Crap, that's funny.

Hat Tip: The Llamas

Posted by: Kathy at 03:52 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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No sommelier had ever risen so rapidly as Bordeaux native Henri Marnier. At age 30 he had built a storied wine cellar at Au Troll Mignon in Neuilly. By the time he was 35, Henri's opinion could make or break entire harvests.

Across the ocean in Pine Bluff, Arkansas, no star at Cletus Siding blazed brighter than that of Burt Stump, winner of a national sales incentive trip to Paris.

So it was, on April 4, 1966, that the two had their one and only encounter. Following Henri's counsel, the Stumps ordered a '58 Chateaux Margaux. Stump took a sip and pronounced it "undrinkable." Marnier pronounced it "eminently drinkable." Stump said, "Fine, you drink it." Marnier answered, "Fine, I will," then finished the bottle in front of the Stumps, taking two hours to do so. "Margaux," he said, "will not be swilled."

Two hours later, France's premier sommelier collapsed. Three weeks later, he succumbed to Margaux-induced sepsis.

Four decades later, Henri Marnier remains "Le Martyr de Bordeaux." Burt and Brandine Stump enjoy an active retirement in Coral Gables, Florida.

---from a handout that encompassed our check at the local French joint.

Posted by: Kathy at 03:41 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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A little over a month ago I get this envelope in the mail. Or rather, the husband, got this envelope in the mail up at his shop. It had somehow been forwarded up yonder thanks to the genius that is the United States Postal Service and its merry band of screwy brothers.

Since I get a lot of envelopes in the mail, and most of them are from people I owe money to, that we received an envelope in the mail is generally not too big of a deal in the scheme of things. What was a big deal, however, was the somewhat cryptic return address on said envelope. You might imagine that, with an unusual return address, the husband would decide to have a little fun. After much taunting me via email, he finally clued me in on the return address.

It read: The Joint Staff, C4 Systems Directorate (J6).

Huh?

And that's all the husband emailed me.

So, after a few moments of me pondering if the man I married had a slight sadistic streak to him, the husband decided he knew what was good for him and gave up the goods without further delay: turns out it was an invitation to a retirement review for my cousin, Dennis, aka The Big Cheese.

This is Dennis. That would be Major General Dennis C. Moran to you, my devoted Cake Eater readers. There's going to be a band playing and a parade in his (and two other retiring generals') honor at Fort Myer, Virginia this afternoon. Hell, they might even shoot off some ammunition, I just wouldn't count on it if you happen to be the in vicinity. The Army's cheap that way.

Longtime devoted Cake Eater readers will know that I've hinted here and there that I had a relative who was a Grand Poobah in the service. For you, my devoted Cake Eater readers, the mystery is finally solved. (You knew I'd get around to it sometime, didn't you? Way to keep the faith!) I never outed Dennis before because I figured he had enough to deal with. I may never have outed Dennis to you, my devoted Cake Eater readers, and while I'm fairly certain he's delightfully ignorant about the existence of this blog, he is important in Cake Eater Lore, if anyone cares about such things, because he's the reason why I have never, ever criticized the Armed Forces or the invasion or anything military related on this here blog. It has nothing to do with fears of putting him in harm's way---he's Signals; he's generally never in harm's way when he's actually at war, but rather well behind the harm---but rather because I didn't want to come off like some idiot Napoleon-wannabe, thinking I knew more about the situation than I actually did. Because generals always know more than some idiot blogger, who probably thinks that because they watched the original bombardment of Baghdad on CNN in 1991 they have some right---and the necessary skill---to criticize current military maneuvers. (Andrew Sullivan, thy name is legend.) There are plenty of those folks in the blogosphere. Don't get me wrong: they're entitled to come off like a jackass if they want to. But I know from personal experience (over plates of funeral food in my brother's basement, if you must know the awful truth--oh, yeah, you can almost smell the awkwardness, can't you?) you just generally sound like an idiot when you don't have all the information involved. Dennis taught me this, even if that wasn't his intention.

After a long and fulfilling career in the military, Dennis is finally hanging it up today. We've long followed his career and we've always been proud of him and his numerous accomplishments. (Except when he worked in Bubba Clinton's White House, but that's another story entirely) Of course, chemo is preventing me from actually attending the review, which is a crying ass shame because there's no place I'd rather be later today. He deserves the fanfare of a big parade and review because he's toiled in the background for our country, making sure people could talk to one another, ever since he was in college---over thirty years ago. He's yet another soldier who was just doing their job, but he's done it well and for that I thank him.

Congratulations Dennis!

Posted by: Kathy at 11:14 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Why, why, why must all the good parties happen the day after I have chemo?

First, I missed these guys' bash. And that's always a shame because Tracy and the LME always put out a good spread. Lubricated with lots of good booze, too.

Now I must miss yet another chance to spend the evening, flitting hither and thither around the bar, hiding from Lileks.

Because you know he's my biggest fan.

It's just not fair, damnit.

Posted by: Kathy at 04:56 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Yesterday, I met with a medical oncologist in Dr. Academic's practice to discuss the results of the genetic testing I mentioned in the middle of this very screedy post. Apparently, she's the one who deals with all the genetic testing in the practice, hence I met with her instead of Dr. Academic.

After showing up late for the appointment (Seriously, can these doctors EVER run on time? Would that be too much to ask? I've got things to do with my day and YOU'RE WASTING MY TIME WHEN YOU'RE LATE FOR MY APPOINTMENT!), she told me I came back negative for the BRCA mutation. She looked somewhat disappointed when I didn't drop to my knees and start kissing the carpet in an effort to show profound thanks to the Cancer Gods, but since I'd already cheered this discovery three weeks ago, when I chatted with Dr. Academic before my last treatment and he told me about the results, it wasn't like that was going to happen anyway.

While this is a good thing, and I'm happy for what it means in terms of not having increased surveillance for breast cancer, and for my siblings, too, who would have been run around the bend and beyond getting their own genetic testing and increased surveillance done, I'm not really sure how I feel about the fact we're still clueless as to how I came to be an ovarian cancer patient in the first place.

What's better in this situation? To finally know how something happened, or to be told that this incredibly painful and challenging experience that has taken up almost six months of my life is, and I quote, "a fluke"?

What's better? To know the cause of something, even though you probably couldn't have prevented said something in the first place, or to have to surrender your health for the better part of a year to the whims of chaos theory?

I don't know.

And that bothers me.

It's like having an unbearable itch that you can't scratch because Fate and the God of That-Which-We-Do-Not Know-Yet have your arms tied behind your back with a zip tie.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:08 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 I vote for "better to know the cause." Because it would just bug me not to know. Unless the cause would make me feel guilty. Then I'd go with "better not to know." Of course you wouldn't know if it would make you feel guilty unless you knew what it was. Maybe better not to know so as not to take the risk. Of course that would also prevent you from knowing even if it would be the good kind of knowing. Hope this helped.

Posted by: Doug Williams at June 20, 2007 01:23 PM (IDBCo)

2

Posted by: Kathy at June 20, 2007 04:42 PM (4zpeM)

3 If it helps, even if you HAD the mutation, you still wouldn't know it was the cause - it'd just be very likely.

Posted by: Sigivald at June 21, 2007 04:27 PM (4JnZM)

4 According to my doctor, I'm a fluke breast cancer patient. My genetic testing came back negative, too. Yeah, I've been asking myself the same questions. If this isn't my genetics, then what on Earth is it? Did my boobs get mad because I called them small? *Looks down at chest* I was only kidding, you know. *Shrugs* I'm just hoping that whatever happened, it never happens again. I so don't want to do this again.

Posted by: Amy at June 25, 2007 05:07 PM (jI8YL)

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Sniff.

Please, God, let little Connie win. That will show me there is at least a modicum of justice in this world. Paris Hilton's in the slammer and this little girl, singing for the Queen. Justice, baby. Justice.

All will be right in the world if she wins.

Hat tip: WWTDD---which is completely random if you're a follower of that blog. Seriously.

Posted by: Kathy at 02:03 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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To paraphrase the husband: There's a reason why AT&T's nicknamed "The Death Star."

AT&T Inc. has joined Hollywood studios and recording companies in trying to keep pirated films, music and other content off its network — the first major carrier of Internet traffic to do so.

The San Antonio-based company started working last week with studios and record companies to develop anti-piracy technology that would target the most frequent offenders, said James W. Cicconi, an AT&T senior vice president.

The nation's largest telephone and Internet service provider also operates the biggest cross-country system for handling Internet traffic for its customers and those of other providers.

As AT&T has begun selling pay-television services, the company has realized that its interests are more closely aligned with Hollywood, Cicconi said in an interview Tuesday. The company's top leaders recently decided to help Hollywood protect the digital copyrights to that content.

"We do recognize that a lot of our future business depends on exciting and interesting content," he said.{...}

{my emphasis}

So, basically what we have here is an ISP saying they're going to start patrolling their pipes for copyright infringers. This means not only will BitTorrent whores be singled out for their bandwidth hogging ways, but could, conceivably, extend to anyone who looks at a clip from a tee vee show on You Tube. AT&T is doing this because they value their relationship with Hollywood more than they do the customers who fork over God only knows how much per month for internet service, and who, essentially, keep their business in business.

Ironically, they're doing this so they have access to future content to sell to said internet subscribers.

Who won't be able to download it without thinking long and hard about whether AT&T could potentially cut off their internet service if they do.

Idiots.

The only funny bit about this is that Cingular, which as the commercials incessantly remind us is "now the New At&T" is launching the iPhone at the end of the month. It's not clear what, specifically, this means for iPhone suckers users, but I don't suspect it'll be anything good when it comes to providing content for that nifty little screen you're supposed to be able to watch movies and tee vee on.

See also: Tech Crunch and Tech Dirt

Posted by: Kathy at 11:00 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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{Insert the sound of my bald head smacking against my desk here. Repeat fifteen times, then take some advil.}

This should be a big honkin' sign you have too much bloody money:

{...}"I've taken the time to familiarize myself with the impressive field of Democratic candidates and am convinced that
Hillary Clinton is the most qualified candidate to lead us from her first day in the White House," Spielberg said in a statement.

Spielberg, a founding partner of DreamWorks Studio and the director of such films as "Jurassic Park," "Schindler's List" and "Saving Private Ryan," had waited several months to decide which candidate to endorse as Democratic hopefuls jousted for Hollywood's financial backing.

His decision reflects Clinton's growing support among show business heavyweights following a period in which many donors hedged their bets by giving money to several candidates, including Clinton, Illinois Sen. Barack Obama and former North Carolina Sen.
John Edwards.

"My sense is that there continues to be three very strong talented Democratic front-runners, and there's a long way to go," said Andy Spahn, Spielberg's political advisor.{...}

{my emphasis}

Steven Spielberg has his own political advisor?

Are you kidding me?

There is actually a class of working politicos who advise film directors as to whom they should endorse for the Democratic nomination for president?

Again, are you fucking kidding me?

Give it to the poor, Stevie. Give it to the poor. Or, in the absence of any poor people in Beverly Hills, give it to me. I'll spend it wisely. I promise.

I'm so glad he chimed in with his decision, too. Because I've been waiting for it like I've been waiting for the sequel to War of the Worlds.

Or a case of the clap.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:48 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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How dumb, precisely, do you have to be to not know which cord on your laptop is the power supply?

And by that I mean the cord that you, ahem, plug into a electrical socket.

One of the husband's regular customers is, apparently, this dumb.

Seriously.

Reportedly this person manages steady, well paid employment in the entertainment industry.

Oh, wait. Maybe I just answered my own question.

Posted by: Kathy at 04:18 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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