oy.
• We saw The DaVinci Code this weekend. Why people are so up in arms about this, I still don't know. I'm ashamed that my church is calling for governments to ban it. For the final time: IT'S FICTION, PEOPLE. IF YOUR "FAITH" CAN'T HANDLE A CHALLENGE AS WEAK AS THIS ONE, WELL, YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE A LOT OF "FAITH," DO YOU? Call me when there's a REAL theological challenge afoot. Until then, quit your bitching, as it's extremely tiresome.

  Besides that, well, the movie isn't really all that good. Tom Hanks, with his funky hair (I want my curly-haired Hanks back, stat!) has very little to do. Jean Reno and Albert Molina aren't used effectively, either. Paul Bettany pretty much steals the show as Silas, the albino. As does Ian McKellen and Audrey Tautou. Please, don't pay full price to see it. The book is better---for what that's worth.

• In case you hadn't noticed, the Republican party is imploding. The only saving grace in this instance is that the Democrats have nothing worthwhile to offer disaffected voters. If, say, another Bill Clinton came along, we'd be screwed. And deservedly so.
• I would like to thank my pals, Robbo and Steve, for keeping this blog alive while I've been off, doing my thing. I didn't ask them to, but I'm sure glad they took up the challenge. Fortunately, I don't think I'm getting a lot of hits from Steve-o's relentless google chumming, but I've cured myself of compulsively checking the sitemeter, so who the hell knows.

  Also, props to Sadie, and relentless (not so much anymore) commenter and Cake Eater College Basketball correspondent, Russ from Winterset, for their help as well. As a related aside, Russ asked to have a character in the new book named after him. He's getting his wish, too, but not in the way I think he wants.

• It's finally spring here in Minneapolis. Although it was thirty-six when we woke up this morning, but, fortunately, that's far from the norm anymore.
• To Katie MacGuidwin, eCampaign coordinator for Republican National Committee who can be reached at KMacGuidwin@rnchq.org I have a simple message.

  Ahem.

  STOP SPAMMING ME WITH LINKS TO DRUDGE AND INSTAPUNDIT POSTS! Ya freakin' idiot. I've asked you REPEATEDLY to take me off your mailing list. You even apologized for not doing so and promised that it would happen immediately. BUT YOU DIDN'T DO IT. That I've received TWO, count 'em TWO, spams in the meantime is beyond my capacity for politeness.

  Never mind the fact that the links you're spamming me with would have already been read by anybody whose opinion is worth courting. So, dig this, chickie babe: you're not only sending out unsolicited email, but you're sending out LAME, unsolicited email, which is just chock-a-block full of old new---and you're sending it to the most connected group of people to ever exist. Congratulations! I'm sure this is just what the Republican National Committee was hoping for when they created a position to develop good relations with bloggers. Well done! You should be proud!

  Finally, of course you know this means war.

• Have you noticed that all the preggo-blogging has ceased and everyone is now writing about how little sleep they're getting?
• I still don't care about American Idol and, really and truly, all you need to do to have an opinion about who should win is to watch the last five minutes of Tuesday's show, which is when they announce the phone numbers for voting. Seriously. Based on that, I think that Katharine chick is going to win. Chris' loss a few weeks ago sealed her fate. That Taylor dude doesn't have a chance in hell of winning.

  Also, I don't know why everyone says Simon Cowell is so mean. If I were in his spot, well, I'd be a hell of a lot meaner. Because I could be. Trust me on this one.

• In other Tuesday evening tee vee watching, House gets shot tomorrow night! How sweet is that! Can't wait!
• Al Gore needs to catstrated with a single toothpick for foisting more of that bullshit global warming crap on us. Although, he'd probably think that that would be too quick an end. Or at least that's what his monontone rambling would seem to insinuate.

And that should do it, kids. Have a wonderful day, week, and month. I'll be back when I'm back.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:05 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
Post contains 1365 words, total size 8 kb.

But I have no idea about the guys in it at the time...

Posted by: MRN aka "The Husband" at 09:03 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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In no particular order:

• If Washington D.C. is such a cesspool of graft and sleaze, well, isn't it about time the American people fessed up to their part in creating said cesspool?

  We want to be lied to. We like it. We're codependent as an electorate. We want to have our cake---and we not only want to eat it, we want to lick the platter it came on and then demand some more, and when the cake doesn't come out exactly as we want it, even if we were too busy reading Asian lesbian pr0n to be interested whent the cake was just a thought, well, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT AND THERE OUGHT TO BE AN INVESTIGATION! Then, on the other hand, we want someone to tell us that we're eating too much cake and to take it away from us because otherwise we'll get fat. This is called "The Theory of Divided Government," and it is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. Really and truly. It would be one thing if there was one party in the White House and one party in charge of Congress, but there isn't---we have one party in charge of the whole shebang right now and THEY'RE ACTING LIKE THEY'RE NOT FROM THE SAME PARTY! It's stupid. Absolutely stupid.

  I'm tired of it. If consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds, what then, precisely, is inconsistency? You'll notice no one ever continues that particular thought, do they, my devoted Cake Eater readers, because that would implicate them as part of the problem, wouldn't it? And of course they're not part of the problem. They're the solution. They know all and goddamn if they aren't going to tell you about it until your ears bleed.

• I'm tired of ABC's constant re-running of the damn Lost pilot. WE KNOW THE GODDAMNED PLANE CRASHED ALREADY! Good grief, people, give us new stuff. That's your job!
• I'm also tired of American Idol preempting House. But it looks like I won't have much to bitch about on that one anymore.
• I'm tired of watching my country be abused by others who want our money, influence and protection, but who assume that we should just shut up and let them run things because, of course, they know better than we do.
• I'm tired of working out all the time and not yet being 120 pounds and a perfect size six.
• I'm tired of the idiots on Fox. I can take Shep Smith, Neil Cavuto and Brit Hume---and that's it. The rest of y'all are a bunch of flaming idiots who haven't the good sense to hire a producer who will whisper sweet nothings in your ear and make it sound like it's your own words. You're the biggest bunch of fakers I've ever seen---and that's saying something because I've chosen you lot over CNN! In particular I cannot stand the dorks on Fox and Friends and tweedledumb and his blond bimbo on Dayside. Oy. If I have to hear the phrase "Well, people seem to be really interested in this," as a justification for covering that dumb dog Vivi's adventures around Queens, I'm going to hurt someone
• I'm tired of hearing about this Barry Bonds deal. The guy's a cheater. We knew this a while ago.
• I'm tired of the the oh-gee-gosh-golly! surprise at the coming American isolationism by the same crew who's been bitching about how dumb America is, how stupid our president is, how idiotic we are not to recognize the genius of Kyoto, etc.

  You people have made it ABUNDANTLY clear that you don't like Americans, or anything we stand for or what we do to support our values or protect our interests. Why on earth do you think that certain sections of the American population and economy wouldn't take your message to heart and act to make sure you don't ever have to deal with another American ever again? If the isolationists take over, well, it will be your fault. You reap what you sow.

• I'm tired of winter. It's March 23rd. I want the snow to be gone. I want the grass to start turning green. I want warm breezes that come from the south, instead of cold air coming in from Canada.
• I'm tired of the thought that people want to build a goddamn wall to keep illegals out. I find this offensive. Why do I find it offensive? Because it's the twenty-first century and we're resorting to B.C. tactics. We should have evolved beyond what the Chinese did to keep out the Mongol hordes or what the Romans did to protect against the Celts, don't you think? A wall. That will undoubtedly be scaled or tunnelled.

  A wall that won't do anything to actually solve the problem of WHY Mexicans want to cross the border, but will only force the illegals to find another way to get across. Which doesn't solve the problem, but rather makes it someone else's problem.

  As the noted philosopher John McClane once said: "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. Stop being a part of the @#@@ing problem!"
  

• I'm tired of Brokeback Mountain jokes. Really, people. It's just gay cowboys. Get over it, already.

Ok, I feel better now. If you're in need of a vent, throw your own "I'm Tired Of's" in the comments.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:10 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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So, in the wake of the Debra LeFave case, in teacher molestation cases how much does the gender of a victim have to do with the punishment of the perpetrator?

While I fully realize that LeFave would have most likely received prison time had the teenage boy been willing to testify against her, I find it curious that she got off with house arrest, while as the linked article points out, a male teacher who molested a young girl got five years in prison. The husband has, in the past, commented that this was most likely not molestation because, well, boys and girls are different. As he says, "You can't rape the willing," meaning teenage boys are walking hard-ons and that they're pretty much always up for it. (pun intended) They wouldn't be traumatized by having sex with their teacher; they'd be proud of it. And if you'll notice in the article, the victim did not want to testify because of the "media frenzy" surrounding the case, while any trauma sustained pretty much went unmentioned. Take what you will from that.

Which leads us back to the original question: how much does the gender of a victim of teacher molestation have to do with the punishment of the perpetrator?

And, to take it up a notch, are we kidding ourselves when we say that the molestation of a teenaged boy by an adult woman is the same as the molestation of a teenaged girl by an adult man?

I don't know. I believe this boy was molested. I don't believe adults should be having sex with fourteen-year-olds, no matter what gender. I think she should have been put in prison for the same amount of time as that male teacher was. I also think LeFave should also have to register with the state as a pedophile, because that's what she is. I believe in equality under the law, and that means equal punishments as well as rights.

What say you?

Posted by: Kathy at 11:26 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Two things relating to a few of my favorite fellas.

• The Galley Slaves has undergone a bit of a remodel, and they're posting again. All of which is very nice because I was beginning to feel like a dork for going over there and checking to see if they were posting.
• And we have a bit of a news flash: the husband now has a blog!

  Aieeeeeeee! I know. It's quite scary, isn't it? Next thing you know he'll be posting excerpts from The White House Cookbook and ranting on about how kerosene is a good cleaner.

  Erm, anyway, he has recruited a few of his gamer geek friends and they will be blogging on (mostly) tech related stuff, although I wouldn't put it past them to post on elf pr0n in World of Warcraft and the like when things get boring. Go on over and harrass them for no particular reason other than I told you to do so. Because I like pretending I'm omnipotent and this is as good a way as any other to get my kicks.

Posted by: Kathy at 09:31 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Hmmmmm.

Isaac Hayes did not quit "South Park." My sources say that someone quit it for him.

I can tell you that Hayes is in no position to have quit anything. Contrary to news reports, the great writer, singer and musician suffered a stroke on Jan. 17. At the time it was said that he was hospitalized and suffering from exhaustion.

ItÂ’s also absolutely ridiculous to think that Hayes, who loved playing Chef on "South Park," would suddenly turn against the show because they were poking fun at Scientology.

Last November, when the “Trapped in a Closet” episode of the comedy aired, I saw Hayes and spent time with him in Memphis for the annual Blues Ball.

If he hated the show so much, I doubt he would have performed his trademark hit song from the show, “Chocolate Salty Balls.” He tossed the song into the middle of one of his less salacious hits and got the whole audience in the Memphis Pyramid to sing along.{...}

The truth is, Hayes has a sly sense of humor and loves everything about "South Park." It’s provided him a much-needed income stream since losing the royalties to the many hits he’s written, such as “Shaft” and “Soul Man,” in the mid-1970s.

Even though heÂ’s one of AmericaÂ’s most prolific hit writers, Hayes has been denied access to profits from his own material for almost 30 years.

But itÂ’s hard to know anything since Hayes, like Katie Holmes, is constantly monitored by a Scientologist representative most of the time. Luckily, at the Blues Ball he was on his own, partying just with family and friends. He was very excited about having gotten married and about the impending birth of a new child.

Friends in Memphis tell me that Hayes did not issue any statements on his own about South Park. They are mystified.

“Isaac’s been concentrating on his recuperation for the last two and a half, three months,” a close friend told me.

Hayes did not suffer paralysis, but the mild stroke may have affected his speech and his memory. HeÂ’s been having home therapy since it happened.

That certainly begs the question of who issued the statement that Hayes was quitting "South Park" now because it mocked Scientology four months ago. If it wasnÂ’t Hayes, then who would have done such a thing?{...}

Can you say 'Xenu', children?

If this is true---and I wouldn't put it past the Scientology freaks to do such a thing---they not only severed a source of income for one of their members who needed said source of income because---ahem---he has a family to feed, but it would also means they manipulated a stroke victim for their own pr purposes.

{Insert appropriate expletives here}

Posted by: Kathy at 02:29 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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{Insert Nelson Mundt Laugh Here}

If Iowa State isn't in it, well, our consolation prize is that the Hawks blew it in the first round!

HA-ha!

Posted by: Kathy at 03:16 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Matt Labash went to Mardi Gras.

Go and read it already.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:23 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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...make the bad, bad man stop.

{...}Daniel Craig, the new James Bond actor, has been accused of being a wimp, but now he has a defender: his dad. “It is all cobblers,” Tim Wroughton-Craig told London’s Sunday Mirror. “Daniel is a hard lad — you wouldn’t want to meet him in a dark street. Is he a wimp? No, I wouldn’t like to call him that to his face. As for the idea he doesn’t like guns — when he was younger he would play with a toy gun like any other boy.” {...}

Oh dear. The Pussy Bond's (TM) called in his Daddy to defend him.

{Hat Tip: Who Else?}

Posted by: Kathy at 09:45 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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WOW.

Here's the post which brought that dude to my site.

Because I know you're curious.

And to those who come here via those particular search words: if you would learn how to take Google off "moderate safe search," you might find what you're actually looking for.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:34 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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March in Minnesota generally sucks.

WINTER STORM TO PRODUCE MORE SIGNIFICANT SNOW THIS EVENING AND THURSDAY.

SNOW ACCUMULATIONS OF THREE TO SEVEN INCHES ARE ANTICIPATED OVER MOST OF SOUTH CENTRAL MINNESOTA AND WEST CENTRAL WISCONSIN FROM TONIGHT INTO THURSDAY. A WINTER STORM WARNING IS IN EFFECT ALONG AND SOUTH OF A LINE FROM WILLMAR MINNESOTA...TO THE NORTHERN TWIN CITIES METRO AREA...TO CHIPPEWA FALLS WISCONSIN. A SNOW ADVISORY IS IN EFFECT GENERALLY SOUTHWEST OF THE MINNESOTA RIVER...ROUGHLY FROM GRANITE FALLS TO BLUE EARTH MINNESOTA.

DURING THE DAY WEDNESDAY...A LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM WILL GATHER STRENGTH AS IT MOVES OVER THE CENTRAL PLAINS. AS THE LOW APPROACHES SNOW WILL BEGIN ON WEDNESDAY EVENING ACROSS WEST CENTRAL MINNESOTA...AND SPREAD INTO SOUTHERN MINNESOTA AND WEST CENTRAL WISCONSIN OVERNIGHT INTO THURSDAY.

And this is on top of the eight inches we received on Monday.

YAY!

I love the smell of sarcasm in the morning. Smells like...capitulation.

On the bright side, Bogus Doug might actually get to use his snowblower this time around.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:58 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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So, while it's not a photo of Keanu Reeves' spleen---and thankfully it's not Tom Green's cancerous testicle---Sadie has nonetheless managed to score an exclusive pic of Sean Connery's kidney tumor.

Why did she do this?

Because that girl is a giver!

Posted by: Kathy at 09:57 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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So, you might have heard that Maureen Stapleton, 80, died over the weekend of chronic pulmonary disease.

You might have also heard that Dana Reeve, 44, died last week of lung cancer.

Most of the obituaries about the former have gone out of their way to point out that she smoked, one even went so far as to call her a "legendary smoker," while all of the obituaries about the latter have also gone out of their way to point out that she'd never smoked.

My question is this: why is it anybody's business whether they smoked or not?

Because you know what the implication is, don't you? Maureen Stapleton, because she smoked, brought on her own death. Dana Reeve, however, did not---and boy did her PR people ever make sure EVERYONE and their brother knew she hadn't gotten her lung cancer because she'd fired up a Marlboro once upon a time.

The first time I ever read the phrase a "heirarchy of grief" was in an article in the New York Times a few months after 9/11. I vaguely remember the article being about division of all of the donations received and how this "heirarchy of grief" was making itself known because it was suggested that the families of firefighters and police officers should receive more money than the families of civilians who had died in the attacks because they'd raced into the buildings, while the others had run out. While the government had to eventually bring in someone to decide who got how much the phrase has always stuck with me because while one would assume that death would be the universal leveller, it's really not.

It seems like a small thing that someone smoked during their life. It's not that big of a deal, really. It's just a habit, after all. And it's one you can have and people might never know about it. (Believe me, it's possible.) Yet, here we have two obituaries and both of them mention the smoking or non-smoking habits of the deceased. It's nobody's business---in either case. It seems to me that the media is, yet again, inserting bias into their work. After all, the obituaries seem the perfect place for---once again---hammering home the point that smoking kills. They're attempting to create the same sort of heirarchy of grief with announcing someone was a smoker---or in Dana Reeve's case making sure people feel badly for her by announcing the tragedy of lung cancer without smoking to blame it on.

I do not enjoy the idea that some obituary writer gets to slap on the morality police badge and shape the reader's image of the deceased by listing out their non pc individual habits. It's no one's business that Maureen Stapleton smoked. Really and truly. Conversely, it's no one's business that Dana Reeve didn't.

After all, they're both dead. What does it matter?

Posted by: Kathy at 03:40 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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