November 18, 2005
Forget buying a new robe. The poor man's going to need money for therapy.
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November 17, 2005
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You scored as Susie. You are Susie. Simple and sweet, you can insult Calvin in just the right way. You get perfect grades and help Calvin fail his tests. Because of you, the club G.R.O.S.S. started up. Isn't it great that you make a difference in the world?
What Calvin & Hobbes character are you? created with QuizFarm.com |
Hat Tip: You know Who
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It's just so weird.
UPDATE: Yeah, I know this is probably one of the lamest posts you've ever had the opportunity to read. I'm sorry I wasted your time with it, but really you should learn that this blog isn't about you, per se, but is about me, and the shit that is important and interesting to me. You're just along for the ride, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, and it's a free freakin' ride, too, so you really don't have all that much room to bitch, do you? Hmmmm?
UPDATE DEUX: My, my, my aren't I passive-agressive today?
UPDATE TROIS: I don't really have anything to add. I just figured it would be cool to update one more time to freak out the people who are reading this thing via RSS.
Ain't I a stinker?
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LAS VEGAS - Former "Hollywood Madam" Heidi Fleiss says she's bound for a brothel in the southern Nevada desert that she wants to help remake into a resort featuring male prostitutes serving female customers."I am moving to Crystal," Fleiss said Wednesday of a desert crossroads 20 miles north of Pahrump and about 80 miles outside Las Vegas. It features two bordellos and little else.
"I am opening up a stud farm," Fleiss declared from her Hollywood home overlooking the Sunset Strip. "I am going to have the sexiest men on earth. Women are going to love it."{...}
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Our topic today: What women/men say and what they really mean and why do men grunt instead of speaking?
Now, I don't know who threw in the "Why do men grunt when speaking" but that sounds like more like someone's beef with their significant other than an actual topic so I will address that one first because it sounds like someone needs my help demystifying a few things.
And we all know I'm about demystifying things for my devoted Cake Eater Readers.
Ahem.
Why do men grunt when speaking? Well, it's because they can. They can get away with making sounds like that, so they do it. Women, being the dainty little things that we are, can't get away with making sounds like that. It would be considered impolite if a woman made a sound like that, grunting going into the "not very ladylike" catgory of incorrect female behavior, which, let's face it, is the largest category of incorrect female behavior---by a long chalk. It's pretty simple.
Anyway, as far as the difference between what people say and what they mean, well, what exactly is new there, eh, kids? People---man or woman---always say one thing and mean another. That's just the way the world works.
However, it's how you a. suss out the difference between what's said and what's meant and b.handle the difference that matters. You could be a moonbat about it: you could whine on about lies, lies, more lies, the inequity of the lies, that the lies are loud and are told by bigger liars with the ever evil lying megaphone of the conspiracy to kill puppies for profit, ad nauseam, ad infinitum. In other words whining about the lying liars and the liars who love them being your only solution to the problem. Oh, and you'd light the occasional candle and sing "Give Peace a Chance" with Mother Sheehan every now and again, but really, all you care about is bitching about the lying. Or you could be like a Marine: you could recognize the problem, and then you could adapt and improvise to overcome the problem.
As the philosopher John McClane once said: If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. Stop being a part of the problem! So it shouldn't take a great leap of the imagination, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, to guess which option I would recommend you take in divining the truth of your significant other's words.
First, you must in fact realize that there will sometimes, indeed, be a disconnect between what someone says and what they mean. As pointed out above, that's just the way the world works. Second, you must realize that, generally speaking, there's no harm meant in the disconnect. In fact, I would venture a guess and say that when you spot a disconnect, it's that there is enough vulnerability going around to choke a horse. Case in point: when I ask the husband "Do I look fat in this?" He will correctly divine that, yes indeedy, I'm feeling a wee bit sensitive about my body at that point in time, and will---correctly, in my humble opinion---dodge like a mo'fo. He knows that lying isn't an option. That if he says, "no, darling, your ass is as small as a grain of rice," I'll know he's lying. He also knows that telling the truth isn't an option here, either. Because if my ass is, indeed, reminiscent of the rear end of a 1950's Buick, I don't want to hear about it---the brutal truth not always being the best option if you'd like to keep your head attached to your body. The husband, instead of lying or telling the truth, will dodge with a convenient, "You know there's no right answer to that question, so why do you bother asking?" See, my devoted Cake Eater Readers, is he not clever? He has, in one fell swoop, thrown that live grenade back to me, and I can guaran-frickin'-tee you that he's hoping and praying I'm going to stick the pin back in, in essence, leaving it at that. He has, indeed, adapted, improvised and overcome. At this stage of the game, he would be well within his rights to say, "Hoo-ah," in a manner reminiscent of Clint Eastwood, and shove a cigar in his mouth to celebrate the fact he's still alive.
But enough of my bloviating, go forth and read what the Sadie, Silk and Phoenix have written on the topic. Also make sure to check out one of our newest Divaesques, Miss Vile, yet another Kiwi, whom we're very glad to have with us on this adventure.
For the testosterone laden perspective, go and read StiggyPUFFY (Wait a minute. You've changed your blogging persona---again? What's this "Cloud" shit? Sorry, darling, but I'm not squeezing the Charmin this time round. It's getting confusing, so I'm going back to calling you PUFFY. Because, damnit, that's the one you started off with and it's the easiest. Even if you are no longer the world's first highly evolved blogging fish, I still like it.), Phin, The Naked Villains and Jamesyboy. Our guest XY'er this week is That 1 Guy from Drunken Wisdom.
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November 16, 2005
I've said it before but that man is so freakin' hot that bricks melt when he walks on them.
{insert fanning of self here}
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11:59 PM
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Keegan's Pub opened three and one-half years ago in the revitalized Old St. Anthony area of Minneapolis. For three years we met our financial projections before every level of government stepped in to put an end to it.The Federal government forced the State to give us .08
The State government forced us to give a pay increase to our bartenders and servers, our highest paid employees.
Hennepin County gave us the smoking ban.
Minneapolis gave us a smoking ban and more costly and restrictive parking for our customers.
Now Hennepin County can recognize the economic hardship it has caused and act on it. Please do so!
For the first three months of 2005, our sales were up 8% over the same months in 2004. For the most recent three months our sales are down 7.5% compared to the same months in 2004. That is a swing of 15.5%. Although our percentage decrease is smaller than some, it represents the difference between profit and loss. We have not had a profitable month since April, and the trend is downward. October 2005 was 17% down from October 2004. Cold weather will only accelerate the trend as smokers will be less willing to smoke outside. Hence, they will go to locations where they can smoke inside.
{...}One final thought: The argument that non smokers will flock to our restaurants now that we are non smoking is totally bogus. Where are they?{...}
Just in case you're not familiar with the restaurant/bar biz, they make most of their money on liquor sales. The typical profit margin for liquor is, generally speaking, through the roof. That bottle of wine you purchased at the liquor store for $25.00? Well, the restaurant purchased the same bottle wholesale for $8.00---they'll charge $9.00 a glass and will get three and a half glasses out of that bottle. They made $23.50 in profit. One would hope that you're asking yourself, "where's the catch?" Well, here it is: liquor profits pretty much float everything else that's sold in a restaurant or a bar. Food sales aren't, generally speaking, all that profitable. The bottom line is quite clear: if you want a profitable restaurant, you want people to drink. It's pretty damn simple. That three hundred percent markup on booze has to pay the rest of the costs. Like labor. Someone has to pour that wine, after all. The industry average for labor is right around forty percent, and it is, generally speaking, the largest cost. Forty percent of that $23.50 is $9.40, which leaves you $14.10 for things like glassware, tables and chairs, food and liquor costs, rent, and of course, taxes. and there's not going to be that much left over, after that's all said and done. This, of course, is grossly simplified and it's just late enough that I'm not sure I'm doing the math properly, but I'm sure you get where I'm going with all of this.
This is why most bars and restaurants fail within the first year of operation. The margins are razor thin. And when sales of your most profitable item are down because the smokers, the people who buy that very profitable item, are going elsewhere, you'd better realize the jig is going to be up very very soon. 17%, kids. SEVENTEEN FREAKIN' PERCENT. That's huge. If I was still in the restaurant biz and I was the one who was facing those year-to year numbers, I'd be having a heartattack right about now.
Just go ahead and try and tell me the smoking ban isn't hurting bars and restaurants.
St. Anthony Main---where Keegan's is located---when I first moved to Cities, was a dump. The husband and I were down in that neck of the woods recently, and we commented that the only thing that used to be in that neighborhood, besides crack houses, was Surdyks. People have worked very hard and it is now a very nice, interesting part of the downtown Minneapolis scene. I would hate to see all of that progress just die because of the smoking ban.
If you're inclined to act, email the Hennepin County Board of Commisioners at
board.clerk@co.hennepin.mn.us
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11:27 PM
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I suppose, since I'm one of the oldest and dearest Llama blogging pals, that it's time for me to tell you that, ahem, there's no way in hell either one of you is going to hit that.
Give up la poltergeist, boys. It's not going to happen.
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03:57 PM
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The husband and I have long wondered why the ACLU hasn't taken this one to court. After all these plates are a blatant violation of the Fourth Amendment protection against search and siezure without probable cause. One would think that since this is a pretty important violation of the Constitution, and, furthermore that since the ACLU is all about defending the Constitutional rights of the accused, if you'd put the two together, you'd have found a case worth fighting for. Unfortunately, this hasn't been the case. It's not popular to defend drunk drivers, and no one, but no one---including the ACLU---wants to get on the bad side of MADD, so they haven't touched these types of laws with a ten-foot pole.
Until Now. Why, you ask, are they getting involved now? Well, because the plates the great State of Florida would like to stick on drunk drivers are pink.
A Florida state senator wants to require convicted drunken drivers to have license plates that start with "DUI."The proposed law would also require bright pink license plates on vehicles driven by people with restricted driving privileges due to convictions for driving under the influence.
"Maybe it will embarrass people and keep them from drinking and driving," State Sen. Mike Fasano said. "Maybe they'll think twice."
The bill also says police "may stop any vehicle that bears a DUI plate without probable cause to check the driver."
Ohio and Michigan have similar laws in place. Other states have debated the issue, but failed to pass it due to privacy reasons.
"Pink plates would hold out individuals for punishment as well as ridicule. We are very opposed to it," said Larry Spalding, legislative counsel for the
American Civil Liberties Union in Florida.{...}
So, it's not really about the Fourth Amendment violations for the ACLU. Civil rights have very little to do with it. It's about the fact that the proposed plates would be pink and would "hold out individuals for punishment as well as ridicule." That's a problem worthy of the ACLU's attention.
Yet again, it's no surprise why everyone and their mother thinks they're a worthless organization.
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02:35 PM
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*bonus points to whomever can tell me what inspired this question
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01:53 PM
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I don't think Sony BMG had any idea what sort of Pandora's box they were opening up when they allowed that rootkit onto their CD's. First4Internet, the company that promoted and sold the rootkit idea to Sony BMG as the solution to their DRM problems, is not going to exist soon because Sony's getting sued left and right, so it only makes sense that Sony BMG would lay off the liability on them. This isn't going away anytime soon.
Which leads one to wonder what sort of lesson Sony BMG and other record labels will pull from this misadventure. Will they think that it was all right to do insert malware onto people's computers, but that they just need to be stealthier about it next time around? Or will they take the freakin' hint already and shy away from that sort of thing in the future? One would think it would be the latter, but where Digital Rights Management is concerned, and there's loads of money lying about to be spent on lawyers and lobbyists, one can't be too sure about anything.
This is the first battle in the DRM war for as long as I can remember that the record companies have lost. That they've been willing to retreat on because it became patently obvious that their chosen method of DRM was bad for business. One wonders when they will realize that DRM in itself is bad for business?
{...}I'm all for the capitalist system. But I'm also very much a strict constitutionalist and for individual liberties. DRM systems are not a business model, they're an abuse of the legal system: a means to extract fees and control above and beyond the original intention of a simple business transaction.{...}For me, DRM falls into the same category as the Kelo decision. Personal property rights are an absolutely crucial ingredient to the liberty and prosperity that Americans enjoy. My opinion of the Kelo decision is that it is possibly the most damaging legal ruling in the history of the United States. The entire mortgage industry, which has enabled more people in America to own their homes than in any other country, and which for the past 30-50 years has been the chief enabler driving the economy is all based upon the idea that the property of an individual has value. If the government can come in and expand the definition of Eminent Domain seemingly arbitrarily, that property will cease to have the same value it has in the past. This has the potential to undermine the economy in a way that oil shortages and natural disasters never can. This erodes the trust and covenent between the individual in a democracy and the government elected to represent that individual.
That may look like it has nothing to do with DRM, but to my mind its the same thing on a different scale. If I buy a piece of music, does Sony and it's lawyers get to tell me what I can do with that music? If so, then what did I just pay for? Can Sony and its lawyers change the definition of what I can do with that music after the purchase? If so, then they can arbitrarily affect the value of the thing that I supposedly own without compensating me for the change in value. This is truly dangerous.{...}
There has got to be a better way to ensure that artists get paid. There just has to be, because this is getting entirely out of hand.
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November 15, 2005
Joseph Stephanides was fired on May 31 after a U.N.-appointed inquiry led by former U.S. Federal Reserve chairman Paul Volcker accused him of improperly steering an oil-for-food contract to a British firm.The mid-level aide maintained he was acting on behalf of unnamed superiors in advising Lloyd's Register Inspection Ltd. to lower an open bid to win a contract.
A joint staff-management disciplinary panel reviewing his dismissal had recommended he be reinstated and given a written apology and two years' pay in damages.
Based on the review, Secretary-General Kofi Annan decided to rescind the dismissal and effectively restore four months of pay to Stephanides, who had been scheduled to retire in September.
But Annan rejected an apology and damages. "The secretary-general still maintains his position that Mr. Stephanides has violated the procurement rules," a U.N. official said.
{...}Annan, himself under attack for mismanagement of the Iraq oil-for-food program, dismissed Stephanides after Volcker's February 3 report. It accused him of colluding with Britain's then-U.N. ambassador, John Weston, by suggesting Lloyd's Register Inspection Ltd. would win a $4.5 million contract by lowering its bid.
While French firm Bureau Veritas was the low bidder, U.N. officials decided they could not select a French firm because they had recently given another contract to a French bank and hired a Frenchman as a U.N. oil overseer for the program, Volcker's report said.
Christopher Burnham, the U.N. undersecretary-general for management, said in a letter to Stephanides that he violated a U.N. requirement of impartiality by "advising the British Mission how much lower the Lloyd's bid needed to be."{...}
Hmmm. Now, there's something I'm finding curious in all of this: where's Stephanides' payola? How much did he get from Lloyd's---and where did he put it? Everyone else in this deal made some coin: there's no mention in the article of Stephanides' having received any cash. Never mind that Kojo Annan received $200K from a Swiss firm for steering Oil for Food business their way and his father hasn't been so much as slapped on the hand for it; never mind that Benon Sevon made some cash with oil payments, and he was allowed to resign; it's simply interesting to me that they would fire the one guy who didn't receive any cash for his efforts.
That really doesn't make much sense, does it?
Unless he's the patsy. Then it makes a whole lot of sense.
Hmmph. I don't know.
But I do know that I love that I just had the opportunity to use the word "patsy." I'm, like, all Oliver Stone-ish now with the conspiracy theory.
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It's super-duper snarky tonight---and it's really good. You're going to want to rewatch it. Trust me on this one.
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10:36 PM
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{hat tip: the llamas}
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04:12 PM
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If you're interested, take the jump. more...
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03:59 PM
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*ten points to whomever can name the song/artiste
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02:53 PM
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But, we're not out of the woods, yet. And it looks like it's actually going to snow well into Wednesday... Or so the local weather guy keeps assuring me, in a breathless, oh-pleasepleaseplease-let-it-be-true, pants chock-a-block full of ants sort of way.
This is my ninth Minnesota winter. I still have yet to understand why people up here get as excited as they do when it comes to the first snowfall. Whoop-de-doo. It snows here in the winter. {Insert Gomer Pyle Voice Here} Surprise, Surprise, Surprise! {/Gomer voice} We live in the northernmost state in the contiguous forty-eight; we're just south of Canada: it's going to snow, sometime, during the winter. It's a given. Yet people---the weather people in particular---get all breathy and hysterical about it, like virgins on prom night. Their eyes shine with an unholy glee that suggests ice fishing is just around the corner and they can't freakin' wait to drive their ten-ton pickup truck across a frozen lake to their ice fishing hut so they can saw open a hole in the lake and sit there with a twelve pack of Bud, and a line in the frozen water. (Yes. You're remembering Grumpy Old Men aren't you? Yes, people actually do that up here. They didn't just make that up.) They think of the joys of outdoor ice rinks and cross country skiing and snowshoeing and snowmobiling and all of that winter-related crap---and yet none of these winter pasttimes can happen unless the snow starts falling.
So, if you believe the hype, you'd think the State of Minnesota would be full of people who love winter. And yet....and yet, even here in the Great White Hinterlands people still forget how to freakin' drive in the fluffy white stuff. I know. You'd think it would be the opposite. That we'd have a population of nothing but battle-hardened, wise drivers who could handle driving in snow and ice. But no. People here are like people from anywhere else: they will forget how to drive today---and it will be because there will be snowflakes falling from the skies. Some people will forget how to brake today, while others will forget how to press the gas pedal. Some will swerve and will wind up in the ditch. Some will not swerve and will wind up in the back of the car in front of them. Some will make it home safely; some will have to have their cars home. All will bitch about everyone else's inability to drive in bad weather.
It's amazing in this day and age that people could forget that they have anti-lock brakes, but they do. They also forget that they have nice tires that grip the road in all weather conditions. They forget not to ride on the brake and that if your car starts to swing one way, you slowly turn the steering wheel opposite. But mostly they'll forget that it's been warm this autumn---the ground hasn't frozen yet, so it's not like ice will be forming on streets where there's plenty of traffic, eh? It's just wet, kids, not slippery. It's not that hard, people, to remember this stuff. Really, it's not. Save everyone the traffic jam tonight, please. I don't want to have to listen to a thousand horns honking outside of my nice, warm apartment this evening.
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11:27 AM
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November 14, 2005
Posted by: Kathy at
06:28 PM
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{...} the rootkit technology itself has copyright infringing code taken from LAME, the open source mp3 encoder -- which has a clear copyright license, requiring certain things, none of which Sony BMG/First4Internet follows. Yes, the irony is thick: this technology that Sony BMG still claims is necessary to protect its intellectual property, apparently violates other's intellectual property{...}
Yes, kids, you read that one right: the only copyrights that matter are Sony's.
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02:51 PM
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After an unusally balmy autumn, the Twin Cities are bracing for the first significant snowfall since March with up to 5 inches of snow scheduled to pile up by midday Tuesday.The entire state of Minnesota and much of western Wisconsin is currently under a winter storm watch.
For the Twin Cities, rain is expected tonight, turning to snow after 9 p.m. Tuesday's rush hours are likely to be tortured, with 3 to 5 inches possible by late evening Tuesday, compounded by strong winds gusting toward 30 miles per hour.
Winds are expected to continue to roar into Wednesday, with falling temperatures producing subzero windchills. The predicted low temperature for Tuesday is 24 degrees, but for Wednesday it's predicted to fall to 12 degrees. {...}
Oh, yay. Can't hardly wait!
/sarcasm
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02:20 PM
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