February 01, 2004

--- Whoooeeee. I don't care

--- Whoooeeee.

I don't care for Howard Stern. I think he's a crass man. Wait a minute. Man
is too good of a term for him. He's a fourteen-year-old boy. A
fourteen-year-old boy who does nothing but masturbate while reading
porn. And he's got a short attention span, so the mag that did it for
him five minutes previous, won't do it for him now. He's not a man;
he's a boy. As Lileks would say, he's taken a wrong turn at the corner
of groin and life. That said, he pulls an audience. A big audience. People
listen to him and what he has to say, even if the topic he seems to hit
on most is porn. Subject matter does have some part in the
cause and effect scenario going on here. It does. If he didn't ramble
on about this, well, Clear Channel wouldn't be pulling him, would they?
But that shouldn't matter. I don't listen to Howard Stern,
mainly, because I think he's foul. But the main reason is that he's not
on the air here in the Twin Cities. He was, for a few month stint, back
in the late 90's, but the local Barnyard animal (people here will get
that) beat him in the ratings and it was too costly to keep paying for
his show, or so the radio station said. I digress, but the point would
be that it's about profitability. Howard gets paid what he does
because he's nationally syndicated. If stations start censoring, well,
Howard will go where he can get the most air time, and that won't be on
broadcast radio. Jarvis think's he'll go to satellite. Maybe. But I
think, perhaps, that the internet could be the venue for him. People
would slap down serious bucks to hear Howard rant and rave---and he
wouldn't have any restrictions---at all. And we know Howard doesn't
like restrictions. I think maybe he's tired of dealing with this stuff
entirely. How many times have they pulled him back? Too many to count.
And after all, the Internet is the perfect venue for someone
who worships at the altar of porn like Howard does. The reason we have
streaming video is because poor Fred in Toledo didn't like having his
dirty movie---the one he'd paid good money for---stopping then
starting, then going really sloooooooooow because of bandwidth issues.
It's a win-win situation---Howard will actually be able to claim
something other than one of his many erections came from his love of
porn. And he'll actually be able to profit from it. How perfect is
that? Remember kids, the Internet loves you more than a lapdancer does.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:27 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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