April 06, 2005
What? Haven't you been paying attention? Geez. We've been doing this for almost a month! That's practially the longest running feature in the blogosphere!
I know. I know. You've been busy. You've been avoiding my site because I'm looking for coin and you don't want to feel guilty about not coughing up. You also are loathe to admit you are such a fan of blogs and bloggers that you emultate us by adopting our habit of having attention spans that are roughly the size of your average gnat. I know all about this, but come on, kids! We're here to answer all of your very important questions. Take advantage of the situation, for cryin' out loud!
So, here's what you're going to do: you're going to clicket on baby-got-back-girl over on the right sidebar. An email prompt will pop up. You're going to fill it with that one question about the fairer sex that you've been dying to ask, if only you'd had an outlet for such a question. You will then send it off.
Feisty Chrissy will do her absolute best to answer it on Friday and, to paraphrase Bertie Wooster, God, as I once heard Jeeves put it, will be in His heaven and all will be right with the world. (He added, I remember, some guff about larks and snails, but that is a side issue and need not detain us.)
You will then do this again next week. On the off chance that you will have become so well-adjusted as a result of Chrissy's brilliance, you will spread the word to your friends and family and ask them to send questions to the Divas Sez mailbox for the next Diva to answer. Which, if memory serves, will be me.
Got it? Good. Let's not have this discussion again next week, ok? One gets bored when one has to repeat themselves.
Posted by: Kathy at
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They believe in free love and multiple relationships, but not casual sex - and enjoy feeling "frubbly".As a group they practise "polyamory" - the latest social phenomenon to cross the Atlantic to Britain, psychologists heard yesterday.
Polyamorists have relationships that are wide open. Despite having numerous partners at any one time, they are emotionally committed and do not cheat on them.
So, what these folks are doing is outside of the mainstream. They're rejecting the traditional Western monogamy construct as artificial. As such, one psychologist has decided these people (she's one of them, too) need a whole new language.
{...}Polys, as practitioners of polyamory term themselves, now need new words to describe their emotions and actions, Dr Barker said.Some terms have been coined already. "Ethical slut" is used to define a woman in an open multiple relationship and is an attempt to take the stigma out of "slut". Feeling "frubbly" is described as the opposite to feeling jealous and is used to describe feelings of friendship towards a lover and their other partners, who are called "metamours".
A "wibble" is a jealous feeling but "not a massive sexual threat", Dr Barker said. "We are interested in another language," she told the conference. "The question is, when you are not having a standard relationship, what do you do for words? There are no words for what we do."{...}
{Insert head slamming on desk here}
Ok, bitch. Develop a whole new language to describe the fact that you like a little variety in your love-life. But don't try and tell me that by developing this whole new language you're not trying to rationalize your actions. Because you are. Even if you don't realize it.
Which is pretty pathetic, on the whole, if you ask me.
Hat tip: The Daily Ablution.
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April 05, 2005
Can you barbeque dead guppy? Or would it be too much of a waste of time?
Posted by: Kathy at
09:19 PM
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get yourself a bf that cooks..i have one..i go to the kicken only for a glass of water! he's marvelous
- Note to the boy and girl ducks that are in my yard right now: don't even THINK about getting down in my garden. The Cake Eater garden is not a duckie brothel. Go elsewhere to get your groove on.
And don't fly up to the garage roof, either, to lay your eggs. I don't want a repeat of what happened last summer when you almost abandoned your baby ducks because you were too fucking fat and lazy to fly back up to them.
- Serious props go out to the deli guy at our local Lunds. Way to slice that pastrami extra thin. Mmmmmm. It was magically delicious.
- It may be almost eighty degrees right now, but it's going to snow again. I know it.
- Rainbath is the shit.
- Hey, lookie! I finally met Robbo and we partied down at the Crack Young Staff's first anniversary ball. Steve-o, unsurprisingly, was nowhere to be found. Seems as if Sadie and The Maximum Leader cut quite the rug, too.
- Thanks to everyone who has donated to the First Annual Have Your Cake Blegathon so far. You know who you are. I know who you are. God knows who you are. Your bases are covered. For the rest of you? Well, eh. Thanks to those who linked as well. You rule!
- While I like the sound of it, "Editrix" is not a word.
- It sucks that House is a rerun tonight.
- I wonder if Ith realizes that if you type "House M.D." into Google (Whilst looking for the link to the actual Fox site. Ahem.) her site is the third entry listed.
- I was up until 3:30 this morning. I am officially justified in taking a nap.
- I am going to go and take that nap. Right now. I've hit the wall.
This is yet another example, my devoted Cake Eater readers, of what it's like to be inside my head. I hope you've enjoyed the ride. Now, get out.
Posted by: Kathy at
02:55 PM
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Marrrrrvelous, darling.
As was mentioned last week the three of us and The Four Musketeers Men's Club were charged with sussing a few things out for Dax, who was inspired not only to ask, but also in a bit of creative illustration by watching Cheaters:
{...}What is cheating? Is it just fantasizing about being with another person? Is it a casual flirtation? Is it meeting for coffee? Is it any less than actual penetration?And at what level of commitment can cheating occur? If I take Sadie out to dinner on Friday and then Christina to the theater on Saturday, did I cheat on Sadie? What if Sadie and I shared an intimate kiss? Is that different? What if Kathy and I had sex one night, then I went out with Silk? Did I cheat on Kathy? Never mind that Priscilla would castrate me and stuff my penis in throat before she got busy actually killing me.
At some point in every relationship an emotional investment is made. How much of an investment does it take before cheating can occur? What should be the penalty?
Hmmmm. That's a lot of questions. I shall do my best to answer.
Ultimately, for me, it comes down to what causes harm. That's cheating. If you know your actions will cause your partner pain because they would see your actions as a betrayal, that would be cheating. It's pretty simple stuff.
Now, this obviously doesn't count if you're not with someone, yet they are under the mistaken impression that you are and they're hurt because you went off with someone else, etc. You must be in a relationship where promises regarding faithfulness have been made. This need not mean marriage.
Now, I am absolutely sure after reading this it has just crossed someone's mind that they're in the clear and a big wave of relief has washed over them. Well, don't let yourself off the hook there, darlin', because I'm sure as heck not going to. If these people think they've just been given the green light to whip out the "what they don't know won't hurt them" rule, thinking ignorance truly is bliss, think again. Because partners always know, even if they don't know the particulars. That's, ultimately, a bogus rationalization for selfish behavior and it's not going to fly with me. (As a related side note: I find it interesting that there are many conservative men who were on the warpath when Bubba Clinton did his thing, ranting and raving about how, yes, a bl0w j0b does constitute sexual relations, yet who nowadays find it absolutely ok to justify their actions the same way he did. But I digress.)
Anyway, to get back to the topic at hand which was pain in case your mind is as all over the map as mine is this morning.
Now, there is pain, and there is pain. Cheating causes the latter type of pain. It hurts, to put it bluntly. I haven't been there, Thank God, but I have friends who have, and dear God, they were just ripped to shreds by the event. These friends were married or were in committed relationships---relationships where promises of fidelity were offered and accepted. Their partner would have a fling, they'd find out about it somehow and always, always, always, the betrayal was the only thing they could see for weeks. They felt like they'd been used, and to top it off, they had this habit of blaming themselves for their partner's actions. They'd been found lacking, they realized. Whether this lack of whatever was real or perceived was really beside the point at that stage of the game: it was there, looming large, like an oversized vulture just waiting to feast on the remains. It made them feel humiliated; it made them beat themselves all over with the if only stick. If only I'd done this, if only I'd done that...none of this would ever have happened and we'd still be happy. While that point is debatable, it's the humiliation that, just from my experience of helping a few friends, is harder to get over than the betrayal.
But cheating is relative. If you're in a relationship where you're allowed to hook up with other people, no one is cheating---in the true sense of the word. Cheating means to get away with something, to take the easy route to satisfaction. It means everyone is on the same page as far as what is expected and someone has diverged from that understanding. If there is a misunderstanding, where one partner thought one thing and the other thought something that was at the opposite end of the spectrum, well, there are bigger problems in that relationship than just perceived infidelity.
Does a casual flirtation cause harm? I don't think it does. But someone else might. Does the husband's endless fascination with Angelina Jolie harm me? Nope, because I'm secure in our relationship and I know that bitch can't hold a candle to me. She's also a whack-job, too, so I've got her beat there, as well. (No comments from the Peanut Gallery, eh?) Does my fascination with Colin Firth hurt the husband? Does he think I'm cheating because I occasionally wander around Pemberley in my mind with Colin? Nope. Because we understand what is and isn't cheating. We're on the same page. We've made promises and have kept those promises. Other couples might think differently and might have made different promises.
As far as penalties are concerned, well, I have certain thoughts about that and they involve a toothpick and rope.
Now go and read what the other Delicious Demystifying Divas have written on the same subject. For the droopy, feather-totin' hatted opinions of our Four Musketeers, go and read Puffy, Phin, The Wiz and Zonker. Although, I'm not really sure how two fish can wear big droopy hats adorned with feathers, but hey, this is the Internet, isn't it? The land of imagination, so make yours work for you.
UPDATE: Pammy at Lollygaggin' has chimed in.
Posted by: Kathy at
03:36 AM
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Wonderful essay hunSort of.
{insert scratching of head here}
Posted by: Kathy at
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Bach works well for what I'm about to write, and this particular piece of Bach's prolific catalogue works even better than some overwrought, organ grinding, gut churning fugue ever would.
Bear with me while I explain.
I was listening to our local classical station in the days after 9/11 and one of the DJ's announced out of the blue that they were going to play all of Bach's Unaccompanied Cello Concertos. This is a goodly bit of music, about an hour long, and as MPR usually just plays a movement here or an overture there, this was an unusual move. The DJ then gave their reasoning: at Ground Zero apparently there was a lone cellist playing this exact piece for the workers, as they searched for bodies. The DJ said that this lone cellist was a music teacher; that they were unable to help with the search efforts and yet they wanted to help, so they brought their cello and a chair down to Ground Zero and started playing.
From there on in I've associated this piece with the heartbreak of that tragedy, but also with the thought that someone, in their best Little Drummer Boy fashion, brought what they had and offered it up to make life better for someone else. That act touched me tremendously. It is in this spirit that I have pulled the Bach up on the WinAmp, have placed the headphones over my ears and have immersed myself in the gentle caressing of the cello strings to offer what I can for my church. So that I can, in my best Little Drummer Boy fashion, try and make life easier for others.
If such a thing is possible. more...
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April 04, 2005
John Paul II was elected when I was seven years old. He has, quite literally, been Pope for most of my conscious life. I don't remember the popes who came before him and it's something of a shock to think that there will actually someone coming after him. It's so odd that he's died. One would have thought he was so strong that he could have actually defied mortality and lived forever. more...
Posted by: Kathy at
03:59 PM
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{...}Formerly, the Manolo he had regarded the poncho as merely the benign if ridiculous fashion trend.Now, the Manolo he realizes that the poncho it is the evil incarnate.
It is the loathsome seducer of the womens. It calls in the sweet voice, “I am the poncho, if you wear me I will help you conceal your flaws. I promise, your hips, they will disappear under my protective cover of man-made fibers. Look, darling, you can even make me yourself for $1.49 in the material. Choose the aqua yarn. It is pretty no?”{...}
Ahem.
The Manolo No-Poncho Pledge
“I, Kath The Cake Eater, swear on the head and/or the grave of my sainted granny to never wear, buy, knit, crochet, or fashion from the old throw rug, the poncho. And if the poncho it is given to me as the gift, I will graciously thank the giver and then, when she has left, put the poncho into the dog’s bed and/or the trash as the case she may be. Only by doing these things faithfully can I help end for the good of the humanity the scourge that is the poncho. So help me Manolo.”
{Hat tip: Fausta}
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From Gary's promo email:
{...}As you may know, our blog Dayton v. Kennedy
(daytonvkennedy.blogspot.com) underwent a major challenge several
weeks ago when our principal antagonist -- Minnesota Democratic
Senator Mark Dayton -- decided not to seek reelection.For the last several weeks we have persevered by calling ourselves 'The Blog Formerly Known as Dayton v. Kennedy' or simply TBFKADVK. In spite of Dayton's withdrawal from the race, we intend to continue blogging the 2006 Minnesota Senate Race from a (Mark) Kennedy-centric perspective. And even with Senator Dayton's withdrawal our readership has continued to grow and we have been highlighted in several national publications.
To that end we undertook to both rename and redesign our blog. A link
to the new site is below. After several weeks we arrived at the name
'Kennedy vs. The Machine' -- the "machine" being the amalgamation of the DFL, Star Tribune, most local TV affiliates and all the national Leftist groups who will bring their forces to bear on Rep. Mark Kennedy over the next 18 months.{...}
Update your bookmarks/blogrolls/whateverthehellyouneedtoupdate and make sure to visit them often.
Posted by: Kathy at
11:21 AM
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You go, girl.
If you don't get that, well, that's not really my problem. She'll get it. And my reign as the "Goddess of Snark" will continue undisturbed.
Posted by: Kathy at
11:02 AM
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Choice quote:
{...}Where normally I would have gone into a Niles Crane-like dance of frustration, here I simply ignored it, putting her on the ground and saying in my best Marty Feldman voice, "Act casual, say nothing."{...}
Go read. Shoo. Be gone.
I will only say this much: you'd better pray, Robbo, that the littlest Llama-ette never finds out that you've chronicled her---ahem---issues for the entertainment of the masses. Because, my dear pal, if she does, Disneyworld will seem like a cakewalk.
Posted by: Kathy at
10:23 AM
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April 02, 2005
I know you really don't want or need to hear it; that my time is my own, etc. Yeah. Ok. That's all well and good but I've noticed a curious phenomenon: whenever I tell you I'm not going to post, you still come by anyways and keep my stats from going to hell in a handbasket. If I don't announce anything, you desert me quicker than a rat on the Titanic and I wind up having to make up lost ground (read I am NOT going back to marauding marsupial status!).
You'd think it'd be the other way round, wouldn't you? But nooooooooo. You, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, are a contrary lot. And I wouldn't have you any other way.
To keep you happy in the meanwhile, here's some hot link on link action.
- It's International Children's Book Day. Michele is reminiscing and would like you to join her in a stroll down memory lane.
- Steve-o is wondering why Saturday brings out the weirdos. I haven't the foggiest. Last night someone got here by Googling "how to carve a boob cake." There was another funny one, but for the life of me, I can't remember what it was.
- Ah-bloody-ha! Fausta finally answers the question I've wondered about for a year: why the hell was someone googling in looking for "Zapatero Bean Morph"? Thank God that mystery was solved!
She also gives good reasoning as to why you should want to bitchslap that little Spanish bastard.
- Ith has a serious list of House spoilers. DO NOT CLICKET IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW. Of course, I clicked and all I can say is Good God, bring 'em on! And I think I'm actually going to have to subscribe to her email list, which will bring me one step closer to stalker status. Eeeew.
Also, on the actual House site linked above, they've produced a list of "House-isms," which pretty much sums up why I like this show so much. Note that there's quite a few good ones left off this list, too. But you can only find out about those if you watch.
- Via email yesterday, Jonathan told me an incredibly amusing tale which made me laugh uproariously. Sadly, I cannot share the details with you because he has forbidden as much, but go on over to the Galley Slaves and bug him to give up the goods. Because this is really something he should share.
That should keep you happy. But if it doesn't, well, you're screwed I suppose. Sorry, but that's just the way life goes, eh? I suppose this would be the perfect time, though, to tell you to go and scroll through the new and improved blogroll on your right. There's bound to be something good there.
UPDATE: Oh, and before I forget: it's my sister Christi's birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTI!
Until November, you're back to being two years older than me!
{Insert triumphant dance of the terminally younger here}
I really am a stinker, aren't I? Heheheheheh.
Posted by: Kathy at
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April 01, 2005
Once can only hope to go deaf, too, lest I actually have to listen to that crap.
Posted by: Kathy at
11:56 PM
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On KQRS (92.5 FM), top-rated morning host Tom Barnard announced that a judge had overturned Hennepin County's smoking ban. The story, complete with quotes from county commissioners, sounded real to Hennepin County spokeswoman LuAnn Schmaus as she listened on her way to work."It took me a minute until I realized it was April 1," she admitted. (Another tip-off was Barnard's announcement that the United States would cease to exist by 2007). But Schmaus said after another radio station picked up the story and the county got a few phone calls, it put out an official release declaring the story bogus. For its part, KQRS reminded listeners hourly that it had been a joke.{...}
If one bloody Minneapolis City worker had to answer one phone call about the smoking ban being lifted, I am one happy effin' camper.
Seems only fair. Because, you know, the City Council didn't really allow for dissent when they passed the stupid thing.
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11:44 PM
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Posted by: Kathy at
11:02 PM
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I wonder what's going on over there.
Posted by: Kathy at
03:18 PM
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Choice quotes from the decision:
{...}``The statement that the plaintiff is a `Dumb Ass,' even first among `Dumb Asses,' communicates no factual proposition susceptible of proof or refutation.''{...}``denied being an alcoholic, but not that he consumed alcohol to the point of inebriation. . . . Similarly, he used only the present tense in denying that he chewed tobacco; for all the record shows, he might have chewed it in the very recent past, and might intend to chew it again in the future.''
The judges also said no one could determine with provable authority who was a dumb ass and who wasn't. ``To call a man `dumb' often means no more than to call him a `fool,' '' the opinion reads. ``One man's fool may be another's savant. Indeed, a corollary of Lincoln's famous aphorism is that every person is a fool some of the time.''{...}
Snicker.
Hat Tip: Tech Dirt, which is a blog you really should be reading every day.
Posted by: Kathy at
11:22 AM
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The Diva who has answered all of your very important questions this week is Sadie. And this is what she's said.
But, we as we all know, the blogosphere is not really a place that is populated by healthy, well-adjusted people because, let's face it: if we had actual, angst-free lives, we wouldn't be doing this. Hence, Feisty Repartee will conveniently be answering questions for NEXT Friday.
Throw 'em in the email box, which you can find if you clickie on the Divas button on the right sidebar.
Posted by: Kathy at
09:08 AM
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