Angelina Jolie's alleged lesbian lover steps forward.

Men everywhere rejoice and begin searching the internet for the video that will undoubtedly accompany this piece of glorious good news.

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...for more power when you were snowblowing?

Think a 912 pound, V-8 snowblower with a 454 cubic inch Chevy engine might do you?

I think that ought to satisfy your needs.

And if it doesn't, well...you've got problems, my friend.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:13 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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...perhaps the ever-growing list of idiot celebrities who want to save a murderer who has shown no remorse for the crimes which put him on death row, would find it in their interest to take a look at the case of Cory Maye.

You know, if they're really interested in social justice, fighting the man!, etc., this might be the more worthwhile cause to use their celebrity for.

And people might actually have respect for them instead of contempt.

It's just a suggestion.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:17 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I'm in the midst of putting up my Dickens Villages and whilst I was gazing at my Ye Olde Curiosity Shop, I remembered this post and decided you would probably want to re-read it, too, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, since you're all about doing what I'm doing, and thinking what I'm thinking.

A small sampling:

{...}But let me tell you this all you moms of the world, this year I am adding a little Dickensian realism to the strawberry shortcake mix. You see - hahahaha! - this year I have built my own addition to that Charles Dickens model village. Yes, this year I'm bringing the scale model prison hulks with me on Christmas Eve, complete with model convict figurines bound by their tiny ball and chains. And I've even created a carpet of stagnant marshy hinterland that you can roll out on the outskirts of your unsuspecting village. And there's a gallows too, crafted out of balsa wood with the rotten remains of Short-Arsed Jake the Pentonville Footpad hanging from it.

And ... oh! Who can that be hiding behind the coal shed door at Mrs Whisker's cottage? Why I do believe it's Mad Jack the Hatchet Man who has escaped from the hulks and stalks the village streets at night in search of his next victim. And who is that dark, hunchbacked figure climbing through the freshly smashed window of the bakery ....?{...}

I still stand by last year's request for a model of Bedlam.

Posted by: Kathy at 02:39 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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If you're wondering what the pissed off grape-in-bondage is all about, go here.

{Hat tip: Phin}

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Bubba proves, once again, that he's a two-faced, spotlight hog:

MONTREAL - A contentious U.N. climate conference entered its final day Friday with the long-term future undecided in the fight against global warming, and with a surprise visitor on tap to rally the "pro-Kyoto" forces.

Bill Clinton, who as president championed the Kyoto Protocol clamping controls on "greenhouse gases," was scheduled to speak at the conference Friday afternoon — in an unofficial capacity but potentially at a critical point in backroom talks involving the U.S. delegation.

The U.S. envoys, representing a Bush administration that renounced the Kyoto pact, were said to be displeased by the 11th-hour surprise, although there was no formal protest, according to an official in the Canadian government, the conference host.

This official spoke on condition of anonymity because as a civil servant — not a politician — he is barred from the public light during Canada's current election season.

The U.S. delegation was meeting late Thursday and had no immediate public comment, said spokeswoman Susan Povenmire.

Clinton, who was invited here by the City of Montreal, will speak in the main conference hall between the official morning and afternoon plenary sessions, said U.N. conference spokesman John Hay. Despite its unofficial nature, the speech was sure to attract hundreds of delegates from the more than 180 countries represented.

A city spokesman said the ex-president will be representing the William J. Clinton Foundation, which operates the Clinton Global Initiative, a program focusing on climate change as a business opportunity.

Clinton's vice president, Al Gore, was instrumental in final negotiations on the 1997 treaty protocol initialed in the Japanese city of Kyoto. It mandates cutbacks in 35 industrialized nations of emissions of carbon dioxide and five other gases by 2012.{...}

Isn't this what the French would call a "le slap in ze face?" Why the hell isn't the US delegation protesting? This is a humongous breach in diplomatic etiquette. Former Presidents, or former leaders of any country, not just the United States, do not attend conferences or summits where their home country is already formally represented by the government which currently holds power. It confuses people; it sends the wrong message. The message Bubba's appearance in Montreal sends to the world is, "Well, never mind what the Bush administration says, there are Americans who agree with you. There's still hope for Kyoto."

But you see the thing is is that there isn't hope for Kyoto---at least as far as the United States is concerned---and Bubba knows this. After all, it's a policy that began in his administration. If Bubba had really wanted Kyoto to be ratified, he would have submitted it to the Senate for ratification and actively worked toward that end. But Bubba didn't do that. He knew Kyoto wasn't going to be ratified by the Senate when he had Al Gore sign the stupid thing, so like all legislation he couldn't automatically count on coming straight to his desk with universal acclaim, he didn't bother with it. Bush, at least, had the guts to be honest about his intentions, whereas Clinton was, once again, a gutless wonder who couldn't get a damn thing done---even on a treaty which he'd made the United States a signatory.

I am sick to 'effin death of the Bush Bashing by the climate change freaks. It's amazing: Bush has dealt honestly and fairly with them. He's told them flat-out that he is not going to submit the treaty for ratification---and it's the Senate who ratifies treaties, by the way, not the President---because he doesn't think it's fair to the United States. He could have sent the treaty up to the Senate for ratification and shifted the responsibility for its failure onto the Senate's back, but he didn't do that. He didn't believe it was a treaty the US should have signed, so the buck stopped with him. Yet, despite his lack of interest in Kyoto, Bush is interested in climate change; he's not in willful denial of it; he just doesn't think Kyoto's the way to go---he wants more options that don't lay the bill at the foot of the US economy. The climate change people should be thankful that he's at least told them the truth about US participation, and then gone forward to see what the US needed to participate. But they haven't done that. It's Kyoto or bust! Clinton was, as usual, dishonest. Not only to the American people, but to the world as well. He lied to them when he had Al Gore sign the stupid thing, knowing full well he did not intend to send the treaty to the Senate for ratification. You'd think they would be pissed to holy hell with him. But they're not. The climate change freaks, apparently, enjoy being lied to. They appreciate a honeyed, forked tongue, as opposed to one that tells the truth.

Why the US representatives at the UN conference haven't lodged a formal protest over Bubba's presence, I don't know. But I sure as hell want them to. He has no business being there. Absolutely none. And if the US representatives don't call him on it this time, he's just going to keep on showing up at these things, ultimately undermining their position and any progress they might have made. It's past time to call him on his attention seeking behavior.

UPDATE: Asshole

Posted by: Kathy at 11:50 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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As in it's a wonder that the President of Iran, after all he suffered in world condemnation last month, apparently is such a bloody dolt he can't learn to keep his mouth shut about Israel:

{...}Speaking on a visit to the holy city of Mecca in Saudi Arabia, he attacked Europe for prosecuting doubters of the mass killings of Jews by the Nazis during the second world war. Mr Ahmadi-Nejad's comments follow widespread international outcry after he called in October for Israel to be "wiped from the map".

"Some European countries insist on saying Hitler killed millions of innocent Jews in furnaces ... to the extent that if anyone proves something to the contrary, they ... throw him in jail," Mr Ahmadi-Nejad told a news conference. "Although we don't accept this claim, if we suppose it is true, our question for the Europeans is this: is the killing of innocent Jewish people by Hitler the reason for their support for the occupiers of Jerusalem?"

Mr Ahmadi-Nejad said Europe had supported the creation of Israel in 1947-8, when thousands of Palestinians were uprooted, as a reaction to the Nazis' killing of Jews. "If the Europeans are honest, they should give some of their provinces - like in Germany, Austria or other countries - to the Zionists... [for] a state," he said.{...}

There are times when I wonder if the Iranians voted him in as president just because they knew he'd piss off all the right people and they'd be liberated that much more quickly.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:00 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Waaaah.

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There are times when you forget that, Steve-o, aka Mr. Vegas, is a PhD-holdin', professor of political science.

This wouldn't be one of them.

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"A Christmas Story" presented in {insert drumroll here} Bun-O-Vision

{Hat Tip: Doug, who prefers the Bunny version of "It's a Wonderful Life"}

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Except for one guy I know who actually gets paid for that job. He seems to be a wee bit focused on how bad the Eagles are this year, rather than doing his actual job. Because if he was doing his job, we'd already have dearest Jonathan's critique of the latest Barney and Miss Beazley Christmas Video. (It's on the right hand side)

He had such valid criticism last year. But Jonathan hasn't produced a review yet and I'm just waiting with bated breath to hear what he has to say.

As far as this year's entry is concerned, well, Barney seems a wee bit edgy and I think that might have improved his performance over last year's entry. One wonders if his performance might catch the eye of the academy, but really, that's always a crap shoot, isn't it? Miss Beazley, however, doesn't really add much to the whole shebang. In fact, well, I much prefer the stuffed Miss Beazley of last year (there was a stuffed Miss Beazley last year, right? Don't tell me that was the egg nog talking. Please.) than the real one. Too much of a prima donna for my tastes.

But that's just me and my inexpert opinion. We'll have to wait and see what our friendly neighborhood pro critic, Jonathan, has to say.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:39 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The Twin Cities' Gay Men's Chorus answered the phones during TPT's (Twin Cities Public Television) latest flog-a-thon and one of Frater's readers, one Ross from Burnsville, wants to know who knew what and when did they know it:

{...}Here are some questions: Did TPT disclose to its audience during the Andy Williams special that their phones were being answered by the Twin Cities Gay Men's Chorus? It seems inappropriate that such a group would be answering the phones during this kind of programming. What exactly is the relationship between TPT and the Twin Cities Gay Men's Chorus? Is TPT funding this group? If so, how much is TPT giving them? Would these men really be volunteers if TPT is funding them?

Well, far be it from me to point this out, Ross, but maybe, just maybe, the Twin Cities Gay Men's Chorus likes to have Andy Williams programming on TPT, and they would like to show their support for such choice programming by answering phones no one else wants to answer. Perhaps they like Andy Williams just as much as your average, Burnsville residing, straight guy and his wife and that's why they were answering the phones during TPT's flog-a-thon.

The chorus' alleged love of the stylings of Andy Williams aside, I suppose they could have also been doing it for the PR, too. Because they do have products to sell and concert halls to fill. And, as we all know, things just don't sell themselves, so if the chorus had to go over to St. Paul and answer phones for a crummy two second endorsement of their products, they'll do that. Because that's usually what being a "media partner" of TPT entails---TPT gets free labor and money and everyone else gets bupkiss.

Ya think either one of those answers could possibly be right, or do we need an independent prosecutor to convene a grand jury to really get to the bottom of things?

Posted by: Kathy at 03:41 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Lindsay Lohan's getting all, like cathartic and shit with her second album.

{...}It's not the kind of material that helped her sell more than a million copies of her first album, "Speak." But at 19, Lohan is eager to show a more adult side — and she hopes the public is ready to see it, too.

"I do still have the younger fan base and I want them to be able to relate to some lighter songs, but I want to grow with my fans, and I've been trying to do that for so long," says Lohan. "I've just grown up really fast, and I'm thankful for that."

She's not thankful, however, for some of the things that have caused her to grow up at warp speed, especially over the past few months. Chief among them were the troubles of her father, Michael Lohan. Estranged from Lindsay, her mother, Dina, and Lindsay's three younger siblings, Michael Lohan was frequently in trouble with the law over the past year, including an arrest for driving while impaired. He was sentenced in May to up to four years in prison, and the Lohans divorced.

"When I think about it, it kind of just registers to me that it was in the papers that my father's going to jail. I think about that and I'm like, wow, that's really hard," says Lohan. "People usually don't deal with that in the public eye, for whoever it may be to see."

Lohan generally stayed mum about her father in the press, but their relationship is one of the focal points of the new record. The first single, "Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)," is about a daughter's abandonment by her dad, and the video, which she directed, depicts an abusive husband.

"It was really to let girls, boys, anyone that's in an abusive relationship, anyone who is going through things like that ... to put it out there that it's OK to express how you feel," says Lohan. "If I'm in the position where I can take a stand and say something important, then I'd like to do that."{...}

Lohan hopes that listeners will get as much out of listening to her record as she did making it.

"I hope people take me seriously and respect what I'm willing to put out there. People don't have to rave about it," she says. But, she adds, "I want it to touch people whatever way it will touch the people individually."

{my emphasis}

Because, like, it really sucks to have your dad thrown in jail. And I didn't talk about it because it was embarrassing and like, shit, and it seemed cooler to just, you know, keep it under wraps, until I needed a PR boost. Then it was, like, cool, to get it all out there.

And I, like, can't speak English, like, very well, either.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:13 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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It's supposed to get up to 17 degrees today, and if it chooses to do so, well, I might actually leave the house for the first time since Sunday.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

UPDATE: Because, after sub-zero temperatures, 17 degrees is quite balmy. I know this because I live in Minnesota, where you, too, can gain the experience to tell the difference between ten below zero and twenty below zero without looking at a thermometer.

Posted by: Kathy at 09:47 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Let me repeat this for the umpteenth time: yes, I live in Cake Eater Land; no, I am NOT a cake eater. Look to the left on this here blog, there will be a little link in the upper left hand sidebar that rather impudently asks, "What is a Cake Eater?" Click on it and learn, children.

I am most certainly not "well-to-do." Crikeys. If I qualified for membership in the Cake Eater club, I would not have done what I did yesterday, which was to scrub the walls in my home office with Clorox Clean-Up. Why, you ask, did I scrub the walls with a bleachy cleaner? Well, I quit smoking a few months back (Do "well-to-do" people smoke nowadays? Nope. Because, supposedly, with more wealth comes the intelligence to know when you're killing yourself in the name of stress relief. They only fire up when they're stinking drunk and because, Gawd, they need something to make themselves feel alive, and smoking reminds them of when they were particularly naughty in college tha one time...) and it's been slowly dawning on me how yellow my supposedly white walls were.

If I were "well-to-do," rather than slapping on a pair of rubber gloves and hoisting a bottle of Clorox Clean-up, I would have simply wired the house with explosives and blown it up whilst watching from the other side of the street, swaddled in mink, an ice cold martini in my hand raised in honor of that master manipulator of nitroglycerin, Alfred Nobel.

But we is po', so I scrubbed the walls myself. That disqualifies me from Cake Eater Membership. I looked it up to be sure, too.

Oh, and while I'm at the correction business, Lileks lives in Minneapolis, not Edina.

Posted by: Kathy at 09:00 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Doug wants to know what I consider to be the worst, most embarrassing episode in American history.

Okedokey. Here we go.

It's this.

If America had tried harder to get through to this man, and Eisenhower had pulled in the reins on this dude and his covert op wet dreams, the Shah's son would likely be on the throne in Teheran; people would be saying "Ayatollah Who?"; fifty-three American hostages would never have been taken from an American Embassy that had never been overrun by religious zealots; America would still have an embassy in Teheran; and, most importantly, Iran would now not be threatening us all with their enriched uranium whimsies.

We, America, who pride ourselves on our democracy, overthrew a democratically elected government to keep the oil flowing for the Brits and to set up a more strategic Cold War position for ourselves, with a friendly Shah, who we'd, quite kindly, restored to power. As a result of this interference in Iranian domestic affairs, that same Shah, who was never really the sharpest tool in the shed to begin with, became quite paranoid and went on to become a repressive ruler who used his security forces to terrorize his subjects into submission. It's no wonder the Iranians turned to radical Islam for answers, because they certainly weren't getting any from us.

If that's not bad or embarrassing, I don't know what is.

It's also an instructive episode for it, really and truly, shows you what the CIA is capable of when it wants to get down to brass tacks. Of course this was the pre-Church Committee CIA, but still... In other words, thou moonbattiest of moonbats, when it comes to the War Against Terror, you ain't seen nothing yet.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:46 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The electricity went out in much of Zimbabwe, just as dictator/asshole for life, Robert Mugabe was about to address the nation regarding power shortages.

When it comes to Mugabe, you couldn't make some of this stuff up if you tried.

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Book lovers who worry about what digitization and Google Book Search mean for the future of their beloved tomes should read this.

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Just ask Kathleen Blanco.

She can tell you how much more important it is to look good, rather than it is to do good.

Because looking good is what really matters in this world.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:37 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Have you ever wanted to take panoramic photographs, but you didn't want to buy a Kodak Advantix (can you even do that anymore?) or a 70mm camera that cost thousands of dollars?

You have?

Well, it's your lucky day, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, because I have a tool for you! It's called AutoStitch and if you load a bunch of photos into it, it will stitch them into a panoramic shot.

Take a look at their gallery page to see what you can do with it.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:11 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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