I'm a wine drinker, right?

We all know this.

I adore my Chardonnay. I really do. I'd drink red wine if I wasn't allergic to the tannins, which give me a whopper of a headache the next day if I have more than one glass. Meaning I can have two glasses of red wine and the next day I will be as hungover as W.C. Fields was everyday of his life. I took me a while to figure this out, of course, but once I did I stopped drinking the stuff, except on rare occasion. But I do like a full-bodied adult beverage when I have one. When a cocktail is in order I like a Sapphire and Tonic (lime on the bottom). I refuse to drink Rhine wines or Sauvingnon Blancs. They taste like wine that deserves a good beating. They're the proverbial skinny guy on the beach who gets buried in the sand. Same goes with frou-frou drinks that are blended and come with an umbrella. So, you can perhaps understand why Chardonnay serves my purposes beautifully. It's full bodied, but not so much so that I hate life the next morning, no matter how little of it I actually drink.

These are the things I like when it comes to boozing it up.

It should be said that I generally avoid beer. I'm not in college anymore. I don't have to drink the stuff if I don't want to. And, for the most part, I don't want to. For many reasons. But...there's a bunch of it in my fridge right now and I'm finding myself drinking it as my evening cocktail routine to clear it out.

And you know what? It's not tasting all that bad.

Hmmph.

ML and The Doctor brought some Bass Ale over the other night for dinner, because my brother-in-law is not a big wine drinker. I thought that perhaps, if I was lucky, my sister might take it home with her, but seeing as how she left more than half her temporary kitchen in my permanent one, she didn't. And she even left me one token Corona, too, so I shall have to drink that as well. No, you don't have to worry: I already have lime in the house.

I don't know why, but it's tasting pretty good. Ususally beer fills me up and leaves me feeling guilty when I invariably reminisce about how much of the stuff I charmed off cute Fraternity boys in school. And I charmed a lot of the stuff off of cute boys. Yeah, I know. I was one of those chicks. Take comfort in the fact that I do feel guilty about it. I'm assuming the fact it's tasting good is because it's hot outside, and the weather seems to demand cold beer, but who knows, really, why it's tasting good.

Perhaps it's because the stuff is free?

I'm puzzled.

Posted by: Kathy at 06:28 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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So, because of this post yesterday, which got linked by AOL's news service, I'm having a bit of a rush of new customers.

Who are all AOL subscribers.

I somewhat feel like I need a shower.

I'm also fighting the urge to update that post with a little addendum instructing them to get a real ISP. That there's a whole world out there, just waiting for them if only they'd stop being so dependent upon other people, who want to tell them where and how to surf. AOL isn't protecting anyone from spammers or viruses: they're protecting people from finding other alternatives; from exploring the world that is beyond AOL's walls. Which is really sad.

I have willfully restrained myself, however. But damn, it's hard. If I could only get one person off of AOHELL, I might have not only done that person a favor, but have also struck a blow against AOL by denying them that person's monthly protection payment. If only...

Sigh.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:26 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 "Get a real ISP!" Those are words I've spoken oh so often. Every once in a while, they listen!

Posted by: Ith at August 02, 2005 02:24 PM (P595i)

2 Hey, now. AOHell was berry, berry good to me. Of course, out of seven years I paid them for two -- the other five were gratis -- and the second I got my cable modem I didn't look back. . .but still. . . Ahh hell. Ya'll get a real ISP. AOHell is like the Interwebnet with training wheels. (Oh, and I don't miss their bandwidth governor - not one little bitty bit!)

Posted by: Margi at August 02, 2005 02:52 PM (nwEQH)

3 I wish I could remember who described AOL as being an ISP "with training wheels."

Posted by: EveningStar at August 03, 2005 02:31 PM (xr/uv)

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This certainly isn't good news.

KHARTOUM, Sudan - Violent mobs surged again into the streets of Sudan's capital Tuesday, a day after 36 people died in riots sparked by the death of Sudanese vice president and former southern rebel leader John Garang.

The initial violence Monday was blamed on Garang supporters from the Christian and animist south who blamed his death in a helicopter crash on Sudan's Muslim-dominated government, but both northerners and southerners reportedly staged attacks Tuesday after a quiet morning.

Arab gangs invaded some neighborhoods heavily populated by southerners on the outskirts of Khartoum and attacked people in the streets and raided homes, said William Ezekiel, managing editor of the Khartoum Monitor. He said some people had been shot to death.

"The Arabs are attacking them, entering their houses and looking for southerners," said Ezekiel, whose newspaper focuses largely on southern issues.

"It's a reaction to the reaction from yesterday: `Where is the government? Where are the police?'" he said.

A senior U.N. official in Khartoum said angry southerners from camps outside the capital for people displaced by the long war in southern Sudan attacked the Omdurman area. He said a Muslim imam had been slain.

"The situation is turning religious and that will be even more dangerous," he said, speaking on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to talk to journalists.

The reports of deaths Tuesday could not be independently confirmed. Officials said Monday's riots resulted in 36 people being killed and about 300 injured.

The government renewed the 6 p.m.-6 a.m. curfew first imposed Monday night, and by midafternoon downtown streets were nearly empty. An occasional siren could be heard.{...}

Oh man.

Sudan's twenty-three-year long civil war between the Northern---Muslim---government and Southern---Christian and Animist---opposition has finally been put to bed with a power sharing deal and it's threatened by this. And make no mistake about it, the peace deal is very much at risk of dissolving with Garang's death. His appointment as Vice President was a very big deal. While I still claim that this decades long civil war was fought more in the name of resources, which are scarce in the North but abundant in the South, religion does play some part in it. And it seems as if that's to be the dividing line once again with this recent violence. The new government has to quash the violence and they have to be equal about it. Any hint of favoritism will blow the peace accord right out of the water: these people are used to fighting; they may want peace, but they know initmately how that peace was obtained and if Bashir, the Northern President, doesn't follow the terms of the deal in relation to quashing the violence, it will be seen by the Southerners as proof that a. they actually did kill Garang and b. they never meant to follow through with the terms of the peace deal in the first place. Even though the SPLM is Garang's organization, and they have denied that the accident was anything other than an accident, it's been reported that they did as much killing of southerners as did the Northern army. If I were a Southern Sudanese, I'd be just as wary of them and anything they had to say as I would be of the Northerners.

Whether or not Bashir will actually do what is needed to salvage the deal is anyone's best guess. It will be interesting to see who rises to take Garang's VP slot. If Bashir appoints a northerner, someone loyal to him, it's a sure sign that's he's going to renege and that the Civil War will flare back up again.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:06 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Go and read this interview with Joss Whedon.

You won't be sorry.

{Hat Tip: Jonathan}

Posted by: Kathy at 02:18 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Courtesy of the Taxpayers League of Minnesota and Freedom Dogs:

Heh.

Considering I was actually---genuinely and sincerely---thanked by a teacher last week at Walgreens when I was buying smokes (she was in buying---ahem---SCHOOL SUPPLIES FOR THE KIDS IN HER CLASSROOM WHO CAN'T AFFORD THEM! Out of her own pocket, mind you. She wasn't going to be reimbursed.), these actually go over rather well. Unfortunately, I had to let the teacher down. I told her not to hold her breath (ha ha, aren't I funny?) as I would be buying smoky treats online soon because it would be too expensive when the "Health Impact Fee" kicked in. Not to mention, I did mention, that I had issues with being taxed to make up for laziness and lies of our state politicians. If it was a "fee," I reasoned aloud, wasn't I allowed to ignore said "fee" and exhibit my rights as a consumer to go elsewhere? If the Governor says it's not a "tax" well, then, am I not covered if I don't want to pay it by going someplace I could avoid paying that "fee"? Her face fell and you could see the gears grinding; the thought of future budget shortfalls running like mad through her head. I told her, quite bluntly, to lobby her fellow union members to fire some of their good-for-nothing union administrators and to clean up the local school administration's money sucking bureaucracy to make up the impending shortfall.

She wasn't quite so "thankful" then, I must admit.

{Hat Tip: Bogus Doug}

Posted by: Kathy at 12:42 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I've always adored Lauren Bacall. I adore her even more today:

NEW YORK -Lauren Bacall has a few unkind words to say about
Tom Cruise. In an interview in the Aug. 8 issue of Time magazine, now on newsstands, the 80-year-old actress says, "When you talk about a great actor, you're not talking about Tom Cruise."

"His whole behavior is so shocking," she says. "It's inappropriate and vulgar and absolutely unacceptable to use your private life to sell anything commercially, but I think it's kind of a sickness."{...}

BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!

"When you talk about a great actor, you're not talking about Tom Cruise." Oh, tee hee. He has been so vulgar. Great word choice, Lauren. You can just hear her saying it, can't you? I heart Lauren!

I cannot freakin' wait to hear what poor excuse Tommy Boy comes up with to blow Lauren off. That should be good. Do you think he'll just brush it off by claiming she was on anti-depressants?

Posted by: Kathy at 12:05 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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Yeah, I'm stealing the title from Robbo, but hey, I'm still pooped, hence am lacking in creativity at the moment. Sue me.

Anyway, as mentioned on Friday, the husband celebrated his thirty-fifth birthday that day. This momentous date, of course, demanded a party. The husband decided he wanted to cook for his birthday, which can only be considered odd until you take in the fact that I do most of the cooking around here. He likes to cook, so he looked in the freezer, decided to work mostly with what we had (He does like to clear things out on occasion, even if it leaves us with an empty freezer.) and came up with a fabulous, if not overly meaty, meal of roast pork tenderloin, itty-bitty hamburgers, and lightly breaded and spiced chicken breasts that had been pounded into submission, stuffed with crab stuffing and tied up into little chicken packages with leek strings. We had salad and steamed artichokes, too, just in case you were wondering if we were all going to come down with scurvy for lack of greens. Of course, the Doctor and M.L. came over for supper, and then my sister and her husband and three children, fresh from the lake, arrived, just in time to quaff adult beverages and eat the food. Since this was an "adult" dinner party, we threw the kids into the office, toute suite, which conveniently also happens to have a tee vee and a door that closes, to watch The Incredibles. Not a peep was heard from them until it was time to blow out the birthday candles on the tiramisu. Then they all ran back into the office and waited patiently for someone to start the tape back up. (Whoops! My bad.)

Since we had decided to go here on Saturday afternoon, Christi dragged me out for the obligatory "I need to see if the fabric stores up here have something I can't find in Omaha" shopping trip. Fortunately, Christi is well aware of my general loathing of all things fabric store-y and kept the trip short. Phew. My leg only twitched once during the trip, and I swear, it was completely unintentional on my part. Then we came back for lunch and headed off to the pool for the afternoon.

I must highly recommend the Edina Aquatic Center if you're looking for a kiddie friendly afternoon in the Twin Cities on a hot summer afternoon. It's got everything you could ask for: a kiddie playland for the wee ones in the middle of a zero-depth pool; two waterslides; an olympic pool for swimming; two diving boards; and a zip line that drops the hanger-on into the deep end of the pool after sliding them across part of the width, six feet up. It was loads of fun, and not only for the kids. The husband and I had a great time as well. The intertube waterslide is a blast, and if you have more than one adult in your party, well, know that if you squish two adults onto a tube you can fly like the wind down the slide due to the Laws of Physics. Good fun, no?

Later on we came back to the house, rested for a while, and then shot off for dinner and then went back to the Aquatic Center for a bit of evening swimming. When we got back to the house, the kids were completely wiped out (which was the plan, in case you were wondering) but not so wiped out that they didn't want to give Uncle Mike his birthday treat: fireworks. They know Uncle Mike adores blowing stuff up, so they came well prepared with roman candles, spinners, a parachute thingy, fountains and poppers (those little bits of paper with a bit of gunpowder in them that "pop" when you throw them on the ground). The kids had a great time and the quote for the evening came from James, who after closely examining a little paper tank loaded with fireworks that had become somewhat squished in their travels, scoffed at the husband's concern that something might go wrong, and said, "Just light the thing, old man!" After he finished laughing, the husband was so proud of his little protege he was about to burst. Future Pyros of America, indeed.

Once everyone was settled, and we were all about ready to drop, everyone else received the privilege of dropping, but I had to go over to el aeroporto to pick up Mr. H., who spent last week in L.A. on vacation. Oh, my. Needless to say, I was not pleased with Northworst Airlines. They'd printed on his ticket that his flight arrived at 11:10 pm. And I was there, ready and waiting for him a few minutes early in case they caught a tailwind, which does happen quite often with flights coming in from the west coast. I thought I'd be back home and in bed by 11:45. Turns out, however, Northworst had changed the arrival time from 11:10 to 11:37. OY! By the time he got down to baggage claim (they unloaded the plane at the very last gate on the Gold Concourse, which as anyone who's ever flown through MSP International could tell you is about a mile long and takes forever to traverse.) we claimed his bag, and got back to the Cake Eater Pad it was well past midnight and Kathy was a sleepy girl. Mr. H. however had a great time in La La Land and highly recommends a trip to see King Tut at The Los Angeles County Museum of Art if you happen to visit the greater Lou-Lou-Land metropolitan area.

Yesterday, sadly, everyone headed home and the husband and I decided to decamp to the living room to recover from the whirlwind. We watched loads of crap tee vee and napped. Amazingly enough, the kids did not leave one single thing behind! I'm shocked, but fully expect to find a Hot Wheels under the sofa the next time I vacuum under there. I do have a load of food and a half a case of diet Mountain Dew in the fridge. Christi always leaves me loads of food and drink whenever she comes to visit. After a week in a cabin, she always arrives with enough food leftover to feed an army for a day (or two people for a week). She claims she doesn't want to take it home, but really I think she thinks we're starving or something like that, because our fridge just isn't as full as she thinks it should be. I think she completely forgets we're a family of two instead of five, so it's just never going to have as much stuff in it as her fridge does. So, if anyone wants half a case of Diet Mountain Dew let me know and it's yours.

Regular blogging will resume shortly. Like later in the day.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:41 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Just to let my devoted Cake Eater Readers know...

...it's the husband's 35th birthday today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEETHEART!

Posted by: Kathy at 08:35 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 Thanks. Can I have my midlife crisis now? (Damn, already used that one.)

Posted by: MRN aka "The Husband" at July 29, 2005 08:56 AM (QKvIa)

2 You mean you already had your midlife crisis. Let's be clear about these things, m'dear

Posted by: Kathy at July 29, 2005 08:58 AM (QKvIa)

3 Happy birthday Kathy's husband. You can use my midlife crisis if you want, the missus won't let me have it.

Posted by: phin at July 29, 2005 09:00 AM (Xvpen)

4 Happy birthday to The Husband!

Posted by: Fausta at July 29, 2005 09:44 AM (Hf7u/)

5 Happy Birthday, Kathy's Hubby!

Posted by: Ith at July 29, 2005 12:25 PM (WbPn3)

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This announcement will annoy some people, but hey, I feel the need to brag!

I'm leaving town for the day. WooT! Exciting stuff, no? I haven't been out of the Cities since, well, last October. This is heady stuff for moi. I can't wait.

Anyway, the Cake Eater Sister and her family are out at a lake a couple of hours west of here and the husband and I are going to visit for the day. Hence, you're all SOL as far as blogging entertainment is concerned. I know, you're bereft and all that jazz. Well, all I can really tell you is that you'll live. Maybe not happily, but you'll live nonetheless.

Things should be back to normal on Thursday. Have a great day!

Posted by: Kathy at 12:00 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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...without whom I would have never scored so high. (Although, I think it was the Pong questions that really helped me score the big points!)

This is proof that I know just enough about computers to be dangerous.

{Hat Tip: Robbo, who really is a nerd}

UPDATE: From MRN aka "The Husband"

Posted by: Kathy at 02:44 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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A bit of a thirty-five year fast-forward for some of your favorite bloggers.

I particularly like the one about Robbo. Heh. And, in case you were wondering, Sadie's going to dethrone Ann Coulter. {Insert sorts of glee here} Someone needs to show that leggy bitch who's boss and Sadie's just the girl to do it.

Posted by: Kathy at 02:27 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 I absolutely LOVED Robbo's blurb. Heh heh. Can I quote you on the rest of that?

Posted by: sadie at July 26, 2005 03:36 PM (7SNDe)

2 Of course

Posted by: Kathy at July 26, 2005 03:50 PM (QKvIa)

3 Awesome. Thanks, Kath;-)

Posted by: sadie at July 26, 2005 05:25 PM (xV63t)

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The husband's birthday is on Friday and his sister just stopped by to drop off his present. The kids accompanied her, and since wrapping paper and bows were involved, they insisted the husband open his present up early.

He received an autographed book: Fence Line by Curtis Bauer

Curt is one of the husband's friends from high school. Apparently, they played football together and bonded on their high school's trip to Germany. What's more is that we believe that the "Michael Nelson" listed in the author's acknowledgements is, indeed, the husband. (There are a lot of Michael Nelsons in the world, so it could be someone else, but we don't think it is.)

Pretty cool, eh?

So, if you like poetry and would like to give an Iowa boy a leg up, go and buy his book. Christopher Buckley liked his stuff, so if you need legitimate literary props before you spend money on such a thing, you're covered.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:21 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I'm repeating this just for the sake of repeating it. Because Sheryl Crow's "performance" at the Tour de France on Sunday made me want to smack her upside the head. So, I'm being nasty just for the sake of being nasty. {Insert slapping of hand here. Oooh, that hurt. Rolls eyes.}

Some twelve years ago, I was introduced to one of the husband's fraternity brothers. We'll call him R. At the time, R. was dating a lovely girl who we shall call J. J. and I hit it off instaneously. R. married J. about a month after we got married and we and have been good friends ever since. R. is a cycling fanatic and he's translated that love into a great career working for a world renowned cycling company. Recently, he was transferred from the U.S. to Switzerland. I don't know precisely what his job entails for the company anymore, but I do know that for some of the Tour he got to work support crew, helping to take care of their bikes. I'm assuming this was a dream come true for him, considering that in his spare time he used to assemble bikes from free spare parts. (He actually made an all titanium bike. You could pick it up with one finger! He loves titanium so much that his wedding ring is made out of titanium.) Anyway, R. and J. were in Paris over the weekend, and had some great seats in the bleachers and backstage access to the riders. They also got to ride in the parade with the support crew, just behind their riders. Anyway, to get on to the perhaps not-so-juicy Sheryl Crow gossip, I quote from J.'s email:

{...}After he spoke at the Podium his girlfriend Sheryl Crow's song was played on the loud speakers. It was SO TACKY. Everyone groaned, of course. She wanted some attention too !

His ex-wife and their nanny were the women you saw on the TV next to ol
Sheryl. The rumors all over that day were that Sheryl was flown to Switzerland to a fertility clinic to be artificially inseminated with some of Lance's healthy sperm. Not sure if it true- you back in the States would know more about that tabloid gossip than me ! Anyway, Sheryl wants to get married and Lance is going to take it easy{...}

Heheheheh. I can almost buy it, can't you? Tee hee.

My bad. I know. I'm a horrible person, but I couldn't quite resist.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:43 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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If you like comedians who don't take prisoners, might I suggest you tune into Mind of Mencia on Comedy Central on Wednesday nights? (That linky there is NSFW, ya dig? Unless you've got headphones. Because it's profane. It's good but it made me, who swears like a sailor, blush. That should tell you something.)

Check it out if you get the chance.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:09 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Is it one of those viral marketing sort of things, or what? Not that I have a coin to phrase, but rather that I like one that I read about in today's Financial Times. {Ed. If you're wondering why I'm suddenly citing FT articles, well, we recently got a subscription to the paper at the Cake Eater Pad. It's a good deal, too. Six days a week at $100/yr. My fellow Twin Cities residents who are frustrated with the Strib might want to look into this option.} The phrase in question: neo-Croms.

{...}Mr Flatters, chief executive of Future Foundation, the research group, thinks a tendency to take a po-faced attitude to the indulgences of others is on the increase. He has even turned this into a trend: the rise of the neo-Croms - short for neo-Cromwellians, in a nod to the censorious 17th century English statesman.

Neo-Croms support curtailing the consumption of alcohol, smoking, rich foods and some technology on health grounds and patronage of SUVs, budget airlines and mass tourism on environmental ones. To their critics, however, they seem keenest on regulating other people.

Mr Flatters said: "There is a culture out there in favour of restricting other people's pleasures. If you're a smoker but don't drink, then you are quite happy to see regulation on drinking. This is an assault on pleasure and many businesses are likely to see more regulation."

Evidence for the prosecution include calls by neo-Croms for tighter regulation of advertising for fast food and children's brands in European markets; smoking bans in New York, the Irish Republic, Sweden, Norway and Italy; and protests against SUV sales.

The most jaw-dropping claim made by the Future Foundation is that in a poll of 1,000 UK adults, 30 per cent agreed that pregnant women should receive a police caution for smoking in public.{...}

The rest of the article ponders the wisdom of actually gearing marketing towards these neo-Croms. It seems this might just be a fad, instead of a trend. Hence, the backlash could be huge against companies who gear marketing campaigns toward these people.

Which is hopeful, no?

In any case, spread the phrase around. It deserves wider recognition and is much classier than "smoking Nazis."

Posted by: Kathy at 10:36 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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You knew it had to happen, right?

"Left Behind: Eternal Forces" is a real-time strategy game set in New York during the End of Days, which will allow gamers to choose between the angelic Tribulation Forces and the demonic Global Community Peacekeepers in a multiplayer online mode. The game is set to ship before Easter.

Left Behind CEO Troy Lyndon said the books have a diverse loyal reader base of more than 10 million parents, single adults, teens and kids. He said the company, which was founded in October 2001, will invest more money and resources into its first game than any Christian game has ever seen. Lyndon also said his games will be sold at Wal-Mart, which accounts for about 25% of all game sales.

"If only 10% of the readership buys our game, it will be a top hit, selling more than 1 million units," Lyndon said.

Pidgeon said that while a game success on the level of Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" movie might be possible down the road with a big franchise like "Left Behind," films are still much more accessible to the Christian demographic than video games.{...}

The husband, Mr. MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games) himself has confidently predicted that everyone is going to want to be an evil Global Community Peacekeeper, no matter how much they love the Lord.

{Hat Tip: Steeeeeve-o.}

Posted by: Kathy at 09:04 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I present for your perusal an interesting article from this weekend's Financial Times about the hows and whys of the Sicilian mafia's ability to live on in this day and age.

The author grew up in Sicily, but moved to London to start a law practice and has since become a novelist. The anecdotes she shares are startling, if for no other reason than that they show the Sicilian populace's willing participation in the system of "clientelism" that brings the mafia its power. Even if the participation is that of the unthinking variety:

{...}”Mafiosita” lurks within me, and it came out powerfully last summer. I was at our family estate in Sicily. My grandchild cut his hand; while I was holding him in my arms, blood flowed copiously. I rushed to the telephone and called a friend: “Whom do you know at A&E?”, I asked. Had I been in London, I would have gone straight to the local hospital.

I thought long and hard on that episode, and was shamed. Distrustful of the ability of the local health service to deliver services without an “introduction”, I had resorted to the “known ways”: personal contact. My friend is just a friend, but for people less privileged than I, the Mafia is always ready - at a price - to be the “best of all friends”, and it has friends in all places. Sciascia was right: there is “something of the Mafia” in each of us. My father would have been ashamed of me.{...}

Go read the whole thing. It's fascinating.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:59 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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...wherein a good fifty people who came to the Cake Eater Chronicles on a daily basis to read said crap have gone on vacation for what seems is the entire month of July.

The little traitors.

What is it with you people, eh? I put out perfectly good content, day in and day out, to amuse/educate/enlighten y'all and you people desert me, like rats from a barge loaded with bat guano, the minute the weather turns nice. Oh, sure. I provide a great escape from your troubles in the winter, but when summer comes around, well, it's a Wham, Bam, I'm Off To the Beach, Ma'am situation.

Pfft.

Get with the program and start pumping my sitemeter back up or I'll export all the labor of this here operation to India. Then I'll sic Lou Dobbs on you. He'll start plugging "The Exporting of the Cake Eater Chronicles" on his newshour. He'll interview me and in reply, when he starts cutting into me for my behavior, I'll say, "Hey, Lou, what do you want me to do? I'm apparently too expensive for my readers. I've got to cut costs somewhere, and labor is my biggest cost. A typing monkey in Bangalore is much cheaper than I am and is bound to attract more American readers, given that their particular tastes run to Asian Lesbian pr0n." Lou will be saddened by the news, but, surprisingly, he will finally get a grip, take things in context and he will understand. In response, he will turn on you my not-so-devoted Cake Eater readers, and it'll be ugly.

So, save yourself the trouble of being flogged day in and day out by Lou Dobbs, my-soon-to-be-devoted-again Cake Eater readers, and get with the program, ya dig?

You honestly don't want to have to wash that hairshirt every day, do you?

Posted by: Kathy at 12:43 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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So, have you seen this beast yet?

It appears some fishermen caught this 1,100 pound bugger off of Martha's Vineyard for a shark catching contest or something like that. Apparently, they didn't win the prize because they were six minutes late getting back into port. Which is a bloody shame if you ask me, but anyway...over at Galley Slaves, where I found this, one astute, yet anonymous, commenter left what I consider to be the Best. Comment. Ever.

I can't believe they are parading Ted Kennedy around like that...

{Insert copious snorts of glee here}

Posted by: Kathy at 01:02 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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With a heartwarming tale from his days on a lawn crew, Chad reminds us that, "Stoned, paranoid, and stupid is no way to go through a day at work."

Posted by: Kathy at 12:47 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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