{crosses fingers, toes and throws

{crosses fingers, toes and throws in a hail mary for shits and giggles}

Posted by: Kathy at 05:05 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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{Not safe for Mom} With

{Not safe for Mom}

With a little wocka-wocka-chicka action as a payoff.

Election night might actually be fun!

(h/t the ec)

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This really isn't all that

This really isn't all that interesting, but I figured I'd share. You know, because I'm a giving person.

Anyway. Ahem.

I just figured out that the Scott Stanzel I knew vaguely in college is indeed the press secretary for the Bush-Cheney Campaign.
I've been hearing his name for months, but there was never any video or
a picture shown that could tell me if it was him or not. Being too lazy
to Google, I waited it out, and I finally saw him on Fox this
afternoon, and yep, it's him. Hmmph.
To explain: his older sister was in my sorority and we knew him through
her. We called him "Little Stanzel," and talked about how adorably
earnest he was. I think I was even on a VEISHEA committee
with him. Or something like that. I vaguely remember talking with him
about something VEISHEA related. It's been a long time. I can barely
remember, which is fine because I'm sure he doesn't remember me. Upon
reviewing this post, I've determined its so boring I cannot even be
bothered to come up with a decent self-defamtory punchline. Hmmph.
UPDATE: 09/01/2004 Just realized that if we still lived in Des Moines, I
would have seen this as my connection to greatness. Now, well... I
don't really care all that much. I mean, people, come on. If I couldn't
be bothered to Google to see if someone I knew once upon a time is the
mouthpiece for the Bush-Cheney campaign, well, that speaks volumes as
to how much I really don't care about the election nowadays.
Is this one of those dreaded signs of maturity? Naaaaaah. It's a sign
of boredom.

Posted by: Kathy at 04:53 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Clippy Is All-Knowing, isn't he?

Clippy Is All-Knowing, isn't he?

Shamelessly pilfered from Jay Reding

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Well,this explains a great deal

Well,this explains a great deal of the incessant chatter from parents about their children, doesn't it?

Researchers at the Kinsey Institute began their study in
1999 by giving 200 married couples who were planning on starting
families within the next four years Intelligence Quotient (IQ) tests.
By 2003, all but 27 of these couples had conceived. Another IQ test was
given to each set of parents successful in conceiving and birthing a
baby six months after their child was born. These results were compared
to the previous intelligence tests.
In every single one of the 173 cases, both parents scored at least
twelve points lower on the second IQ test, with the majority of parents
losing twenty or more IQ points. Dr. Hosung Lee, director of the study,
was not surprised with the findings. “The research proved that our
hypothesis was correct. Having children does retard one̢۪s brain
activity, and since both parents lost intelligence, we must assume that
this loss has a psychological rather than biological cause.”

I'll be interested to see when their IQ goes back up again.

UPDATE: Direct quote from my sister, Christi, regarding this study.

how about this for a hypothesis? when you become a parent,
you have no room in your brain for really important things since you
have to suddenly remember all there is to know about emergency first
aid care and where the diaper rash ointment is and how to get the
seatbelts in this *&!!@#@! car seat to work right! that's my theory
and I'm sticking to it.

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DAMN! Nothing quite like nipple

DAMN!
Nothing quite like nipple piercing first thing in the morning, eh?

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Eugene Armstrong, one of two

Eugene Armstrong, one of two Americans and a Briton who were kidnapped last week in Iraq, has been beheaded and his body has been recovered.

Rusty at mypetjawa has
the relevant information and has a link to the video should you choose
to watch it for reasons other than you're a perverted fuck who gets
their jollies from watching beheading videos. I watched it. Tears are
pouring down my cheeks. I'm literally shaking with fury and disgust,
and not a little bit of fear. Oh, my God. Poor, poor man. Folks, if you
watch the video, you will know who your enemy is. Your enemy is not
George W. Bush. Your enemy is not Tony Blair. Your enemy is not even
the French. Your enemies are radical islamic terrorists who think
beheading someone is the best way to get what they want. Your enemies
are radical islamic terrorists who---ahem---WOULDN'T THINK TWICE ABOUT DOING THE SAME THING TO YOU SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU'RE A WESTERNER.
And that's not a bit of hyperbole I've thrown out there to enliven my
writing, or to make you pay attention. It's the awful truth of the
situation. It would be Al-Zarqawi's wet dream to come to America and
start doing this to each and every citizen of this country. And if
you're not clear about that, or you think it's Bush who should be
decapitated and that you'd pay good money to see that, you have your
priorities in the wrong place. No amount of understanding them and their "plight" is going to change the plain and simple fact that they want to kill you. Do you think they bother to understand us?
You don't think Zarqawi orgasmed himself ten-fold when his henchmen
brought in two Americans and a Briton? This is a man who stood, hooded,
behind a shaking and weeping Eugene Armstrong and calmly read a
manifesto for six minutes. He eagerly handed the piece of paper he'd
been reading from, salaamed and then whipped a knife from its scabbard
and went after poor, bound and blindfolded Eugene Armstrong for no other reason than that he was an American.

Think about that for a minute, would you? Eugene Armstrong deserves as much.

These men do not give quarter. They do not want to understand you. They do not want more diversity of belief and thought in the world. They want everyone in the world to be like them. To believe what they believe and they will stop at nothing
to get what they want. There is no chance to "make peace" with these
people. If you learned nothing on 9/11 perhaps you should learn this:
these people don't want a truce. They will never want a truce. They
want war. They've been taught to revel in death, that there is much
glory to be found in a previously ignominious life if they kill
infidels. And guess what, my western friend, you are their enemy. Learn
that. It might keep you alive one day. Oh, that poor, poor man. My
thoughts and prayers go out to Eugene's family.

Posted by: Kathy at 03:50 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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One of the best parts

One of the best parts about my new wi-fi card is that I'm no longer
limited in the amount of bandwidth I am allowed to suck up. It's great.
I can now go here and watch all the trailers I want without being
forced to sit through endless hiccups. I can even watch the "large"
version and not have it crash! Fabulous! So, watching trailers is my
new favorite past-time. Love it. Today, I saw one for this film and it set me to wondering. (You can view it here)

If Miramax, this documentary's distributor, spent oodles of time and money promoting Fahrenheit 911, well then are they going to do the same thing for---ahem---a movie that gets it right?

I'm not holding my breath, either.

Posted by: Kathy at 03:46 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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...of the Montana Supreme Court

...of the Montana Supreme Court for defending the privacy rights of puking underage drinkers!

Ah, don't you just love case law?

Posted by: Kathy at 03:31 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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There is something seriously therapeutic

There is something seriously therapeutic about digging in the garden.

Even despite the fact it's nintey-degrees outside.

Even despite the fact that I think I threw my back out splitting the monster hostas.

Posted by: Kathy at 03:27 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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...what would I ask Wonkette?

...what would I ask Wonkette?

Oh, this is too damn good to pass up, so I'll provide a few.

1. Is there a perceived difference between paid bloggers and bloggers who don't receive money for their opinions? If so, whose opinions do you think carry more weight in the blogosphere?

2. Have you ever experienced blogger backlash, wherein you were piled upon for your opinions? Have you taken it, er, up your whoopsidaisy in terms of decreased traffic and linking for one particular item you wrote?

3. You were quite fascinated a few months ago with the size of, er, one of the presidential candidates', er, uhm, equipment. Did this bring in lasting readership? Or was it pretty much a quickie in terms of traffic increases?

I could go on.

Posted by: Kathy at 03:08 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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{Insert Godlike Voice Here} As

{Insert Godlike Voice Here}

As it was commanded, so it shall be done. And it was done. And, thanks to pshop filters, it was done artfully.

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Oh, excellent. Someone opened the

Oh, excellent. Someone opened the door for me!

Last night I was watching What Not To Wear (the American
version, not the British version) as I was falling asleep. What the two
brigthly-smiling, heavily unpleasant, bitchy fashion advisors do is
publically humiliate a woman when introducing themselves, send her to
their NY studio, make her bring all her clothes to the studio so they
can throw away all the clothes while making (yet more!) humiliating
snide comments. The 2 advisors then give her a debit card with $5,000
so she can shop in Manhattan for a wardobe of elegant flattering
clothes.
Last night's victim was a woman that just finished her PhD in
psychology who would be working as a psychology professor (isn't she a
little young for that, I wonder?) in Canada. They sent her out to shop
in nice SoHo boutiques where the average price of a pair of slacks is
$300. They insisted she wear high heels to work. They told her she
shouldn't wear bulky sweaters. They admired her long legs and told her
she should wear short skirts.
Seems to me the advisors have been inhaling the heady fumes of the
fashionista for too long.{...}

Amen!

I loathe the American version of What Not To Wear.
Stacy and Clinton are snots. There's really no way of getting around
it. And they're snotty snots to boot. Well, it's more Stacy, but
Clinton never contradicts her, so he's complicit in the snottiness.
They give off a "we can do no wrong, but you obviously have, so we're
going to show you!" attitude and it's not only condescending as hell,
but is just really, really annoying. Then when its all said and done,
they pat themselves on the back as much as they possibly can. It's "we
saved her/him from themselves! Aren't we great?"
Nope.
The problem here is that I've watched the UK version more times than I
can count, and it's so
much better. The overall premise is the same. Friends and loved ones
nominate someone for a fashion overhaul. The hosts show up and announce
that said overhaulee has been nominated for a makeover, but that they
have to show up with their entire wardrobe, agree to let the girls go
through it, they will pitch what doesn't work, and show the overhaulee
what would work. Off goes the overhaulee to shop with these
guidelines in mind. So, it's essentially the same show, only the
American version has different hosts and an extra half-hour to waste.
But once you compare and contrast the two shows you quickly realize the
American version doesn't hold a candle to the UK version. Why?
The hosts. Trinny and Susannah
host the UK version. Now, I will cop to being surprised by them. The
promos I watched showed these two English chicks handing out completely
reasonable advice whilst being somewhat snarky about it. Their tag line
was (and still is) "Your best friends won't tell you what not to wear. But we're not your best friends. And we will."
I think you can probably understand that with the seriously posh
English accents they sport, this comes off sounding a bit snotty.
What's surprising, though, is while they are a bit snarky, they also
have a good deal of tact once the hard part has passed. It's tough
love, British style. They act very much like a pair of British grannies
who wonder what's become of the girl they know and love because she's
dressing in a completely unflattering fashion. They honestly want to
see the person look great, and if that takes a bit of honesty, well, so
be it. But what's different is that they temper that honesty with
kindness and understanding, boosting the overhaulee up, gently showing
them the way, once the flaws are revealed. For them, more than half the
battle is getting their subjects to like the body they've got, working
around imperfections with sensible and flattering choices in clothes.
Once they've leaped that hurdle, well, it's all downhill. Furthermore, they're always right. I have yet to see one of their subjects look ridiculous at the end of it. They always look great.

Stacy and Clinton, however, don't give you the impression that they care at all. Oh, sure they say
they do, but it doesn't come through. It's all about fashion! What is
somewhat different with the American version is that they have little
"confessionals" in the subject's hotel room after a hard day of
shopping. And invariably, they always say something like "oh, my God, I
didn't realize how horrible I looked! God, I've got to change because I
just look like shit." This always leads me to believe that the subjects
don't believe the advice they've been given, but rather are succumbing
to peer pressure. And, of course, they US version never seems to
recommend reasonably priced items. They always send these people out to
shop at the priciest places available and that five grand they hand out
doesn't go a long ways in New York. Particularly when you're replacing
an entire wardrobe.
I was watching the American version not too long ago, and I wound up
feeling really sorry for the subject when the show was over. She was a
graphic designer in her early-thirties. She worked from her home and
was fond of big sweaters and jeans that she thought were comfortable,
if not the latest and greatest from The Gap. She'd just been chosen as
one of the fifty most eligible bachleorettes in Chicago, and as such,
her family and friends thought she should look the part. This poor girl
was just mortified that her family and friends had set her up for this.
And I mean mortified. She couldn't believe people thought she'd dressed
poorly. She took care of herself. In every "before" photo they showed
of her, she was completely made up, with full hair and makeup, and
she had her nails professionally done, which as any woman can tell you
is a wonderful thing, but is also a major pain in the ass to keep up
with. When you go down the road of the manicure, you learn quickly that
it's a trip you'll be taking weekly. They just don't last longer than
that. And it's a good hour (plus travel time) out of your schedule to
keep your hands looking pretty. Because that's essentially what
manicures are about: keeping your hands looking pretty. They are not so
much the professionally coated nails everyone thinks they're about. If
weekly manicures aren't a sign that someone cares about their
appearance, I don't know what is. Well, off she goes to New York for
the consult and Stacy and Clinton were just mean. Between them and the
subject they were literally fighting over what went in the garbage can.
The next day, of course, the subject rebelled when she went shopping.
At first she tried to stick to the rules, but she couldn't find
anything in her size at the trendy boutique they'd sent her to (she was
bigger than a size zero. go figure. most of us are.) and became
seriously frustrated and said the hell with it and went and bought
things she liked. That night she felt pretty good about herself and her
choices. The next day, however, she was intercepted by Stacy and
Clinton and they berated her for her choices. "God. What is this?
It's awful! Do you really want to be suck in 1989?. That night, sure
enough, in her hotel room, completely broken-down, she decided it was
easier to drink the kool-aid than put up a fight any longer. Once she
drank the kool-aid, she was fine and was pliable for the hair and
make-up changes, and on the whole, was happy with the overall result.
When she went home and showed herself off it was apparent that she
wasn't the same person: she'd joined the fashionista cult. Resistance,
it very much seemed, was futile. She spent hours on her hair and
makeup. Her clothes, while spiffy for New York, didn't fit in at all in
Chicago and she looked somewhat ridiculous. But she was oblivious: she
was fabulous now and that's all that mattered, yet I couldn't help but
wonder how long the changes would stick once the cameras were gone.
With Trinny and Susannah, you get the feeling they've shown their
subjects a whole new side of themselves and that the changes will
stick. With Clinton and Stacy, well, the subjects have been shamed into
changing their ways and may rebel once the cameras are gone.
Ultimately, it's the difference between persuasion and coercion, and
how one is much more effective than the other. Stacy and Clinton
coerce. Trinny and Susannah persuade. I know who I'd rather have tell
me I dress like a slob. And it's not Stacy and Clinton. It's more than
likely, I'd wind up bitchslapping that snotty little brunette. UPDATE: 09/01/2004 Fausta makes a good point in the comments section
about overhaulee selection. I would have to agree with her about how
the UK version generally chooses people who are a bit stronger. Yet,
strangely enough, they all wind up coming over to the Good Side of the
Force in the end. Hmmmmm. Could it be persuasion, rather than making someone feel bad about themselves?

Posted by: Kathy at 02:51 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I'm very happy to announce

I'm very happy to announce that Miss Apropos aka Emma aka Margi Lowry has recently decided to come back to blogging! Yay. I have re-added her to the blogroll.

I've also added some other tasty comestibles to said blogroll. Check 'em out when you get the chance.

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What Some Might See When

What Some Might See When They Watch The Weather Channel. (click for supah-size)

Posted by: Kathy at 02:27 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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...Roy Horn's living in looney

...Roy Horn's living in looney land.

Speaking to German broadcaster RTL, German-born Roy Horn said the
tiger, called "Montecore," was trying to stop him from falling over on
stage after he suffered a dizzy spell. "It was an accident. Montecore
understood the signals and wanted to save me," the illusionist-animal
trainer said, adding: "It was unfortunate that his teeth hit my carotid artery."

{my emphasis}

It was unfortunate
that a friggin' tiger's teeth happened to connect with his cartoid
artery. The tiger's really friendly, really. He was just trying to save Roy rather than to use him as an appetizer. Uh-huh. {insert nodding of head here}

Posted by: Kathy at 02:11 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Well, that sucks. Winter just

Well, that sucks.

Winter just got longer.

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So, I'm having a few

So, I'm having a few dilemmas with this whole thing.
Shall I list them out?
Sure, we've got time to kill. Why the hell not?
Okeydokeysmoky.
1. As predicted, the husband, indeed, is thrilled. Which is making me
somewhat uncomfortable. Now, I shouldn't be uncomfortable with this. I
know. It's my husband. He's seen them before. It's just that he's so proud
that I would be doing this that I'm afraid his pride will cause him to
lose all sense of perspective and, subsequently, he will share the link
with all his gaming geek friends, pointing out exactly which set of
anonymous boobs are his wife's. {SHUDDER!} 2. Mr.H. had a good laugh
the other night about this whole thing. I assume he was mocking me. 3.
I have yet to suss out how I'm going to, erm, showcase my wares. And there will be showcasing.
This ain't gonna be some bare bones flea market, or a stand on the
street. This will be, instead, Neiman-Marcus. I just haven't a clue as
to how to achieve that ambitious goal. 4. The temptation to buy this t-shirt
for the showcasing is overwhelming. (Yes, kids. The thought that's
running through your mind is correct. Sigh.) And to use it in this
endeavor is even more tempting. Because it would be funny, particularly
given the message printed across said t-shirt. Let's face it, most
women in the blogosphere really dig Jeff's
brain. Yet, to use that particular t-shirt goes a little bit too far
toward crossing that internet stalker line we all try so hard to avoid
when it comes to Jeff. Then there's the question of favoritism. Rich gave me a "Blogs Across America" t-shirt when he visited. I don't think he'd appreciate it if I chose Goldstein over him.

On the whole, this might be more of a pain than I'd anticipated.

UPDATE: 09/01/2004 The temptation passed. This is a good thing.

UPDATE 2: Well, I'll be damned. Phoenix finally commented!

Posted by: Kathy at 01:57 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Courtesy of The Llamabutchers, changes

Courtesy of The Llamabutchers, changes are underway in London's public transport department:

LONDON, England (Reuters) -- Lumbering through the narrow
streets of London, the capital's red double-decker buses are as much
part of the cityscape as Big Ben and Buckingham Palace.
But 50 years after their debut, the much-loved Routemaster buses, with
their conductors, hop-on, hop-off platforms and pull-cord bells, are
being removed from the streets, condemned as expensive antiques.
These are the classics of the double-decker genre -- not the first, nor
the latest, but by far the most popular among passengers.
Yet by the end of 2005, the buses, most of which have travelled
continents with the amount of miles they have racked up, will disappear
from the city's streets
{...}Created in 1947 to replace World War Two-era trolleybuses, the
snub-nosed, light-bodied Routemasters were hailed as revolutionary in
meeting the challenges of negotiating London's crowded, winding
streets.
Between 1956 and 1968, a total of 2,760 Routemasters were put into
service, with expectations they would last no more than 17 years.
Five decades later, about 300 are still on the road. Twice as many were
in service last year, before the city began its campaign of forced
retirement.
"They've been fabulous, but this is the 21st century, and the city
needs a 21st century transportation system," said Graham Goodwin, a
spokesman for Transport for London (TfL), the agency in charge of the
city's bus system.
Goodwin said the Routemaster was being scrapped because of its 10 to 15
percent higher operational costs and lack of accessibility to disabled
passengers.
As a replacement, the city has commissioned a greater number of bigger,
boxy double deckers with wheelchair access and, more notably, a fleet
of so-called "bendy buses" - single-deck articulated buses that can
carry up to 140 passengers.
Neither model has been without its well-publicised problems.
The bendy buses were temporarily banned earlier this year after four
caught fire in a four-month period.
And one newspaper described travel on the newer generation of double
deckers with their bright fluorescent lights and grey-flecked interiors
as having as much charm as sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool.
More irritating to harried commuters is the length of time it takes to
load passengers past the driver, who must check all fares, unlike
Routemasters where conductors speed the process along.

Man, it's been a disappointing Thursday. First Miss Apropos. Now the double-decker buses.

Sigh.

London traffic is going to be even more of a nightmare than it already is.

Ergh.

I'll stick with the tube, thank you ever so very much.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:56 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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A Rare 1961 IBM 72

A Rare 1961 IBM 72 Selectric. Great For Forging Documents!

This auction is for a vintage IBM Selectric 72 typewriter.
This is one of the early Selectrics produced in the early 1960s, a
Model 7X. Now you can create those forged documents right the very
first time. We will ship at no charge for Buy It Now buyers.
Yes, this is the one CBS should have used to forge there documents. So
to give your forged documents that original look use the original
equipment. All you need is some old typing paper to give your forged
documents that unique original professional look!

What's even better is that the auction is only at $199 as of right now. Muy Cheapo.
I mean, come on. If CBS can afford to pay that blowhard Rather's
salary, not to mention what they're going to have to outlay on the
slander suit Bush will stick on them, this is a bargain at twice the
price. It seems like a small price to pay to---ahem---get it right.

(h/t Enlightened Cynic}

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