--- Ah, so I̢۪m a little late today. But it̢۪s still Friday, so,
technically speaking, I̢۪m all good. My absence, however, was probably
just enough to frustrate the five people who read this thing on a
regular basis: they probably had to do some actual work. For that alone
I̢۪m sorry. However, if you choose to look at the big picture, I̢۪m
sure I̢۪m hampering the productivity of the entire world economic
system (or at least the economic systems attached to those five good
little workers who have internet access at work). Yes, that̢۪s right:
the Cake Eater has gone global. (Well, actually, I started off with
readers in Europe, so technically speaking, it̢۪s already
global: might start shooting for a reader or two in Asia when Google
actually starts pinging this bad boy)
Anyway, I apologize. I don̢۪t know what I was thinking. I̢۪ll try not
to let it happen again.
Because we all know the Cake Eater Chronicles was responsible for that
thousandth percentage drop in global GDP last quarter. I should
probably just shut the hell up: I̢۪m doing more harm than good.
Unless, of course, someone wants to translate this thing into Arabic
and I can go after all those Al-Qaeda nutjobs: their productivity could
use some slashing and burning right about now.
And it appears I need to change the password on this bad boy. Can̢۪t
have the husband hijacking posts. He can get his own damn blog if
that’s the case. Which, by the way, he willâ€Â¦stay tuned for more
details. --- Ok, so I was wondering why they coded DVD̢۪s for different regions. I found out.
Goddamn Hollywood bastards. It̢۪s all about money with them. Never
mind the fact I̢۪ve rented Last of the Mohicans about fifteen times on
VHS. I have obviously not contributed enough coin to the coffers at Fox
Home Video to force them to give me what I want. They probably are just ---eleven years later---managing to
make ends meet on that budget, because, you know, those phony cannon
balls must have cost an effing fortune.
Just to prove my point: let̢۪s have fun with math. It costs $3.50 to
rent a movie at Blockbuster? But, we̢۪ll be fair. It hasn̢۪t always cost $3.50. It used to be $0.99 for non-new releases. I̢۪ll just average it out to $2.25 and call it Even Steven.

2.25 x 15=$33.75

That’s how much I’ve paid to see this movieâ€Â¦and I don’t own it.
I also saw it in the theater: that cost $5.00, if I̢۪m remembering
correctly (It came out when I was in college: there was a choice
between buying beer for the evening, or going to see a movie. Daniel
won, and that should say a great deal). We̢۪re up to $38.75.

If I do figure out how to disengage the coding feature on my DVD player (I’m working on that one), the Region 2 DVD on amazon.co.uk costs ₤13.61plus shipping,
which to the US on this package is ₤3.08, which adds up to a grand
total of ₤16.69, which according to today’s exchange rate is
$27.74, which would make for a grand total of $66.49â€Â¦
â€Â¦which is completely irrelevant because, as I just figured out, I wouldn’t be able to watch it anyway because my @#$%$% television set is not programmed to the PAL format: it’s NTSC.

I am officially screwed.

If anyone has any clever hints, please, by all means throw ‘em down. I want
this movie on DVD. One more moment of obligatory
swearing---@!@#@#$%^%$^&%%#$@$$%# !---and I̢۪m done with it until
Fox Home Video decides to release the theatrical edition on DVD. ---
Ok, CNN has finally come up with something to make me watch their
network in the prime time hours: Anderson Cooper.
Usually, I stay the hell away from that channel after six p.m. Once Lou
Dobbs is gone, the rest of the evening lineup sucks. Paula Zahn---gag.
Larry King---when is someone just going to embalm him and be done with
it? But Anderson is different: he actually has some wit to him. How can
you not like someone who, during a report on how, according to some sex
survey, the residents of Hungary are the most sexually satisfied, has a
cartoon bubble pop up over his head that says, “Must go to Hungary”
? Or who uses “metaphorical video” to get his points across? But
neither does this mean he̢۪s an idiot when it comes to delivering the
news. He asks good questions. I’ll grant you, they’re not Jim Lehrer News Hour questions, but hey, it’s CNNâ€Â¦if you want gritty journalismâ€Â¦well, let’s just say the broadcast medium isn’t for you.

In short, if you̢۪re a wise ass, you̢۪ll like him. He does all of those things you do when you watch the news.

Check out this transcript from tonight̢۪s broadcast. Scroll all the way down to the bottom, and check out his Nth Degree
editorial segment. With all of the hubbub surrounding Arnold and Rush
this week, he decided the subject of apologies would be sufficient
material for his editorial segment. He came up with a multi-purpose
apology for when and if he finds himself caught up in a future scandal.
Now, keep in mind, it doesn̢۪t make a whole lot of sense when read,
but if you take into account that every sentence was filmed separately
and could be spliced together at a future date should he, in fact, find
himself wrapped up in a future scandal, well, it̢۪s pretty damn funny.
Give it a looksee if you get the chance. Oh, and Mr. H., I think you
need look no further for hottie viewing at CNN. --- I shouldn̢۪t be laughing. This is a horrible, horrible thing {snort} to happen to anyone, let alone Roy. {guffaw}.

I hope he gets well soon.

{Bwahahahahahahahahaha!}

{Composing self} I̢۪m a horrible person. I̢۪m very, very sorry.

--- Well, he may not be a poet, but it̢۪s pretty obvious he̢۪s enamored of his wife.
Kinda cute in a Reaganesque sort of way, isn̢۪t it? --- Ok, well,
it̢۪s Saturday now. Time to go to bed. See you on Monday.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:55 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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