Ever notice that when a

Ever notice that when a word has an Arabic origin, the English-speaking
media is never on the same page as how to spell the same words?
A few examples that I've seen...
Al-Qaeda/Al-Qaida/Al-Quida/Quaida/Quaeda
Ghaddafi/Ghadaffi/Qadaffi (and on a completely unrelated aside, I still
want to know why---if this guy is the supreme ruler of Libya----is he
only a Colonel.
Shouldn't he be a general or a marshal or something like that?)
Mouqtada al Sadr/Muntada Al-Sadr
I could go on, but I think you get the gist. What's the deal here? Why
can't they get on the same page about the spelling? Highly annoying.
With everyone coming up with their own versions, that undoubtedly
sprung from the desire to be multicultural in extremis, it's hard to
know which one is right. This inconsistency drives the 7th Grade
Spelling Bee Champ in me NUTS!
Anyway this is just another example, my devoted Cake Eater readers, of
what it's like to be inside my brain.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:39 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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We all might as well

We all might as well make some money guessing on how long this
is going to last. After all, there's no sense in speculating on this
sort of thing for free, not when there's practically a golden guarantee
that it won't last.
My guess is that they'll last about ten months. April 2005 and Marc
will be back in the Dominican Republic filing for a quickie divorce.
Any takers?
UPDATE: The bookies are calling it at 3-1 for a divorce by the end of the year.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:38 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Fausta's got the scoop on

Fausta's got the scoop on Blaque Jacques'internal political woes.
And she's also got one seriously funny picture of Blacque Jacques up
there that I think I'm going to have to work into my Blaque Jacques
Shellac "Wanted" poster.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:36 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Go here and follow the

Go here and follow the links.

To be French about it: Le Ugh.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:27 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The battle for control of

The battle for control of the TV taken to a whole new level.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:26 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Powell and Annan are getting

Powell and Annan are getting the runaround in Sudan....already.

EL FASHER, Sudan (Reuters) - The Sudanese government has
disappointed Secretary of State Colin Powell in talks on the crisis in
the troubled western region of Darfur, a senior U.S. official said
Wednesday. Powell, on the second day of a visit to Sudan, arrived in
Darfur Wednesday for a first-hand look at some of the million people
displaced by marauding Arab militias in what the United Nations calls
the world's worst humanitarian crisis. He has threatened unspecified
U.N. Security Council action if Khartoum does not crack down on the
militias, known locally as the Janjaweed, and streamline relief work in
the region. But a senior U.S. official said that in Powell's initial
talks the Sudanese did not realize the gravity of the crisis. "They are
in a state of denial. They are in a state of avoidance. They are trying
to obfuscate and avoid any consequences," said the official, who asked
not to be named. To add to the international pressure, the United
States plans to share the draft of a U.N. Security Council resolution
on Darfur with other members in New York Wednesday, he added.

In the meantime, the UN Security Council is doing it's usual strong language thing:

UNITED NATIONS - The United States wants the United Nations
(news - web sites) to impose an arms embargo and travel ban on Arab
militias blamed for a humanitarian crisis in Sudan's western Darfur
region, where more than 1 million people have fled their homes. The
proposed U.N. resolution, obtained Wednesday by The Associated Press,
does not call for any action against the Sudanese government, which the
United States and humanitarian groups accuse of backing the militias,
known as the Janjaweed. But the U.S. draft would put the U.N. Security
Council on record expressing "its determination to do everything
possible to avoid a humanitarian catastrophe, including by taking
further action if required." Philippines U.N. Ambassador Lauro Baja,
the current Security Council president, said the resolution should send
"a strong signal to the government" that it needs to take action. The
release of the resolution was timed to the visit Wednesday to the
Sudanese capital, Khartoum, by U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan and
Secretary of State Colin Powell, Baja said.

Forgive me for questioning the intelligence of the members of the Security Council, but wtf? An arms and travel embargo directed at the Arab militias?
Woooh. I know my knees are knocking! The militias must be absolutely
terrified at the thought of having their guns and travel cut off by the
UN! What a horrifying prospect! /sarcasm.
The one word that could do a world of difference in this matter is the
one word that no one---particularly not at the UN---wants to say. That
word is "genocide" and we're back to the same old "is it or isn't it"
quibbling that happened with Rwanda. How many people have to die before
the UN does more than introducing "strongly worded" resolutions to the
Security Council? Food aid and humanitarian crises aside for a moment,
the real problem here is that people are being killed for no more than
the color of their skin. They are being raped and pillaged and
terrorized. What's more, my friends, is that the raping and pillaging
is being supported by the legally recognized government of Sudan.
These would be the same people that Kofi and Colin are chatting with.
These are the same people who apparently don't see the problem in the
same light that we do. This situation is reminiscent of the mammoth
pink elephant who's plopped himself down in the middle of the living
room and everyone is determined to ignore his presence, even though
they can't see or talk around him.

The proposed resolution calls on the Sudanese government
"to cease all military attacks in Darfur, disarm and neutralize the
Janjaweed militias ... protect civilians ... cooperate fully with all
humanitarian relief organizations and provide them unrestricted and
sustained access for the provision of humanitarian relief." The draft
endorses the deployment of international monitors from the African
Union to Darfur and asks Annan to send U.N. human rights monitors as
well and "to consider what other measures may be needed to avoid a
humanitarian catastrophe." It would authorize an arms embargo on the
Janjaweed as well as a ban on military training. It would also impose a
travel ban on Janjaweed militia members whose names are on a list that
would be compiled by a new Security Council committee to monitor the
sanctions. Baja said the draft has not yet been introduced to the
Security Council, though some members have been given copies.

What's surprising me is that this is a US written resolution. Quite frankly, I'm seriously disappointed. We can do better. We must
do better. The US government has promised we will not have peace in
southern Sudan on the backs of those in Darfur, but the fact they
didn't go farther here by at least mentioning what the
government is doing tells me that they're trying not to step on too
many toes. It's a rough situation to be in, no doubt. We've blown a lot
of capital at the UN with Iraq. It had to be done, don't get me wrong,
but it's hampering us right now, and we're stuck with strongly worded
resolutions that don't do a thing about the people who are supplying
the guns and the air support, but say a whole lot about a group of
people we have no hopes of regulating. It's meaningless in real terms.
The fact the words are being written in the first place is important, I
know. That's not slipping past me. But it doesn't mean a damn thing in
the real world. It may open doors, but are they the right doors? Are
they doors we need to open? Are they doors that by opening them the
problem will be solved? The real question here is not if the people of
the south are going to have peace on the backs of those in Darfur: it's
if the people of Iraq are having a chance at peace and prosperity on
the backs of those in Darfur.
I sincerely hope there's some grand strategy here that I'm missing, but
if this is it, well, I'm not too impressed. Superman has never been
more naked than he is right now.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:24 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Or at least the husband

Or at least the husband does. Apparently I don't count.

Letter Page One (click on the photo so you don't have to put your readers on)


Bush Letter 2


Picture
Suitable For Framing
There's absolutely nothing of particular concern for me in this letter.
It's the same 'ol, same 'ol as far as I can tell, although with less of
an alarming tone than of campaigns past. What I find interesting,
however, is that the husband and I are directly next to each other on
the voting roster. I've seen the book when we've gone to vote in the
past. I'm listed directly above him (alphabetical order. K comes before
M). We're both registered Republicans and yet he gets the solicitation letters and I don't.

Why is that, do you think?

It's not like I want
to be on the mailing list, but it makes me wonder about the grand
strategy attached to fundraising. I've tried to find a logical reason
for this. I thought perhaps the database was screwed up. Nope. Every
place we've registered to vote---in Des Moines and two different
precincts here in the Cities---said registration has resulted in phone
calls and mailings, but always to the husband, and never to me. I
thought perhaps they knew that I had registered as an independent in my
youth and had banned me for that association, but now that I know how
bad databases are in actuality, it's patently obvious that no one has
done that much work or even cares. This has been a peculiarity for the
nearly ten years that we've been married. Particularly when we lived in
Des Moines in 1996. The letters and phone calls wouldn't stop coming,
but when they came, they were always and forever for the husband. Never
for me. I've come to the conclusion that good Republican men are---in
the experience of the RNC---the ones who sign the checks that keep the
ads on the air. Do women not bother contributing money? Are we some
sort of demographic that the Republicans need not bother with, even
though we've declared that we're on their side? That cannot possibly be true. Either it's patriarchial or its demographical, but either way it's sexist as hell. Like I said above, it's not like I want
to be included on the mass mailers, but jeez people, how many potential
donors are you missing out on because you seemingly only send these
things to the person at the address with a Mr. in front of their name?
I can understand not wanting to waste money on mass-mailings to groups
of people who traditionally don't bother. That's understandable, but
come on! When you've got two people in the house who are registered
under the same party and over a ten year span one consistently gets
mail and the other doesn't, how many potential donors are you missing
out on? There have got to be more than a few. Of course all of this
makes the assumption that I'm not the only one this has happened to. I
don't know for sure. But I can't think that with the consistency of all
this that I am. It is odd, though. *(Election-Free Zone Rule is OFF for this post. Skip on by if you so choose.)

Posted by: Kathy at 01:23 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I have an announcement to

I have an announcement to make:

Seldom Sober will
be staying at the Cake Eater Apartment on his trek across this great
land in September.
Of course, this came as somewhat of a surprise to the husband this
morning when I told him about SS's RSVP to my offer. (He'd tuned out
when I told him that I'd made the offer the other night)
Should be good fun. Now I'm going to go and lie down.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:19 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Dude, I know working at

Dude, I know working at the mall can be boring at times, but you have Orange Julius' to console yourself.

Next time the urge to set fire to a spider overcomes you, walk down to the food court and make your mouth happy, ok?

Posted by: Kathy at 01:18 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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But not in a "Michael

But not in a "Michael Moore is fat" or a "Teddy Kennedy Drunk at
Chappaquiddick" sort of way. Go over and pass along your best "get well soon" wishes.

And then say a few Hail Mary's for the dude. He's trying his best not to freak out.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:15 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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...there's nothing more satisfying than

...there's nothing more satisfying than finding a metaphor you can run with.

Claudia Rosett runs with a family metaphor in today's Opinion Journal
and it's well worth reading.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:13 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The husband can be a

The husband can be a cheeky bugger at times. Particularly when it comes
to signing up to be on mailing lists. The fact that we're on a budget
doesn't play any part in his decision to sign up for something that
will land him on a mailing list. Need an example? The bugger signed up
to receive "more information" from NetJets'.
It's not like we'll ever qualify for fractional jet ownership---he
wants to see what it's all about. Not only do we get loads of mail from
Netjets, they've, of course, sold off his name to other companies.
Normally I shred most of it, but a brochure came in the mail today from
this company and all I can really say is, "damn, I wish I had some money!"

Expeditions via private jets. Very cool. Expensive as hell, but if you've got $35K+ per person
to blow on travel, by all means go for it. No one will begrudge you.
The trip I liked wasn't on the website just yet. It's called "Hidden
Treasures of the Old World." You start off in London, from there you
travel to the Dordogne Valley in France to see the Lascaux cave
paintings. Next stop is Marrakech. Then it's off to Tunisia to visit
the ruins of Carthage and Dougga; Valetta and M'dina in Malta; Luxor in
Egypt, and then you get to visit the Lost City of Petra (think Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade).
From there you will be whisked away to scenic Dubrovnik, Croatia,
which, according to the brochures, still looks like like it did in
medieval times, and overlooks the Adriatic. St. Petersburg is the final
stop of the tour, with all of the glories of the Hermitage available to
your wandering eye.
That sounds SO damn cool. And they've apparently gone to great pains to
resist the tour bus urge, which makes it even better. Four star hotels
and a private Boeing 757 so you don't have to deal with the hassle of
commerical airports. Mmmmmm. Sounds loverly. Go and piddle around on
the site. The trip to India looks awesome as well. COME ON, POWERBALL!

Posted by: Kathy at 01:12 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Ahhhhhhh What---exactly---it is about Minnesota

Ahhhhhhh

What---exactly---it is about Minnesota that within a two-week span you can contemplate turning the furnace back on and be forced to turn the AC on because it's suddenly ninety degrees outside?

On second though, don't answer that. I already know the answer.

Thank God for Honeywell thermostats, though. If they didn't exist, I'd have no sense of control whatsoever.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:03 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I so don't feel like

I so don't feel like blogging today. Not only is it raining (@#$%^&
AGAIN!), but I'm not feeling well, so I will leave you with a few links
to keep you from resorting to all those porn sites. Consider this your
methadone to keep you from falling back on your former addictions.
Go and read this. The husband says it's interesting.

Jeff is wondering about silk robes and how you tuck them into a pair of Birks. Read the original article. Very interesting.

Fascinating excerpts from an interview with the last surviving leader of the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising.

This was playing in the Cake Eater Office a little while ago. It always gives me a chuckle.

I am now going to go and lie down.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:02 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Sigh. It's finally happening. By

Sigh.

It's finally
happening. By the end of the week, light rail cars will soon be rolling
through a Twin Cities neighborhood hell and gone from where you live.
Or where I live. And, technically speaking, it's not that far away from
where I live. About five miles or so. I'd just have to drive to the
station, and in the process hop over a freeway to get to the closest
one. Now, the idea of light rail here in the Twin Cities doesn't bother
me. At all. I think mass transportation is a good idea, and I
particularly like the idea of trains. I love Chicago, and one of my
reasons for loving it is the El. Life is easier when you can pop on a
train that runs 24/7 and you can get around faster than you could if
you were on the freeway. Mass transport is supposed to simplify your
life. Take the bus. Have a cup of joe and read the paper while we whisk you to work.
Except that doesn't happen with the buses for the most part. Your life
isn't made more convenient. It's made into a living hell unless there's
a bus stop right outside your door. And it's a main line, too. They're
inconvenient. They cost a great deal to ride, particularly during rush
hour when it's $1.75 a pop. They don't go to the suburbs more than a
few times a day if they service them at all. They take longer, etc. I
could go on. I live on a bus route: it's convenient for me to hop a bus
to the mall or to downtown or Uptown. But if I want to go someplace
else, well, expect it to take more than an hour and you're forced to
stick to the most circuitous route possible with at least one transfer.
If they advertise that bussing it to work is supposed to be convenient,
well, it should be convenient. The Met Council, which is the intra-city
organization which takes care of the transit problems here in the
Cities, decided almost ten years ago to start up with light rail, to
make mass transport more convenient. Huh? Aren't the buses supposed to be convenient?
Apparently they came to the same conclusion that everyone who rides the
buses came to: it's not convenient. So the issue of light rail was
raised, and it took off for a few reasons, the main ones being the Mall
of Gomorrah (pardon moi, the Mall of America) and the airport which are
near to each other in Bloomington. By running it from MOA to downtown
with a stop at the airport, they could get mucho federal funding. And
Congressman Sabo came through for the Met Council on this one. Big, big
bucks. Added up with state funds, the grand total came close to $70
million dollars. How long is the line? you ask.
11.5 miles.

Light Rail---Hiawatha Line (click for obnoxiously large size)

Then take a look at the Cities' geography.
Then do the math.
So, not only is this thing a big ass waste of money, it's also nowhere
near the majority of the residents of the Twin Cities. Sure it goes
from Bloomington all the way downtown, but most people don't live in
Minneapolis proper. Why? Because it's too bloomin' expensive. The taxes
are outrageous. The schools suck. The house prices are through the
roof. It's expensive to live in Minneapolis. But if you move to the
outer burbs, you can afford a house. You can afford two cars, which is
a good thing because you're going to need them because you're going to
be driving all hours of the day and night to get places. The Hiawatha
Line isn't all that controversial because it's going into a
neighborhood of people who want mass transit, and moreover who can
afford to foot the bill for it. People who think it's neat
and that it will add to the cache of the Twin Cities. The Hiawatha line
isn't going to help the struggling families in the outer burbs who
would love to be able to take a train or a bus to work because it would
cut down on their commute time and they'd be able to spend more time
with their families. This isn't going to help low-income single parents
because, for the most part, they've been forced out to the suburbs,
too. Mass transportation is supposed to be a cheap way to get
around---it's supposed to be designed to serve the masses and I
just don't see how a line from Bloomington to downtown Minneapolis,
which is already serviced by three freeways and many buses (MOA is a
bus hub), is going to achieve what needs to be achieved in terms of
reducing congestion. It's mainly for the tourists. Not the people who
live here. Now, I'm not against light rail, per se. Like I wrote above,
I think trains would be a great idea here in the Cities. I just think
those transportation dollars could have been better spent servicing the
people in the suburbs, where there is little to no mass transportation
and where all the freeway congestion is. This line does nothing to
allieviate the woes it was supposed to. Sure it's a big leap forward as
far as thinking differently, but they weren't smart about it. And now
the idea of light rail to any of the other burbs hinges on its
success, as you can tell from the article above. If this doesn't work,
well, they're not going to spend any more money on trains. They've set
themselves up for failure by picking this location. Sure, it was the
easiest way to get the federal government to pick up the tab, but
they've hamstrung themselves when it comes to future issues because
they chose the path of least resistance for the trial run.
The waste involved is sickening.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:01 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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US 1st Infantry Division commander,

US 1st Infantry Division commander, General Huebner, sets up command post on Omaha Beach.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:00 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Why don't you, erm, do

Why don't you, erm, do what he said.

And stop trying to stick your tongue down Gerhard's throat!

(See? I told
you the Llama Butchers were totally worth a daily visit!)

Posted by: Kathy at 12:59 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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General Huebner

General Huebner

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The JANE AUSTEN CAGE MATCH

The JANE AUSTEN CAGE MATCH is on!

Robert has finally sent me his essay. I've sent him mine---both will be posted here and at The Llamabutchers . Just to refresh your memory, the rules are as follows:

1. A 500 word essay
2. One rebuttal each
3. You vote to see who wins.

Without further ado, here is Robert's essay.

There is a certain “pitchforks and torches” character
to most criticism of Emma. This often takes the form of facile
dismissal – Emma is a rich, selfish, thoughtless bitch: why should we
care? More̢۪s the pity, because in fact Emma is one of the most
emotionally conducive figures in literature. First of all, there are
the charms that bind us to Emma in the opening chapters. Among these
are her innate goodness, as illustrated by her happiness for the
Westons̢۪ marriage, her exertions to ensure her father̢۪s comfort,
and other smaller episodes. Indeed, it is critical to remember that in
taking Harriet Smith under her wing, Emma genuinely believes –
however wrongly – that she is doing a good thing. Emma also is
undoubtedly intelligent. Indeed, Mr. Knightly believes that her natural
cleverness at an early age is a factor in her spoiled condition. But
Emma̢۪s intelligence is manifested in more than mere cleverness or
competence. For example, her declamation to Harriet on why she (Emma)
plans never to marry, despite containing a certain amount of posturing
vanity, demonstrates a very clear understanding of the politics of
marriage in her world. Second, I do not believe that Emma has a sudden
epiphany about herself after the Box Hill incident. Rather, she is
aware of her own shortcomings at a subconscious level from the very
beginning, as illustrated by her constant attachment to Mr. Knightly
despite the fact that he is the only character in the story who
criticizes her - She seeks out his opinion because she knows this is
good for her. It is these qualities in Emma, together with her charm
and beauty, that make us love her – and make us all the more
emotionally involved in the fallout from her shortcomings, chief among
which, of course, is her self-blinding vanity. We cringe on Emma̢۪s
behalf when she so cruelly dismisses poor Farmer Martin and nearly
destroys Harriet. We wish to flash warning signals at her as she idly
muses about Jane Fairfax and Mr. Dixon and dallies with the shadowy
Frank Churchill. We howl with laughter at her surprised indignation
over Mr. Elton̢۪s feverish proposal in the carriage. We genuinely weep
with her over her Box Hill disgrace. Finally, we feel Emma̢۪s distress
at the sudden horrid thought of losing Mr. Knightly and her painfully
humbling realization that such loss would, indeed, be entirely her own
fault.
And here, really, is why I enjoy Emma more than Pride and Prejudice.
Elizabeth Bennett is a paragon of virtues. But she comes pre-packaged.
Elizabeth̢۪s struggle is with the world around her. Emma̢۪s struggle
is within herself and we, the readers, are made an intimate part of it.
We are not treated to an omniscient third-person view of Highbury.
Rather, we see what Emma sees and what Emma ought to see. The pattern
of growth in her character is mapped by the eventual merger of these
two viewpoints in her eyes. The true joy of the novel is watching
Emma̢۪s progress and arrival

And here is mine.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

And so begins Pride and Prejudice,
a novel that has enthralled readers for almost two hundred years. The
plot could be summarized thusly: how to bag a rich husband when you
yourself are not rich. Women all over the world are still enslaved to
this task. However, our young heroine Miss Elizabeth Bennet has a
heavier load to bear than just trying to inveigle a man into buying her
a beach house: she wants to be in love with her husband, and if the man
just happens to be rich, well all the better, but it̢۪s not really
necessary. The odds are not in her favor, yet Lizzie succeeds. She bags
Mr. Darcy and he loves her. Why? Because Lizzie has character. She has
strength. She knows what she wants. She̢۪s not Wonder Woman, but she
could be. And what a spectacular superheroine she̢۪d be. There
wouldn̢۪t be any Peter Parker-ish quibbling over the heaviness of her
burdens; there wouldn̢۪t be any Batman-like whining about
loneliness---although Alfred would undoubtedly hector her over the
state of the Batmobile, just because he̢۪s Alfred. She may not be able
or fly above the skies of Metropolis, but Lex Luthor is a chump
compared to Lady Catherine De Bourgh. You have to admit, on a super
heroine level, Lizzie would make the League of Justice blush for all
the whining they̢۪ve done over the years. And she̢۪s just looking for
a husband---she̢۪s not out to save the frickin̢۪ world.
Yet, while our Lizzie possesses admirable qualities, the people she
encounters are not charmed. They think her coarse and opinionated; that
she does not know her station. While they plot against her, she never
willfully blinds herself to their intentions, hence she is able to
retaliate on her own terms. Lizzie chooses to be different: not simply to be contrary, but because she trusts her own heart and mind---and that makes
her different. Whatever issues she may wrestle with, she is confident
in her own abilities to suss out the situation in a rational manner.
She is a woman of sense, not silliness. Lizzie is admirable because she
chooses a challenging path; Emma chooses to make her life more
interesting by meddling in the affairs of others. There̢۪s honestly no
comparison between their virtues: Lizzie is far superior and is much
more interesting to read about because the world conspires against her
goal: to find a husband she loves and respects. Emma has nothing to
lose and her blunders are of her own making, while Lizzie, by following
her path, deliberately places herself in a precarious situation where
to make a mistake would be to sabotage her entire future. Who would you
rather read about? A character who is naïve in the extreme? Or someone
who knows the world is against her yet has the courage to follow
through?

Posted by: Kathy at 12:46 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Why stoners should never attempt

Why stoners should never attempt robbery.

I suppose he had to take consolation in the fact that a chocolate bar will at least help with the munchies.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:44 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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