It's so bloody hot outside and I know exactly how I'm going to feel by the time I've staggered home from work.

I wish I enjoyed white wine more than I do. Times like this, a large glass with a couple ice cubes tossed in can be very refreshing after the commute from hell. Problem is, white wine gives me a very particular kind of headache, even if I only have a little bit.

On the other hand, you can't really toss ice cubes into a glass of red. Not one worth drinking, anyway. Unless you're putting together a pitcher of sangria.

Now there's an idea......

Any suggestions on what makes a good sangria base?

Posted by: Robert at 02:17 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 127 words, total size 1 kb.

Okay, because of one thing and another, I've now seen The Forty Year Old Virgin twice in the course of about two weeks.

Granted, it has its moments. And overall, it's moderately entertaining. But why do so many people seem to go bananas over it? What am I missing here? And am I the only one who thinks the whole thing could have been done in a lot less time?

Oh, by the way. Don't leave the case lying around:

Eight Year Old: "The forty year old....virjib.. virgim...virgin. Daddy, what's a virgin?"

Self: "Ermmmmm......well, you're a bit young to understand. I'll tell you some other time."

Posted by: Robert at 10:03 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 112 words, total size 1 kb.

What is it I'm not getting about Hell's Kitchen?

I finally saw a few minutes (just a few) last evening.

I mean, which is worse, the nasty, foul-mouthed martinent of a boss or the herd of "contestants" who allow themselves to suffer his abuses?

Pretty pathetic all round, if you ask me.

Posted by: Robert at 03:48 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 58 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Oh, dear. How to explain Gordon Ramsey? Well, first let's point out that he's a former footballer who came up from the absolute bottom (potwasher)in French kitchens to have three Michelin stars. He's received as much as he's given over the years. Second, it should be said that he hams it up a wee bit for production values on HK. But...that said, he is considered to be a God in foodie circles. If he dishes it, you take it, and you thank him for it because it'll make your career to have worked with him. Reportedly, a few years back, he was working at one restaurant in London, had issues with the management and walked out. All the staff, front and back of the house, walked out with him. Over forty people. When he's right, he's right. If you're interested in why he's considered to be as good as he is, watch "Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares" on BBC America. I think they just finished their run for this season, but maybe it'll repeat. He goes into a failing restaurant and sets the staff on the right track. It's amazing what he's been able to do with some of these restaurants. One day they were dives you wouldn't want to eat in, with huge waits for food or service, and then the next he's sorted them entirely and they're making money again. It's entirely amazing and you get a better, non-Hollywood-ized idea of his personality.

Posted by: Kathy at July 26, 2006 09:37 PM (FmPYZ)

2 So...what she said. I'm kinda new to Hell's Kitchen (this being the first season I've partaken) but I've known of Gordon Ramsay longer being a tad of a foodie wanna-be. That said, I watch most of it on skim, stopping for the cooking bits.

Posted by: beth at July 27, 2006 03:27 PM (zg2RT)

3 As reality junkie - that is one that really turnned me off. No more for this camper.

Posted by: Greta (Hooah Wife) at July 27, 2006 04:24 PM (R2h9W)

4 As a reality junkie, I simply don't watch television.

Posted by: triticale at July 28, 2006 05:48 AM (Fa6bR)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Know what I hate? Those automatic air-fresheners in restrooms that use sensors to determine when it's time for them to give a puff of scent.

They're such liars!

Posted by: Robert at 09:39 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 34 words, total size 1 kb.

Let's review:

One uses "amount" when speaking of the total quantity of some one thing, e.g. "a large amount of water" or "a small amount of money."

One uses "number" when speaking of units of something, e.g. "a large number of gallons" or "a small number of pennies."

Following on this, one does not say "a large amount of people." It's "a large number of people." Yet I've seen the former expression more and more recently, even in the writing of some authors one would expect to know better. I'm not talking about bloggers writing on the fly, either. I mean professional writers backed up (presumably) by legions of editors.

What is this world coming to?

I may need a large number of wine in order to cope.

UPDATE: I see I'm not the only one bewailing the death of the gentle art of editing.

Posted by: Robert at 09:00 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 151 words, total size 1 kb.

Here's another than always makes me smile:

"Ha! You got that? Ha! Ha!"

Can you guess the movie? (Be warned, it's a trick question.)

UPDATE: Well, the results have been overwhelming. We had to cut off the email account late last night just to keep the whole system from being swamped.

As for your guesses, well, they were pretty varied. I suppose I could see John Wayne saying this. But Julie Andrews? Daffy Duck was a pretty popular suggestion and while wrong, would be distinctly plausible.

Of course, most of you thought it was Marlon Brando's Stanley Kowalski in A Streetcar Named Desire. A completely logical choice. But I told you it was a trick question. And here's the trick:

See, what I always think of isn't Brando's Kowalski. Instead, it's Diane Keaton mimicking Brando's Kowalski in the Woody Allen movie Sleeper.

So no winners today. However, because nobody succeeded in guessing correctly, that simply means that the prize of a full day's supply of Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco Treat will be doubled next time.

See you then!

Posted by: Robert at 12:46 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 186 words, total size 1 kb.

I just spent five minutes in a Word document I'm working on wondering why typing in "blockquote" wasn't causing a paragraph to indent on both sides.

Sheesh.

Perhaps it's just the heat.

Perhaps not.

(Off topic but btw: Thanks, Kathy, for your email. The Tasty Bits (TM) Mail Sack is acting up again, so I couldn't respond directly, but I do appreciate it.)

Posted by: Robert at 11:16 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 75 words, total size 1 kb.

1 It's all good. Not the blockquote thing---I'd say that's lame but I keep doing the same thing with italics, so it's not like I've got room, ya dig?---but the other. If you take my meaning.

Posted by: Kathy at July 18, 2006 08:45 PM (MuVfF)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Assuming we don't get rained out, I'll be joining my office's softball team down the National Mall this evening. It'll be the first time I've played since I started my new job two years ago. I only hope I remember which end of the bat to hold.

I've played on various firm teams around here for better than twelve years. There's just something right about playing softball just down the hill from the White House or across the way from the Washington Monument. Sort of All-American and yet right at the Center of Things.

Plus, and here I confess to the completely unworthy sin of pride, it do make the tourons gawp at you. Because if you're playing ball on the Mall, you just might be one of the Important People, d'ye see.

Let 'em wonder.

UPDATE: A pleasant evening was had by all. The other team forfeited for lack of players, so we all just played an impromptu hit around. Since I'm way out of shape, I took it pretty easy but still got a couple of respectable hits. Also, I made no (obvious) fielding errors and caught one long, high ball.

It rained on us off and on and between that and the fact that we were all drenched in sweat from the heat & humidity, I was perfectly disgusting by the time I got on the Metro.

Posted by: Robert at 02:04 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 236 words, total size 1 kb.

A new site, Cambrian House, has finally gone and made the dreams of all the speculators in the open source community into a real business.

It's like Open Source, but with money!
Cambrian House's mission is to discover and commercialize
software ideas through the wisdom and participation of crowds.
Contributors earn royalties, sharing in the success of the products.

I think it is a great application of the ideas to monetize open source software that have been floating around for a long time. In fact, I've put up some ideas myself. Click on the icons below to see just how silly some of them can be (and VOTE for them if you like them).

Internet TV Portal

Computers for Everyone

Real Estate Agent Rankings

Beyond Blogging to Reporting

Online Music Storage, Manipulation & Sharing.

The only thing I have to complain about so far is the 1000 character restriction for posting ideas. In understand the need to keep the initial submissions concise, but some of the ideas I come up with are more fully fleshed out.

Posted by: MRN aka "The Husband" at 09:41 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 224 words, total size 3 kb.

One of my favorites, which always puts a smile on my face:

Bill: You ditched Napoleon?

Ted: Deacon! Do you realize you've stranded one of Europe's greatest leaders?

Deacon: He was a dick!

Heh. Snappy and true.

Posted by: Robert at 01:13 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 45 words, total size 1 kb.

I don't know what the experience of you devoted Cake Eater fans is with subways out there in the rest of the world, but here in Dee Cee, at least, they always come to a stop at the stations at regulated points. This means that every time they stop, the doors always open up in the same place relative to the platform.

Yet even with this predictability, I notice very few people tactically lining themselves up to be first through the doors when the train stops, the better to get a seat (especially at rush hour).

I can understand the tourons not getting it, but you'd think more regulars would pick up on this trick.

Me? I've got it down to specific tiles on the platform.

Posted by: Robert at 02:45 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 132 words, total size 1 kb.

(part one of a completely pointless series of sports inspired taunts directed toward Blogistan's favorite camelids)

"HEY LLAMA LLAMA LLAMA LLAMA LLAMA SWING LLAMA LLAMA LLAMA!

LLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMA LLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMA

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at 11:57 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 38 words, total size 1 kb.

My holiday celebration? I cooked myself a couple cheeseburgers and spent the evening watching "Cops" reruns on Court-TV.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I hereby claim the Crown o' Lameness. Bow down before me!

Posted by: Robert at 07:07 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 38 words, total size 1 kb.

Y'know, nothing makes my day brighter than sitting in my office and listening to the woman next door having a vicious fight on the phone with her ex over how he's treating the children.

Yes, indeedy.

Posted by: Robert at 02:16 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 48 words, total size 1 kb.

Owing to his wife and children heading off to the beach for a week or two tomorrow morning, a certain someone - let's call him Mr. LL - will be indulging himself in a little retro-bachelorhood. (Nothing scurrilous, of course.)

One of the things Mr. LL intends to do is sit down with his glass of Laphroaig and his cigar and revisit the Conan canon of movies, viewing both of the originals plus The Rock's Scorpion King, which Mr. LL believes to be a worthy successor to Ahnold's previous works. Mr. LL is also going to decide whether Kevin Sorbo's Kull the Conqueror has any place in this list, although he already strongly doubts it. (On the other hand, the Sorbo movie also features Tia Carrere, so who really cares, right?)

Are there any other movies of this sort that Mr. LL ought to include in his viewing list? And don't say Red Sonja, because that was an utter dud, demonstrating nicely the difference between a Truly Bad Film and just plain wasted celluloid.

Posted by: Robert at 02:21 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 184 words, total size 1 kb.

**UPDATED**

Note to self: ix-nay on the semi-boozy late night soul-searching blog posts. They're embarrassing in the morning.

Posted by: Robert at 10:03 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 26 words, total size 1 kb.

Sleepy Beth reviews the latest film incarnation of Pride & Prejudice.

In her review, Beth says:

Many people have said this version is awful (I believe some call it an abomination, even).

I believe that Beth actually could have put a name to this "some" - say... Mr. LL, for example? Heh.

In connection with this, let me tell you an old, old Episcopalian joke:

Q: How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: CHANGE?

I will fully disclose here that, in fact, I have not seen this movie. My disparagement is based solely on the theatrical trailors I've seen. Call me shallow, reactionary or an idiot if you like, but I'm going on instinct and experience here. For me, this is enough.

On the other hand, the Missus rented the new P&P the other evening and watched the whole thing. While she still prefers the Colin Firth version, she reported this one was "okay".

What say you, Kathy?

UPDATE: Kath here to save the daaaaaaaay!

Er. Ahem. Having an Underdog moment. Sorry. Won't happen again.

Anyway, a little birdie told me that someone was trying to rouse me out of my hiatus with a little Pride and Prejudice action.

While the temptation is strong to come back and say what I REALLY think about the new version, well, I can't. Because I haven't seen it, and since we all know that I'm all about informed criticism, I really can't write anything about it.

I will, however, admit to some temptation when I see it on the shelves at the video store, but I haven't succumbed. Really and truly. My distinct loathing of Keira Knightley has not lessened over the months. I do, however, meander on over to the drama aisle and stare at what is, generally speaking, the empty space on the shelf where the BBC version usually rests (Third shelf in the "P's", far right hand side) and dream about Mr. Darcy and wonder what I would look like in an empire waist dress.

Methinks they cover a multitude of sins, which would be good, given the state of my thighs.

Of course, the only reason I would rent the new version---and I'm not saying I ever would give any money to the people responsible---is to rip it to shreds, so it's not like I'm ever going to give it a fair shake anyhow. Not like it deserves one, either. When you get something right the first time, there's no need to do it again, is there? And they definitely got it right the first time, particularly with the casting. I think Robbo called it correctly by saying that it was an "abomination." And, as you, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, know I don't put up with anything that's remotely abominable.

And, yes, that includes snowmen, who will mistake you for a bunny rabbit, then hug you, and pet you, and squeeze you and call you "George."

So, there you have it: the current status of my Pride and Prejudice obsession. Nothing to see here. Move right along.

Posted by: Robert at 11:14 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 526 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Well I didn't want to point fingers I do believe I mentioned that it was lacking in the Colin induced eye-candy department. If not, I meant to. Colin's version is still hands down my favorite.

Posted by: beth at June 28, 2006 02:59 PM (IUoqt)

2 Q: "How many Baptists does it take to screw in a light bulb?" A: "Shouldn't we be asking instead how they got in the light bulb?"

Posted by: Bob at June 29, 2006 10:44 AM (yMzz+)

3 mm, colin firth as darcy..

Posted by: amelie at July 01, 2006 04:42 PM (LLmEK)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Okay, loyal Cake Eater fans, I've got a question for you:

It's late evening and a certain person, let's call him Mr. LL, is wedged in his favorite comfy chair reading a book and sipping at a glass of wine.

Mr. LL has had a long day and is very tired. In fact, he's so tired that he dozes off whilst reading.

A short while later, Mrs. LL appears. She wakes Mr. LL from his light slumber, announces that it's bed time, and departs.

Mr. LL, who is both very relaxed and very groggy, can do one of two things:

First, he can get up and follow Mrs. LL upstairs. This would entail not only hoisting himself out of his very comfy chair, but also staggering about and taking care of all those end-of-the-evening tasks - turning out all the lights, checking the door locks, brushing teeth, putting on jammies, etc., etc.

Second, he can simply roll over in his chair and go back to sleep.

The Question: What should Mr. LL do and why?

UPDATE: My word, you kids seem to have an awful lot of energy! Wait'll you get to be Mr. LL's age and we'll talk some more.

Posted by: Robert at 11:32 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 209 words, total size 1 kb.

What is floating around in my brain all of a sudden? Why, it's "The Yankee Privateer":

Come listen and I'll tell you

How first I went to sea,

To fight against the British

And win our liberty.

We shipped with Captain Whipple

Who never knew a fear,

The captain of the Providence,

The Yankee privateer.

Chorus:

We sailed and we sailed and kept good cheer,
For not a British frigate could o'er come the privateer!

We sailed to the south'rd
And suddenly did meet
Three British frigates convoy
To a West Indian fleet.
Old Whipple put our lights out
And crawled upon their rear,
And not a soul suspected
The Yankee privateer!

Chorus

For ten long nights we followed
And e'er the moon arose,
Each night a prize we captured
Beneath the Lion's nose.
And when the British looked to see
Why ships should disappear,
They found they had in convoy
The Yankee privateer!

Chorus

The biggest British frigate
Bore round to give us chase,
But though we were the flee-er
Old Whipple didn't race,
Until he'd raked her fore and aft
-The lubbers couldn't steer -
And then he showed the foe the heels
Of the Yankee privateer!

Chorus.

This song commemorates the exploits of Commodore Abraham Whipple of Rhode Island. Far from being a privateer, however, his ship, the Providence, was a U.S. Navy frigate:

On June 18, 1779, the frigates Providence, Queen of France and Ranger sailed from Boston on a cruise to the eastward, two of the ships carrying twenty-eight guns each, one mounting only eighteen. As to what occurred during that eventful month on the high seas off the Newfoundland banks, there are varying accounts but they agree in the main on one point: a large number of enemy vessels was captured and sent to Boston under prize crews to bring a vast sum to the wavering colonial fortunes of war. During this whole procedure not a shot was fired, the maneuver evidently relying for its success on the subterfuge of masquerading as friendly British vessels. The ships captured by this remarkable tour de force were of the 700-800 ton class. Winsor, in his ambitious History of America, observes with optimism; "Their cargoes were sold for more than a million dollars and the bold venture is spoken of as the most successful pecuniary enterprise of the war." Above and beyond his share of the prize money and cargoes Commodore Whipple received a communication dated September 19, 1779 from the Marine Committee of the Continental Congress, congratulating him on the success of his cruise and urging the speedy preparation of the vessel Providence for another cruise.

More on the naval career of Commodore Whipple can be found here.

No doubt you're asking, "Tom, what on earth put that song in your head?"

Well, my grandmother gave me an album of Revolutionary War songs put out by the National Geographic Society when I was a little boy. I listened to that record over and over again, so much so that I still remember a solid dozen of the songs.

Let that be a lesson if you're considering giving music to a small child. He may grow up into a total geek.

Posted by: Robert at 01:46 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 540 words, total size 3 kb.

1 I have never heard that song, but now I really want to find the melody so I can sing along with your website.

Posted by: Kestrel at June 23, 2006 06:08 PM (oSWl1)

2 I'm thinking, "Colin Firth!" Don't you think Firth would make a great Commodore Whipple in a PBS mini-series? But perhaps it would be wrong to associate Abraham Whipple's good name with "monkey love". But then again, if Fox Network produced the series, Frito-Lay (peddling its "Cheetos brand" products) would be a sure sponsor. What a conundrum...

Posted by: Bob at June 27, 2006 12:29 PM (yMzz+)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Whenever I'm flying and get even more edgy than usual, I always think back to that classic bit of throw-away from Airplane! where Ted Stryker is sitting in the plane seat next to the little old lady:

LOL: Nervous?

Stryker: Yes....a little.

LOL (reassuringly): First time?

Stryker: No, I've been nervous before.

Always cracks me up. And usually gets my mind off the flight.

Posted by: Robert at 08:13 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 74 words, total size 1 kb.