Baghdad Bob is back....with a vengeance.

Posted by: Kathy at 05:18 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 8 words, total size 1 kb.

I can't believe I'm about to write this, but the Strib has published an editorial that---GASP---I actually agree with.

Mark that one down for the record books, kids. I don't suspect it will happen again until 2030.

Posted by: Kathy at 05:09 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 41 words, total size 1 kb.

...You really should think about doing more pictures. No, no, no dahling, the fact that we need new shag carpeting at the Kabbalah center doesn't have a thing to do with your talent. We're all about helping you to reach your potential, and we think that you are the best actress ever...

Posted by: Kathy at 02:08 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 66 words, total size 1 kb.

Not.

Hmmmm. I wonder if Fidel was treated at this hospital when he had his little misstep last fall.

/sarcasm.

{hat tip: INDC Journal}

Posted by: Kathy at 10:52 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 40 words, total size 1 kb.

Man. Admirable restraint sucks. I was saving the best for last, but it didn't work out. And I'm pissed off.

I tried to post this over at The Llamabutchers, just to get off one parting shot across Rob's bow. Alas the cannon did not fire. Steve-o did not give me the ability to post images over there, which, all things considered, was probably a wise move, but still...

I tried to maneuver around the restrictions by uploading the image to my site and then cutting and pasting code into their posting window---we both have moo knew blogs, we're on the same server, it should have worked, right?---but, instead of being able to smirk for the rest of the week, I was rather unpleasantly greeted with a big fat VERBOTEN error. The husband couldn't even help. Then I had to go through the joy of trying to delete the post without having the ability to rebuild the site. AIEEEEEEE! Talk about panicking. Fortunately, I got it sorted out, but still...

I feel cheated. Robbed, even.

Damnit.

Here was what I was expecting: a lightly tanned Justice Boy sitting down at his desk, a fresh cup of coffee in hand, pulling his site up, happy to once again be the master of his own domain, and then...spewing a mouthful at the monitor once he saw himself snuggled up to Lizzie Bennet. It was perfect.

I was robbed, I tell ya. ROBBED!

Posted by: Kathy at 11:16 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 245 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Heh heh. Love it;-) Reminds me that I haven't photoshopped a LLama in weeks. That'll change....

Posted by: sadie at March 14, 2005 06:58 AM (4CLu3)

2 Just lovely, nonetheless... ; )

Posted by: Christina at March 14, 2005 11:52 AM (zJsUT)

3 I get it! Robbed! Too clevah. *snicker*

Posted by: Margi at March 15, 2005 02:58 AM (lWAiX)

4 Next, Rob should be photoshopped to Bride & Prejudice's Mr. Darcy.

Posted by: Fausta at March 15, 2005 09:20 AM (G3tVf)

5 That can be arranged, Fausta

Posted by: Kathy at March 15, 2005 11:13 AM (Tosbv)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

The Blog Formerly Known as Dayton v. Kennedy will now be called Kennedy v. The Machine, which, as Gary explains in this post, is quite appropriate.

Can't wait to see what the new site looks like!

Super Sekrit Message to Gary: Yes, I owe you an email. In it I will explain in minute detail why you should be watching House.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:52 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 69 words, total size 1 kb.

Since it's snowing here and the Clones just got thrown out of the Big XII tournament by that beeee-yotch Bobby Knight, I thought I could use a little pick me up.

Yesterday, Michele posted a link to this film. (Which is NOT safe for anyone, really). The daisy chain of what is to follow goes something like this...

I watched the film. The husband caught me giggling at it. He laughed, too and then posted the link to the film on his nerd gamer boards. This film inspired one of his buddies, Doc, to write the following little screenplay and post it to said boards. Unfortunately, the boards are password protected, so I can't link directly to it. I got Doc's permission to republish what he wrote here and edited for clarity.

I'm told that Pelleon and Thrawn are Imperial Admirals from the expanded Star Wars Universe. Like it matters.

Anyway, enjoy. I know I did.

A time not long, long, ago, in a galaxy not very far, far away

{A lone star destroyer blinks out of hyperspace}

Zugs: "Target galaxy has been reached. We've confirmed the location of their hideout, Sir. I cant believe what they did to poor Bugs Bunny...."

Neeva: "Very well, deploy the nav buoy and order the fleet to our location"

Zugs: "Yes, sir"

{Several dozen star destroyers parade into the zone, followed by the super star destroyer, and about a hundered or so corvettes, transports, and support vessels}

Pelleon: "Lord Vader, we've arrived. Those vile trators will pay"

Vader: "Excellent. Notify Admiral Thrawn to ready his defense wings should they raise any sign of a defense."

Pelleon: "Yes, lord Vader. It's sure is a shame what they did to
Bugs..."

{The fleet makes its way past a region of frozen debris, several gas giants, a mid-system asteroid belt, and a small red dustworld. Finally the destination is reached}

{Switch to a scene, somewhere in a bunker, built a mile into a mountain}

Lieutenant: "Sir, this is unbelievable, we're picking up contacts from... space?"

General: {passes the butterbar a memo} Read this, son"

{Switch to a shot of Presidential Directive}

"Presidential Directive x3458:
Gentlemen:

A large fleet of spacecraft may materialize in earth's orbit sometime this afternoon. Do not be alarmed. Pop some popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the show!

-W"

Lieutenant: "Sir, does this mean what I think it means?"

General: "He he heh. That's right, boy, Hollywood's day of reckoning has come!"

Lieutenant: "Hot Damn! They'll pay for raping my happy childhood now! {grabs his M-9}

General: "Settle down son, put down your piece and watch the experts handle this. Sure is a shame what they did to Bugs though."

{Meanwhile, deep inside Hollywood}

random executive #1: "That's strange, why were the Emmy's, Oscars, Viewers Choice awards, and about 20-odd other meaningless award ceremonies all moved to tonight?"

random executive #2: "I know, cool idea huh? We get to pat ourselves on the back earlier this year! And wasn't it GREAT how we modernized Bugs Bunny! I'm a genius!"

random executive #1: "Hey, what the hell was that noise?"

random intern: "Sir! Stormtroopers!"

{lots of carnage follows}

random executive #1: "Call the Governator!"

Arnold: "This es vhat you get, you fvhools... this es vor years auf portrayink me like Hans und Frans! Listen to me now ant hear me later, they're comming to fuck *clap* you up! Ant I von't stop them, you bunny fucker!"

{Pan to outside studio. Lots more carnage, as stormtroopers act as entertainment industry karma chinese food delivery boys}

{Switch to scene aboard Vader's ship}

Cyborg Reagan: "That's a beautiful sight, boys. Too bad about Bugs, though."

Cyborg Wayne: "Hot damn, it's about time! By the way, how exactly did they bring us back from the dead to be the next occupiers of Hollywood?"

Cyborg Patton: "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, son"

Cyborg Wayne: "Who are you calling son, pilgrim? {reaches for a revolver}"

Cyborg Reagan: "Easy there, Duke, Ted Kennedy's car has killed more folks then your gun, General Patton's for real. I'd leave him alone if I were you"

Vader: "Stop this bickering at once, or I"ll transport you all down there now, insted of after the area has been 'secured.'"

{Switch back to deep in a Hollywood executive's office}

random executive #1: "There has to be SOMEONE who will save us!"

random executive #2: "Not likely, Jim, we've pissed off most of the old heores with your 'modernized' revisions of them:

random executive #1: "That's nonsense! Get me Batman on the line!"

random intern: "Sir, Batman told us to go fuck off"

random executive#1: "Ok. Get me Spiderman on the line then!"

random intern: "Sir, we killed him off, remember?"

random executive #1: "Fuck! thats right! How about Superman?"

random intern: "Sir, he's dead too, but his last words to us were: 'Go fuck yourselves for ruining the Loony Tunes.' "

random executive #1: How about the army?"

random intern: "Sir, weve painted them in a bad light too!"

random executive#2: "The rebels?"

random intern: "Mon Mothma said, and I quote, "Get bent" (she always was so polite)"

random executive #1: "Sir Sean Connery! Surely he'll help us!"

random intern: "Sir, even that senile old goat is cheering the Empire on."

random executive #2: "What about Sir Elton John?"

random intern: "Forgive me for sounding glib, sir, but he took the pipe crying like a Sally in the first strike."

C3P0: " {wanders in} Oh, my. That's it. You're doomed!"

Marvin:" {sighs} I wish It was me"

R2D2: {lots of beeps} (translation: ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!)"

{Switch to Aboard Vader's ship}

Everyone: "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!"

{Switch to in a US command bunker in a mountain}

Everyone: "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!"

{Everwhere, as people finally get revenge for decades of shitty Hollywood ideas}

Everyone: "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!"

{Switch back to Hollywood executive's office}

Random executive: "Damn, I wish that line was our idea"

Stormtrooper: "Shut the fuck up and kneel! Bugs says 'hi.'"

{stormtrooper blows random executive's brains out}

Stoomtrooper: "Now, find where that fat fuck Michael Moore is, before he portrays this as some kind of tragedy instead of the healing cartharsis it is!"

W: "Hehe, settle down, cloneboy, leave him to me"

Arnold: "I'll ahrm vrestle you vor his head!!"

UPDATE: Related. {Ahem. Clears Throat} RIGHT ON!

Posted by: Kathy at 05:20 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 1077 words, total size 7 kb.

For the most part, I've dodged this problem since I've been on Movable Type. I've been protected and well by the powers that be. Other bloggers have had it far worse than I have. I know this, but I just got slammed, and I'm wondering what exactly do these people think they're achieving with this garbage.?

Their bots place spams on old posts, so no one sees them before I've had a chance to delete their crap. Then they're not even worded cleverly, so that some unsuspecting reader might actually click over. It's ALLSEXALLGAYSEX, etc. all the damn time. Nothing pisses me off more than having to erase the tracks of people who are, above all, STUPID!

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

If you're going to make my life hard with this crap at least, for the love of all that is good and holy, be clever about it!

Posted by: Kathy at 02:43 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 154 words, total size 1 kb.

Fausta has a very interesting piece today, titled Acculturation Is Simply Not Being Bilingual.

{...}The study found that, out of 7270 Latino and white students from 7th to 12th grades,

only 7 percent of students spoke mostly Spanish. Three-quarters of participants had never had sex. The researchers also found that Latino students who mostly spoke English were nearly 70 percent more likely to have sex than white students. However, Spanish-speakers were significantly less likely than white students, bilingual and English-speaking Latino students to say they were having sex.

Besides pointing out that Latino is not a race (Latin America is populated by people of all races), these numbers mean that the 509 children who spoke mostly Spanish were less likely to have sex, and more likely to live healthier lives. The good news is that 5,453 haven't had sex.

{...}The study finds that "less acculturated Latino youth living in the U.S. are generally healthier," and defines acculturation as students who "mostly speak English".

But acculturation is not just language.

{...}Prior generations of immigrants, once they arrived in the USA were taught, by the public schools and by other civic organizations, traditional American values; more specifically, middle-class, Protestant values, within a Judeo-Christian tradition. People learned to read English by reading the King James Bible. The Protestant work ethic was promoted through Horatio Alger stories, and the value of delayed gratification was spoken of. School curricula stressed discipline and the "three R's", and included famous sermons, such as Governor John Winthrop's A Model of Christian Charity. People were taught and encouraged to serve their communities through volunteering, a most American trait. In short, immigrants were directed towards what it meant to live in an American culture; no one assumed that simply knowing the language meant one was acculturated.

Public schools have long since changed, some for the better. Ideally, public schools would teach about the Protestant roots of the American colonies and how that became the basis for the Constitution of the United States; and about the Judeo-Christian tradition and its influence on the Civil Rights movement. But many don't, and controversies on whether the 10 Commandments or the pledge of allegiance have place in the classroom rage all over the land.{...}

Go read the whole thing.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:58 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 379 words, total size 3 kb.

With DirecTV I am not able to get a local forecast on the Weather Channel, because on this satellite service, the Weather Channel is a nationwide service and isn't "equipped" to handle specific regions.

Yet, when I want to watch a freakin' Big XII basketball game, I cannot---without paying extra for the privilege---because it's an out of region game.

Is it just me, or does this make absolutely NO sense whatsoever?

Make up your freakin' minds, DirecTV

And one other thing: NBA League Pass is not heaven. If I see one more eedjit reincarnated right back to the scene of their death to continue watching their stupid pro basketball games, I will beat someone with a stick.

Posted by: Kathy at 02:47 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 127 words, total size 1 kb.

Today, 2 pm CST---Iowa State v. Baylor. First round Big XII Tourney.

We shall win!

UPDATE: We're up 20 points at the half.

UPDATE DEUX: We won. 77-57 Texas Tech and Bobby Knight---you're up next!

Posted by: Kathy at 01:41 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 39 words, total size 1 kb.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:14 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 80 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Is it tragic that I remember all the words to that song? I always wanted a log

Posted by: silk at March 10, 2005 03:09 AM (uSiRG)

2 R&S flashbacks! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! :-D

Posted by: zonker at March 10, 2005 07:47 AM (/y7q3)

3 Great now I will have that stuck in my head all day! LOL

Posted by: jules at March 10, 2005 11:07 AM (kUgaP)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

I think Sadie is receiving the brunt of the payback for our Divas posts of recent weeks given the nature of her various all-male, all the time guest bloggers' subject matter.

In fact, one gentleman wrote, "Verily, I considered myself the Sir Isaac Newton of poontang."

I would highly recommend going over and, if the smell of locker room doesn't turn you off too much, to just keep scrolling.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:08 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 89 words, total size 1 kb.

Jonathan's got a question regarding Sin City:

{...}What I want to know is, has anyone else out there actually read the comic books?

Whatever else the Sin City comics may be, they are utterly unfilmable. They are page after page of murder, mutilation, torture, rape, beheading, cannibalism, and worse. L.A. Confidential is noir. Touch of Evil is noir. Sin City is Brett Easton Ellis's American Psycho without the daintiness and restraint. Think Hannibal meets Faces of Death.{...}

Well, I've never read them. Nor had I ever heard of them. When I commented on the movie earlier, I was working strictly off seeing the trailer during one of my trips to Apple.com.

The thing that struck me was that it looks like an actual comic book. And for a movie in this day and age, well, that's impressive. While Ang Lee adapted the typical comic book layout for his own purposes in The Hulk (which, honestly, really isn't that bad of a movie) and M. Night Shymalan did the same with Unbreakable, neither really made you the feel as if the glossy, chiaroscuro-ed, cross-hatched pages were right beneath your fingers. This movie looks like it could do it.

Provided the plot doesn't suck. If the plot strays too far from the original source material, well, it's done for. The subject matter must match the visual style of the film. I'm certainly not expecting a film titled Sin City, and that looks as dark as it does, to be about Girl Scouts selling do-si-dos in the hood. In other words, what does the audience expect and what will Hollywood deliver---and shall the twain meet somewhere in the middle? I believe it can be done, but only if the people making the film have some faith in their audience.

It's funny that Jonathan should mention Hannibal because, ultimately, that's the best example to prove my point about not straying too far from the source material. When Hannibal---the book---was released, no one thought they could ever make it into a film. It was unfilmable, they said. It was too gory. Too sick. I didn't think Hollywood could manage it and stay true to the material. But Ridley Scott did---mostly. While Ridley did manage to tone down the gore a bit (well, we are talking about Ridley here) still, there was Ray Liotta, at the end of the movie, watching Hannibal cook his own brains. Doesn't get much ickier than that, does it? None of the problems people anticipated the production would have in adapting the book were apparent in the film. Ridley managed it.

The real problem resided with the ending.

It was completely different from the book, and it had been bastardized by Hollywood. And that pissed me off, not the gore. The gore I expected. The ending, however, was not what I wanted to see. I wanted to see the ending as Thomas Harris' had written it, and not the ending that we received which kept Clarice's morals intact. They apparently never thought it was an option to have Clarice go off the deep-end, because the "alternate endings" on the DVD revolved around whether Clarice and Hannibal locked lips---and nothing else. In the book, however, Hannibal does corrupt Clarice. But he doesn't play fair, either, because she's drugged when he corrupts her. That ending and subsequent beginning of the next Hannibal movie would have been much, much better, because it would have taken us someplace we haven't been before. As it stands now, any new Hannibal movie they come up with (which I've heard from the lips of Sir Anthony himself will happen), will be about trying to recapture him...again. Which shouldn't be too damn hard because he's missing a hand.

I'd gone to see Hannibal, mainly, because I wanted to see if they chickened out with the ending. And they did chicken out. No surprises there. Hollywood's need to drop everything to the lowest common denominator is what ruins films, not the depravity of the source material. If the source material was so unfilmable, why on earth did they bother buying Miller's options? What's the point? If you're going to go ga-ga over the original source material and then try to tame it, you're not going to have a satisfying end-product, are you? The problem should be solved by the studios and producers optioning material that works within their parameters, instead of trying to shoehorn a great book or graphic novel, as it were, into those parameters after the fact.

Ultimately, audiences can make the decision about whether they can handle the material. Why Hollywood has so little faith in their audiences still seems to elude me.

Perhaps Scooby Doo 2 has an answer somewhere in it.

UPDATE: Jonathan's sticking to his guns. Via email:

{...}I just picked them up a couple weeks ago and
made my way through them. You and I should be forgiven for this
oversight, but my point was that the higher beings at EW shouldn't.

Also, Sin City makes Hannibal look like Snow White. I'm telling you, as
written: Unfilmable. (Or rather, filmable, but unwatchable.)

I trust Jonathan about the Sin City books, but I'm going to stick to my guns and hope they made the appropriate compromises when converting the source material. I don't want to pay yet another eight dollars and fifty cents to see a movie that might turn out to be least common denominator garbage.

If Hollywood's going to treat me like a child, I should at least be able to get the child rate at the theater.

At any rate, I'll look forward to Jonathan's review when it comes out in The Weekly Standard.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:52 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 949 words, total size 6 kb.

Makes sense.

Personally, I think I've got half an Olson twin attached to my ass, but that's just me flattering myself.

Posted by: Kathy at 09:58 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 25 words, total size 1 kb.

Well, we ain't Hizbollah, and we're not about to march on Beirut, but we can surely celebrate Dan Rather's exit tonight with style and panache.

Rich has an idea as to how to do accomplish this.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:43 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 40 words, total size 1 kb.

and for the love of all that is good and holy, I'm a disappointment.

I got nothin'.

I don't think I'll ever be doing this guest blogging business again. I noticed the malaise setting in last week, but thought I could pull out of it. Nothing's tripping my trigger, though. I can't get fired up. Bleh. Hence the lameness at two blogs, not just one.

Yesterday, I had to go over to the Mall of Gomorrah to visit my sister-in-law and my niece, who were in town for some shopping. Today, well, I had high hopes, but around midday I just started to not feel so well, so I went and napped. I'm still feeling a bit bleh, and will be shortly retiring to the sofa to read.

The fact that we are indeed moving at the end of the month does nothing to help, either. The places we've seen don't do a damn thing for me. It might have one feature, but it's lacking another we currently have. And I ain't going back down the ladder, ya dig?

When we found this apartment, we were the first people to see it and we took it, right there and then. It had everything we wanted. A fireplace. Older neighborhood. Archways. Walking distance to many things. A deck. A washer and dryer. But, most importantly, it had a dishwasher. The dishwasher is a non-negotiable item. We can't live with each other if we have to actually wash our dishes. We would have filed for divorce years ago if we hadn't figured out the amount of strife this business of dumping soap into the sink was causing us. But I digress.

Anyway, I've figured out the the solution to all my problems.

Powerball, baby.

The current fantasy I have running through my head is to win the Powerball and be able to actually, you know, purchase a house, wherein I could paint the walls purple if I wanted to. Not like I would, but just the mere thought of finally being able to move beyond rental white is a heady elixir indeed. There are two houses within spitting distance of the Cake Eater Pad that just went on the market and are perfect. We could get either one and I'd be a happy camper. But we'll never be able to afford either place unless we win the Powerball. The mortage on one with a 20% downpayment, I shit you not, would be just shy of ten grand a month.

But if we won the Powerball....

....well, we could purchase one of these two houses, hire packers (and people to unpack the crap as well. I'm not fucking about here.) and could go on vacation while all this business was going on. No muss, no fuss. I could, by the end of the month, finally be the mistress of our very own piece of property and be slurping a margarita on a Mexican beach.

Anyway, that's my roundabout way of apologizing for the lack of fresh content. Hopefully tomorrow will be better than today.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:54 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 529 words, total size 3 kb.

...you don't post all weekend or most of today and your mother calls to see if everything is all right.

Posted by: Kathy at 09:17 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 36 words, total size 1 kb.

1 ROTFL! That gave me the giggles

Posted by: Ith at March 07, 2005 10:17 PM (+80Iy)

2 LOL

Posted by: Fausta at March 08, 2005 08:20 AM (G3tVf)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

...Izzy Stradlin. Kicked out of Guns n' Roses.

{insert pause here}

What the fuck do you have to do to get kicked out of Guns n' Roses?

"Hey Slash! Stop shooting heroin into your cock, we've gotta vote on Izzy over here."

--- Dennis Miller

Methinks perhaps Axl should have paid attention to the cautionary tale that was Izzy Stradlin and the JuJu Hounds.

Posted by: Kathy at 07:18 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 70 words, total size 1 kb.

Well, I hope I'll be at the Target Center.

Anyone know how I can get accredited as a journalist for this concert? Or the one in Omaha?

And yes, I'm serious about this.

Not because I want to ogle The Edge up close and personal like (which I really, really do. Good God, but that man is hot. ) but because I've got U2 groupie-friends. They have questions they want answered. I could do a kick ass indepth interview, with those guys feeding me the questions.

Hmmmm. Methinks I will have to be crafty.

Posted by: Kathy at 05:50 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 112 words, total size 1 kb.