Yeah. I updated the blogroll. Verily, sayeth the Lord, goeth and peruseth.

A brief note about the Cake Eater Blogroll Policy because, invariably, I get a few emails every time I update the stupid thing:

I blogroll blogs I actually, you know, read. If you've made it on there, congratulations! I'm a finicky reader and you passed the test. You should be pleased you have earned the respect and admiration of the Cake Eater. Go treat yourself to an adult beverage and fantasize that I'm at the bar with you. It'll be fun, I promise. I'll wear something low cut just for you. But, no, I won't buy you any shots because shots are eeeeevil and I don't want you puking on my (imaginary) Manolos.

If you didn't make the blogroll {Insert massive, exhausted sigh here} please don't whine and complain about it. Have some pride, for fuck's sake. Don't send me an email asking me to please include your blog on my blogroll. Don't send me an email reminding me that you've linked me so I should return the favor. None of this is going to cut ice with me. Life sucks. Get a helmet.

Why do I have this policy? Because when I make a blogroll, I want to know that it's because someone likes what I've written, not because they thought they needed to emulate Emily Post with the blogosphere etiquette. It's pretty simple.

Don't you want that, too?

Sorry if this is overly snarky, but the expansion this time around was looooong overdue, hence it's jumped a bit in size. I'm just trying to avoid the inevitable if it's at all possible.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:22 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 "Because when I make a blogroll, I want to know that it's because someone likes what I've written, not because they thought they needed to emulate Emily Post with the blogosphere etiquette." Exactly the way I see it. Thanks for the linky.

Posted by: Pammy at March 28, 2005 10:48 AM (Ew78u)

2 Thanks much for the link!

Posted by: red at March 28, 2005 12:08 PM (qxKkx)

3 I may have to steal that because I never know what to say when I get an email asking for a link. Part of that, I think, is that I'd die of embarrassment if I ever asked someone to link me, and part of it I don't want to hurt someone's feelings. So my nonconfrontational recourse is usually to just ignore the email. I'm such a wimp!

Posted by: Ith at March 28, 2005 01:05 PM (YS7HR)

4 Sure am glad I made the list, that way I don't have whine and complain about it. I can save what little pride I have left when I decide to beg for something else.

Posted by: phin at March 28, 2005 04:48 PM (DGPlf)

5 We're honored. You do great stuff here. I hope to have the chance to meet you at the next blogger bash.

Posted by: Sandy at March 28, 2005 04:58 PM (S01DI)

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Oy.

I ate dinner almost six hours ago and I'm still full.

We had:

Ham (duh). After sticking about a thousand cloves into it, I glazed it with a gooey mixture of brown sugar, dried mustard and vinegar (if you can't figure out what the vinegar is for, just think sweet and sour and you'll get the drift)
• Pecan topped sweet potatoes. (This actually has a nice brown sugar/butter/flour crumbly topping. Mmmmmm)
• Biscuits. If I used Bisquik do they count as homemade?
• Asparagus. And the husband used his skills to whip up some fresh Hollandaise for it. MMMMMMMMMMMM

ML and The Doctor joined us for dinner and they brought cookies for dessert. I'm stuffed.

Still.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:33 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Have I told y'all that the husband has been "contracted" by one of his friends to play the damn game for money?

{Insert sound of Kathy slamming her head on her desk here}

Here's the deal: this gamer friend of the husband's is busy playing another game right now and he doesn't want to take the time and effort to bring his WoW character up to a certain level. He'd rather play the other game, yet he wants to be able to play WoW every once in a while at this one specific level. So he's contracted the husband to do this for him.

For a fee.

Every time the husband now logs in to the game, he cheekily says, "I'm going to work."

{Insert sound of Kathy slamming her head on her desk here. AGAIN}

Posted by: Kathy at 12:37 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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(Click for larger)

While I agree with Jade about the hideous habit that is scrapbooking (Right on, Sistah!), I think she can still find a better way to spend her time than playing World of Warcraft.

If you're unfamiliar with this cartoon, this is PVP-Online, which is written by the very clever and very funny Scott Kurtz.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:17 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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To the east side...to a deluxe apartment in the sky-iiiii

Ok, now that you've got that stuck in your heads, join me in congratulating Doug of Bogus Gold for getting the hell off bugsplat Blogspot.

I hope you're happy in your new home, Doug. You will adore not being held hostage by Blogger's burps, belches and farts.

But you still owe me an essay, dude. {taps fingers impatiently on laptop} Don't think I've forgotten.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:44 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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So, was that an awesome last four minutes in regular play, or what?

And thank God for it, otherwise my brackets would have been a complete and utter failure had Illinois not pulled it together.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:58 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Why do athiests (people who believe there is no God) and agnostics (people who don't believe in organized religion) always feel the need to go round and round about religious matters? If they don't believe in God, or organized religion, why are these people so bloody interested in matters of faith? Could someone explain this one to me, because I'm not getting it.

I ask this knowing full well I'm going to get an earful from the husband---The resident Cake Eater agnostic---later on.

Over the years I've noticed that some athiests and agnostics---the husband included---are as pious in their disbelief as are the most faithful members of any religion. They choose to prostelytize about reason and logic instead of a God. What I would like to know is why do these athiests and agnostics keep harping on about religion and God when they don't believe in any of it? Why does it interest them so? Because, I have to tell you, it smacks of overcompensation, like they have to continually justify their decision not to believe in God.

I have faith. I fully realize that some people don't. That's fine with me. I may be Catholic, but I don't follow the Church line on this one, meaning I don't think people who don't believe are automatically going to hell because the Church said so. Faith, or the lack thereof, is an individual thing. The way I see it, you've got to square all of this for yourself. That's no easy thing, hence I don't judge. I find it sad that some people don't believe, and I do worry about the husband's soul, but I have faith in God to sort it out in the end. I don't have an issue with athiests defending their reasoning, either. If someone attacks you, stick up for yourself, because you're likely to learn something about yourself in the process. I've learned a whole lot about the concept of faith in defending mine from the husband's rhetorical attacks. That's not entirely a bad thing. But for the general discussions on faith, would you athiests and agnostics please---and I ask this as politely as I can---butt the fuck out? It's none of your business anymore. You've declared you don't believe in any of it, yet, for some strange reason, you want a place in the discussion? Well, no. You don't get one.

In case you're wondering, this is the post ---by the usually Uber-sensible Dean Esmay---that set me off.

{hat tip: Robbo}

UPDATE: Dean has some more things to say. That make a great deal of sense.

Posted by: Kathy at 03:24 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 As an athiest, I am not sure if I should post a comment here because on one hand you are aking a question of athiests (assuming it is not rhetorical), and on the other you have told us to "Butt the fuck out" (no help with interpretation needed here!). Oh well, I'll give it a shot anyway. I cannot answer for others, but I can tell you that as an athiest I always feel that the people who know me are trying to change my mind. I find this insulting, especially when it is done with an air of superiority and with the premise that I am just misguided and they are obviously right. I guess that I have studied the bible and religion as a defense mechanism. It is very effective too because in a discussion of facts, I can now back every theist I know into "Well, I'll just pray for you". Lots of inconsistencies in the bible to work with. I also join discussion groups with other athiests because I enjoy the discussion about philosophical questions you must address if you say there is not a god (meaning of life type stuff). What I don't enjoy is the thiest bashing that always seems to creep into the dicsussion. Just a few thoughts, sorry if they are not welcome here.

Posted by: Spurius Furius at March 26, 2005 07:41 PM (Kp8o9)

2 I'm an atheist, but I don't preselytize and I don't lecture about atheism or the evils of religion. What I do, however, is hold open dialogue with people of faith. I am open-minded and willing to listen--and also inhesitant to point out when those in some faiths attacks the faith of others. As for why do it: first and foremost, because more than 90% of the population professes some religious faith. We are involved in a war which directly involves religious faith. It would thus seem that such discussions should be had, wouldn't you?

Posted by: Dean Esmay at March 26, 2005 10:26 PM (ciwrC)

3 Spurius: But I asked you to butt the fuck out politely. Doesn't that count for something? Of course your thoughts are welcome here. I'm the one to blame if I gave off mixed messages. I had a hard time writing this post and I undoubtedly screwed a few things up in the meantime. I apologize. Thank you for taking the time to answer. I appreciate it. Dean: Thanks for stopping by. I take your points, yet I read your post as one big long educational message to us Christians about what Jews really think of us and you, the athiest, chose to act as the neutral mediator between religions. I didn't take it in reference to the war, and although your points about 9/11 were valid, forgive me if I missed that they were the central tenet of your post. It just didn't come across that way, and that's why I reacted the way I did.

Posted by: Kathy at March 26, 2005 10:53 PM (Tosbv)

4 I actually thought Dean's post was interesting, but did have a couple of unintended flaws. Perhaps the most obvious is one of unintended consequence. Suggesting that Jews are hiding secrets from Christians and secretly loathe them is probably not a message Dean's Jewish friends would consider helpful. Then again, a point Dean doesn't seem to appreciate, is that Christians aren't terribly bent out of shape when learning non-Christians disagree with them about the meaning of things in the Bible. That stuff is far more heated when Christians disagree with other Christians.

Posted by: Doug at March 27, 2005 09:37 AM (7P5xE)

5 I generally enjoyed Dean's post, but I had another thought about it: he states that in 9/11 many Jews were concerned that "Americans would blame them" for what happened. Some Americans did blame them: but for the most part, they weren't Christians: they were people on the Left who are at odds with any sort of faith. Seemed to undermine his point....

Posted by: Pious Agnostic at March 27, 2005 10:26 AM (5sURJ)

6 Yanking the tiger's tail again, love? "If they don't believe in God, or organized religion, why are these people so bloody interested in matters of faith? Could someone explain this one to me, because I'm not getting it." Once again (we've had this discussion before, dear readers), you are presuming that my disdain of organized religion precludes me from having ANY faith whatsoever. My faith - and this is the basic premise of being an agnostic for me - has nothing to do with the Catholics, the Jewish People, Islam or the Presbyterians. My faith, or spirituality, is as important to me as yours is to you. Am I not allowed to participate in the discussion? Apparently not, because once again you presume that the word "faith" can ONLY be used to refer to faith in Jesus Christ as proscribed by Mother Church. To you and the entirety of the Catholic Church: get over yourselves. You have no lock on use of the word "faith". Faith describes confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing. The person, idea or thing in question here is whether or not there is something greater than ourselves. "...are as pious in their disbelief as are the most faithful members of any religion. They choose to prostelytize about reason and logic instead of a God." Once again, you seem to misunderstand the concept that agnostics can believe in a god that is not by your definition "the" God. Atheists may argue logically and reasonably against the concept of god, but agnostics will argue that reason and logic have led us to the conclusion that God is not an old man with a white beard who lives in the clouds and will only love us if we do what the men in the funny hats protecting the pedophiles tell us to do. "What I would like to know is why do these athiests and agnostics keep harping on about religion and God when they don't believe in any of it? Why does it interest them so? Because, I have to tell you, it smacks of overcompensation, like they have to continually justify their decision not to believe in God." Two things here: 1. Why? Because we're CONSTANTLY BEING PUT IN THE POSITION TO DEFEND OURSELVES IF WE DON'T HAPPEN TO KOW-TOW TO WHATEVER NONSENSE IS BEING SPOUTED "IN THE NAME OF JESUS" THIS WEEK! If we, as people who don't fall in line, weren't constantly attacked as being "part of the problem", you wouldn't hear a peep out of us. Frankly, we believe those of you who are still worshiping the invisible on the words of the village holy man aren't ready for the discussion. 2. "..don't believe in any of it" For crying out loud! Third time I'm going to tell you in this piece - just because we don't belive YOUR version of it, does not mean we don't believe that there is something in the universe greater than ourselves. Our spiritual fulfillment is just as important to us as yours is to you, but we don't need the paid intermediary to get there. If you're going to open this can of worms again, you had better learn to slow down when you make these posts, and realise that of the world population of over six billion, the Catholics are, even in the developed world, a minority. Stop arguing from the assumption that there is only "one true faith", because you see evidence every day that that is not the case. We, those whose minds are not clouded by the promises of people claiming to speak for god, are here waiting for YOU to see the light. There is more to your spirituality than some friggin priest who doesn't think you can possibly be his equal because you don't have a dick can give you. Find it for yourself.

Posted by: MRN aka "The Husband" at March 27, 2005 10:36 AM (Tosbv)

7 Heh. Do you see, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, what it's like being married to the husband? Usually we have this discussion from midnight to three a.m., so it's rather nice to have some daylight shone on the discussion. Oh, I do love him so. (And, yes, I really do mean that.) I have very few problems with your argument, my dear. The fact that you conveniently skipped over the portion where I said it was all right to defend yourself, and yet blasted me anyway for it is the least of them. The only serious problem I have with your argument is this: Frankly, we believe those of you who are still worshiping the invisible on the words of the village holy man aren't ready for the discussion. So, if we're not worthy of taking part in the discussion, why do you bother gracing us with your presence in discussions about religions? Hmmmm? If you're really so above and beyond it, why do you bother? If, for you, it's really comparable to a person with a PhD in microbiology taking part in a third-grade science class discussion on tadpoles, why do you waste your time with it? Isn't it beneath you?

Posted by: Kathy at March 27, 2005 11:27 AM (Tosbv)

8 Because, and this goes to your original question of why we make any noise at all, if we don't speak up for those who have differing beliefs, who will? Case in point (to finally acknowledge the elephant in the corner we've been ignoring): the Terry Schiavo case. Is this a question of religion? or is a question of the law? I already know you believe it to be a question of law. As such, it has been adjudicated many times over by many different courts even going so far as to have the rules bent repeatedly so that it can be heard again and again. The decision, every time, has been clear. Yet there is vociferous dissent from a specific faction that has made political hay and much news by keeping this issue alive. It is the christian right that is forcing this issue to the front and in the process attempting to force their singular viewpoint of an acceptable outcome upon us all. Please don't get onto the discussion of that case, it was only an example to show that if there is no voiced dissent to the very loud christian right, the system would become unbalanced. We speak up because if we don't we lose our right to. Second point: be careful - very careful - of commenting on what another blogger does or does not have a "right" to post about. I've got a nice bucket of smooth river stones you can consider as you stand in your glass blogger house. Love you, babe. Happy Easter. Did you get the sweet potatoes in the oven yet?

Posted by: MRN aka "The Husband" at March 27, 2005 11:44 AM (Tosbv)

9 The sweet potatoes are in the oven.

Posted by: Kathy at March 27, 2005 11:55 AM (Tosbv)

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So the next victim interviewee up to bat is Random Pensees, a fellow resident of the moo knew domain and an all-around good guy. He also has the distinct honor of being my very first commenter when I moved over to moo knew. It was a very wonderful welcome that he posted and one that made me feel as if I had made the right move, the scariness of movable type notwithstanding.

Not like that's going to make me go easy on him, though.

Since RP is an exceedingly busy guy, I've told him he has some leeway on when he can post his answers on his own blog. I will update when he posts them, so keep checking back. He will need to include the rules in his post, so he can have the ultimate fulfillment that is payback by grilling a few of his own victims.

1. You're a corporate litigator. The lawyers I used to work with would occasionally become tired of cleaning up other people's messes---and would whine about it. If you could, what would you say to a particularly idiotic client if you didn't have to fear the loss of their billable hours?

2. You live and work in the NYC metropolitan area. For those of us who have never been, explain the pros and cons of living and working in that city.

3. If you could become a cat burglar, and were able to access (albeit illegally) any musuem in the world, knowing that a. what you're choosing to steal is for your personal pleasure and b. you wouldn't be caught, what piece of art would you choose to steal and why?

4. You're an anonymous blogger. Why did you choose to blog anonymously? Do you feel it gives you more leeway to write certain things than if you attached your name to your work? Do you ever feel the compulsion to fib to your readers, knowing full well that they'd have no idea if you were telling the truth or not?

5. Name your all-time favorite book. Why do you love it so?

Posted by: Kathy at 11:28 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Ah, Good ol' Rob.

If you don't know Rob---and God only knows why you wouldn't be familiar with Rob, because he's marvelous and you're a slacker if you're not reading him daily---he runs his blog from the vast wilderness that is Orlando, Florida, where he visits places like Gatorland. He then calls up Manolo Blahnik and tells him which gators are primed and ready to be worn on my feet. He's a pal that way. Anyway, so you all can become a wee bit more familiar with my buddy Rob, I'm going to ask him five questions and he will reply.

I'll link to his answers when he has them ready to go. He will need to include the rules to the Interview Game in his post, which he can cut and paste from my original post, so he can grill a few of his own commentors.

Are we all ready? Okedokey. And away we go.

1. Who would you want to be: John Wayne or Kurt Russell pretending to be John Wayne? Why?

2. Who would win in a mud wrestling match: Lizzie Bennet or Emma Woodhouse? Why?

3. Explain how one can title their blog "Pious Agnostic," and yet still post about going to church.

4. You're a gamer. Try and explain for the non-gaming junkies of the world what games you like to play and why you like to play them. What do you get out of this activity? And does your habit drive your wife and family nuts? Or have they drank the kool-aid, too?

5. What is the symbol for Fool's Gold? (He promised to brush up on his chemistry. I'm just seeing if he actually did.)

UPDATE: Rob has answered! Go and read!

Posted by: Kathy at 10:09 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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See? I knew y'all hadn't suddenly become well-adjusted human beings! You filled up the inbox and our beloved Silk has answered all of your very important questions.

A word to the (not so) wise: Sadie will don the omniscient hat next week. Have your questions into the divassez mailbox by next Thursday evening.

Posted by: Kathy at 09:25 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Zonker asked how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

Sadie answered.

Definitively.

UPDATE: Linky fixed.

Posted by: Kathy at 09:49 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 Oh yes, and I broke a nail in doing so. Where's Puffy and his manicure kit?

Posted by: sadie at March 24, 2005 12:49 PM (r8ofB)

2 You realise that the prestigious Men's Club could read that comment and question my membership?

Posted by: Puffy at March 24, 2005 03:32 PM (biIIl)

3 You're a freaking FISH, puffster. Stop bloody complaining so much, and hand over the nail file;-)

Posted by: sadie at March 24, 2005 04:22 PM (2xn/2)

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So, as related in this post, I now get to subject a few bloggers to a Richard Nixon-style grilling interview a few of my very own commenters/bloggers.

This will be fun.

The victims interviewees are:

• Rob the Pious Agnostic
• Random Pensees
• Phoenix of Villains Vanquished

and last but not least...

• houseguest extraordinaire, Rich, who is Seldom Sober

The schedule is as follows. Rob will be grilled on Friday. RP needs some time to get this done, so his questions will be posted on Saturday and we will hope he finds the time to get them done over the weekend, and if not, he can post whenever he gets over his jetlag. Phoenix is slated for Monday, and Rich's weekend hangover should have dissipated by Tuesday morning so he should be capable of answering questions by then.

In the meantime, I will be formulating questions in the basement using my junior chemistry set. You can find me there if you really need me.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:17 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Last night I'm whipping through Conde Nast Traveler again, and I come across an article titled: A Nonstop, Unapologetically High-Calorie Foodie's Tour de France. So, of course, being a foodie, I'm automatically obliged to read the damn thing. (Of course, it's not online yet, but you'll just have to take my word for it. You trust me, right? Ok. Good.)

The premise behind this article is that Traveler sent the author and a friend on a twenty-some-odd-day tour of France's finest restaurants at the same time the actual Tour was occurring last summer. "Nice work if you can get it," you're undoubtedly saying. I thought the same thing as I settled in to read. But I was very, very wrong. After I finished the article, I thought two weeks, being forced to eat slops in a Turkish prison would be a more pleasant and interesting experience.

If you're interested in how I came to this conclusion, read on after the jump. more...

Posted by: Kathy at 01:04 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 I'm with you. Gorging yourself on fine food misses the point. And misses it by a wide margin. On the other hand, I wouldn't turn down a chance to be a judge on American Iron Chef, and that comes awfully close to the "gorge" point. But at least it doesn't do so 20 days in a row.

Posted by: Doug at March 23, 2005 01:46 PM (2tOpJ)

2 Sounds like the gourmet version of "Supersize It".

Posted by: Ith at March 23, 2005 03:00 PM (wojEv)

3 Duh, that would be "Supersize Me" not "It".

Posted by: Ith at March 23, 2005 03:04 PM (wojEv)

4 "a small, deserted, gem of a brassiere" Fabulous But might you possibly have meant "brasserie"?

Posted by: Adrianne Truett at March 23, 2005 07:34 PM (sCxDi)

5 I had a comment about that SAME misspelling over at the butcher's shop, too. Changed to please you, m'dear. Obviously, I'm not even remotely fluent in French.

Posted by: Kathy at March 23, 2005 09:13 PM (Tosbv)

6 Actually, I enjoy French food, but, because of financial reasons, it's been regular-guy French food. (Yes, one can argue whether there are regular guys in France, but bear with me). Local delis carry a very nice array of prepared foods that are hot and ready to eat, and a lot of them are conveniently situated near subway stops. Small restaurants, owned by "grandma" serve a small number of guests whatever "grandma" felt like making that day, and the food is fresh and delicious. Usually they post the menu on a blackboard by the door so you have an idea of what it is you'll be getting (I also highly recommend the Berlitz European Menu reader if you don't want to order horse or calves' brains by accident). I say "grandma" because they appear to be owned (or at least fronted) by an older woman that the regulars know by name. And, as you mentioned, you can get a nice steak and salad at the local brasserie, along with a nice glass of excellent house wine. Or the cold-cut plate, which is perfect for lunch. Indeed, you can eat very well in France and not set foot on a 4-star restaurant at all.

Posted by: Fausta at March 26, 2005 08:31 AM (G3tVf)

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The Wizard, on behalf of the The Men's Club, has posted the Official Male Response (TM).

My only comment: I adore purple highlights.

Posted by: Kathy at 09:38 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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...Getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you,
Getting to hope you like me.

Getting to know you,
Putting it my way,
But nicely,
You are precisely,
My cup of tea.

Ooops. Er. Was having a Deborah Kerr moment there and I got stuck in it.

Anyhoo, it's somewhat relevant. Margi, the uber babe, has some questions she needs to ask me, to fulfill her obligations to the Interview Game. I suppose I should get around to answering them. But first, this is a meme, so it gets passed along. Here are the rules:

• Leave me a comment saying “interview me”. The first five commenters will be the participants.


• I will respond by asking you five questions.


• You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.


• You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.


• When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. (Write your own questions or borrow some.)

If you're interested to know all about me, read on after the jump. more...

Posted by: Kathy at 01:59 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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It's Tuesday, so of course it's Demystifying Diva Day. The topic we magnificent divas are tackling this week is flirtation do's and dont's....for men. After all, we lassies are all about demystifying things for you lads. It seems the least we can do is to tackle the hard topics ala Dan Rather. In other words, you'll find yourself somewhat informed, if you can successfully navigate the frog gigging references.

Now, personally, I enjoy flirtation. Always have. It's easy for me because I am a natural born flirt. Mom drank something when she was preggers with me and it's affected my behavior in this respect ever since. Honestly, I couldn't shut the damn gene off if I tried. But, honestly, who wants to shut off the flirty gene? Where's the fun in that? Anyway, because I'm good at this, I've noticed where certain men tend to fail in their effort to be good little flirts. In case you hadn't noticed, flirting is about sending off signals and, on the other end of things, learning how to read said signals properly. As such, these are my observations.

• First off, groom yourselves, darlings. {Insert Edna Mode voice here} Mediocrity is everywhere, darlings. You want to be a god? Well, notice that Zeus takes a bath and shaves on a daily basis. He also uses a good moisturizer and brushes his teeth. He also does something with the ear and nose hair, too, but I can't be bothered to tell you what. Because it's just gross. Oh, and Product! Product is good as well so you hair doesn't stick up at all ends. But in the end, darlings, it's all about the clothes. Don't dress like a hobo or the object of your affection will treat you like one. {/Edna voice} Seriously, lads. Take care of this sort of thing and you won't be wondering if it was you that turned her off, or if it was the dreaded something else.
• Look me in the eyes, darling. Don't look at my tits or my ass. I don't mind a little surreptitious gazing because, after all, I do want to know if you're gay or not. But don't stand there, blatantly gazing at my breasts, like I'm a New York Strip and you're a pitbull, wondering best how to tackle the problem at hand. It's not likely to get you anywhere.
• You're not in college anymore, so don't tell me I'm wearing a great shirt, but that it would look even better on your floor. Don't ask me how I like my eggs in the morning, because I'm likely to come back with the word, "UNFERTILIZED!" You're not in Kansas anymore. Leave the corn at home.
• Touch. Touch is good. A delicate finger along my hand is good. A hand that hovers in midair around my breasts, then actually reaches hesitantly for the nipples---in a public place---is not. Remember most women like to be thought of as nice. We do not like it when men do not think of us this way.
• Open your mouth and speak. Let the words ring forth. Women can understand nervousness. We can understand the hesitancy to make an ass out of yourself. What we cannot abide is someone who sends soulful glares from across the room for hours on end and then does nothing about it. Bleh. If you're worried about coming up with small talk, allow me to let you in on a little trick: ask questions. Then follow those questions up with other questions. The key to doing this successfully is to listen to the answers she gives you. Before you know it, you'll either find out that you have nothing in common, or you'll be embroiled in an hours long conversation that just might be the highlight of your evening. The point is, however, you won't know unless you go up and talk to her.
• A quick note about rings: if there's something on her left hand (or yours for that matter) just don't, ok. Adultery is so not worth the hassle.
• Don't try to be clever with your advances. Put yourself out there. Be a man, in other words. As you like to remind us every so often, you're descended from cavemen/hunter/gatherers. Go out and act like your prehistoric ancestors and try to hunt and gather. For instance, don't send her a drink; go up to her and ask her if you can buy her one instead. I can tell you from experience that if a woman is even reasonably attractive, she's had men send her drinks before. It gets old. Be fresh, unique and honest---ask her yourself.

And that's it, gents. The Cake Eater Flirtation dos and don'ts. Pretty simple stuff, on the whole.

My fellow divas, Silk, Sadie and Chrissy have their own takes on flirtation. Go read.

We also have a new feature this week. Some men have decided to get in on the Diva action and have formed, ahem, The Men's Club. Puffy (the first fish blogger, who would like you to know that despite his fins, he's ALL MALE, ALL THE TIME, BABY), The Wizard, and Phin and Zonker are the members of this exclusive little boys club and they will be preparing the Official Male Response (TM) every Wednesday to our little essays. The Wiz is up this week.

Should be fun to flip the coin, no?

Posted by: Kathy at 10:40 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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The Microsquash Pineapple has undergone a modification. What can we say? We hacked it. (Hahaha. Get it?) Er, anyway, I present to you, my devoted Cake Eater readers---ahem---The Microsquash Pineapple: The Cake Eater Mod.

Gawd. I crack myself up sometimes.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:58 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Apparently the blogosphere is in good mental shape. The divassez@gmail.com mail box is empty!

Quelle Horreur!

I can't believe you've all become that well adjusted since Friday, so I'll just assume you're shy. C'mon. Let your inner demon go wild. Shoot all your very imporant questions into our mailbox by 6pm GMT Thursday so Silk can have a go at answering them.

Posted by: Kathy at 02:47 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 My gawd...the innuendo in that last sentence...

Posted by: zonker at March 21, 2005 09:36 PM (/y7q3)

2 That's one filthy mind you have, Zonker.

Posted by: Kathy at March 21, 2005 09:42 PM (Tosbv)

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Holy covert site redesign, Batman!

Even though he sits less than five feet away from me, I generally have no clue what the husband is working on. Hence, it was a bit of a surprise to see Toon Girl had made her appearance.

His muttering about cascading style sheets should have tipped me off.

Anyhoo, if anyone's having issues seeing toon girl or she's rendering oddly in whatever weird-ass-obscure-browser you're using, throw your whines into the comments. She should be ok in both Firefox and IE. Anything else, well, we don't know.

Many thanks to the husband for all of his hard work keeping lil' ol clueless me from screwing things up.

And, once again, if you want to go and look at cartoon pinup girls, head over to Rion Vernon's. He's got what you need.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:24 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 Very nicely done! Bravo!

Posted by: The Wizard at March 21, 2005 01:33 PM (Q4WtS)

2 As I said in an earlier comment: YOWZA!! She's got major 'tude!! Love her! ; )

Posted by: Christina at March 21, 2005 02:54 PM (zJsUT)

3 She is adorable, if sassy is adorable. I love it!

Posted by: Phoenix at March 21, 2005 02:54 PM (4N2f4)

4 It was your comment, Chrissy, that made me go look at the site! I had no idea what you were talking about. Obviously, I wasn't paying attention!

Posted by: Kathy at March 21, 2005 02:59 PM (Tosbv)

5 Cool, very cool!

Posted by: Fausta at March 21, 2005 03:41 PM (G3tVf)

6 Firefox weirdness... cute girl head at the semi-top-right corner, but cute girl breasts in the left column, under General Info and the Search box. And then a big white space in the middle -- the blog not picking up until next to Housekeeping and the Munuviana box.

Posted by: Adrianne Truett at March 21, 2005 06:57 PM (sCxDi)

7 And: if I refresh a few times, all's back to normal

Posted by: Adrianne Truett at March 21, 2005 06:58 PM (sCxDi)

8 had the same issue myself when it first came up, Adrianne.

Posted by: Kathy at March 21, 2005 07:12 PM (Tosbv)

9 Sassy, snarky, and very Kathy!

Posted by: sadie at March 21, 2005 10:02 PM (4CLu3)

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I missed this one. George Kennan, 101, died last week in Princeton.

If you don't know who George Kennan---or his alter-ego Mr. X---was, you're forgiven. It's one of those obscure things you learn as a political science major, but hasn't spread much to the mainstream. In 1946, Kennan, who was working at the US Embassy in Moscow sent back to Dee Cee what will forever be referred to as the "Long Telegram." In it, he sounded the first post-war alarm about Stalin's ambitions and behavior, in effect, predicting the Cold War. He proposed what was ultimately to become the linchpin in the U.S.'s policy toward the Soviet Union: containment. He was the one who coined the phrase and the next year, he condensed the "Long Telegram" into an article for Foreign Affairs and published it under the psuedonym "X." If you're interested in reading it, you can find the article here.

In short, he was the guy who came up with the original strategy that helped us to ultimately win the Cold War. He deserves a healthy heaping of gratitude for his foresight.

RIP Mr. X.

(Cross posted you know where)

Posted by: Kathy at 12:33 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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