July 27, 2005

THE JOYS OF HOUSE SITTING

To me, the best thing hands down about house sitting is snooping around. Better than depleting the bar, better than running up the pay-per-view charges, better than getting the mail in you underwear, because you just really don't know someone until you get to spend a week in their house, unsupervised, walking around in their slippers and bathrobe.

I always love the ego wall the best---the wall in their house where they have their little slivers from their brushes with fame.

Well, I have to report, ladies and gentlemen, that our old pal Kathy has been holding out on us a wee bit..... more...

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DEMYSTIFYING THE DIVA, STARRING STEVE THE LLAMABUTCHER

Coming soon..........

disco jane austen.jpg

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INSERT EVIL WICKED LAUGH HERE!

Kathy's gone to the Twin-Cities, having plumb forgotten that the last time she went on vacation she entrusted the keys to casa Cake Eater to your humble LLamabutchers, hoping we would, you know, take in the mail, feed the cat, water the plants, and not rack up too much charges on pay-per-view for Wrestlemania XXXIV Hillary's Dance of DOOOM! live from Indianapolis.

The problem is, you let your neighbors have the keys, and then you forget about it.

chainsawbill_small.gif
Honey, I'm Home.....

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Gone Fishing

This announcement will annoy some people, but hey, I feel the need to brag!

I'm leaving town for the day. WooT! Exciting stuff, no? I haven't been out of the Cities since, well, last October. This is heady stuff for moi. I can't wait.

Anyway, the Cake Eater Sister and her family are out at a lake a couple of hours west of here and the husband and I are going to visit for the day. Hence, you're all SOL as far as blogging entertainment is concerned. I know, you're bereft and all that jazz. Well, all I can really tell you is that you'll live. Maybe not happily, but you'll live nonetheless.

Things should be back to normal on Thursday. Have a great day!

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July 26, 2005

I'd Like To Thank The Husband

...without whom I would have never scored so high. (Although, I think it was the Pong questions that really helped me score the big points!)


My computer geek score is greater than 24% of all people in the world! How do you compare? Click here to find out!

This is proof that I know just enough about computers to be dangerous.

{Hat Tip: Robbo, who really is a nerd}

UPDATE: From MRN aka "The Husband"


My computer geek score is greater than 93% of all people in the world! How do you compare? Click here to find out!

meh

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Where Are They Now (Or Maybe It's Then?)?

A bit of a thirty-five year fast-forward for some of your favorite bloggers.

I particularly like the one about Robbo. Heh. And, in case you were wondering, Sadie's going to dethrone Ann Coulter. {Insert sorts of glee here} Someone needs to show that leggy bitch who's boss and Sadie's just the girl to do it.

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Gratuitous Plug

The husband's birthday is on Friday and his sister just stopped by to drop off his present. The kids accompanied her, and since wrapping paper and bows were involved, they insisted the husband open his present up early.

He received an autographed book: Fence Line by Curtis Bauer

Curt is one of the husband's friends from high school. Apparently, they played football together and bonded on their high school's trip to Germany. What's more is that we believe that the "Michael Nelson" listed in the author's acknowledgements is, indeed, the husband. (There are a lot of Michael Nelsons in the world, so it could be someone else, but we don't think it is.)

Pretty cool, eh?

So, if you like poetry and would like to give an Iowa boy a leg up, go and buy his book. Christopher Buckley liked his stuff, so if you need legitimate literary props before you spend money on such a thing, you're covered.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:21 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Amusing Tour de Lance Gossip

I'm repeating this just for the sake of repeating it. Because Sheryl Crow's "performance" at the Tour de France on Sunday made me want to smack her upside the head. So, I'm being nasty just for the sake of being nasty. {Insert slapping of hand here. Oooh, that hurt. Rolls eyes.}

Some twelve years ago, I was introduced to one of the husband's fraternity brothers. We'll call him R. At the time, R. was dating a lovely girl who we shall call J. J. and I hit it off instaneously. R. married J. about a month after we got married and we and have been good friends ever since. R. is a cycling fanatic and he's translated that love into a great career working for a world renowned cycling company. Recently, he was transferred from the U.S. to Switzerland. I don't know precisely what his job entails for the company anymore, but I do know that for some of the Tour he got to work support crew, helping to take care of their bikes. I'm assuming this was a dream come true for him, considering that in his spare time he used to assemble bikes from free spare parts. (He actually made an all titanium bike. You could pick it up with one finger! He loves titanium so much that his wedding ring is made out of titanium.) Anyway, R. and J. were in Paris over the weekend, and had some great seats in the bleachers and backstage access to the riders. They also got to ride in the parade with the support crew, just behind their riders. Anyway, to get on to the perhaps not-so-juicy Sheryl Crow gossip, I quote from J.'s email:

{...}After he spoke at the Podium his girlfriend Sheryl Crow's song was played on the loud speakers. It was SO TACKY. Everyone groaned, of course. She wanted some attention too !

His ex-wife and their nanny were the women you saw on the TV next to ol
Sheryl. The rumors all over that day were that Sheryl was flown to Switzerland to a fertility clinic to be artificially inseminated with some of Lance's healthy sperm. Not sure if it true- you back in the States would know more about that tabloid gossip than me ! Anyway, Sheryl wants to get married and Lance is going to take it easy{...}

Heheheheh. I can almost buy it, can't you? Tee hee.

My bad. I know. I'm a horrible person, but I couldn't quite resist.

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Come Dancing

Are you feeling the urge on this fine Tuesday morning to twirl around the ballroom with some gorgeous women?

Well, then it would be your lucky day as The Cotillion is up and running. Go and visit these fine sites to get your Rhumba groove on:

Fistful of Fortnights
My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
e-Claire
Who Tends The Fires


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Good Tee Vee Recommendation

If you like comedians who don't take prisoners, might I suggest you tune into Mind of Mencia on Comedy Central on Wednesday nights? (That linky there is NSFW, ya dig? Unless you've got headphones. Because it's profane. It's good but it made me, who swears like a sailor, blush. That should tell you something.)

Check it out if you get the chance.

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July 25, 2005

Mach 10 Is Never Safe

Get a freakin' grip!

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. (Reuters) -NASA is prepared to waive a flight safety rule so it can launch space shuttle Discovery on the first mission since the 2003 Columbia accident if a fuel sensor glitch reoccurs, managers at the U.S. space agency said on Monday.

The malfunction involving one of four hydrogen fuel sensors forced NASA to postpone Discovery's first launch attempt on July 13. For its second liftoff attempt on Tuesday, NASA is considering changing a rule that all four sensors must be working.

"Any time you talk about changing a launch (rule), that is a big deal," said Stephanie Stilson, Discovery's vehicle manager.

"It's huge. That is not something we would go into lightly, as we should not," Stilson said in an interview.

Officials said NASA was willing to waive the rule requiring all four sensors to be working because it feels there are sufficient safeguards and they are confident the shuttle's safety would not be endangered even if one sensor malfunctioned.

Liftoff of Discovery and seven astronauts on a long-delayed resupply mission to the International Space Station remained on track for 10:39 a.m. EDT (1439 GMT), despite minor damage found on a heat resistant tile on Monday that delayed launch preparations slightly.

NASA spokesman Bruce Buckingham said technicians spotted a "small ding" on one of the tiles that protects the spaceship from superheated atmospheric gases on re-entry into the Earth's atmosphere, and it was "swapped out." Launch preparations were quickly brought back on schedule, Buckingham said.{...}

Sigh. I feel sorry for the poor people at NASA. That they should have to defend the action of waiving a rule that says you have to have four working sensors when three are working is ridiculous. Never mind that the fourth sensor is three times redundant, these poor people have to defend their actions to the utmost, otherwise this could be---ahem---something an astronaut could die from!

Well, far be it from me to point this out, but I do believe these astronauts know what the hell they're getting themselves into when they strap into a machine that's going to slingshot them into space. Nothing in this world is perfect, particularly not with a machine that flies into space. The entire endeavor is not safe. It never has been and it never will be. Figure it out.

What is it with these nannies in the media and in Congress? Ever since Columbia exploded two and a half years ago, I've watched in awe as everyone and their mother has bellyached about making space travel safer. And by that I don't mean they want to make it safe within reasonable expectations. They want the shuttle to be a freakin' Volvo, replete with side airbags and parachutes for the astronauts. They seem to think that if the astronauts had parachutes and a better way of exiting a space shuttle that's---ahem---in the process of exploding at a high altitude, these astronauts would be able to exit the shuttle and pull a rip cord. They would then float safely to earth from 50,000 feet or higher and would live to tell the tale.

Ok, that's a nice thought, but it's not going to happen. Do you remember how quickly both Columbia and Challenger exploded? I believe it took eight seconds for Columbia to explode. That's simply not enough time for the astronauts to undo their restraints and jump out of an escape hatch. Never mind that parachuting from that altitude is generally something only SEAL's do on on a rare occassion. The only reason pilots of F-18's and the like find themselves alive after an accident is because the roof of their plane explodes and they're forcefully ejected from their plane. Nothing even remotely similar was proposed for the Space Shuttle in all of the caterwauling that occurred after Columbia exploded. They simply couldn't remodify the shuttle for such a thing. Which should be a big honkin' clue to the rest of us that the commission meetings were not about making the shuttle safer: they were about making the people on the ground feel better about astronauts dying. They were doing something. Well, that's all well and good, but what did they actually get done at the end of the day? What, exactly, is different on Discovery because of Columbia's explosion? If they'd really wanted to make the shuttle safer, they would have done something about those ridiculous tiles that have been a problem since day one, wouldn't they? Those tiles were directly responsible for Columbia's demise, but they did nothing about them. The shuttle is still lined with them.

Space travel is something we're obviously still working out. The shuttle was a big step toward making a reusable aircraft. What I don't understand is how people could not understand that we don't know everything when it comes to flying into space. We just don't. We're still working on figuring it out. These new Magellans and de Gamas, our astronauts, know this. I have to think that they know precisely what they're risking in this endeavor to learn more. If they're willing to take on that burden, why shouldn't we, the people on the ground, trust that they know what they're doing?

I'm not saying that NASA doesn't have it's problems. God only knows that that organization has its issues. But it's time to go already. They shouldn't have to defend against worthless accusations of not wrapping the shuttle up in bubble wrap.

Nothing will happen tomorrow when---and if---the shuttle lifts off. It will all go smoothly, I predict.

So, stop worrying and light the fuse, already, eh?

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How Exactly Does One Coin A Phrase?

Is it one of those viral marketing sort of things, or what? Not that I have a coin to phrase, but rather that I like one that I read about in today's Financial Times. {Ed. If you're wondering why I'm suddenly citing FT articles, well, we recently got a subscription to the paper at the Cake Eater Pad. It's a good deal, too. Six days a week at $100/yr. My fellow Twin Cities residents who are frustrated with the Strib might want to look into this option.} The phrase in question: neo-Croms.

{...}Mr Flatters, chief executive of Future Foundation, the research group, thinks a tendency to take a po-faced attitude to the indulgences of others is on the increase. He has even turned this into a trend: the rise of the neo-Croms - short for neo-Cromwellians, in a nod to the censorious 17th century English statesman.

Neo-Croms support curtailing the consumption of alcohol, smoking, rich foods and some technology on health grounds and patronage of SUVs, budget airlines and mass tourism on environmental ones. To their critics, however, they seem keenest on regulating other people.

Mr Flatters said: "There is a culture out there in favour of restricting other people's pleasures. If you're a smoker but don't drink, then you are quite happy to see regulation on drinking. This is an assault on pleasure and many businesses are likely to see more regulation."

Evidence for the prosecution include calls by neo-Croms for tighter regulation of advertising for fast food and children's brands in European markets; smoking bans in New York, the Irish Republic, Sweden, Norway and Italy; and protests against SUV sales.

The most jaw-dropping claim made by the Future Foundation is that in a poll of 1,000 UK adults, 30 per cent agreed that pregnant women should receive a police caution for smoking in public.{...}

The rest of the article ponders the wisdom of actually gearing marketing towards these neo-Croms. It seems this might just be a fad, instead of a trend. Hence, the backlash could be huge against companies who gear marketing campaigns toward these people.

Which is hopeful, no?

In any case, spread the phrase around. It deserves wider recognition and is much classier than "smoking Nazis."

Posted by: Kathy at 10:36 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Kicking Ass For The Lord!

You knew it had to happen, right?

"Left Behind: Eternal Forces" is a real-time strategy game set in New York during the End of Days, which will allow gamers to choose between the angelic Tribulation Forces and the demonic Global Community Peacekeepers in a multiplayer online mode. The game is set to ship before Easter.

Left Behind CEO Troy Lyndon said the books have a diverse loyal reader base of more than 10 million parents, single adults, teens and kids. He said the company, which was founded in October 2001, will invest more money and resources into its first game than any Christian game has ever seen. Lyndon also said his games will be sold at Wal-Mart, which accounts for about 25% of all game sales.

"If only 10% of the readership buys our game, it will be a top hit, selling more than 1 million units," Lyndon said.

Pidgeon said that while a game success on the level of Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" movie might be possible down the road with a big franchise like "Left Behind," films are still much more accessible to the Christian demographic than video games.{...}

The husband, Mr. MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games) himself has confidently predicted that everyone is going to want to be an evil Global Community Peacekeeper, no matter how much they love the Lord.

{Hat Tip: Steeeeeve-o.}

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Sleeping With The Fishes

I present for your perusal an interesting article from this weekend's Financial Times about the hows and whys of the Sicilian mafia's ability to live on in this day and age.

The author grew up in Sicily, but moved to London to start a law practice and has since become a novelist. The anecdotes she shares are startling, if for no other reason than that they show the Sicilian populace's willing participation in the system of "clientelism" that brings the mafia its power. Even if the participation is that of the unthinking variety:

{...}”Mafiosita” lurks within me, and it came out powerfully last summer. I was at our family estate in Sicily. My grandchild cut his hand; while I was holding him in my arms, blood flowed copiously. I rushed to the telephone and called a friend: “Whom do you know at A&E?”, I asked. Had I been in London, I would have gone straight to the local hospital.

I thought long and hard on that episode, and was shamed. Distrustful of the ability of the local health service to deliver services without an “introduction”, I had resorted to the “known ways”: personal contact. My friend is just a friend, but for people less privileged than I, the Mafia is always ready - at a price - to be the “best of all friends”, and it has friends in all places. Sciascia was right: there is “something of the Mafia” in each of us. My father would have been ashamed of me.{...}

Go read the whole thing. It's fascinating.

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Ahhh, Summer

...wherein a good fifty people who came to the Cake Eater Chronicles on a daily basis to read said crap have gone on vacation for what seems is the entire month of July.

The little traitors.

What is it with you people, eh? I put out perfectly good content, day in and day out, to amuse/educate/enlighten y'all and you people desert me, like rats from a barge loaded with bat guano, the minute the weather turns nice. Oh, sure. I provide a great escape from your troubles in the winter, but when summer comes around, well, it's a Wham, Bam, I'm Off To the Beach, Ma'am situation.

Pfft.

Get with the program and start pumping my sitemeter back up or I'll export all the labor of this here operation to India. Then I'll sic Lou Dobbs on you. He'll start plugging "The Exporting of the Cake Eater Chronicles" on his newshour. He'll interview me and in reply, when he starts cutting into me for my behavior, I'll say, "Hey, Lou, what do you want me to do? I'm apparently too expensive for my readers. I've got to cut costs somewhere, and labor is my biggest cost. A typing monkey in Bangalore is much cheaper than I am and is bound to attract more American readers, given that their particular tastes run to Asian Lesbian pr0n." Lou will be saddened by the news, but, surprisingly, he will finally get a grip, take things in context and he will understand. In response, he will turn on you my not-so-devoted Cake Eater readers, and it'll be ugly.

So, save yourself the trouble of being flogged day in and day out by Lou Dobbs, my-soon-to-be-devoted-again Cake Eater readers, and get with the program, ya dig?

You honestly don't want to have to wash that hairshirt every day, do you?

Posted by: Kathy at 12:43 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Jimmy Hoffa's Spinning In His Grave

Wherever that might be.

Like Martini Boy, I find it particularly delicious that the unions are turning on one another. And they deserve it.

After years of horrific mismanagement, corruption and thuggish behavior, they're trying to find a way to make themselves more relevant in this modern age. Problem is, as Martini Boy pointed out, is that everything they're "fighting for" has now been enacted into legislation, with OSHA and other regulatory agencies fighting their battles for them, ergo they're irrelevant.

They've shot themselves in the foot, in other words, and now they're whining about who pulled the trigger.

The husband's family---his father, in particular---have spent their entire lives working in manufacturing and trucking and some of the stories they've told could and will make your hair curl. What happened to Stephen's uncle, while appalling, is hardly uncommon. One of the husband's uncles worked for Maytag for years---in Iowa, which is a Right to Work state---and, in direct violation of the laws of the State of Iowa, was outed to the entire factory as a non-union member in a union newsletter. Which, of course, led to harrassment on the factory floor. Nothing was ever done about it. Another uncle, in the late sixties, ran a trucking operation out of the Quad Cities. He managed a non-union shop that did runs from Moline up to Chicago. This, if you know the history of the Teamsters, was not a good idea. This particular uncle was in Chicago one time and was "invited" to come and chat with a particular individual. That particular individual turned out to be Jimmy Hoffa himself, who told the uncle, in no uncertain terms, that he'd better start hiring Teamsters to do the driving---and only Teamsters---or there would be trouble. This uncle eventually took another job, but found out some twenty years later that "Mr. Hoffa" had put a contract out on his life. And that the contract was still good, all those years later.

Even the father-in-law has had his own run-ins. An apprentice tool and die maker, he worked at the Rock Island Arsenal when he was just starting out and, partly because of the harrassment he'd seen dished out to his elder siblings, he refused to go union. I believe the fact that the arsenal was a federally run institution saved his bacon on union membership, but I could be wrong. What's particularly interesting in the father-in-law's case was that he eventually worked his way up to management, winding up as the general manager of the first car parts manufacturing plant in America that actually shipped parts to the Japanese. He's moved around in his career quite a bit, but he's still a manufacturing manager and he's never worked in a plant that was union since his days at the Arsenal. He always makes sure his employees are safe and well-paid because he doesn't want the unions coming in. He learned the lesson the unions were threatening and coercing people to learn with their tactics: treat your employees well. The father-in-law did so and he's never had to deal with a union ever again. He may bitch about OSHA's lock-out/tag-out procedures, but he follows the law to the letter: he just doesn't want to have to deal with it, so he works hard to make certain he doesn't have to.

Unions, in this day and age, have painted themselves into the corner of irrelevancy. Most people think them corrupt: which is an image the unions have worked hard over the years to downplay. What I find interesting is that the proof is always and forever in the pudding. When I managed the Caribou, it was located inside a grocery store, which was, of course, union, Minnesota not being a Right To Work state. I cannot tell you how many cashiers worked 39.5 hours a week. These employees were union members, yet the union never stepped up to ensure they could get benefits to go with this full-time employment. They never lobbied the management of the grocery stores to list full-time employment at less than forty-hours a week. I, the manager of a non-union coffee shop, hit FT when I worked 36 hours a week. My employees were elgible for health insurance and the company 401K plan when they worked more than 22 hours a week for three months. This, of course, says nothing of the poor stock and bag boys and girls, who were mostly under the age of eighteen, who were excited to receive their first paycheck and yet were dismayed when it actually arrived. Why? Because a big percentage had been automatically deducted for union dues. Dues for a union they were ineligible to join because they were under the age of eighteen, and, more importantly, a union they had never signed up for membership in the first place. When the story became clear---that they could not work at the grocery store without being a member of the grocery union---they came looking to me for a job. Which I couldn't give them because my store was grandfathered into a verbal agreement wherein the grocery store management wouldn't poach my employees and I wouldn't poach theirs. I felt bad for all of these people. They paid money to a union who took money from their paychecks without their permission and who did absolutely nothing for them when it came right down to the nitty gritty of the matter. Mr. H's dad was a Teamster for years. His trucking company offered him early retirement, in part because the math dictated that it was cheaper in the long run to hire younger, less senior labor, and to put the more senior union members out to pasture than it was to solely rely on the more senior union members for this company's workforce. Mr. H's dad took the deal and retired. Now he's working again, driving shipments of gravel for a nursery who supplies landscapers. Why? Because the cost of his Teamster's health insurance went up. He has to work to be able to afford the union health insurance. I could go on, but I think you get the gist: they've made things so expensive, not only for employers, but for their members as well. There is more of a downside to union membership these days than there is an upside.

You'd think the Unions would slap each other on the back nowadays, telling each other "good job," and then move on to other labor causes in other places. But they don't. They stay in highly developed countries, where in the level of living is high---hence the dues they collect are high---and live off of that, whilst bleating on about a cause that has less and less relevance in said world. After all, it may be the AFL-CIO International but international only means the U.S. and Canada. There are plenty of people in Asia, Central and South America, to name a few places home to the world's sweatshops, that could use their help. These workers are truly underpaid, abused and work in unsafe conditions. But the big unions don't go there and organize the labor. They stay here and cause trouble because it's more comfortable.

Makes you wonder what Eugene V. Debs would think of their behavior, eh?

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July 22, 2005

Best. Comment. Ever.

So, have you seen this beast yet?

Fatshark.jpg

It appears some fishermen caught this 1,100 pound bugger off of Martha's Vineyard for a shark catching contest or something like that. Apparently, they didn't win the prize because they were six minutes late getting back into port. Which is a bloody shame if you ask me, but anyway...over at Galley Slaves, where I found this, one astute, yet anonymous, commenter left what I consider to be the Best. Comment. Ever.

I can't believe they are parading Ted Kennedy around like that...

{Insert copious snorts of glee here}

Posted by: Kathy at 01:02 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Life Lessons

With a heartwarming tale from his days on a lawn crew, Chad reminds us that, "Stoned, paranoid, and stupid is no way to go through a day at work."

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Gas Prices Need To Go Down

Not because they're affecting me other than making me pay through the nose for produce. No sirreee. We could not have picked a better time to go car-less. No, what I am referring to is the new and somewhat unusual habit of everyone and their brother of driving mopeds around town.

This is annoying.

Now, I don't mind the new little Vespas. These are actually cute and they don't make noise. But these Vespas have, it seems, started a trend wherein people are pulling long unused, twenty-year-old Honda mopeds out of their garages and are firing them up for transportation purposes.

It sounds like people are driving chainsaws up and down my street.

Now, I can understand why, with gas at $2.20 a gallon, it would be nice to have an alternative---and cheap---form of transportation with which to accomplish your daily running around. Particularly when the weather is agreeing with the desire to rattle around on a moped. But seriously, folks. If the thing is put-put-put-putting along, you might want to get the engine checked, ya dig? You might also want to---and this is just a suggestion, mind you, so don't shoot the messenger---get the engine checked if said moped is emitting loads of black smoke. You're burning whatever small amount of oil it takes to keep one of those things running and it STINKS.

Also, it might behoove you to learn how to drive the stupid things. Just because you have a small moped and can whiz around with ease, does NOT mean you get to jump a curb and drive along the sidewalk when traffic is heavy. This also means if you're going to turn right on a red, well, don't mow down the people in the crosswalks, thinking we can get out of your way more easily than you can get out of ours. PEDESTRIANS HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY. Learn this or I will not be held accountable for my actions, ya dig?

Ok, I feel better now.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:54 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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July 21, 2005

Let Me Be The First To Announce

I might be a wee bit precipitous in this and I might earn myself a big spanking from my Maximum Leader for the trouble expended, but, it looks as if The Naked Villains FINALLY have completed their site redesign. Looks sweet, kids. Lovin' the gargoyle. (That is a gargoyle, isn't it? We all need more gargoyles in our lives. And particularly in the blogosphere, too. They're a necessary evil to protect us from moonbats.) I sense the fine and accomplished hand of Sadie in all of this.

But, really and truly, what's really important in all of this is that...

AHEM

...THEY FINALLY HAVE COMMENTS!

Let me speak for the entire blogosphere when I say, "Thank 'Effin God." For there was no more frustrating of a blog than the "old" Naked Villainy. All that debate and no bloody way to get in on the action other than to email.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:49 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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