But instead, they committed Smurf genocide.

Putting aside the very unsmurfy genocide for a brief moment, you just know Gargamel is just pissed off right now. UNICEF---freakin' UNICEF---succeeded where he's failed too many times to count. He's probably drunk in his cottage right now, and is trying to come up with fun and interesting ways of torturing the cat.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:17 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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1 Can I just say this REALLY pisses me off? Where does UNICEF get off, huh? They murder and maim a beloved icon from my childhood, and this is supposed to get me to want to donate? Screw that! That is so freakin' unlikely now, I can't even begin to express it. What's next? Strawberry Shortcake and Huckleberry Finn become landmine victims on their way to Porcupine Peak? Barbie gets gang-raped in her Malibu beach house? Or perhaps, the Bratz girls will get sold as sex slaves to unsavory UN peacekeepers. This is disgusting. It is desperate, reaching, and wholly without merit. I find the entire thing reprehensible. Blech! What some people won't do to get attention.

Posted by: Phoenix at October 12, 2005 11:06 AM (4N2f4)

2 And you're worried that villains vanquished has become pussified????? have no fear, m'dear.

Posted by: Kathy at October 12, 2005 11:15 AM (boYqP)

3 Curiously, that's not the first time we've seen Smurfette at less than her best.

Posted by: MRN aka "The Husband" at October 12, 2005 09:45 PM (boYqP)

4 Glenn Beck had the same thoughts as you and did another blurb on the smurfs. I don't know if it is on his website or not. VERY funny. Christi

Posted by: Christi at October 12, 2005 10:11 PM (h6L+r)

5 Uh gee....not to put too fine a point on it....but did some of you folks MISS the entire intent of the UNICEF use of Smurfs? The campaign is DESIGNED to get YOU to REACT to the problem of war and specifically, CHILDREN in war. Yes, the images of our beloved Smurfs being subjected to so cruel a fate DOES upset us, and rightly so. Perhaps if YOU can now SEE the same fate happening to so many REAL children, you might be induced to: 1.) Question the "neccessity excuses" to go to war. 2.) Question the leadership ability of those who continually tell us we must sacrifice the lives of our children, and the children of others, so we can "maintain our way of life". 3.) Understand that we are ALL children of someone, and that none of us are "disposable". If the campaign can accomplish that...then maybe it has accomplished its goal.

Posted by: L2T at October 13, 2005 09:35 AM (aBJmJ)

6 And all that preaching from a person with the email address, "love2torture@yahoo.com"? One must really love the age of post-modernism if for no other reason than that it really does produce some first class absurdism.

Posted by: Kathy at October 13, 2005 09:59 AM (boYqP)

7 love2torture? Torture what, puppies? His own nipples? Hell, this campaign doesn't work primarily because most sane people get a chuckle out of seeing the damn blue menaces in a most un-smurfy predicament. ;p

Posted by: MRN aka "The Husband" at October 13, 2005 11:00 PM (boYqP)

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Yep. It's a day later and I still feel like I'm high.

I miss my nicotine.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:51 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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...as in, Murphy's Law seemed to rule over Robbo's Saturday with the Llama-ettes.

Go read and be enlightened about everything that could possibly go wrong when visiting the mall on a rainy Saturday afternoon.

Posted by: Kathy at 09:26 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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...to come up with yet another lame dancing metaphor designed to make you people want to click over to The Cotillion. So, since there are no metaphors to be found, just click on over, eh?

Oh, and there's some contest going on that has something to do with testosterone or something like that. But honestly I haven't had enough coffee yet, so I don't know what that's all about, yet it's looking like we just surrendered ourselves to Arthur {insert dramatic pause here} KING of the Britons, instead of being the autonomous collective we all thought we were.

Sigh.

Posted by: Kathy at 09:12 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I feel like my brain is a balloon. It's currently floating about five feet above my head and, lucky for me, is tethered to my spinal column by a string.

Today is the first day in over ten years that I've gone without any nicotine in my system.

And I feel like an idiot.

Yes, you are remembering correctly: I was on the patch. I gradually stepped down from 21mg of nicotine---the equivalent of a pack of twenty cigarettes---to 14mg four weeks ago, and then to 7mg two weeks ago. Yesterday endeth the eight weeketh patcheth plan. Today is my first day without ANY nicotine and, to repeat, I feel like a fucking idiot. The neurons aren't firing well. The synapses are acting like a lazy bike messenger who's claiming to have a pulled hamstring. And I'm tired. I just went around the lake and I'm pooped. I shouldn't be this tired. Everything's fuzzy and muzzy and any other words that have two "z's" in the middle.

Methinks this quitting smoking thing is more of a pain than what it's worth.

Ah, well, it's not like I'm in any state to ponder deeply on that, so I'm going to go and have a nap.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:58 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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As in this is guaranteed to do three things.

1. It is guaranteed to make the husband laugh long and hard
2. It is guaranteed to make his sister blow a freakin' gasket because she's a die hard creationist.
3. It is guaranteed to make sure much amusement is had by me while watching the two of them slug it out. (No pun intended, but am appreciating the one that sprung up there, thankyouverymuch.)

{One HUGE tip of the hat to Sheila)

Posted by: Kathy at 10:01 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Just for you my lovelies, here's an interesting article on how to get around 0870 numbers.

Enjoy, and don't say I never did anything for you.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:07 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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1 Just typical.. I read this after I've stuck the phone down and spent 10 minutes on hold )

Posted by: Nugget at October 10, 2005 08:47 AM (U9kHN)

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Oh, wait...the mean woman is my mommy. Never mind.

She sent me these earlier, with the attached message: "Couldn't help exchanging views." The Cake Eater Parents are currently on vacation in Ft. Walton Beach, Florida. This is, indeed, the perfect time of year to visit: it's still warm enough to get some serious beach time in, but the beaches are pretty free of people, which is nice.

{Insert much grumbling that, undoubtedly, violates the Fourth Commandment here}

Posted by: Kathy at 10:30 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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So, I've been schlepping the digital camera over to the lake when I go walking. The purpose behind this being to capture the change of the season. The husband and I had this idea years ago, and we finally decided to actually do it this year. Fortunately the camera is light, but effective. Today, I took some extra shots because I liked the light. So, this is the Minneapolis skyline from the southeast shore of Lake Harriet.

Clicket on the image to super-size.

This is what I get to gaze upon every day when I go walking. Eat your hearts out.

You'll see the rest of the pictures when all the leaves are down. Which shouldn't be too long from now because it frosted last night.

Posted by: Kathy at 05:48 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Way back in the day, I always got the impression that Louis Freeh hated Bubba Clinton, but that he was saving his discontent---and the juicy anecdotes that went with it---for his memoir.

Turns out I was right.

{...} In another revelation, Freeh says the former president let down the American people and the families of victims of the Khobar Towers terror attack in Saudi Arabia. After promising to bring to justice those responsible for the bombing that killed 19 and injured hundreds, Freeh says Clinton refused to personally ask Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah to allow the FBI to question bombing suspects the kingdom had in custody – the only way the bureau could secure the interviews, according to Freeh. Freeh writes in the book, “Bill Clinton raised the subject only to tell the crown prince that he understood the Saudis’ reluctance to cooperate and then he hit Abdullah up for a contribution to the Clinton Presidential Library.” Says Freeh, “That’s a fact that I am reporting.” {...}

The fun just never ends with Bubba, does it?

/sarcasm

{hat tip: LMC}

Posted by: Kathy at 09:38 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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For every conservative who is whining about how "betrayed" they feel that GDub "ignored the base" by nominating Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court, please know that there is a moderate conservative who is smiling wryly and is saying, "welcome to the party, pal."

Yes, they wanted your vote. Do you really think that means anything to those people? Why are you living under the delusion that you mean something to them? Do you honestly believe that they actually care about what you think and want out of your chosen representatives in Washington? When are you people going to learn that---ahem---they don't care?

In other words, join in the disillusionment, my children. And do it soon, would you? All of this caterwauling is getting extremely tiresome.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:18 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Yes, please.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:09 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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No, your calendar did not lie to you: it is Thursday. Hence it's time for the Demystifying Divas and the Marvelous Men's Club to answer all your very important questions. Today's question came to us from The Flirt Blog and it goes something like this: how do you tell if someone is single?

Hmmmm. That should be an easy one to answer, shouldn't it? Just look at the left hand of the object of your affection, if there is no ring there, rejoice, but you should nonetheless proceed with caution: they still might be attached. Buy them a drink, ask them some questions, get chummy and then ask them if they're attached. If they aren't, well, isn't life good for you, my child? If they are, well, you've just made yourself a new platonic friend. Conversely, if they came up to you and started hitting on you, well, you could make the reasonable assumption that they're single, and they would like to know if you are, too. You might want to put them out of their misery if the situation calls for it, just to be nice.

But that would be me. Other people might want to be sneakier less obvious about it. And in that case, gosh, I really don't know what to tell you other than to put on your deerstalker hat, load up a pipe and play Sherlock Holmes.

Sherlock, in case you've been living under a rock for a good long time, was a master of observation and deduction. He would observe; he would then make a logical deduction based on what he had observed and the knowledge gained over a lifetime. Pretty simple stuff, no? All right, I shall describe an individual; you tell me if they are single or attached. You will find the answers below the fold.

A man is at a party at a house in an uber-hip section of the Hollywood Hills. He is about six-foot-one and has a lankiness to him that screams "athleticism." His hair is dark; his eyes are brown; his body is buff; he wears no jewelry other than a watch. His facial hair is trimmed, as is his hair. He's drinking a cosmopolitan and his eyes are wandering around the room, looking for someone interesting. Is this man single? you wonder. You double check his left hand. You don't see a ring. You move in for the kill.

Have you met your match?

For our second example we have:

A middle-aged man is at a retro cocktail bar. A neon sign made in the shape of a martini glass hangs from the opposite wall, and the olive in the bottom of the glass winks at you in a shade of green reminiscent of a half-dead Christmas tree. There are few tables, a large bar and plenty of booths, designed for getting closer, and he is sitting in one. You notice that he is the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. You can tell he is comfortable in his own skin because he takes his time taking the situation in. He drinks a vodka tonic, and has made sure the lime has been disposed of properly, as well as the straw. He ensures his drink does not drip condensation onto his silk tie by fastidiously blanketing the base of the glass with his napkin. His suit is well tailored, but not flashy, and it covers any sins of middle-aged flesh rather well. His jewelry is limited to a tie bar and a watch. A freshly cracked pack of Marlboro Lights sits on the table, the cellophane wrapper lying uselessly in the ashtray, and he smokes one casually, blowing the smoke out at a leisurely pace. His eyes roam about the room, looking for something. They land on you and he smiles at you. You smile back while you surrpetitiously gaze at his left hand again. No ring. You move in.

Have you met your match?

And what have you deduced from these two examples, my devoted Cake Eater Readers? Anything good? Anything worth your time? I shall leave it to you to take the jump to see if you were correct in your deductions, but, even if you weren't successful this time around, it's quite simple to become successful at this sort of thing in the future. All you need do is observe a person to see who they are because all the clues are laid out right before you. You just need to learn how to piece them together to give yourself the whole picture. The key is simply taking the time to observe.

So, enough bullshit from moi, it's time to see what the other demystifying divas have to say on the matter. As always, for the testosterone-y take, you can visit Phin, Nugget, Stiggy, Jamesy and the Naked Villains.

Due to a effort to show up the rest of us scheduling snafu , Sadie and Pammy have written their essays on next week's topic. So you can shuffle along, read their essays and get excited for next week's episode of As The Divas Turn. more...

Posted by: Kathy at 12:53 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 Ooh. I'm confused now. As usual, you write BRILLIANTLY, but I thought I was to write on this next week. *coughs* I know the baby is eating my brain but. . .

Posted by: Margi at October 06, 2005 10:05 AM (nwEQH)

2 Margi, the baby isn't eating your brain! There was a mixup. I don't know how we're going to sort it out, but we'll figure something out.

Posted by: Kathy at October 06, 2005 10:42 AM (boYqP)

3 Thanks, honey. But yeah, he is eating my brain. Trust me on this one. P.S. I got both guys right. Yay, me! )

Posted by: Margi at October 06, 2005 10:54 AM (nwEQH)

4 It's a good thing I'm six-foot-three other wise folks might think I'm gay. Good thing it isn't the Cosmos, they're delightfully scrumcious.

Posted by: phin at October 06, 2005 03:57 PM (Xvpen)

5 Like Margi, I'm confused. Unlike Margi, it's my usual state of being. heh

Posted by: Pammy at October 06, 2005 07:49 PM (sqf+Z)

6 Ha! I was right on them both! Not that it does me much good. I'm not single. And even when I was I was terrible at flirting and hated parties and bars.

Posted by: Doug at October 06, 2005 07:53 PM (7P5xE)

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They're breeding.

I know I'm late to the game on this one, but...yeech.

This is just another ploy to prove what a manly man Tommy Boy is. He would like everyone to know that he is Virile Man! {insert appropriate superhero theme music here} Successfully spreading seed in rocky territory since 1984, but I'm not buying it. I think two words can---and will, when Katie has her moment in the Baba Wabba spotlight---refute this image...

artificial insemination.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:38 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Get your fat ass off the chair and start cleaning the house.

UPDATE You know your motivation level is at rock bottom when you feel the need to blog about how much you don't feel like cleaning.

It's incredibly sad, no? Next thing you know, Dearest Jonathan will be bugging me about how this, indeed, is an indicator of just how dumb blogs can be.

And he'll say "heh" when he does it, too.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:40 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I'm so proud I'm actually all verklempt.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:37 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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It was 88 degrees and very muggy on Monday.

Of course we turned the AC on, not being the kind of people who enjoy sweating for the heck of it.

Yesterday---Tuesday---it started raining. We had several typhoon strength thunderstorms last night, and it's kept on through this morning. But, fortunately, it was still warm when I woke up this morning. As in it was sixty-eight degrees. Which is nice for this time of the year. It was also still raining.

But the rain has stopped for the time being. The wind has picked up. And the temperature is dropping: it's currently fifty-seven.

Now my little weather bar on my browser is telling me that the low for today will be thirty-six degrees with a chance of a snow or rain shower later on this evening.

Only in the midwest can you go from using the AC to using the furnace within a span of forty-eight hours!

My mother, who is currently on her yearly Florida jaunt with my father, is undoubtedly laughing her head off as she reads this.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:28 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Quite literally.

I can't decide if these are actually a good idea or if they're just a waste of money.

Really and truly. I can't make up my mind.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:32 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I have to deep clean the Cake Eater Pad tomorrow.

The reason for this deep cleaning?

My in-laws are coming to town tomorrow. From Phoenix. Via plane.

And we had, approximately, twenty-two hours' warning of their visit.

To elucidate: the in-laws were supposed to visit us last week. They had their plane tickets and their hotel reservations were made. They were set to go. That is, until the father-in-law was laid-off from his job. Then the in-laws decided that spending money on a vacation probably wasn't the wisest thing to do whilst there was a limited source of income available. So, after cancelling the reservations, the father-in-law looked for a new job and he was hired yesterday. It's a job he will excel at; it has a lovely compensation package; and it means they will be moving to the outskirts of Nogales, Arizona because the father-in-law will be driving over the border every day to go to work. You'd think they have plenty on their plates right now, wouldn't you? Getting ready to sell their house; finding a place for the father-in-law to live in the meantime; looking for new furniture to replace the hideous orange and brown sofa and chairs they have in their living room, etc. Apparently not. The mother-in-law, never being one to let grass grow under her feet when a chance to see her grandbabies is in the offing, suggested to her husband this morning that since he doesn't start work until the 17th, they could still get their vacation in.

They didn't call to ask if it was a good time for a visit, either.

Yeah. I know. Let's not go there.

This should serve as a warning that blogging will probably be light over the next couple of days as I have an apartment to mother-in-law-ize and other domestic duties to attend to.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:11 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I think Don Cheadle should be added to this list, and Emily Watson and Emma Thompson should be added to this one.

But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:09 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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