He wouldn't put up with this stuff. I can tell you that for nothing.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Amtrak suspended its high-speed Acela Express trains between Washington and Boston on Friday because of cracks found in hundreds of brake discs and said it may not have full service restored for two months.

In a potentially serious setback for the passenger railroad that is fighting to survive threatened cuts in government aid, an inspection turned up 300 cracked brake rotors out of 1,440 installed on Amtrak's 20 Acela trains, the company said.

Amtrak Chief Operating Officer Bill Crosbie said it could take up to two months to get all the trains back on the rails. He said the process of phasing the trains back into service would not begin until Wednesday at the earliest. He had no timetable for when repairs would begin.

"Acela Express will return to service only when it is safe to operate," Crosbie told a news conference. {...}

Can we all admit one thing? Amtrak needs to be privatized and it needs to happen now. Because I, for one, am sick and tired of paying for it.

According to the article Amtrak received $1.2 billion for this year from the federal government. And they're having to shut their baby down because of shoddy brakes. How much more is this going to put them in the hole? How quickly are they going to go begging to Uncle Sam? Bleh. On today of all days, when most people have to hand over large chunks of their income to the government, it's about time to recognize the fact that government ownership and operation of Amtrak is just not working out and it needs to be sold off, part and parcel, to someone who wants to buy it and run it profitably.

Perhaps Richard Branson would be interested.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:52 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Who should I vote for?

Your expected outcome:

Your actual outcome:

	Labour 8
	Conservative 61
Liberal Democrat -80
	UK Independence Party 18
Green -13

The Conservative Party is strongly against joining the Euro and against greater use of taxation to fund public services. The party broadly supported the Iraq war and backs greater policing and ID cards. The Tories are against increasing the minimum wage above the rate of inflation, and have committed to abolishing university tuition fees. They support 'virtual vouchers' for private education.

Take the test at Who Should You Vote For

Pretty much as I suspected.

Although, if given the chance, I'd vote for Labour and Tony Blair in a heartbeat. He deserves some support after all the hits he's taken over not abandoning America after 9/11. While Gordon Brown is creepy in the extreme, Michael Howard has never floated my boat, either. I like Tony. I didn't before 9/11. But I do now.

{Hat Tip: The Maximum Leader. Who confessed he wants a Darth Tater.}

Posted by: Kathy at 11:13 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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For the love of all that is good and holy.

Anyone who has watched movies on an airplane or on network TV has seen films that have been sanitized, so to say, by the removal of things like foul language, extreme gore or nudity. Generally speaking, though, film directors don't like altering their original artistic vision, which helps explain why cleaned-up versions of commercial movies are not routinely for sale at Blockbuster. They do exist, however, made possible by new technology and by companies that are responding to consumer demand for hit movies in a "family friendly" format. Hollywood is hopping mad. Put on your seat belt; it's going to be a bumpy ride.

{...}Good grief. What companies such as CleanFlix and FamilyFlix really do is buy DVDs of popular movies and make a second, cleaner, version. The buyer gets both copies, allowing the seller to claim that Hollywood has gotten full price for each original-movie sale and that the edited, or "backup," disc is protected by the doctrine of fair use in copyright law. Another company, ClearPlay, doesn't alter discs in any way. It creates coding that works with a special DVD player to filter--by skipping or muting--potentially objectionable parts of ordinary DVDs.

{...}The Family Movie Act (part of the Family Entertainment and Copyright Act), if it passes, may end one part of the brawl. It would effectively legalize the technology that ClearPlay uses. As the legislation's author, Rep. Lamar Smith (R., Texas), notes: "This is the electronic equivalent of using a remote control to mute the sound or fast-forward over objectionable material."

If you are worried about junior seeing a pair of b00bies in a movie, or being desensitized by too much violence, well, it perhaps you need this little reminder.

Ahem.

On every electronic device known to mankind there is an "Off" button. Use it. You might have to deal with a lot of lip, but it will ensure that your children are seeing what you want them to see and not making everyone else suffer in the meanwhile. It might also help you in your quest for cleaner material if you said "No," every now and again when junior/juniorette requests something you deem to be objectionable. After all, if you don't buy/rent a movie, Hollywood does not make money. This will force them to consider their options, because they're in business to make money. That's the free market at work, kids. If Hollywood deems there's a demand for something they're not supplying, well, they'll work their tight, little, liposuctioned asses off to provide it. In other words, stop expecting the government to parent your children, and learn how to do it yourself. Stop messing with other people's livelihoods because you can't be bothered to do this, ya dig?

This just pisses me off.

If you are so goddamned lazy that you need a DVD player that skips through objectionable content because you can't be bothered to fast forward through it, you are a waste of space. Get off my planet. Furthermore, that you would attempt to legislate your laziness, well, you deserve what you get the next time someone pulls a similar move. Because it will happen, kids. This is a slippery slope you're advocating. Censorship always is a slippery slope, because where the hell does it end? Pretty soon the choice is taken out of your hands and placed into someone else's.

Posted by: Kathy at 04:30 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Courtesy of everyone's favorite commie pinko (who, by the way, has finally come back to blogging and has been on a tear recently) we have FemDefence.

The picture might take a while to load, but wowweeee, when it does, you'll be a wee bit surprised.

Heh.

For the men in the audience, don't make the jump. You'll be grossed out because I will be discussing GIRLY stuff. I guarantee it, given your sex's general response when asked to go to the store to buy tampons. more...

Posted by: Kathy at 01:47 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Martini Boy believes that since Episode III: Revenge of the Sith has been given a PG-13 rating, this is reason to hope the movie hasn't been kiddie-downed too much.

I wouldn't bet the farm on it. Particularly not with this on the market.

They do not deceive you, your eyes. A Darth Vader Mr. Potato Head that truly is. Shot that marketing person should be.

/Yoda-speak

If, as I suspect, George Lucas is only in this for the money nowadays, what point is there to putting out toys for little ones if they won't be able to see the movie said toys are released to promote? But, you say, parents will take their kids to see it anyways. And you would be right. Hence it leads me to believe that everything other than the volcano scene and the ending will be targeted at an audience whose average age is five.

It also behooves me to point out that an unhappy ending to this movie (which we've all known about for years, but little kids might not) is preternaturally designed to---ahem---hook these kids for the rest of their lives. Where our generation clamored for the prequels, these kids will be clamoring for Episodes seven, eight and nine, because they want to know where it goes from there.

Which, of course, means more money for George Lucas.

But, hey, that's just me, Ms. Cynical, so take it for what it's worth.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:04 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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So, it's Friday. It's Divas Sez day. So, while two of my comrades in arms are traveling to Georgia (and are prepping themselves to deal with one massive hangover) and the other one is hanging out in England, I'm answering all those very important queries you sent to our inbox.

Read on after the jump. more...

Posted by: Kathy at 09:16 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I'm on the verge of disowning my child.

I wouldn't know Led Zeppelin if they knocked on my door.

I don't think I've ever heard "Stairway to Heaven."

So I don't know what all the fuss is about.

And you call yourself my child! Oh, the shame. The betrayal! The downright disappointment!

Vapors. Case of the vapors coming on right quick! Aieeeeeeeeeee.

{Insert Kathy trying to get a grip here}

Ahem. It's time to pay attention, child.

All you really need to know about Led Zeppelin is....

When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

Fast Times quotes aside, this is pure rock and roll. It's derivative of nothing and everything simultaneously. It is fresh and original, even thirty some odd years later. All you need do is listen. One other thing you need to know is that listening to Stairway is freakin' OPTIONAL, but that's another story for another day.

Ahem.

To further your education, I present to you, my child, two of our favorites. My favorite Led Zeppelin song is Bron-Y-Aur-Stomp. I would challenge you to listen very carefully to Jimmy Page's guitar playing on this one. It's deceptively simple. There is only one guy playing the guitar on that track. There have not been multiple tracks laid down. There were no other guitarists around. There should be, by all rights, more than one guitar. Know that there is not. Very few other people could have wrenched that much sound from a guitar. I can only think of three and one of them is dead.

The husband, the true Zeppelin fan in this household, had a hard time narrowing his choices down, but ultimately decided to present you with Black Dog. He says this is basic Zeppelin and I would have to agree.

Listen, sweet child o' mine. That is all you need do to redeem yourself.

UPDATE: Have shamed the child into redeeming herself. Even if she's only doing it to try and gain the throne of Cake Eater Land. A line from The Lion in Winter comes to mind:

You're not mine! We're not connected! I deny you! None of you will get my crown, I leave you nothing and I wish you plague! May all your children breach and die!

Heh. No benevolent dictatorship here.

No doubt you're thinking that's a wee bit rough. I don't. I'm all about high expectations. And I have high hopes for Cake Eater Land. My kid knows this. If she wants the crown, she knows what she has to do.

I shall expect an update come Monday.

I cannot believe I just got away with quoting Fast Times and The Lion in Winter in one post about Led Zeppelin. Just try and beat that one! I triple-dog-dare you!

Posted by: Kathy at 12:50 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 Please educate that child! Best make out is Zeppelin II (Whole Lotta Love). Best song: "When the Levy Breaks" Very, very loud!

Posted by: Ed at April 15, 2005 06:50 AM (O1vDh)

2 OMG...and you were brave enough to admit this on your blog? Is there a possibility that the child could have been switched at birth? Educate him. Bless you.

Posted by: Moogie at April 15, 2005 07:13 AM (W10nT)

3 We have, indeed, been separated at birth, Kathy!

Posted by: Fausta at April 15, 2005 07:36 AM (G3tVf)

4 Oh, the shame of it. I used to hold my uncle in awe because he caught several live shows back in the 70's.

Posted by: RP at April 15, 2005 09:00 AM (LlPKh)

5 "Fast Times" & "The Lion in Winter": work in a connection to Chaucer's "Cantebury Tales", and your ascention to "Queen of the Internet" will be complete. ps - "When the Levee Breaks" is the all-time greatest Led Zeppelin jam EVER!

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at April 15, 2005 05:56 PM (HoSBk)

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This is Sophia and she's two and half months old. She's my friend Katie's daughter and isn't she just the sweetest thing you've ever seen?

Say it with me: "Awwwwwwww."

Ok, now move along. There's nothing more to see here.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:55 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Robbo and Steve-o are chatting about the Madeline books by Ludwig Bemelmans. I can only say that I disagree with the Llama-ettes: I, too, wanted to have my appendix removed, just like Madeline's fellow boarding school flunkies. That would have been COOL when I was five!

Ahhhhh. I loved those books when I was little and I'm so glad they're still around and haven't disappeared into publishing obscurity, like so many others I adored when I was little. You see, I'm quite the fan of Madeline. Always have been. I've had a yen to go to Paris ever since I started reading about the twelve little girls, walking in two straight lines, the littlest of whom was Madeline. I always wanted to be at the end of the line because that's where the adventure makes itself known. I've always wanted a straw hat with a ribbon on it. Well, now that I think about it, I actually do possess a straw hat and I did try to put a black ribbon on it, but wasn't handy enough with the glue gun. Hmmph.

Madeline had chutzpah. She hung around with Pepito, who, while the son of the Spanish ambassador, was rather notorious for being a bad boy. She got lost with Pepito and they ran away with the Gypsies. She gave Miss Clavel grief, even if she never intended for that outcome. Madeline ruled and I loved her for it. I obsessively read and reread all of the stories, checking them out of both the public and my school library over and over again. This is where I gained my lifelong glomming habit. I still do this: glom onto an author whose works I love and read and reread their works, but darned if Sister Ramunda, the school librarian at the time, didn't try her best to scare me off this practice.

Now, I've encountered many o' a scary nun during my twelve years of Catholic education. This is unusual nowadays, because there really aren't that many nuns in the Catholic education system, but back then, well, I was the last of the children to receive their largesse. Sr. Celine, my rotund first grade teacher---God rest her soul---was as bad as they came. No one, and I mean no one, could drag you across a classroom by your ear better or more painfully than her. She was also really handy with a wooden ruler. And if the little metal edge on said ruler had come loose and flopped around all on its own, so much the better: it provided a little extra sting to your hand on top of the blow the ruler itself delivered. She could also be incredibly mean. You didn't want to look stupid in front of Sr. Celine, because she was likely to yell at you. The woman inspired terror and I was terrified of her then and still am today. She is not one of the five people I want to meet when/if I go to heaven. I never want to see her again. Ever. She died a few years back and I've never heard such a stir at mass as when her death was announced. People turned to one another, a mix of incredulity and hope painted broadly on their faces. They were incredulous that the old bat was actually capable of dying and apparently there was hope that nuns maybe, just maybe, could roast in hell for being mean to little kids. Father actually had to clear his throat loudly to get everyone to pipe down.

Now, I'm sure some of you will object to all this violence in the classroom. That's fine. While I personally think Sr. Celine was a witch in a habit and all she was missing was a broom, I shall refer you to what my mother has to say about the subject, because, five out of the eight of us had Sr. Celine for first grade: "I trusted the woman because you all learned how to read, write, and do math and could sit still and be silent by the end of first grade." Take her disclaimer it for what it's worth, and it's worth quite a lot, if you ask me, because all of us could read above our grade level, write, do math and sit still for hours on end after first grade.

While Sr. Celine inspired abject terror in us, Sr. Ramunda was nonetheless scarier to me. She was tall and skinny, and had a face like a horse: long with a big nose and small eyes that were hidden behind glasses. I was introduced to her at the same time I was Sr. Celine, and as a nun character study, she was no more likely to suffer fools gladly than Sr. Celine, but she wasn't violent about it. Sr. Celine may have carried a big stick, but she apparently hadn't learned to speak softly while doing it. Sr. Ramunda had learned that lesson and it worked. I can only remember her raising her voice to me once, and that was when I tried to check out a Madeline book for the umpteenth time.

You're too old for those books! Find something else because I'm not letting you have another one!

She was completely exasperated with my reading habits. I, of course, was shocked. You could check out anything you wanted to check out at the public library. Why was it different at St. Margaret Mary's elementary school? It wasn't fair! I remember being ready to rebel because I was getting shaky knees. For me, when my knees shook, it didn't mean I was frightened. It meant I was pissed off. Nor could I control this to save my life. It just happened. It meant I was ticked off and this was my body's way of dealing with anger against people I knew I couldn't be angry with. Just as I was about to open my mouth to protest, Sr. Ramunda sent me so withering a stare from under her habit that I was jerked clean out of the impending protests I was about to lodge. My knees had stopped shaking. I walked back to where I'd found the book, returned it to the shelf, wordlessly picked something else out, walked back over to her desk and presented it for checkout. She stamped the card, handed me the book and sent me on my way without so much as a word.

I lost that battle of wills and Madeline walked out of my life, her hat ribbon flowing in the breeze. Because Sr. Ramunda was right: I was too old for those books and I needed to move on with my reading. I knew this even then, but I couldn't help but love how safe and secure those books made me feel, even when they were telling me tales of Madeline's adventures. I wasn't a popular kid at school, and as is true for so many other people, I retreated into books. They were my safe place, and still are. It's not lost on me, either, that this is perhaps why I'm not as adventurous in my reading habits today as I could be. As I mentioned above, I still glom, mainly because there's no Sr. Ramunda to stop me. While it feels mutinous and is definitely still feels like a guilty pleasure when I do this, the memory of Sr. Ramunda lingers and I know I should move on to other things. Because I might be missing something in my need for safety and comfort. Sr. Ramunda knew this. While I will contend that she could have been a little kinder in pointing this out to me, she knew what she was talking about : that, ulitmately, by moving beyond Madeline, I could become more like Madeline, which is what I wanted then.

And is something I still do want.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:32 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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As in, "You've got to be fuckin' kidding me."

WASHINGTON - Starting Thursday, air travelers will have to leave their lighters at home. Unlike guns, knives and other dangerous items that a passenger cannot carry aboard but may stow in checked bags, lighters are banned everywhere on a plane.

The rule change is expected to produce a large number of seizures of lighters even though airports, airlines and the government have been telling travelers for the past 45 days about the impending ban{...}

The reason behind this is pretty simple: they don't want anyone starting any fires on planes. Well, ok, but guess what?

{...} The ban does not include matches. Passengers still may carry aboard a plane up to four books of safety matches. Not allowed on planes are "strike anywhere" matches, which can be struck using any abrasive surface.{...}

Oh, good God, people.

You can't take a lighter on a plane because we can detect those, there being little metal parts in them that a metal detector will catch. But bring all the matches you want, because there's no way in hell that we can detect those, so they're a lost cause. (Are you reading this, Mom? Don't bring your lighter with you the next time you fly or they'll hoark it.) When I just mentioned this to the husband, he felt the need to inform me that the reason they're actually doing this is because with a lighter you have a flammable fluid (an explosive) under pressure and it could be used as a bomb. Well, ok, but if it's such a problem, such a threat, why did it take them three and a half years to ban lighters? Why, If lighters in checked-baggage have been banned for years because of the dangers to the cargo hold, have you been able to keep your cigar lighter in your suitcase and no one's given a rat's ass about it? Why hasn't that nice Colibri been confiscated before now?

{Insert slamming of head on desk here}

I believe it's time to ask this question: do you feel safer flying since all of these post-9/11 changes have been introduced?

Because I don't.

While I do believe airport security needed to be tightened up, I believe the TSA is now just going through the motions. They're doing stuff for the sake of doing stuff. They're trying to give the appearance of security, where none is going to be found in actuality. I don't feel one iota safer because they're x-raying my shoes, confiscating nail clippers, or feeling me up when I forget and wear an underwire bra instead of the sports bra. I will also say that I REALLY don't feel any safer because they let the first class/business class passengers skip to the head of the security lines because I've seen what happens when they go through the metal detector, and, just in my humble experience, they're not subjected to anywhere near the level of scrutiny that I have to go through as a coach passenger. They're whisked through as quickly as possible, because God help the TSA officer that doesn't allow them to get to their flight on time. They paid more for their ticket; they're special.

Does any of this make you feel safer? Does it make you feel as if there will never be another 9/11? Do you whistle your way through security, secure in the notion that this increased scrutiny is preventing another horrible terrorist incident? Or do you feel as if it could happen because the TSA employees are a. Union workers and b. even if they do care, still miss quite a bit because everything has to be scrutinized to the utmost?

There is something to be said for deterrence. All of this increased security is supposed to be a deterrant from someone attempting another 9/11. Do you think any of this is actually going to deter a terrorist? Or do you think they'll just be cleverer in the future and that we should be paying attention to that instead of banning cigarette lighters? Because you know someone out there will come up with a cigarette lighter that is undetectable. They've done it with knives and guns. Why not with cigarette lighters?

Throw your thoughts in the comments.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:06 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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The Manolo has a question regarding the Boom-Boom McConaughey and the Penelope.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:18 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Well, maybe not.

The Roma strike again.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:07 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I don't normally watch Channel 5 News. Hell, I don't generally watch any local news because I find it to be, for the most part, full of shit. But Wednesday night is ABC night at the Cake Eater Pad. You've got Lost, Alias and that new show, Eyes, so the husband and I are subjected to sitting in front of the tee vee for three hours at a pop every Wednesday night.

We're also subjected to Cyndy Brucato constantly plugging stories about whatever blew up in the Twin Cities today for the ten o'clock news. If you're lazy, I would ask you to please click on that link. See how that picture advertises her wares.

Then look at this.

This is how she looks every night of the week.

Aieeeeeee.

All I can say is that the woman is scary looking. I don't know who talked her into this harsh-ass makeover, but the insanity stops here. Lighten up, lady. Literally. Lighten your hair and ditch the Wednesday Addams eyeliner. You're scaring me. {Insert shudder here}

And while I'm on the subject of KSTP news: with all of the firings, Joe freakin' Schmit gets promoted? Joe "I'm a Suckup and I Don't Possess Even Half a Brain" Schmit remains gainfully employed? Explain that one to me, will ya? Oy.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:36 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Fidel's being obtuse again.

HAVANA - Cuban President Fidel Castro criticized President Bush's attendance at Pope John Paul II's funeral Friday as "hypocrisy" because of the pontiff's opposition to the war in Iraq, and he downplayed the pope's role in toppling communism in the former Soviet bloc.

U.S. officials "went to cry in the presence of John Paul II, who was so against war, who so condemned the world order imposed by that empire (the United States), who so condemned consumerism," Castro said in his speech Thursday. "How far will hypocrisy go in this world? In my opinion it's an insult to John Paul II's memory." {...}

But wait, it gets better. Fidel tries to hitch his star to John Paul II's.

{...} Praising the pope for his compassion for the poor, his anti-war politics and his rejection of a long-standing trade embargo against Cuba by the United States, Castro said he shared more similarities than differences with John Paul, and that it was religion, not politics, that shaped the pope's stand against communism.{...}

{Emphasis mine}

So basically, the way good ol' Fidel sees it, if the Pope hadn't been Catholic, he would have been a Communist.

{...}"It's true that the pope was very critical of communism," Castro said. "But he also became very critical of the capitalist system."

An impassioned Castro spoke at length about the pope's historic 1998 visit to the island, saying, "He did not come with the intention of destroying the (Cuban) revolution."

The Cuban leader downplayed John Paul's role in helping end communism in his native Poland and Eastern Europe, saying one man could not be credited with ending a political and economic system.

"If one day Cuban socialism comes crumbling down, no one is to blame except ourselves," he said.{...}

Finally! He speaketh some sense! But he must have been drunk when he said this, so it probably doesn't count.

Posted by: Kathy at 02:28 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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To Texas Best Grok's John L.

Have a great day, your connectivity issues notwithstanding. And make sure you have a piece of cake to celebrate! This way you too can be a Cake Eater!

Ok. Yeah. I understand that was pathetic, but it was also easy. Sue me.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:39 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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...if I can't find a way to tweak the Llamas.

So, courtesy of Rob the Pious Agnostic, we have The Llama Song.

Clicket and enjoy. I know I did.

Yeah, I know this one's been floating around for a while. It will still tweak them. And, if you hadn't noticed, it's really freakin' fun to tweak those boys.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:23 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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But did you believe me? Noooooooo. Well, I've got irrefutable proof.

Hat tip: Michele

RELATED: For all the wine and boob lovers out there---and God only knows we'll never get accurate statistics on those fetishists---we have Cleavage Creek Wines, where ten percent of the proceeds go to breast cancer research.

Get drunk and save those boobies you so dearly love! Could you ask for a better deal? I think not!

UPDATE: The Wiz has inquired if there is a name generator for his, er, whatchamacalit. Since I don't have a watchamacalit, I shall lead you here and y'all can play around with it as much as you like.

Christ, I amuse myself sometimes.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:28 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Not everyone's reading Sully these days, so I thought I'd pass this one along, since he's made a rather surprising admission:

IRAQ: It behooves me to write that I'm chastened - and extremely heartened - by the progress we're making in Iraq. The elections were obviously the key - and they should have been scheduled at least a year before they were. But it's equally true that the constancy of our amazing troops, and the magic of democracy, are turning this long hard slog into a long hard slog with an end in sight. The criticisms of the past endure. But the fundamental objective seems to be within sight. The right decision - to remove Saddam - is no longer being stymied by wrong decisions. I feared the worst. I was wrong.

Did you get that? He said he was wrong about Iraq.

Jesus Christ on a piece of toast!

Say what you will about the man, but I find this action very, very classy.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:16 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 Errrrrm....yeah. I suppose he felt compelled to put in that little snit about how the elections should have been held a year ago in order to retire from the field with dignity. I wonder what his reaction would have been if we had rushed things and made a pig's breakfast of it all. I've always approached the issue with the idea that the Administration was making a good faith effort to reach that light at the end of the tunnel all along and that, unlike Sully and his ilk, it understood that war and its aftermath are messy, unpredictable things that require patience as much as any other virtue. What would really be gob-smacking is if Sully actually confessed that maybe Dubya and Company are not such complete morons after all and that we are seeing the results we are because of their efforts, not in spite of them.

Posted by: Robert the Llama Butcher at April 12, 2005 01:26 PM (XBUdh)

2 I know what you mean about the little snit, but on the whole, I was surprised as all hell that he even brought the topic up after so much radio-silence. Good points.

Posted by: Kathy at April 12, 2005 01:28 PM (RFVZA)

3 No, I agree. That is surprising. I like to think it means there is hope for the guy.

Posted by: Robert the LB at April 12, 2005 02:07 PM (XBUdh)

4 I got that

Posted by: Kathy at April 12, 2005 02:21 PM (RFVZA)

5 Wow. And, when I have nothing of intelligence to insert into a discussion, I will almost always drag the commentary into the gutter. I see what you've done there with your post title. I like it. See? I really AM just kidding. I know I am the one to blame for my perceived Internet Blondness. It's a habit I've had all my life.

Posted by: Margi at April 12, 2005 02:23 PM (lWAiX)

6 It takes alot for a person to admit it when they're wrong. I give him credit!

Posted by: The Wizard at April 12, 2005 06:01 PM (iczWB)

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....whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when you're sniffing that glue?

Er, sorry. I couldn't help but continue on with the Cops antidote. I didn't want y'all to be poisoned. Ahem. Bygones.

Anyway, it would be Tuesday, which, of course, means yet another installment of The Daring Demystifying Divas. Today's topic: bad boys and why women, indeed, love them.

If I had a nickel for every time a guy, after a long night of drinking and smoking, asked me, "Kath, why do women like jerks?" I'd be a rich woman. This complaint was laid at my feet frequently in the golden days of yore, generally, because I was the nice girl they were walking home. If their evening had gone as planned, I wouldn't be anywhere in the vicinity. Their definition of a jerk was one who swooped in at the last minute, ruining well laid plans. I prefer to call the guys who did the swooping business "bad boys." Because, ultimately, that's what they are---bad boys.

I never answered these guys seriously when they asked. I always tried to boost their confidence by saying things like, "Oh, she's nuts. She's not worthy of you," and so on and so forth. The last thing they needed from me at that stage of the game was to lay out the facts of the matter.

Well, times have changed. I'm not walking home from the bars with yet another heartbroken man. I am blogging. I am supposed to be "demystifying" things. So I will, indeed, lay it all out for the men.

Now, as I see it, the attractions of the bad boy are many---one of which is that they generally ride motorcycles---but I think it ultimately comes down to the fact that they don't give a rat's ass about what the world thinks of them. They're not oblivious, by any means. They just don't give a damn. There's something very liberating in that, and freedom, as we all know, is a heady elixir. To be liberated from the say-so of society? Not to conform your life to what other people think you should be doing or saying? Not to care a whit if you're poaching on someone else's territory?

Well, wow.

One could get drunk on that potion rather quickly and easily, as if it was a shot of tequila, instead of a rush to the system. There's something very manly in that action that gets the estrogen to pumping, ya dig? It's quite sexy. Even if you know firsthand that the guy is a Grade 'A' Prime asshole. Some of us just don't care.

I know. It makes absolutely no sense, right? If women make judgments based on our emotions and brains rather than on our hormones, well, we'd pick the nice guy each and every time, right? We'd find niceness sexy, right? Well, I hate to tell you this, darlings, but we do possess hormones and when you get that sort of rush, well, I think those of you who possess the vaunted XY chromosome could relate, eh?

Ok. Knowing that's probably not going to fly, I shall valiantly push on with the demystifying, because there's more to come. There's the good news. I did mention that there was good news, right? I didn't. Oh, well. Sorry about that, but there is indeed good news, so ungird your loins: women get tired of bad boys. We do, indeed, move on to the nice guys. Eventually most women become accustomed to the hormone rush and decide that, "hey, most bad boys treat me like shit." They will dissect what they found attractive in their particular bad boy and they will look for the good qualities they liked and will try to find those in a nice guy. And there are plenty of nice guys out there, it's just a matter of finding the right one. One who has the proper blend of good guy and jerk.

So now that things are as clear as mud, go and see if the other Daring Demystifying Divas can clear things up for you. If you're a lady, know that the Macho Men's Club have flipped the coin and are tackling the topic of bad girls, and why men love them. See, kids? We really do have something for everyone!

UPDATE: Michele and Phoenix have also chimed in.

Posted by: Kathy at 02:20 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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As if it was a birthday party, my Maximum Leader decided to have a Star Wars themed weekend.

Light sabers were purchased.

Go read all about it.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:41 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 I am still feeling the shame of purchasing the lightsabre. I've hidden it from family. I think that before long I'm gonna have to come clean on it. But not before I buy another one so that I can have lightsabre duels with the kids.

Posted by: The Maximum Leader at April 12, 2005 12:06 PM (jiSuM)

2 Oh, definitely come clean. I bought the husband a light saber years ago as a stocking stuffer. It sits on his desk and he loves throwing it out (it's collapsible) and, in between consulting calls, pretending he's Luke. I have mentioned that I'm married to a grown man, right? Ok, just wanted to make that one clear The kids will love it. You really do need to get another one. Our niece and nephew always clamor for that toy when they come over. It never gets old.

Posted by: Kathy at April 12, 2005 12:20 PM (RFVZA)

3 We had one of those noise making sabers here at work along with a talking Yoda doll. Lets just say my boss found it a home in the trash can when the guys ignored his "suggestion" they knock it the hell off And Yoda, well he was mutilated. Every month brough some new indignity until he had no eyelids, a beard, and was posed in odd positions with Darth. Did I mention I work with all men?

Posted by: Ith at April 12, 2005 01:50 PM (ZJHI1)

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