--- Hey, the husband was RIGHT! Laptop is dried out and is running just fine. Woohoo!

--- I am the least likely person to be calling anyone on their sheer lack of Tolkein knowledge.

Quite frankly, I̢۪ve never read The Lord of the Rings
trilogy, nor do I have any desire to do so. I liked the two movies so
far, however, not because I̢۪m some addled, Tolkein obsessed nut who
reads the three books over and over and over again, and has since they
first received them as a Christmas gift back in 1975 (my brother knows
who he is), but because they did an admirable job of telling the story.
In other words, I am the anti-Tolkein.
So, far be it from me to call the Star Tribune on their massive error.
But I̢۪ll do it anyway, for my brother and the husband, Tolkein nuts
all, would undoubtedly be annoyed at this whopping error.
“With that in mind -- and in keeping with the fact there are
"nine rings to bind them" -- here are nine things that amused and
annoyed us about "The Two Towers." In the precious words of Gollum . .
.”

{Insert Cate Blanchett̢۪s very nice narrating voice here}

“â€Â¦and some things which should not have been forgotten were lost.”
Namely, the Strib̢۪s assumption they have to fact check even the video
reviews in the Freetime Section. There were twenty rings total.
Nineteen were given out (by whom, I do not know): three went to the
Elves, seven to the Dwarf Lords, and nine to the Race of Men. There was
one more ring created secretly, in the fires of Mount Doom, by the Dark
Lord Sauron, and it controls all the others.

The inscription on the One Ring reads:
One Ring to Rule Them All
One Ring to Find Them
One Ring to Bring Them All
And in the Darkness Bind Them
So, what exactly was going on here? What exactly did Eric Hanson and
Randy Salas think? “Oh, we could only come up with nine cutesy
reasons, in Gollum̢۪s weird English, that we liked The Two Towers, but we like that catchy phrase, we can̢۪t exactly remember it, but it talks about binding them, and we know one group
had nine rings, we just can̢۪t remember who and we don̢۪t really
careâ€Â¦it’s Labor Day weekend, for Chrissakes. We’ve got cabins for the weekend and who cares if we’re wrong, really? Just a bunch of addled Tolkein idiots? They need to lighten up anyway!”
This is like claiming that the only reason Chewbacca hung around with
Han Solo was because he̢۪s really just an adventure junkie Wookiee. I
fear for these writers. They̢۪ve just flamed a bunch of really serious
people and I̢۪m going to make the assumption they just don't know how
egregious their error was.
I̢۪m glad my email inbox isn̢۪t attached to this article. {evil
chuckle}
-- Congratulations Janis!
Now, I don’t really care for “At Seventeen,” or any of her music.
It̢۪s a little too floaty for my tastes, but she̢۪s written some very
insightful articles from the perspective of a
not-so-famous-or-recording-industry-powerhouse-anymore-but-still-working-
singer/songwriter about how internet downloads only help recording
artists who aren̢۪t, say, Metallica. You can find them here. If you still bemoan the loss of Napster, it̢۪s worth checking out.

You can shake your fist at the RIAA with a zealot̢۪s righteousness after reading it.

-- Lileks needs to get out of Jasperwood a little bit more.

“Here’s a company with a great product - high-quality tot
photography - and they screw the pooch right off the bat, telling you
that they own the copyright to your child̢۪s photo. (That̢۪s what
they told my wife when she took Gnat in.) Then they call you every day
until you submit to a survey. Oh: you get a floppy disk with one photo,
and it has a proprietary screen saver on it. A floppy frickin̢۪ disk.
In 2003. Oh, it all looks great from a marketing standpoint - end-user
software! Customer follow-up! But from a customer̢۪s perspective
it̢۪s highly annoying, and it makes me suspicious - for all I know the
screensaver reports back to the home office, and tells them whether
we’ve used it.”

James, James, James, says she with a monstrous sigh. Of course they own the copyright to Gnat̢۪s photos. That̢۪s how they make their money. While they took the photos, that doesn̢۪t mean they make any money off the film itself. This would be why most kid photographers don̢۪t charge a sitting fee anymore
They̢۪ve realized the money̢۪s in the prints for every relative of
every child they can get to sit down with angels wings and a little
tutu on. And Gnat was very cute in those photos. But because they took the pictures, there̢۪s a copyright attached,
so you can̢۪t just take one print, and say, run down to Kinko̢۪s and
run a bunch more off on a color copier. I know this for certain because
that̢۪s what my in-laws tried to do with our wedding photos. Kinkos
said, “No can do. These are copyrighted.”
And that was nine years ago, James. Sigh. I am hesitant to point out
this next bit because it̢۪s a bit bellicose and bound to start
something (please?). All those people who use Macs—the three percent
of the entire computing population---are a wee bit touchy when you tell
them things like, “if you had a PC, James, you could tell
if the disk was sending a report home to mama, because you̢۪d
obviously have installed a firewall on your spankin̢۪ new DSL line and
it would inform you as such. But you̢۪re running on a Mac. You have no
idea because your system is an antiquated piece of crap that doesn̢۪t
work with anything that̢۪s worthwhile unless you̢۪re a graphic
designer. I’m sorry, but I refuse to feel your pain.”
I am, however, with you on the telemarketer thing. Annoying little
buggers, they are, and since I paid for part of my college education by
being one, both perspectives are at my disposal. Believe you me, they
would rather be doing something productive with your time rather than
calling you. I know. I've been there. Ask me about my "Betty Crocker
Quick and Easy Crotcheting" selling experience sometime. And no, I
haven't the foggiest on why Betty Crocker's name was on a crocheting
product. They didn't explain that one to me when they gave me the
script. -- Ok, that̢۪s it kids. Haven̢۪t decided whether I̢۪m
blogging on Monday or not. We̢۪ll see if the holiday weekend thing
catches up with me.
Have a fabulouso Labor Day weekend.
I̢۪m very much looking forward to Tuesday when Sullivan gets his
P̢۪Town lounging butt back to work! YAY! August hasn̢۪t been much fun
without him.

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