...if I can't find a way to tweak the Llamas.

So, courtesy of Rob the Pious Agnostic, we have The Llama Song.

Clicket and enjoy. I know I did.

Yeah, I know this one's been floating around for a while. It will still tweak them. And, if you hadn't noticed, it's really freakin' fun to tweak those boys.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:23 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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But did you believe me? Noooooooo. Well, I've got irrefutable proof.

Hat tip: Michele

RELATED: For all the wine and boob lovers out there---and God only knows we'll never get accurate statistics on those fetishists---we have Cleavage Creek Wines, where ten percent of the proceeds go to breast cancer research.

Get drunk and save those boobies you so dearly love! Could you ask for a better deal? I think not!

UPDATE: The Wiz has inquired if there is a name generator for his, er, whatchamacalit. Since I don't have a watchamacalit, I shall lead you here and y'all can play around with it as much as you like.

Christ, I amuse myself sometimes.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:28 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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As if it was a birthday party, my Maximum Leader decided to have a Star Wars themed weekend.

Light sabers were purchased.

Go read all about it.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:41 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 I am still feeling the shame of purchasing the lightsabre. I've hidden it from family. I think that before long I'm gonna have to come clean on it. But not before I buy another one so that I can have lightsabre duels with the kids.

Posted by: The Maximum Leader at April 12, 2005 12:06 PM (jiSuM)

2 Oh, definitely come clean. I bought the husband a light saber years ago as a stocking stuffer. It sits on his desk and he loves throwing it out (it's collapsible) and, in between consulting calls, pretending he's Luke. I have mentioned that I'm married to a grown man, right? Ok, just wanted to make that one clear The kids will love it. You really do need to get another one. Our niece and nephew always clamor for that toy when they come over. It never gets old.

Posted by: Kathy at April 12, 2005 12:20 PM (RFVZA)

3 We had one of those noise making sabers here at work along with a talking Yoda doll. Lets just say my boss found it a home in the trash can when the guys ignored his "suggestion" they knock it the hell off And Yoda, well he was mutilated. Every month brough some new indignity until he had no eyelids, a beard, and was posed in odd positions with Darth. Did I mention I work with all men?

Posted by: Ith at April 12, 2005 01:50 PM (ZJHI1)

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That magnificent little bastard will be back come May 1st.

Estrogenical tyranny is BACK, baby! Set your Tivos accordingly.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:52 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The new season of Wire in the Blood starts tonight on BBC America.

Woohoo!

Posted by: Kathy at 12:42 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The husband is the resident Cake Eater Cat Hater (TM). He's deathly allergic. As such, he's just giving as good as he gets, so you cat lovers need not unite against him, ya dig? They started it.

Anyway, as you might expect, he laughed heartily when I read him this post.

I fully expect him to hijack this post and start posting in leet speak about how cats are evil.

{Hat Tip: Doug}

Posted by: Kathy at 03:06 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Chuck and Cammie got married this morning.

Good for them. They seem to be pretty happy about finally tying the knot. Best wishes to them from the Cake Eater, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I just have a few questions, though.

Given his family's historical desire to usurp the throne, why on earth would you invite this guy to be a guest though?

Isn't that just asking for trouble? Or is that just following the "keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer" mantra?

I mean, seriously. All you need is for Baldrick to show up and proclaim, "I have a cunning plan," and whoops! There goes the monarchy!

Posted by: Kathy at 01:26 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The Kath she got a good chuckle out of this.

The Kath she has really got to stop herself from the stealing of the Manolo's schtick.

But the Kath is having ever-so-much-the-fun referring to herself in the third person and adding in the extra articles for the hell of the it.

Er.

Ok, I'm out of it. Sad, but true. Bummer.

{Hat Tip: Puffy}

Posted by: Kathy at 01:58 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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My good friends and former roommates, Barb and Christy, always used to despair this time of year.

I know. It's hard to understand why, just when the lovely season that is spring would be getting underway, they would despair. The air was warming. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. The bees were buzzing. The grass was turning green and the flowers were starting to bloom. Life is wonderful come April, no?

Well, not for them it wasn't.

Why? you ask. Well, that's a good question and I'm glad you asked it. You see, Babs and Christy were, at that stage of the game, budding fashionistas. They were learning the ropes of fashion. They were learning what were good grooming habits and what were not good grooming habits. They eventually came to the conclusion that it is the social responsibility of every woman who wears sandals to have her toes painted and her feet in good working condition. That these women were letting our side down if they didn't get a pedicure before succumbing to the desire to wear airy shoes. I laughed them off for years, but now, well, I wholeheartedly agree with them. It is the social responsibility of every woman who wears sandals to have her feet in good working order because....

...if I have to see yet another woman walking around in a $300 pair of mules with nasty-ass scaly heels hanging off the back of said mules, I'm going to puke!

This action, to put it quite bluntly, is disgusting. Do you get it, ladies? Your heels are disgusting! You may think they're not that bad, but trust me, they are! I don't want to see it. I really, really don't. I doubt men do, either. If your feet repulse you; if they bring to mind the "To The Pain" speech from The Princess Bride because you're afraid that someone is going to scream, "Dear God, what is that thing?" you probably shouldn't be wearing sandals or mules, no? I'm sure The Manolo he would agree with me.

It consistently surprises the Kath that here in the fair fiefdom of Cake Eater Land, where you cannot swing a dead cat without hitting a spa (and I really mean that. there are eight---count 'em---eight spas within walking distance of the Cake Eater Pad) that there are the women who do this. And the Kath is not talking about the poor women here. The Kath is talking about the rich bitches who drive the Lexus' and the Beemers and carry the Prada handbags. These women walk into the grocery store, wearing lovely mules that the Kath would love to be able to afford and wear, and hanging off the back end of the lovely mules are heels that would make a baby scream in horror.

The Kath she begs you to get a pedicure. If you cannot afford the pedicure, the Kath beseeches you to give yourself one. The Kath she begs you to take a bath and to take one of these things with you when you do. The Kath she begs you to buy some of this stuff and to start using it every day, twice a day. But mostly, the Kath she begs you not to wear the sandals or the mules until you do these things so she does not have to look at your nasty feet in the shoes that she covets.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:06 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 The Fausta, she highly recommends the AHA Exfoliating Foot Cream of the Peter Thomas Roth, at the beauty.com (/end The Manolo mode) It's pricey, but one jar lasts a long time, and "a little dab will do". Your feet will thank you.

Posted by: Fausta at April 07, 2005 01:35 PM (G3tVf)

2 Whew! I'm glad someone said it. I'm a guy who loves the spring as I'm a leg/foot man. But, as it has become more popular to wear the strappy sandals and shoes, even women who don't have a clue are doing it.....

Posted by: Baklava at April 07, 2005 03:04 PM (ujg0T)

3 I was brought up that makeup was bad, but toenail polish was really bad. I do now wear makeup, but have never been able to bring myself to wear toenail polish So you'l just have to avert your gaze from my nekkid toes!

Posted by: Ith at April 08, 2005 12:58 AM (iu6/Z)

4 Does it count if my strappy things are just a pair of forty dollar sandals I got offsale? I don't think you'll be coveting them anytime soon, unless you like rhinestones.

Posted by: rew at April 08, 2005 09:10 AM (V1JvO)

5 Oh, Ith, you should really give it a whirl. It's so much fun. You can get a really light shade of pink or even clear polish just to get used to it. And no one need know that you've painted your toes. You can always wear closed toe shoes so you have time to adjust to it. No one ever need know

Posted by: Kathy at April 08, 2005 02:36 PM (RFVZA)

6 Rew, Actually, men (myself anyway) like the cheaper ones better (well... between $20 and $50). It's more or less the cute toes we're looking at.

Posted by: Baklava at April 08, 2005 05:22 PM (ujg0T)

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You can find previous posts here and here.

I'm a wee bit late with this one, but, as promised, I am delivering Jonathan's review of Sin City

The husband and I are going to try and see it this Saturday. I should have something for you then.

Because I know you're dying to know what I thought of it.

Posted by: Kathy at 03:45 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 I'd like to know how it compares to 'Constantine' as a graphic novel adaptation. Keanu notwithstanding;-)

Posted by: sadie at April 06, 2005 04:46 PM (PqJPh)

2 The folks here popped to see it last Sunday at the Regal Brooklyn Center. Was jolly good, you will enjoy and I look forward to reading your review!

Posted by: Puffy at April 06, 2005 08:31 PM (ddzYA)

3 If you're planning to stay for the whole movie, bring a barfbag.

Posted by: Fausta at April 07, 2005 01:36 PM (G3tVf)

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Some of the stuff that's going through my mind right now.

• Note to the boy and girl ducks that are in my yard right now: don't even THINK about getting down in my garden. The Cake Eater garden is not a duckie brothel. Go elsewhere to get your groove on.

  And don't fly up to the garage roof, either, to lay your eggs. I don't want a repeat of what happened last summer when you almost abandoned your baby ducks because you were too fucking fat and lazy to fly back up to them.

  Duck shortage in Minnesota my fine wide arse!

• Serious props go out to the deli guy at our local Lunds. Way to slice that pastrami extra thin. Mmmmmm. It was magically delicious.
• It may be almost eighty degrees right now, but it's going to snow again. I know it.
• Rainbath is the shit.
• Hey, lookie! I finally met Robbo and we partied down at the Crack Young Staff's first anniversary ball. Steve-o, unsurprisingly, was nowhere to be found. Seems as if Sadie and The Maximum Leader cut quite the rug, too.
• Thanks to everyone who has donated to the First Annual Have Your Cake Blegathon so far. You know who you are. I know who you are. God knows who you are. Your bases are covered. For the rest of you? Well, eh. Thanks to those who linked as well. You rule!
• While I like the sound of it, "Editrix" is not a word.
• It sucks that House is a rerun tonight.
• I wonder if Ith realizes that if you type "House M.D." into Google (Whilst looking for the link to the actual Fox site. Ahem.) her site is the third entry listed.
• I was up until 3:30 this morning. I am officially justified in taking a nap.
• I am going to go and take that nap. Right now. I've hit the wall.

This is yet another example, my devoted Cake Eater readers, of what it's like to be inside my head. I hope you've enjoyed the ride. Now, get out.

Posted by: Kathy at 02:55 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 Looking for the official site, eh? Actually, I did know because a whole lot of site meter referrers are coming from google searches looking for House M.D.. I click on them occasionally to see what comes up. Yeah, it does suck it's a repeat. But I'm taping it for the scenes from next week's new ep! (I can stop whenever I want) (really) (Is House to me what Vicodin is to House?)

Posted by: Ith at April 05, 2005 07:50 PM (iu6/Z)

2 That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

Posted by: Kathy at April 05, 2005 09:38 PM (RFVZA)

3 Hugh Laurie is a genius and it was a nice touch of "home" when I moved to the USA to find him on the mini-screens in series House. A spiffing chap and a fine English actor! But onto the matter that left me needing to comment... you were up until 3.30am? Holy wow! It is good to know I was not the only one! It seems everyone in our apartment was up until the wee hours of the morning with an odd case of insomnia and so were other people we talked with during the day... something in the Minnesota air perhaps? :/ Hope you sleep well tonight!

Posted by: Puffy at April 05, 2005 10:36 PM (ddzYA)

4 It was definitely something in the air. It was too delicious to miss any of it. But I was up working on some posts. Looked up at the clock and had a wee moment of shock. Then scooted off to bed. Get some sleep. I'm working on conking myself out as I write this.

Posted by: Kathy at April 05, 2005 11:19 PM (RFVZA)

5 May I dissent on the thinly sliced pastrami? As a native New Yorker, I feel qualified to tell you that the best pastrami is hand sliced by the guys at Katz's Deli and it isn't very thin at all. The slices are kind of thick, actually. In fact, I have now just been hit by a very real craving for some. *sigh* No time to go downtown and get some, either.

Posted by: RP at April 06, 2005 11:27 AM (LlPKh)

6 Of course you may dissent. But I have to say that pastrami was really brilliant. It was sliced so thin the fat in the meat was practically transparent. MMMMM. While yummy, that was more of a comment on the fact that the deli guy actually listened (for once!) on how we wanted it sliced, instead of just doing it the way they wanted to. Which happens all too often. He's new to the deli. I can't imagine that it will happen again. He'll undoubtedly become disillusioned and will adopt the habits of all the other deli workers, who don't give a crap.

Posted by: Kathy at April 06, 2005 11:53 AM (RFVZA)

7 Well, then enjoy it while it lasts and start planning a trip to NY in the meantime. If you come, I will take you to Katz's myself (my treat) and show you just why I feel my dissent is well grounded in fact and not just opinion. Damn, I have got to get myself downtown. It'd be fun if you could come along.

Posted by: RP at April 06, 2005 02:17 PM (LlPKh)

8 I might just take you up on that!

Posted by: Kathy at April 06, 2005 02:44 PM (RFVZA)

9 You should. It would be a lot of fun!

Posted by: RP at April 07, 2005 07:31 AM (LlPKh)

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To The Manolo.

{...}Formerly, the Manolo he had regarded the poncho as merely the benign if ridiculous fashion trend.

Now, the Manolo he realizes that the poncho it is the evil incarnate.

It is the loathsome seducer of the womens. It calls in the sweet voice, “I am the poncho, if you wear me I will help you conceal your flaws. I promise, your hips, they will disappear under my protective cover of man-made fibers. Look, darling, you can even make me yourself for $1.49 in the material. Choose the aqua yarn. It is pretty no?”{...}

Ahem.

The Manolo No-Poncho Pledge

“I, Kath The Cake Eater, swear on the head and/or the grave of my sainted granny to never wear, buy, knit, crochet, or fashion from the old throw rug, the poncho. And if the poncho it is given to me as the gift, I will graciously thank the giver and then, when she has left, put the poncho into the dog’s bed and/or the trash as the case she may be. Only by doing these things faithfully can I help end for the good of the humanity the scourge that is the poncho. So help me Manolo.”

{Hat tip: Fausta}

Posted by: Kathy at 11:43 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 Ugh. Yesterday at the pet store I saw some middle-aged lady wearing what I can only describe as a pink, circular version of the rag-rugs (the ones made from shredded old clothes) that we use on our kitchen floor. This has to stop.

Posted by: Steve Gigl at April 04, 2005 12:04 PM (LZ2fB)

2 A dissenting point of view: my kids love the ones my mom knit for them. Maybe ponchos are ok for kids.

Posted by: RP at April 04, 2005 02:26 PM (LlPKh)

3 Ponchos for kids are fine. They are not fine for grown women who should know better

Posted by: Kathy at April 04, 2005 04:11 PM (0X/9E)

4 I even hated the ponchos the first time around, in the 70s, the "what was I thinking" decade.

Posted by: Fausta at April 04, 2005 06:26 PM (G3tVf)

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Well, the husband and I may not have moved, but Gary and company over at Kennedy v. Dayton, The Blog Formerly Known as Kennedy v. Dayton, KENNEDY V. THE MACHINE have pulled up stakes and moved their shop to a highly spiffy new location.

From Gary's promo email:

{...}As you may know, our blog Dayton v. Kennedy
(daytonvkennedy.blogspot.com) underwent a major challenge several
weeks ago when our principal antagonist -- Minnesota Democratic
Senator Mark Dayton -- decided not to seek reelection.

For the last several weeks we have persevered by calling ourselves 'The Blog Formerly Known as Dayton v. Kennedy' or simply TBFKADVK. In spite of Dayton's withdrawal from the race, we intend to continue blogging the 2006 Minnesota Senate Race from a (Mark) Kennedy-centric perspective. And even with Senator Dayton's withdrawal our readership has continued to grow and we have been highlighted in several national publications.

To that end we undertook to both rename and redesign our blog. A link
to the new site is below. After several weeks we arrived at the name
'Kennedy vs. The Machine' -- the "machine" being the amalgamation of the DFL, Star Tribune, most local TV affiliates and all the national Leftist groups who will bring their forces to bear on Rep. Mark Kennedy over the next 18 months.{...}

Update your bookmarks/blogrolls/whateverthehellyouneedtoupdate and make sure to visit them often.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:21 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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...is what our ever magnificent Sadie has to say to those who lament the lack of "diversity" in the blogosphere.

You go, girl.

If you don't get that, well, that's not really my problem. She'll get it. And my reign as the "Goddess of Snark" will continue undisturbed.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:02 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Robbo's fourth installment of Fear and Loathing In Disneyworld is up.

Choice quote:

{...}Where normally I would have gone into a Niles Crane-like dance of frustration, here I simply ignored it, putting her on the ground and saying in my best Marty Feldman voice, "Act casual, say nothing."{...}

Go read. Shoo. Be gone.

I will only say this much: you'd better pray, Robbo, that the littlest Llama-ette never finds out that you've chronicled her---ahem---issues for the entertainment of the masses. Because, my dear pal, if she does, Disneyworld will seem like a cakewalk.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:23 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Glenn seems to be off his game today.

I wonder what's going on over there.

Posted by: Kathy at 03:18 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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