Hello Cake Eater fans. I thought I'd better come in early and introduce myself before the Llamas start spitting on the drapery and shedding on the furniture (I've been off the farm long enough that I have no interest in cleaning up llama poo). My name is Russ, I'm from Winterset, and I am so creatively challenged that I use my name & location as an internet handle.

Kathy and I became acquainted last year when she stumbled upon a series of dispatches I filed from the Big 12 basketball tournament in Kansas City. My drunken homage to Hunter S. Thompson made Kathy snicker, and she threw a shout out to a fellow Iowa State grad over at the Llama's pad. I consumed a beer for her at Kelly's, and the empty cup went on to appear in a series of traveling photos. I've done a few posts as a guest at Blonde Sagacity, but since mid-fall I've been in the grips of a bad case of blogging ennui, and my muse has been silenced. When Kathy asked me to help fill in during her vacation, I jumped at the chance to reinvigorate my schtick.

I've always struggled with finding my niche on blogs. Kathy's advice is to tackle topics that interest you, and don't worry about trying to be Stephen Hawking, Stephen Ambrose, or even Steven Tyler - just be yourself. OK, but be careful what you ask for. I'll try to relive my old high school class clown act for you, mainly because I can't compete with the other guests in obscure Royal Navy trivia (sooper sekret message to the llamas: Jack Aubrey? I've got one word for you, boyz - EXOCET!) and sexy hotness (whenever I have bedhead, it's never sexy. It's more of an "eraserhead meets Reverend Jim" visual).

Take the jump to the extended entry if you want to get my opinion on the winter olympics. I'm old enough to remember the 1980 Lake Placid games (my 12th birthday was four days before the "Miracle on Ice" game), and the memories of Herb Brooks' underdogs and Eric Heiden tearing up the ice in the speed events are my favorite Winter Olympic moments.

The Turin games (Torino? I can't use that name. One of my high school buddies had a Torino, and the memory of a fumbling attempt at sexual congress with a cutie in the backseat of that beast makes me reluctant to associate that word with an Olympic event.) are interesting, but I've had a hard time getting up for the games. Part of the problem is the time lag, because it's hard to avoid the news all day so that the events are "plausibly live" during prime time.

Another problem seems to be that I just don't care. Really. Don't care. Ice dancing? That Ukranian woman must have raided Jenna Jamison's wardrobe before her routine, but I can get that anywhere. Don't care. Ski jumping? Since "Eddie the Eagle" retired, the odds of another "agony of defeat" moment have significantly receded, and I find myself flipping channels looking for a craptacular "made for the SciFi channel movie" or even a good infomercial. Don't care. Hockey? Ever since they opened it up to pros, I've had a hard time getting into the puck, which is a shame. The '02 games in Utah had great stories (I especially liked the dominance of the Russian goalie Khabibuhlin, because "the 'Buhlin Wall" is such a kickass nickname), but these games haven't really tripped my trigger yet. Maybe I'd feel different if the US or even Canada were doing better, but who knows?

The only events I've had any interest in so far (besides our loss to the Swedes in hockey) are bobsled and the half-pipe (insert your own bong joke here).

My wife, on the other hand, is absolutely head over heels in love with these games. She insists on catching all the coverage every night, and I tried to play along for a couple of days, but I just couldn't fake it. I know I'm missing some great performances, but it's just not worth sitting through all those "profiles in self-importance" they use for filler in order to get to the Good Stuff.

My laptop battery is dying now, so I'll save the rest of my rant for an update once I get to work. TTFN.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at 06:02 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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