I saw that Cialis commercial last evening in which the older couple are enjoying the full second flowering of their lives. They're rich, cultured (but still spontanious and quirky!) and in perfect harmony with each other.

Evidently, ol' Gramps has just popped his pill because they're just slipping up the stairs when the doorbell rings and - surprise! - it's the kids and grandkids come for a visit! The rest of the commercial features Gramps and Gran sporting with the youngsters, bonding with their own offspring and.....and....making expectant little faces at each other that say, "As soon as we get rid of these people, it's party time!"

As Malcom Reynolds might say, I find this a might creepifying.

I suppose there really is a clinical condition called erectile dysfunction. But I also strongly believe that ninety-nine out of a hundred men who think they have it really don't. If you're too old, or too out of shape, or too drunk, or too stressed, or too just whatever to, er, perform, that ain't "E.D.", it's just a by-product of your condition. Vanity drugs like Cialis or Viagra simply cause the body to steam-roll right over these other factors. That isn't right.

By the bye, I'm guessing the main market for Cialis isn't the loving older couple who just need that little bit of extra help to rekindle the bliss of their youth. I'm guessing instead that it's primarily middle-aged men working hard to keep up with the trophy bimbette twenty, thirty or forty years younger than them.

Posted by: Robert at 07:15 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 266 words, total size 2 kb.

Dear Kathy,

Well, we've been having a bit o' fun here the past couple weeks, scribbling all sorts of gibberish while teacher wasn't looking.

It seems to me, though, that if we haven't actually gone overboard yet, we are at least standing on the gunwales. I know that sooner or later you're going to want to pick up with this thing again and it will just make it all that more difficult if, when you come back, your blog is covered in childish graffitti.

So, to this end, I've decided to cut it out. Instead, I promise from here on forward to write more legitimate, substantive posts. Indeed, it occurred to me recently that nobody in my real life family or circle knows anything about my access to this place, so I could even open up a good bit more here than I do in my semi-anonymous role as a Llama.

Again, my apologies, both to you and to those Devoted Cake Eater Fans who are still bravely manning their posts.

Yours,

Robbo

P.S. Got any Cheetos?

P.P.S. I'm just kidding.

P.P.P.S. I mean about the Cheetos, not about the apology.

P.P.P.P.S. But some Cheetos would taste good.....

P.P.P.P.P.S. No, no, no. Forget all that. Let's just stick with the apology.

YIPS FROM KATH: Duuuuuude.

Like this was some bastion of high brow commentary beforehand?

If that's true, the great big Cheeto machine in the sky will start shooting out those yummy little air fluffed cheese flavored poofs sprinkled at a increased rate so there will never be a Cheeto shortage again.

But since Cheetos aren't falling from the sky, well...I think you can draw your own conclusions about the quality content of the Cake Eater Chronicles.

Posted by: Robert at 12:06 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 291 words, total size 2 kb.

Is Jack Bauer on a plane.

He'd show those killer chimps a thing or two. And he'd eat all their Cheetos.

Stupid killer chimps.

Jack Bauer's cool.

UPDATE: And how about Al-Quartman on a plane?

Posted by: Robert at 02:03 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Is killer chimps.

Killer chimps!

Caesar, call your office.

Posted by: Robert at 09:03 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Is Lego Annikan.

Lego Annikan! Just as good an actor as the original!

Posted by: Robert at 02:27 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Is Evil Slutty Trolls.

Evil Slutty Trolls!

Posted by: Robert at 05:40 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Yeaaaaaaaaah, Baby! This blog is now #1 on Google worldwide for

Colin Firth Monkey love

I'm a quivering.

Posted by: Steve at 03:05 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 26 words, total size 1 kb.

Is a little Colin Firth trash talk.

"Firth? Now there's a first class prat for you. Know the hardest part of filming Bridget Jones? Pretending to let him kick my ass. Pure Oscar material. There ought to be a special category: Best Dive Taken On Behalf Of A Total Wanker. I mean, this guy couldn't punch his way out of a wet paper bag! He wouldn't last a single round against a ten year old Girl Guide. I heard Richard Simmons made him cry once.

What a complete and utter wanker.

Now, where are those Cheetos you promised me?"

What say you, devoted Cake Eater fans? Does this blog deserve to vault to the Google-bomb pinnacle for "Colin Firth trash talk"?

UPDATE:

"Oh, Hugh! You're so.....hurtful! And who took my Cheetos?"

Posted by: Robert at 07:54 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 139 words, total size 1 kb.

Is an answer to the question, "How do you solve a problem like Maria?"

She climbs a tree
And scrapes her knee

Her dress has got a tear

She waltzs on her way to mass
And whistles on the stair

And underneath her wimple
She has curlers in her hair!

I've even heard her singing in the abbey

She's always late for chapel,

But her penitence is real

She's always late for everything

Except for every meal

I hate to have to say it but I very firmly feel

(all together)
Maria's not an asset to the abbey

(one nun)
I'd like to say a word in her behalf:
Maria makes me laugh

(all nuns laugh)

(Mother Abbess)
How do you solve a problem like maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
(one nun)
How do you find a word that means Maria?

(one nun at a time)
A flibbertajibbit?

A will of a whisp

a clown

Many a thing you know you'd like tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand

But how do you make her stay?
And listen to all you say

how do you keep a wave upon the sand?

Oh how do you solve a problem like Maria?

How do you hold a moon beam in your hand?

When I'm with her
I'm confused
Out of focus
And bemused
And I never know exactly where I am

(one nun at a time)
Unpredictable as weather

She's as flighty as a feather

She's a darling

She's a demon

She's a lamb

She'd out pester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest

She can throw a twirling dervish out of whirl

She is gentle

She is wild

She's a riddle

She's a child

She's a headache

She's an angel

She's a girl!!

(all at once)
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?

A flibbertajjibet
A will of a wisp
A clown

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay?
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh how do you solve a problem like maria?
How do you hold a moon beam in your hand?

The World wonders.

Posted by: Robert at 12:15 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 409 words, total size 2 kb.

Presently we're #5 on Google of

Colin Firth monkey love

I can't do this alone: I need your help.

Colin Firth monkey love

We're not even close on making this the #1 spot on Google for Cheetos.

Cheetos more...

Posted by: Steve at 10:47 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 2139 words, total size 51 kb.

Is a bucket of coffee and a snorkel.

Posted by: Robert at 07:01 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 16 words, total size 1 kb.

is to become the #1 site on the whole internets for all things

Cheetos

Colin Firth Monkey Love

Don't dream small dreams. more...

Posted by: Steve at 08:12 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 1878 words, total size 66 kb.

Is Robot Snakes. Robot Snakes!

UPDATE: Not to be confused with Scruffy Snakes:

Do you think snakes like Cheetos?

Posted by: Robert at 11:09 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 27 words, total size 1 kb.

Let's guarantee Kathy some really good traffic here at the Cake Eater Chronicles:

Liberace painted toenails

I wouldn't kick David Hasselhoff out of bed for eating Cheetos

David Hasselhoff is way more of a hottie mchott than Colin Firth

Colin Firth was a lousy Mister Darcy---Hugh Grant, now THERE would be a great Mr. Darcy!

David Hasselhoff would be a more manly Mr. Darcy than nancy-boy Colin Firth

And last, but not least,

Showgirls movie blog

Posted by: Steve at 10:34 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 5958 words, total size 67 kb.

Is a good blaster at its side.

Posted by: Robert at 07:21 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Phoenix requested pirates, and this was the cutest pirate that I could find:

Posted by: Sadie at 10:07 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 42 words, total size 1 kb.

An interesting letter I thought I'd share with you devoted Cake Eater fans:

Dear Robbo:

What the @*#(%&(@* hell are you guys doing with my blog?????

When I get back, there's gonna be trouble! Think Charles Bronson trouble!

Having a wonderful time, wish you were here.

-Kathy

P.S. Did you guys really eat all my Cheetos? That's gonna cost ya.

Well, I tried to head off the whole Ann Murray/Cheetos thing, but in the words of Joliet Jake Blues:

I ran out of gas! I got a flat tire! I didn't have change for cab fare! I lost my tux at the cleaners! I locked my keys in the car! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!"

Posted by: Robert at 06:59 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 149 words, total size 1 kb.

...Is Keanu Reeves getting ready to take off an unneeded sweatshirt. Can I possibly interest you in a game of volleyball, dahlings?

Posted by: Sadie at 11:17 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 34 words, total size 1 kb.

is love, sweet love.

Everybody now:

What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love,
No not just for some but for everyone.
Lord, we don't need another mountain,
There are mountains and hillsides enough to climb
There are oceans and rivers enough to cross,
Enough to last till the end of time.
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love,
No, not just for some but for everyone.
Lord, we don't need another meadow
There are cornfields and wheat fields enough to grow
There are sunbeams and moonbeams enough to shine
Oh listen, lord, if you want to know.
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love,
No, not just for some but for everyone.
No, not just for some, oh, but just for everyone.

After conquering the internets google thingee by turning this blog into the #1 destination for all searches for the movie Beaches, now it's time to up the ante and turn it into the internet's #1 fan site for all things canuck crooner Anne Murray.

Does it make a difference that Ms. Murray, to the best of my internet searching skills but contrary to my memory, never in fact recorded a version of "What the world needs now is love, sweet love"?

Of course not.
So here goes nothing:
Anne Murray fan blog

UPDATE: Given the people what they want is what I'm all about:

+ = Bliss

UPDATE DEUX: Well THAT was too easy. more...

Posted by: Steve at 09:18 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 518 words, total size 7 kb.

Is less talk, more rock.

Posted by: Robert at 08:53 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 13 words, total size 1 kb.