A couple of things...

• I need to extend a large "thank you" to my assorted guest bloggers who filled in for me while I was gone. You people are fabulous.

  I also need to explain why I did not buy cheap Mexican trinkets that I promised my guest bloggers. Because I think some of you are counting on them. And I'm sorry to say that I wanted to buy you stuff but, damn, I just didn't have the time. We really were in Mexico for only a half-hour, and by the end of that half-hour my anal-retentive, obsessive-compulsive (there ain't no "borderline" about it) father-in-law was vibrating so badly at the thought of walking around further in dirty downtown Nogales, replete with beggars and salesmen saying, "I need your dollars!", one would have thought he was a Magic Fingers bed and someone had inserted a roll of quarters into the coin box. He couldn't handle it, and we couldn't handle him, so we left without the requisite schlock.

  Sorry about that, but hell, you didn't really want a tile frog or something like that, did you?

• The Oscars are this Sunday and, yes, I will be liveblogging them. Coverage will start with the preshows at 5p.m. CST. As per usual, I'll keep updating with snark galore if you'll keep refreshing.

And there was something else, but I've completely forgotten what it was. Oh, well. You'll just have to live without whatever bit of information I was going to jot down, aren't you? Somehow, I think you'll manage.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:39 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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It's been said that the way to know a man is by the company he keeps.

TORONTO (AP) — It took an old Bond to come to the rescue of the new Bond. Roger Moore, who played Agent 007 in seven of the James Bond movies, said critics of the film franchise’s new star, Daniel Craig, should give him a chance.

“He’s a helluva good actor,” said Moore, 78, noting that critics haven’t even seen Craig in the role yet. “So why attack him?”

{...}He also dismissed suggestions that Bond is obsolete in a post-Cold War, post-9/11 world, where real terrorists like Osama bin Laden and al-Qaida have trivialized such Bondian super-villains and organizations as Goldfinger, Blofeld and SMERSH.

“It’s fantasy,” counters Moore. “Bond is fantasy, there’s no real substance to it. It’s a figment of imagination. ... (It’s) sort of crazy, you know, a spy who is recognized wherever he goes. Spies ain’t like that.”

When the Disco Bond(TM) rushes to your defense, well, you really are the Pussy Bond (TM), aren't you?

In related news: Ford stockholders shit truckloads of golden eggrolls when they learn how much Ford paid to get the Pussy Bond (TM) to drive their Mondeo model in Casino Royale.

One can only hope Ford sent an automatic version to the set.

Posted by: Kathy at 09:45 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Die you rotten comment spammer bastards, DIE!

Posted by: Kathy at 10:09 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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It was a good trip.

And I got some sun.

If you were looking for more than that, my devoted Cake Eater readers, well, check back later and I'll see what I can do about fulfilling your desire to know all.

UPDATE: I ate way too much, too.

UPDATE DEUX: Oh, and I went to Mexico for about, oh, a half an hour.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:09 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Oh so bloody tired.

And, yeah, we're home. It's been a loooooooooooong day and I will recap the trip for you, my devoted Cake Eater readers, tomorrow. I'm going to go and pour myself some more wine and then take a nice long soak in my own tub. From whence I will fall into my own bed and sleep the sleep of the righteous.

It's pleasant to be home. It's always weird to walk into your house when you come home. There's that little bit of anxiety that something won't be right, but once you get the mail, haul the suitcases in, unlock the doors, turn on the lights, etc., the world slowly begins to right itself. That's when you find out what you didn't get done before you had to leave the house at five am because your ride to the airport was getting antsy. As far as I can tell there were only two things that did not get done before we left the house last week.

The first was that the dishwasher didn't get started.

If you feel like being grossed out---AND I REALLY MEAN THAT. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED!---take the jump for the second thing that didn't get done before we left the house on Thursday, February 23rd. more...

Posted by: Kathy at 10:00 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Hey everyone, Cake-eating Kathy returns from her southwest adventures today. Let's welcome her home with the time-honored practice of crafting some bad haikus in her honor. I'll start:

She returns today
From places sunny but far
Hope she brought me stuff

Kathy loves her wine
Even when sheÂ’s drinking in
A southwest desert

Guest blogging this week
Was truly cakealiscious
Ripping weenie Bond

Posted by: Doug at 03:27 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Let's say you are camping somewhere down under and a fourteen foot croc grabs one of your camping buddies and starts to drag him off. What would you do?

Well, this sixty-year-old granny jumped on his back and just about had her arm torn off; however, she hung on long enough for friend to get away and her son to shoot and kill it.

Now she has been awarded Australia's highest civilian bravery award, the Star of Courage.

If that were not enough, here's a story of a South African guy who lost his wedding ring legitimately, a croc ate it, along with his arm...

G'day, Mates!

Posted by: Christina at 07:01 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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...there's a new holiday popping up everyday.

Posted by: Kathy at 05:16 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Blogging blogging a childlike egocentrism, and with few exceptions, we know little about the bloggers that we read. Of course, most of us claim the what you see is what you get defense, but surely we do hide some facets of our personality from our audience.

My old drinking buddy, Bruce, once detailed his blogging personality for me, which made me ponder things. In person, his demeanor is quite soft-spoken, and as much as he is embarrassed when I mention this, he is quite polite and would do just about anything within his power for a friend. In his writings, however, he appears very abrasive at times. Perhaps the context of his blog facilitates this temporary personality, since his main subject of discussion is political and social commentary.

As to myself, Sadie exists as a mere part of the person behind her. Like every other blogger, this girl behind the girl is multifarious, and trust me, I'm only 25% interesting. Fortunately, most days that percentage shows through in the writing, so what I blog about is indeed truthful, yet amplified. For example - Sadie the Blogger is stunningly beautiful and can do quadratic equations in her head. Sadie the Person Sadie is pretty cute and vaguely remembers quadradic equations, but I can recite several jokes about them. Does that count?

How does your blogging persona differ from your reality-based self?

Posted by: Sadie at 04:07 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 Hm. I swear more in real life, and I think I am much less outgoing in reality than I am in blogland. I often get a kick out of the way people perceive me to look, based upon my blog, but who am I to disappoint them?

Posted by: Theresa at February 28, 2006 04:31 PM (EBrPa)

2 I'm way more obnoxious in real life land ;-)

Posted by: Oddybobo at February 28, 2006 04:35 PM (6Gm0j)

3 Real life Robbo: "Well, ah, hmmm....I mean, well, I'm a little more self conscious and stuff, and, erm, really kind of boring....." Robbo the Llama: "Sadie, tell us more about this 'girl behind the girl' thing."

Posted by: Robert the Llama Butcher at February 28, 2006 04:54 PM (IkTb7)

4 I'm SO much more obnoxious in blogland than in real life. And Robbo the LLama, I'll see what I can do.

Posted by: Sadie at February 28, 2006 06:29 PM (cP0Aq)

5 I swear less on my blog, and I am funnier and thinner.

Posted by: caltechgirl at February 28, 2006 06:56 PM (/vgMZ)

6 My blog persona swears a bit less, is less sarcastic and keeps his pants on more.

Posted by: phin at February 28, 2006 10:31 PM (DGPlf)

7 Generally, the only time I talk like my blog persona in real life is when I'm fairly well drunk or have a major case of the flu -- otherwise, I'm usually a great deal less circumspectly verbose and a whole lot more economically taciturn. Oh, and I curse *much* worse (and more often) in person, too...

Posted by: Rex Ferric at February 28, 2006 10:53 PM (dbIxW)

8 I'm more outgoing in my blog. Yep, these days the "real GroovyVic" is becoming more sedate. I'm actually boring in real life.

Posted by: GroovyVic at March 01, 2006 05:57 AM (L3+yC)

9 ... actually, Sadie, you were pretty quiet when I met you... which struck me hard... you just kept taking notes for some reason... .. and yes, I still worry about those notes from time to time....

Posted by: Eric at March 01, 2006 06:35 PM (r5XsL)

10 Heh. No worries, Eric. You were an upstanding citizen. ;-)

Posted by: Sadie at March 01, 2006 08:10 PM (xV63t)

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Since I've only got another day until I have to hand in the keys to this blog, I'd better get with it. Lovers of mechanical devices rejoice! Consider this the "Carnival of Russ' favorite British motorcycles".

Kenny Dreer Norton. Kenny Dreer is an exceptionally gifted mechanic from the Pacific Northwest. He's a part owner of the Norton brand now, but up until a couple of years ago, he specialized in restoring old Norton Commandos. It got to the point where he had to manufacture so many of the parts himself, he said "screw this, let's just make them ourselves". He's trying to remake the brand with a new design for a Commando. I hope it works, but the classics are just plain SUHWEEEET.

Vincent Rapide and pictures of Rollie Free's famous run at the Bonneville Salt Flats on his Vincent (note the pictures of Bert Hopwood's Indian near the top of this page). Rollie couldn't get over 150 on his bike, even with his radical riding position, so he stripped off all his leathers and rode with a swimsuit only. There's also a song dedicated to the 1952 Vincent Black Lightning, from Richard Thompson.

BSA thumbnail pictures (the BSA gold star is a special favorite of mine)

For my money, the most attractive "thumper" (big single-cylinder bike) ever produced is the Matchless G80.

Let's see, motorcycles, the Olympics, and siege engines. That leaves beer and firearms as topics left on the table (I promised Kathy prOn wouldn't be used as a topic).

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at 01:05 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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In our previous post about the New Bond Sissygate scandal, we neglected to note that new Bond actor Daniel Craig is also scared of boats:

As the 37-year-old actor got off the Royal Marines speedboat which brought him along the Thames to his unveiling as Bond, he revealed the high-speed ride had terrified him.

The Cake Eater fill in blogger regrets the error (by which we mean the error of ever casting this sorry excuse for James Bond).

Posted by: Doug at 11:12 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 The first thing Mr. Craig needs to do is go down to "Q branch" and sign out a new pair of "mangerines". Boats, guns, fighting, stick shifts. What is he going to do in this role, swat spiders with rolled-up copies of the Guardian?

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at February 27, 2006 01:09 PM (wZLWV)

2 "What is he going to do in this role, swat spiders with rolled-up copies of the Guardian?' LMAO Nice.

Posted by: MRN aka "The Husband" at February 28, 2006 10:12 AM (CzHLI)

3 Did you see this: http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006090531,00.html The moron is now sunburned, too. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

Posted by: Chrissy at February 28, 2006 12:04 PM (QnpBk)

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Yesterday, while working near Des Moines, I stopped by Barnes & Noble to use the birthday gift certificate my in-laws gave me last week. I managed to read Bernard Goldberg's "100 People Who Are Screwing Up America (and Al Franken is #37)" this morning, and I've gotta say that he's nailed it pretty well. My only concern is that we conservatives should have more of our brethren on the list. Sure, he's got Jimmy Swaggart (filthy hypocrite who can't really be considered a conservative IMHO), Ken Lay & the guy from Tyco (conservatives? I don't know, but Gordon Gekko-types like these are usually lumped into the conservative/Republican camp), Michael Savage, and some nutter who murdered an abortion doctor in front of his family.

I'd like to think that conservatives would at least be doing as much to destroy the fabric of America, through both action and inaction, than liberals are doing. Where's that famous "protestant/midwestern work ethic" we're always talking about? Shouldn't we be embarrassed that liberals are outworking us on this issue?

Why aren't we doing more to screw up the country, and why do I feel like signing this entry as "General 'Buck' Turgidson"?

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at 10:02 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I'm a guy. There, I've said it. That, and the fact that I've got a degree in civil engineering, makes my interests gravitate towards mechanical devices and their design. Quilting (which the Mrs. likes to do), will continue to remain a mystery to me - unless someone comes up with a way to shave one c.c. of material from the combustion chamber of said quilt and increase it's horsepower by 27% without increasing fuel consumption. Or maybe they'll come up with a new powder that allows said quilt to shoot with a flatter trajectory that increases it's effective range out to 900 yards instead of the normal 600.

My wife generally puts up with my obsessions, but she sometimes draws the line. Fortunately for me, she usually draws the line at reasonable places, like rebuilding the engine of a 1963 Aeromacchi Sprint Model C on our coffee table (I can do it on the old beat-up coffee table in the basement, but not on our "Sunday Go-To-Meetin" one in the living room), or decorating our guest bedroom with reproduction posters of original Russian-language drawings showing the correct way to break down and maintain the 1895 Nagant revolver in 7.62mm (prints of ducks and deer are OK). She's even gotten me items from the local flea market as Christmas presents that warm my poor little trailer-trash heart: a 4-foot tall inflatible bottle of Shiner Bock and an old Schlitz beer sign with a lighted keg that throws disco-ball beams of light across the room. Don't tell her I said this, but I'm a pretty lucky guy. Last year for Christmas, she bought me a new shotgun after seeing me dither and blather on for a couple of years about wanting a new one to replace my battered but trusty Mossberg 500 but never actually doing anything until "I can find one on the sale to end all sales". After that, I told her that she's covered for Christmas, birthday, valentines, anniversary and even groundhog day presents for the next couple of years, but bless her heart she ignored me (like she is wont to do on other issues).

She's outdone herself this year. For my birthday last weekend, she did her shopping at THIS website. This gift makes that stupid freakin' pony I got back in third grade look like a pair of dress socks by comparison. more...

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at 02:02 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Partisan politics is, well, partisan, i.e., polarizing. Each camp looks around and declares: "Either you are for us or against us."

I have a confession: I like Angelina Jolie.

Yes, she is sexy and attractive.

No, her politics are not my own; however, she is also damned smart and a woman of conviction.

I am not in the least interested in her bisexuality or even her relationship with that bit of fluff Pitt (however, she may be bringing out the mettle of conviction in him).

I applaud her work as a UN Ambassador (even though I think that institution is dated and ineffective) because she has been able to bring exposure to blighted areas of the world and make even my jaded heart care about the children afflicted. I further commend her willingness to adopt children in dire need of good care and loving homes, not to mention food on a regular basis.

In my most humble opinion, her efforts are a net positive, unlike a number of her celebrity colleagues: Sean Penn, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, George Clooney, and Barbara Streisand.

Apparently, to this observer, Angelina and Bono are two celebrities who know how to get things done in D. C.

The formula is rather simple, in fact:

1) "ignore(s) the George Clooney, Michael Moore, and Babs strategy of trashing all things Republican"

2) "Instead of blasting the establishment like Barbra Streisand, sending antiwar E-mails like Martin Sheen, or just mouthing off like Ted Nugent, they're working inside the system to get what they want in attention and money"

3) "Avert partisanship and learn the issues"

4) "'You need to know when to keep your mouth shut.' A West Wing bigwig praises the duo for avoiding clichéd name-calling. 'It is the new civility, and it works.'"

So there it is, be a successful celebrity with a cause, do your homework, show that you are concerned and committed. Do not "just show up at an event and smile for the cameras."

Perhaps, there's a lesson in here for all of us.

Posted by: Christina at 09:13 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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A few quick items before I go and veg in front of the tee vee set.

• 

  This is the view from the in-laws' backyard. Yeah. I know. It sucks to be me.

• Robbo will be pleased to hear that I started Master and Commander today after finishing the interminable Name of the Rose, which I was determined to finish even though that book is like foreplay with a premature ejaculator (and if you don't get what that means, I'm not telling you.) Anyway I'm not very far into M&C but I'm already having a hard time telling why dearest Robbo has a problem with Russell Crowe in the role of Capt. Jack Aubrey.

  {...}The listener farther to the left was a man of between twenty and thirty whose big form overflowed his seat, leaving only a streak of gilt wood to be seen here and there. He was wearing his best uniform---the white lapelled blue coat, white waistcoat, breeches and stockings of a lieutenant in the Royal Navy, with the silver medal of the Nile in his buttonhole---and the deep white cuff of his gold-buttoned sleeve beat the time while his bright blue eyes, staring from what would hav been a pink and white face if it had not been so deeply tanned, gazed fixedly at the bow of the first violin.{...}

  Ummm, what's the dealio here, Robbo?

• I got to experience Arizona viticulture today. We did a tour of wineries in this area and while two out of three sucked bullets, the third was truly something to write home about. Callaghan Vineyards. If you have room for storage, buy their wines. I really mean that. Their wine is nice to taste---and I did enjoy tasting a few---this is wine that will age BEAUTIFULLY. And I really mean that. A few years in glass will do wonders for this stuff---and it's pretty damn good to begin with.

  I tried the 2004 Syrah, Zinfandel and Claire. This Syrah is truly marvelous: rich, full-bodied and spicy, it could give any number of Californians that I've tasted a run for their money. The Zin wasn't as tasty or as impressive as the Syrah---it was a bit on the fruity side---and was a bit weaker than I expected it to be, but it was still quite lovely. The Claire, however, was bloody spectacular. That is a wine that in ten years will be wine you open up to celebrate special occasions, like when babies are born or your children get engaged and you're having a special dinner. It's a wonderful and special wine.

  I know what you're thinking: local winery action, oh joy. That last bit was undoubtedly accompanied by an eye roll, wasn't it? I'm sure it was. Because I know I've thought the same things, but really and truly, Callaghan has the potential to become a very important winery in the years to come. I was floored when I tasted their wines. I was expecting more MD 20/20 that I'd received at the previous two wineries, which shall go unnamed, but I couldn't have been more wrong.

Ok. That should do you for now, my devoted Cake Eater readers.

Oh, and my guest bloggers rock!

Posted by: Kathy at 08:45 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I swear to God I did not have this planned. But it seems the new Bond has an even more debilitating problem than not knowing his way around a martini, getting his butt kicked on the set, and not being able to drive Bond's Aston Martin... He's afraid of guns:

Last year, Craig admitted he is struggling to overcome his biggest fear to play Bond - he's terrified of guns.

The star will have to handle weapons in the film but said he was left petrified after seeing a real life bullet wound.

He said at the time: "I hate handguns. They are used to shoot people and as long as they are around, people will shoot each other. I've seen a bullet wound and it was a mess."

Best not let him see this:

James Frickin' Bond, people. This is unbelievable.

Posted by: Doug at 10:14 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Mmmmm. Hey, it's Friday, and one cannot expect me to be serious or productive on a day like this. Now...gaze upon Mark Darcy lovingly. I command thee.

Posted by: Sadie at 05:46 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Wee: “Aunt Kathy, I’ve organized all of your cookbooks.”

Kathy: “You did?!” They were already in alphabetical order…”

Wee: “Oh, I know, but that’s so boring, everyone organizes alphabetically.”

Kathy becoming a tad bit annoyed: “Boring, what do you mean 'boring'? I am not boring.”

With big liquid brown eyes staring at Aunt Kathy, Wee One said nothing.

Kathy, melting a bit: “Oh, that’s fine. Let’s have a look.”

Noting nothing in obvious disarray, Kathy asked: “How did you organize these, by height of book?”

Wee One: “Oh, no, that’s juvenile. I decided to arrange them chronologically based on latest copyright date. I thought about grouping them based on publisher and copyright, but I thought that might be too confusing, at least, for you.”

At that sound of that, The Husband glanced over at Kathy and made a silent mental wager whether the exchange would culminate in physical contact.

Taking the high road, Kathy continued: “Oh, well, that’s very interesting…”

Wee One: “By the way dear Aunt Kathy, I noticed one of your books, the oldest in your collection in fact, was in dire shape, the pages were loose and falling out. I repaired it as best I could with the elements you had available. Ordinarily, I would prefer to use clear archival tape for a project such as that; however, all I could find from your spouse’s tool box was black electrical tape.”

With that, the child pulled a well used and somewhat lumpy copy of “The White House Cookbook” from behind her back and presented it to her hostess.

As she numbly retrieved the copy from the child’s small hands, The Husband interjected: “Come over here, Wee One. Let me show you my rope collection. I bet you don’t know how to untie a Gallows Knot…”

To be continued.

Posted by: Christina at 08:53 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Man, am I tired.

Suffice it to say, it has been one exceedingly long day. I won't bore you with the minute details, other than...in order:

• Today was a first for me: I was actually on a domestic flight that had a movie. Wow. I watched I Walk the Line and wasn't really all that impressed with Joaquin and Reese's emoting because I couldn't see them hardly at all with the glare on the screen.
• The In-N-Out was wonderful, thank you very much. It was made even better by the fact that we ate it outside. It was seventy degrees and sunny. YEAH!
• I mentioned that the in-laws now live in a suburb of Nogales. This is about two and a half hours south of Phoenix, where we flew into (with the encouragement of the in-laws), which meant a lengthy drive after flying a very long way. Desert is interesting to look at for, oh, about five minutes. Then it's "If you've seen one mountain dotted with brush and cactii, you've seen them all." The strip mining leftovers south of Tucson actually broke up the monotony of tumbleweeds, cactii and Joshua trees.

  I feel the need to berate Arizonans for one thing, though: YOU PEOPLE ARE FILTHY BUGGERS!

  I have NEVER EVER seen so much litter along the roadside in my life. It was absolutely disgusting. Every three feet there was paper, or styrofoam containers or whatever else people could throw out of their cars at high speed. I wondered why it seemed the desert by the side of the road was glittering, but it wasn't anything magical, it was the sun reflecting off broken glass. It was disgusting, and I was so NOT impressed.

I am now going to go and soak the airline woes away and then I'm going to sleep the sleep of the righteous.

Posted by: Kathy at 09:41 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Hiya, to all you Cakeleteers! Kathy asked me to drop in from time to time while she's away to clean up llama poop or something. I'm inferring here. The mission statement wasn't entirely clear, but I distinctly remember llamas were mentioned.

At least my mission wasn't clear before I read the official sayonara. I notice that I'm apparently assigned "laid back ponderings." That's quite a relief. Beats the poop out of poop detail.

Unfortunately, nothing especially ponderable comes to mind at the moment. Or rather nothing that goes along well with "laid back," because, let's face it, that's just a polite way of saying "lazy." Not that I'm arguing the point, mind you. I mean, especially as I struggle to find the energy to write about anything that characterization seems almost too perfect.

In lieu of pondering I'll point out the amazing parallels between Kathy and myself.

Kathy grew up in Omaha. I was born in Omaha.
Kathy has a blog. I have a blog.
Kathy drinks wine. I drink wine.

It's like we're practically the same person! Except for that male/female thing. Plus I think I weigh slightly more than her. But that's gotta be because I'm taller. And fatter.

Anyway, while Kathy is away I vow to remain on top of any breaking news regarding The Pussy Bond (TM). My guess for the next shocking development is that he'll ask for a little paper umbrella in his martini.

Posted by: Doug at 09:27 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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